Zhao Shu would rather he leave in anger, even if they become strangers, than see his tolerant and warm smile now, which would make her feel more at ease.
It's hateful that I suddenly had a pang of conscience. If it weren't for that momentary moment of weakness, how wonderful it would have been if things had continued like this? I could have gotten his help without giving anything in return.
At this moment, Zhao Shu felt a little regret, but more than that, she felt relieved. In the end, her heart was not hard enough.
"Now that we've laid it all out, let's make a clean break. Though I may be malicious, I'm not one to drag things out." She looked coldly into Wei Tingsi's eyes, leaving him no room to evade her gaze.
Wei Tingsi handed the chicken leg over again and said with a gentle smile, "Even if you want to kick me out, eat something first."
As if he could see right through Zhao Shu, his words were filled with suppressed tension and sadness, making one feel so sorry for him that they wanted to cry.
Zhao Shu took it, took a bite, but couldn't taste it.
"Without salt, it must taste bad. If you really can't eat it, I'll take you back to the capital." His smile never changed, but Zhao Shu's face was too cold, and even the warmest smile would falter. However, he wanted to do his best to give her a warm smile.
He doesn't smile often, but at this moment, he wanted her to see him, to see that he was willing to smile more for her.
Zhao Shu turned her head away and exhaled a breath of stale air. "I am not as elegant and noble as Sun Yunqing, nor as charming and alluring as Hao Fei. I am ruthless, vicious, and full of scheming. I am only using you. A woman like this does not deserve your kindness."
"So what?" He met Zhao Shu's gaze, his eyes filled with tension and panic, but even more so with determination and disapproval. "What do I care if others are elegant, noble, charming, or beautiful? Even if you are ugly and scheming, to me, you are just a woman who wants to protect herself and her family. You are easily moved and kind-hearted. You used me, but you never thought of taking my life. That's enough."
Zhao Shu looked up at the starry sky, sparkling and filling the heavens. A cool breeze rustled through the green mountains, making the world seem peaceful and harmonious.
"Why bother, knowing I can't give you what you want?" This man, whose love was late in coming, was unlucky enough to run into her. If it were any other woman, she would have already secretly fallen for him with such tender care.
In the world of emotions, the most helpless thing is that you are young and innocent, with love as deep as the sea, while I am heartbroken and disillusioned.
Why?
They both knew what the outcome would be after that question—perhaps they would hold hands and commit to a lifetime together, or perhaps they would become strangers, never to recognize each other again.
Zhao Shuxian asked herself, why? Was it cowardice, being bitten by a snake once and being afraid of a rope for ten years, having exhausted her feelings, being disheartened, too many things she dared not do, too many things she rejected?
Living in Dayong and born into royalty, it was impossible not to get married. But at this moment, the discussion was not just about the marriage certificate, nor just about the status of husband and wife.
If he only wanted to marry her, he could have simply asked for permission. Why bother with all this protection? What he wanted was his wholehearted affection.
She couldn't give him all that affection; she couldn't give it, and she didn't dare to, for fear that fate would repeat itself, for fear of being heartbroken.
She no longer has the strength to truly love someone, nor the courage to disregard everything for the sake of so-called feelings. If you were to ask her what definition of love is, it would certainly be meaningless and worthless.
Moreover, Wei Tingsi protected her with utmost care, made silent sacrifices, and acted with both trepidation and anticipation, clumsiness and sincerity.
She was just like her past self, cautiously trying to win a devoted relationship, making many efforts and sacrifices for it, only to find out in the end that it was all a deception and exploitation. No one knew better than her how much it hurt.
How can I bear to hurt someone who truly cares for me? How can I bear to deceive and exploit them?
If being hurt makes one without principles, conscience, or humanity, then what's the point of rebirth? Waving a big flag is just a way to avoid taking responsibility for this relationship. Zhao Shu smiled self-deprecatingly. Cowardly and suspicious, that's just who you are, Zhao Shu.
"Shushu, please don't say it, I beg you." He suddenly grabbed Zhao Shu's arms and pleaded.
Zhao Shu wanted to cry, but for some reason no tears came; her eyes were bright and cold as winter snow.
"I'm sorry, I understand your feelings, but I can't give you what you want. It's not that you're not good enough, it's that you're too good. If you don't like someone, you won't like them in the first place. I was using you from the beginning, and I will continue to use you in the future. That won't change. Before you become too attached, I advise you not to be delusional."
Little by little, she pried his hands off her arm, but he was too strong, and she couldn't pry them off no matter how hard she tried. "You're hurting me."
He slowly let go, the loss, disappointment, and intense grief in his eyes lashing at Zhao Shu's heart like a whip. "Actually, the more someone likes me, the more I hate them. I wasn't being soft-hearted just now; I just couldn't control my hatred for you."
If we were to describe Wei Tingsi's current mood using the four seasons, it would be like being in late autumn or the dead of winter, feeling desolate and lonely, with the fire in his heart mercilessly extinguished by the winter snow and ice.
He looked at Zhao Shu, trying to see a joke or a taunt in her eyes, but there was none. All he saw was a piercing coldness and a heart-wrenching indifference and disgust.
Zhao Shu looked directly at him, took off the Cloud-Piercing Chain from her neck—a token that could command Yipinju and Jiedaoge—and said, "Here you go."
He didn't take it, staring directly at Zhao Shu with hurt in his eyes, "Since I gave it to you, there's no reason for me to take it back."
"I loathe everything about you." She forcefully shoved the Cloud-Piercing Chain into his hand, turned her head away, and said coldly, "Why aren't you leaving? Do you want me to say something drastic?"
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