Three days before the wedding, the door to the storeroom in the west wing of the General's Mansion stood open, and red-lacquered dowry boxes piled high on sandalwood shelves. The old housekeeper, leaning on his reading glasses, watched as Shen Weiwan directed servants to stuff things into the boxes. The more he watched, the more frightened he became. He saw her toss a packet of crimson powder into the box. On the paper package tied with hemp rope was the crooked inscription: "Western Region Seven-Star Pepper Powder."
"Miss!" the old butler slammed his cane. "Is that chili powder in your box?"
Without even looking up, Chen Weiwan threw in another bag of coarse powder: "That's right! Grandpa Butler, this is called 'self-defense dowry'," she patted the wall of the box, "If anyone messes with me in the future, I'll sprinkle this into his tea bowl and he'll cry for his parents on the spot!"
Chuntao squatted at the bottom of the box, spreading out red silk, and took the opportunity to stuff three fake straw snakes inside. The snake heads were wrapped with glowing firefly wings. "Young lady, you're right! Last month, that girl Lin Wanrou was playing tricks at the polo match. She was scared by these fake snakes and fell off her horse, and the candied fruit in her skirt spilled all over the floor!"
The old housekeeper's hand trembled, and the account book fell to the ground with a "clatter": "Then...then why is this whole box full of light yellow powder?"
"You don't understand!" Chen Weiwan raised the mutton-fat jade bottle and shook it, the powder inside rustling. "This is my special 'Beauty Itch'. I picked peach blossoms in March and ground them with nettle leaves. I'll add half a spoonful to the ladies' incense. In less than half a cup of tea, I guarantee they'll be scratched like monkeys at the banquet!"
As he spoke, Yuebai's figure flashed by, and Xiao Yu walked in, waving a folding fan. The Pisces pendant on his jade belt buckle shone softly in the sunlight. He glanced at the boxes labeled "Crony's Powder Itch Powder" scattered across the floor and raised an eyebrow. "Weiwan, I heard you prepared a 'surprise' dowry for me?"
Shen Weiwan's eyes lit up, and she dragged him to the largest vermilion lacquer box: "Your Highness, look!" The moment the lid of the box was opened, Xiao Yu was almost choked by the spicy smell that hit him in the face - on the left were ten packets of chili powder from different origins, from Erjingtiao in Sichuan to Qixing pepper from the Western Regions, and on the right were straw-woven fake snakes, wax poisonous insects, and several packets of mysterious powder wrapped in gold foil.
He silently picked up the paper package labeled "Croton Detoxification Powder": "Is this the surprise you were talking about?"
"That's right!" Shen Weiwan nodded vigorously, the pearl tassels on her bun dazzling people's eyes. "If Liu Ruolin dares to gossip again in the future, I will mix this into her rouge cream. I guarantee that she won't be able to get off the phoenix chariot at the palace banquet!"
Xiao Yu held his forehead and sighed: "I'm afraid I've married a mobile arsenal..."
"Your Highness is wise!" Shen Weiwan said proudly, with her hands on her hips. "That's called being prepared for any eventuality! By the way, I have another treasure for you!" She brought a small gilded box, inside of which was a lilac cloak with a crooked little pig embroidered on it. The pig's nose was specially embroidered in the shape of a chili pepper with red silk thread.
Xiao Yu unfolded his cloak, and discovered that it was adorned with a dozen fine cloth pockets, each bulging with something. "What's this?"
"It's an anti-assassin cloak!" Shen Weiwan pointed to the pockets and explained, "It's filled with chili powder. If an assassin attacks from behind, you just need to pull open the secret button—" She made a pulling gesture, "I guarantee that the assassin's face will be covered with blood and he will cry for his mother and grandma!"
The old housekeeper watched with dazzle, leaning against the porch pillar and panting. "My dear Miss... If the general knew about this, he would be very surprised to see you using your dowry box as a tool to deceive others..."
"My father will definitely praise me for being better than my teacher!" Shen Weiwan interrupted him and suddenly took out a brocade box from her sleeve, "Your Highness, this is the dowry for your 'pit husband'!"
Xiao Yu took a half step back cautiously: "Do you really want to trick me?"
"How could that be!" The brocade box opened, revealing a mutton-fat jade ring with the word "坑" (pit) engraved in a flamboyant style on the front. "This is the 'trick magic weapon'! Wear it and you can trick anyone you want. It's more effective than the Imperial Sword!"
Xiao Yu laughed and put the ring on his thumb. The jade was smooth, but it was engraved with a bold word: "I finally understand. From now on, the Seventh Prince's Mansion will have to set up a 'trick props storehouse'."
Before she finished speaking, a commotion erupted from the front yard. Chuntao stumbled in, the jasmine flowers in her hair askew. "Miss! Liu Ming, the nephew of Liu Shi, has sneaked into the mansion and is trying to sneak something dirty into your dowry box!"
Shen Weiwan sneered and took out a fake snake with reflective scales from the bottom of the box: "Just in time! Chuntao, throw this 'treasure' into his trouser pocket!"
A moment later, a pig-slaughtering scream was heard outside the yard: "Snake! There is a snake! And it glows!" Along with the sound of heavy objects falling to the ground, Liu Ming rolled and crawled out of the moon-shaped door, with the fake snake in his trouser pocket still swinging.
Xiao Yu looked at Shen Weiwan's eyes that were shining with a smile, helpless and doting: "Okay, okay, have you had enough fun? It's time to go to Xiefangyuan to pick out the veil."
Shen Weiwan followed him out and suddenly grabbed his sleeve: "Your Highness, I want to sew a layer of fine gauze inside the veil and stuff it with chili powder. When you lift the veil during the wedding ceremony -" She made a sneezing gesture, "I guarantee that all the noble ladies who want to see the joke will have their noses choked red!"
Xiao Yu pinched her cheek, rubbing his fingertips across the dimples of her smile: "You can do whatever you want, but you are not allowed to choke me."
"Don't worry!" Shen Weiwan smiled cunningly, "This princess knows what's going on, and she'll only choke the bad guys!"
The old butler watched the two walk away together, took out a handkerchief and wiped his sweat, "General... Miss's dowry is so great that it will make the whole capital laugh..."
On the wedding day, the wedding procession stretched from the General's Mansion to Zhuque Street. When the servants carrying the dowry passed through the market, the people were packed like sardines, pointing at the boxes and saying:
"Oh my god! Is it true that the box says 'one box of chili powder'?"
"Of course! And that box with a green snake on it and 'Two Boxes of Itch Powder' on the label!"
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