Chapter 114: Dusk brings sorrow and sadness to the letter, a heart lamp lights the way forward
Dusk, like ink-soaked rice paper, gradually stained the eaves and corners of the Fang Mansion. Beneath the sycamore tree in the west wing, Ziwei was practicing calligraphy by the window. Candlelight filtered through the lattice, casting a faint shadow on her pale face. She was writing "Lotus Wind Lyrics," her mother Xia Yuhe's favorite poem. As her pen moved across the rice paper, and the ink spread, she couldn't help but look out the window, as if she could see through the layers of night to Daming Lake in Jinan.
Xiaoyanzi stood silently in the corridor, watching Ziwei's brows furrow slightly as she began to write, her fingertips unconsciously twisting the cloud pattern on her sleeve. For the past three months, she had watched Ziwei conceal her longing for her mother in her poems, sew her hope of finding her father into the lapels of her clothes, and often heard her call out "mother" in her dreams at night. The suffering Ziwei endured in the clan house in her previous life, the sight of her kneeling in the rain begging for recognition of her relatives, pierced her heart like needles, making it impossible for her to hesitate.
"What are you thinking about?" Xiao Jian had stood behind her without her noticing, holding a sheep-horn lantern. The warm yellow light stretched their shadows very long. He had just returned from outside, and his blue shirt was still damp with the night dew.
As Xiaoyanzi turned, she bumped into the porch pillar and hissed in pain, but quickly covered her mouth. "Brother! How can you walk without making any noise?" She rubbed her arm and lowered her voice to a very low voice. "I think... I'll go see the emperor tomorrow."
Xiao Jian handed her the lantern and touched the corners of her red eyes with his fingertips: "Have you thought it through?" He had long seen that his sister had been having trouble sleeping and eating these days. The letter in the study that she had written and revised had three layers of ink smudged.
"Yes." Xiaoyanzi nodded, her voice hoarse. "If we delay any longer, Ziwei will suffer even more." She fished out the neatly folded letter from her sleeve, the edges of the paper frayed from the grip. "Please pass it in for me. Eunuch Su said the Emperor will be staying in the Imperial Study tonight."
Xiao Jian took the letter, his fingertips pausing on the envelope. There was no letterhead on the envelope, only a crooked little swallow drawn on it—a symbol she had agreed upon with Emperor Qianlong in a previous life. "The palace is not like home. When I meet the Emperor…" He was interrupted by Little Swallow before he could finish his words.
"I know my limits." She looked up at the crescent moon in the sky, half obscured by clouds, like a thin veil. "I'll only talk about Ziwei, not rebirth, and won't provoke him to recall the bad things in his past life." She suddenly grabbed Xiao Jian's wrist, her palm burning. "Brother, do you think... will the emperor believe it? Will he treat Ziwei well from the beginning, like in his last life?"
Xiao Jian patted the back of her hand, the light from the lantern flickering in his eyes. "The Emperor feels guilty, but he also misses you. You just need to present Ziwei's sincerity to him, and leave the rest to fate." He stuffed the letter into his arms and pulled out a small copper whistle from his sleeve. "This is from Guard Zhou. If there's an emergency in the palace, blow it three times and he'll try to get you."
"I know. It's like sending me to the battlefield." Xiaoyanzi took the whistle and put it in her arms. She smiled cheerfully, but there was a hint of soreness in the corners of her eyes. "I'll go tell Ziwei that I have to accompany my mother to make snacks tonight and will be back later."
She turned and went into the house. Ziwei had just finished writing the last sentence, "The lotus breeze brings fragrance, and the bamboo dew drops make clear sounds." When she saw her come in, she hurriedly picked up the paper to dry: "Where have you been? I wrote a new poem and was just about to show it to you." The candlelight reflected the smile in her eyes, like starlight.
Xiaoyanzi walked over to help her smooth the paper. Her fingertips brushed over the words "Lotus Wind" and her throat tightened. "It's really well written, even better than the one in the poetry collection I saw last time." She avoided Ziwei's eyes and picked up the teapot on the table to pour a cup of tea. "I'm sleeping in my mother's room tonight. She said she'll teach me how to make lotus cake tomorrow. You should go to bed early and don't stay up late."
Ziwei looked at her strangely: "What's wrong with you? Your voice is strange." She reached out and touched Xiaoyanzi's forehead, "Are you sick?"
"How can I be sick!" Xiaoyanzi turned her head away, grabbed a piece of almond cake on the table and stuffed it into her mouth, and said vaguely, "It's just the strong wind. You go to sleep, tomorrow... tomorrow I will bring you freshly baked lotus cake." She finished speaking hurriedly and almost ran away from the house.
The lanterns in the corridor swayed gently in the night wind. Xiao Jian was still standing there. When he saw her come out, he handed her a cloak and said, "It's cool at night."
Xiaoyanzi put on her cloak and watched Xiao Jian's figure disappear into the moonlight. The light of her lantern shone on the bluestone slabs beneath her feet as she walked towards the gate. In the distance, the night watchman's clapperboard sounded, "dong-dong-dong," knocking in the silent night and hammering at her anxious heart.
She knew that from the moment Xiao Jian handed the letter in, some things could never be undone. But looking at the lighted window in the west wing, thinking of Ziwei's gentle smile, she clenched the copper whistle in her arms and took firmer steps.
In order to save Ziwei from suffering and to make up for the regrets of her past life, she had to step into the palace. And the letter containing the secret was like a lamp in the dark night, illuminating the road ahead. Even if the end was the unfathomable palace, she had to go on.
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