Chapter 59 The Begonia Remains, My Heart Is Unable to Rest
As the carriage stopped in front of the Fang residence, Xiaoyanzi eagerly lifted the curtain and alighted. Her moon-white skirt brushed against the copper rings on the shaft, making a crisp clinking sound. The familiar fragrance of crabapple blossoms filled her face. The old locust tree at the gate swayed in the wind, its leaves rustling. This was where she had lived for sixteen years, but today, as she stepped inside, she felt weak underfoot, even the air felt unreal and stagnant.
"Miss, you're back!" Chuntao ran out, her skirt in hand. Her blue apron was still stained with flour. Seeing Xiaoyanzi's pale face, she hurried forward to support her. "The mistress is very worried in there. She made some calming soup and kept it warm."
Little Swallow was supported by her as she walked inside, her steps light and airy, as if treading on cotton. As she passed the courtyard, she caught a glimpse of the zither sheet music she hadn't put away that morning still lying on the stone table. The four characters "Pingsha Luoyan" (Pingsha Luoyan) on the rice paper had been curled by the wind, and her heart suddenly felt heavy. She had endured countless cold nights in the south of the Yangtze River, her fingertips had been rubbed raw countless times, all in her life, trying to learn these "elegant things," but she still couldn't avoid the moment of performing before the emperor.
"Brother, do you think the Emperor will think I play the zither poorly?" she whispered to Xiao Jian beside her, her voice trembling. The red silk ribbon at the end of her braid hung down across her chest, swaying gently with her steps. "In my previous life, I never even touched a zither. If I play like that in this life, will he notice anything?"
Xiao Jian grasped her wrist with his backhand, the warmth of his palm transmitting through the fabric, a soothing force. "He didn't say anything bad, and instead kept the zither, which means he's not angry." He paused, his eyes scanning the surroundings, and lowered his voice. "But from now on... I'm afraid you'll have to be more careful."
Xiaoyanzi nodded, her eyes slightly red. She knew Xiao Jian was right. Qianlong's gaze was too heavy, like a hook, trying to drag her out of this peaceful Haitang Courtyard and back to the red walls that had trapped her in her past life.
As soon as she entered the main hall, Madam Fang came to greet her. The cuffs of her moon-white silk jacket were stained with water, and it was obvious that she had just come out of the kitchen: "Ci'er, how are you? The emperor didn't make things difficult for you, did he?" She took Xiaoyanzi's hand and looked her up and down. Seeing that her daughter was just pale, she breathed a sigh of relief, but her fingertips were still trembling slightly.
"Mother, I'm fine." Xiaoyanzi forced a smile and tried to pull her hand back, but her mother held it tighter. "The emperor just asked me to play a piece of music, he didn't say anything else."
"That's good, that's good." Mrs. Fang patted her chest, her hair scattered by the wind. "Your father is waiting for you in the study. He said he wanted to ask about the situation."
Xiaoyanzi followed her mother into the study. Fang Zhihang was standing by the window, his hands behind his back, the back of his long, dark blue gown gleaming in the sunlight. Hearing footsteps, he turned, his eyes more bloodshot than this morning. The teacup on the table was still steaming, evidently having been waiting for a long time.
"Are you back?" He said in a hoarse voice, pointing to the embroidered cushion in front of the table, "Sit down."
Xiaoyanzi sat down, her fingers unconsciously picking at the winding branches on the hem of her skirt. Fang Zhihang walked to the table, picked up the bright yellow letter, and gently tapped the word "harmony" with his fingertips. "Did the emperor keep that guqin?"
"Yeah." Xiaoyanzi nodded, her voice as low as a mosquito's hum. "He said... he wants to listen to Jiangnan folk songs next time."
"Jiangnan Xiaodiao?" Fang Zhihang frowned and placed the letter back next to the inkstone. A little ink splashed out, forming a small black dot on the rice paper. "This is... intentionally summoning you to the palace more often."
Xiao Jian stood aside, the sleeves of his moon-white gown tightening. "Father, what does the emperor mean by this? If he likes the art of zither, there are many musicians in the palace. Why is he focusing on Ci'er?"
Fang Zhihang said nothing. He walked to the window and looked at the crabapple tree in the courtyard. Petals fell to the ground, like a layer of pink snow. "The Fang family has just arrived in the capital. Although we have some reputation, we have no foundation. Whether the emperor's 'attention' to us is a blessing or a curse is still unknown." He sighed, his voice full of worry. "Ci'er, when you were playing the piano today, did the emperor say anything special?"
