Lin Wanrou suddenly collapsed on the straw pile, as if her bones had been pulled out. She suddenly covered her face and cried loudly, her snot and tears all over her face, dripping through her fingers onto her prison uniform: "I regret it! I shouldn't have listened to Shen Ruorou's nonsense! She said that as long as she poisoned you, she would get a thousand taels of silver from the general's mansion!"
"Oh?" Xiao Yu's eyes suddenly turned cold, and he slammed his folding fan shut, making a crisp sound against his palm, causing dust to fall from the beams. "What else did Chen Ruorou say? Tell me carefully, and I might be able to spare you half a basket of croton seeds."
Lin Wanrou, grasping at a straw, tumbled and scrambled to the railing, her forehead banging against the bars with a resounding thud. "She said...she said that as long as Chen Weiwan died, the Seventh Prince would be hers! She also said that Li Xiu from the Northwest Military Camp could get you a colorless and odorless poison that would kill you silently... She also said she'd peel off your skin and make a pigskin raft..."
Shen Weiwan and Xiao Yu exchanged glances, each seeing understanding in the other's eyes. It turned out that Shen Ruorou, exiled to the northwest, hadn't given up, secretly colluding with Lin Wanrou to poison her. Xiao Yu coldly addressed the nearby jailer, "Record these words in detail and send them to the northwest military camp. Let Shen Ruorou also taste the 'croton diet'. Increase the daily intake by five pounds, and let her reflect on her mistakes in the barracks toilet."
When leaving the clan residence, Shen Weiwan was holding the half bag of croton seeds handed to her by the guard. Suddenly, she remembered something and turned to ask Xiao Yu, the earthy smell of croton seeds still lingering on her nose: "Your Highness, do you think Lin Wanrou will die of overeating if she eats three pounds of croton seeds every day?"
Xiao Yu lifted the carriage curtain for her, his fingertips brushing against the pearl tassels in her hair. The oriental pearls on the tassels were cool and moist. "It's not like she'll die of stuffing," he leaned close to her ear, his warm breath brushing against her earlobe, causing her to shrink her neck subconsciously. "But I've had croton powder mixed into her daily brown rice. I'll ensure she doesn't have to leave the toilet for the next three months—and it'll help her lose weight, so she doesn't have to float on a pigskin raft anymore."
Chen Weiwan chuckled and got on the carriage. When the curtain fell, she saw the black iron gate of the clan residence gleaming coldly in the sunlight: "Your Highness's trick of 'croton mixed with rice' is really amazing. It's much more cruel than the croton soup I gave her before. I'm afraid the aroma of the beans will make her legs weak."
"She learned it all on her own," Xiao Yu pinched her cheek and smiled slyly. "Who dared to touch my people? I must let her know the consequences of messing with the little princess. From now on, she will have to avoid Croton when she sees it."
Three days later, the news that Lin Wanrou had failed in her poisoning attempt and was imprisoned at the Imperial Clan Court, where she was forced to drink croton seeds daily, spread like wildfire throughout the capital. Commoners crowded the alleys outside the Imperial Clan Court, waiting to see the familiar scene at noon: two jailers carrying a soft couch rushed into the toilet room, accompanied by Lin Wanrou's heartbreaking cries, louder than the sound of a pig being butchered. Some even composed a catchy jingle, which children clapped and sang:
"Lin Wanrou, a vicious person,
Drink three pots of croton laxative.
The thatched hut has become a bean sprout,
His crotch was soaked and he cried for his mother.
The pigskin raft didn't fly.
Draw a circle in the pit first!"
Chen Weiwan sat by the window on the second floor of the teahouse, listening to the children's clear singing below. She bit into a piece of candy Xiao Yu offered her, the sweet red bean paste melting on her tongue, the icing coating the corners of her mouth. She looked across the street at the closed gate of the Imperial Clan House, where occasional shrill cries could be heard. Suddenly, she turned to Xiao Yu beside her, her eyes sparkling, and asked, "Your Highness, who do you think will be next? The daughter of the Minister of Personnel who always sends you rose cakes? I heard she even implied at the poetry gathering yesterday that I'm uneducated."
Xiao Yu wiped the icing sugar from the corners of her mouth with a handkerchief. His eyes were gentle enough to evoke tears. His fingertips gently brushed her lips. "As you wish." He paused, tapping his folding fan against his palm to create a brisk rhythm. The jade pendant on the fan ribs shone with a hint of clear green. "But next time you try to cheat someone, I will personally give you croton seeds—and a basket of rotten soybeans. I guarantee she'll have diarrhea and three days of foul burping. Everyone in the capital will know she has a bad stomach."
Sunlight filtered through the carved window lattice, illuminating their clasped hands and filling the room with a sweet fragrance. Outside, the cicadas chirped loudly, sweeping the laughter in the teahouse and the distant wails from the Imperial Clan Court into the early summer breeze. The "deceitful couple," feared by the capital's villains, whispered about their next "surprise." Next to the crumbs of candy cake on the table lay a half-eaten croton seed—a special "souvenir" from Shen Weiwan. After all, in this vast capital, there was no shortage of blind clowns. Shen Weiwan and her husband, the prince who was obsessed with protecting his wife, possessed the patience and resources to turn every suicidal farce into a source of laughter for the entire capital.
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