An early summer evening breeze whipped dust past the entrance of West Alley. Two masked men huddled against a mottled wall, their machetes at their waists gleaming coldly in the twilight. The tall, thin man rubbed his shivering hands and asked in a low voice, "Brother, why hasn't that little bitch come yet?"
The burly man spat, his voice tinged with impatience beneath his coarse mask. "What are you panicking about? Zhang Laosan said she'll take this route to Ciyun Temple." He stroked the hilt of his knife, remembering the hundred taels of silver Liu had promised him. Greed flashed in his eyes. "Be quick and don't let anyone see your face."
Before he finished speaking, the sound of carriage wheels came from the alley. The two looked at each other, holding their breath and pressing against the wall. The moment Shen Weiwan opened the curtain of the sedan chair, the strong man waved his hand fiercely: "Go!"
The tall, lanky man had barely taken half a step when suddenly, a burst of sparks exploded beneath his feet! The red firecrackers rolled to his feet, sending gravel flying everywhere. He let out a terrified cry and leaped back against the wall, his crotch instantly wet.
"What the hell?!" The burly man was startled, nearly dropping his machete. Amidst the thick smoke, a disheveled "ghost" rushed out, holding a broken bowl. Her face was covered in soot, leaving only the whites of her eyes. In her hand, she clutched a crackling firecracker: "Give me back my life!"
"Ghost!" The tall, lanky man's legs went limp, and he collapsed to the ground. The pungent smell of urine and gunpowder from his crotch filled his nose. Although the burly man didn't wet his pants, he was frightened by the firecrackers in the "ghost's" hand and took three steps back, his machete clanging to the ground.
"Lady, spare us!" The tall, thin man suddenly knelt and kowtowed, his forehead banging against the bricks. "We were forced to come! It was Liu from the General's Mansion who sent us here!"
Shen Weiwan came out from behind the carriage, pinching her nose and fanning herself in disgust: "Hey, whose dog is this? It's not tied up properly and runs out to bite people?"
Chun Tao pulled out her messy hair, revealing her red face from trying to hold back laughter: "Miss, look at these two cowards, they've peed their pants!"
The strong man finally saw that the "ghost girl" was a fake. He was ashamed and angry and wanted to pick up the knife, but Chuntao stepped on his wrist and said, "You still want to fight? Who was it that shouted 'ghost girl' just now?"
The tall and thin man burst into tears: "Auntie, please spare me! We are just two people who make a living. Liu said that she would give us a hundred taels of silver to scare you..."
"Scare?" Shen Weiwan squatted down and poked the thin tall man's wet spot with her fingertips. "You call this scare? I think you want to kill someone, right?"
The strong man gritted his teeth and said, "We don't really want to kill you! We just want to...scare you sick..."
"Oh?" Chen Weiwan raised an eyebrow. "Then would you please come with me to the Ministry of Justice and explain this 'intimidation' to the Minister?" She winked at the driver. "Come, tie up these two 'cowards' tightly and report them to the Ministry of Justice."
The tall and thin man was so frightened that he said, "No, no, no! We confess! Liu also said that if this is done..."
"That's enough." Chen Weiwan interrupted him, taking out a handkerchief to wipe her fingers. "Chun Tao, hand over their knives and Zhang Laosan's portrait to the Ministry of Justice, and say..." She deliberately dragged out her words, "Just say that these two 'pants-wetting killers' were hired by Liu and wanted to give me a 'surprise'."
Chuntao forced herself to suppress her laughter and agreed, directing the driver to tie the two killers up like dumplings with hemp rope. The strong man tried to struggle, but Chuntao kicked him in the butt: "Be quiet! If you move again, I'll tell everyone in the street that you peed your pants!"
The onlookers had long been attracted by the sound of firecrackers. When they saw the two killers tied up, they immediately exploded:
"Oh my god! Isn't this the thug from the east side of the city? How did he become a killer?"
"You've already peed your pants before you even start. What a coward!"
"I heard it was hired by Liu? That old hag is still restless in jail!"
Amidst the laughter, Chen Weiwan got back on the carriage and said to Chuntao, "That's good now. Liu can be charged with another crime, 'attempted murder by hiring a killer.'"
"That's right," Chun Tao handed over a clean handkerchief, "that tall, skinny guy was so scared that his face turned green, and the sound of him wetting his pants was louder than a pig being slaughtered!"
When the carriage reached the corner, the Seventh Prince Xiao Yu came riding towards them. He pulled the reins when he saw Shen Weiwan's carriage and asked, "I heard you performed a 'ghost show' in West Alley?"
Shen Weiwan lifted the curtain and said with a smile: "Your Highness is really well-informed. He just helped my aunt to 'clean up' two useless 'men'."
Xiao Yu glanced at the hemp rope dangling in the carriage and raised an eyebrow. "The Ministry of Justice has received the news. I'm afraid Liu will be imprisoned for life this time." He paused, his tone tinged with laughter. "But I'm even more curious about how you disguised yourself as that 'female ghost'."
Chun Tao rushed to say, "Your Highness, you didn't see it! I smeared soot on my face, and my hair was made of tassels pulled from the portrait of the Kitchen God..."
"Chun Tao!" Shen Weiwan interrupted with a smile, "Don't tell His Highness everything."
Xiao Yu laughed heartily and handed over a string of candied haws: "A reward for your 'female ghost' makeup."
Shen Weiwan took the candied haws, the sour and sweet taste of the hawthorn melted on her tongue: "Thank you, Your Highness. But compared to this, I want to see the face of my aunt when she finds out that the killer has peed his pants."
"You'll see." A sly look flashed in Xiao Yu's eyes. "The Minister of Justice is my disciple. When he hears the case later, he will definitely take good care of Liu."
The carriage stopped in front of the general's mansion. As soon as Shen Weiwan stepped off the carriage, the old housekeeper hurried over: "Miss, there is news from Ciyun Temple! The second lady...the second lady smashed the Bodhisattva statue!"
"Oh?" Shen Weiwan raised an eyebrow, "She really has no time to spare."
"The abbot said if she doesn't stop, she'll be reported to the police and put in jail!" the old housekeeper said, wiping his sweat. "Now the whole nunnery is in turmoil because of her!"
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