"No." Xiaoyanzi shook her head, her heart tightening as she recalled the smiling look in Qianlong's eyes when she played the wrong note. "He just asked if the zither was suitable, and he said... he said I played it casually." She paused, mustering the courage to look up. "Dad, I don't want to enter the palace anymore. That zither... can we send it back?"
"Send her back?" Fang Zhihang turned around, looking at her gravely. "Sending her back would be disobeying the emperor's order, and the Fang family cannot bear this accusation." He walked up to his daughter, squatted down, and took her hand. His palm was rough but warm. "Ci'er, Dad knows you're afraid, but this is not up to us. The emperor has spoken, so we can only agree. But from now on...you must never be as casual in the palace as you are at home. You must be careful with your words and actions."
Little Swallow bit her lower lip and nodded, but couldn't help but let her tears fall. They hit the back of her father's hand, burning hot. "But I'm afraid... I'm afraid of being locked up in the red walls like in my dreams, unable to see you, or Liu Qing and Liu Hong..."
She didn't dare to say "in the past life" and could only use "in a dream" to cover it up. Mrs. Fang quickly stepped forward to hug her, wiping her tears with a handkerchief: "Silly child, how could you? With your father and your brother here, no one can bully you."
As he was speaking, the butler hurried in, the collar of his blue cloth jacket askew, holding a rosewood box in his hands. "Master, the palace has sent someone again! Eunuch Su said this is a gift from the Emperor for Miss, and asked her to 'consider it' carefully."
"Another reward?" Little Swallow's heart sank suddenly. She looked at the gold-painted box as if it were a hot potato.
Xiao Jian took the box, which felt heavy in his hand. He unlocked it, revealing a bright yellow brocade covering. Inside, however, was not gold, silver, or jewelry, but a stack of musical scores. The cover bore the words "Jiangnan Yuefu" in bold, bold handwriting, apparently written by Emperor Qianlong himself.
"The Emperor also said," the butler panted, "that he wrote down these pieces during his early southern tours. If the young lady can practice them well, she can play them for him next time she enters the palace. He... he will be very happy."
"Southern Tour?" Xiaoyanzi looked up suddenly, her face paler. She remembered hearing Ziwei say in her past life that Qianlong met Xia Yuhe during his southern tour. That was Ziwei's mother's fate, and also the beginning of all the subsequent turmoil. What did he mean by mentioning the southern tour and sending the Jiangnan Yuefu at this moment?
Fang Zhihang picked up the music sheet and traced the writing on the cover with his fingertips. He was silent for a long time before he slowly spoke: "It seems... the emperor is determined to acknowledge you as his 'daughter'."
"Adopt him as your daughter?" Xiaoyanzi was stunned, tears still hanging on her eyelashes. "Why would he adopt me as his daughter? I'm enough for the Fang family. I don't want to be a princess!"
In her previous life, she accidentally became "Princess Huanzhu" and got into a lot of trouble. In this life, she just wants to be Fang Ci and take care of her parents and brother. Why is it so difficult?
"Ci'er, don't talk nonsense." Madam Fang quickly covered her mouth and looked out the door in panic. "If this gets out, you'll lose your head!"
Xiao Jian closed the music box, and the lock clicked, making a clear sound in the quiet study. "Dad, the emperor is clearly pressing us step by step. We can't just sit there and wait for death. If all else fails, we have to go back to Jiangnan!"
"Go back to Jiangnan?" Fang Zhihang smiled bitterly and shook his head. "Now that the emperor has noticed Ci'er, where can we go back to? Jiangnan may be beautiful, but it's also under the emperor's feet." He pushed the music sheet in front of Xiaoyanzi, his eyes serious. "Keep this music sheet for now. Pick out some simple exercises to practice every day, and don't let the emperor find any mistakes. As for entering the palace...if you can postpone it, then do it. If you can't, just think of it as doing it for the Fang family and endure it."
Xiaoyanzi stared at the rosewood box, feeling a weight weighing on her heart. The four characters "Jiangnan Yuefu" on the music sheet transformed into the shadow of a red wall, encircling her. She knew her father was right; the Fang family had no escape route in the capital, but she truly feared that the stability she had finally achieved would be scattered like the petals of the crabapple tree in the courtyard, blown to pieces by a gust of wind.
The wind picked up outside the window again, whirling petals from the ground and drifting them toward the corridor. Little Swallow, gazing at the dancing pink and white blossoms, suddenly felt that no matter how fragrant the crabapple blossoms in this mansion were, they couldn't block the chill blowing in from the palace walls. And that chill was creeping closer, leaving her with nowhere to hide.
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