At three quarters past midnight, the morning mist hadn't yet dissipated, but Liu's pig-killing scream had already pierced the soaring eaves and brackets of the General's Mansion, startling the copper bells on the eaves with a clang. Chen Weiwan, however, stood on tiptoe with composure, her diamond-studded gold hairpin gesturing along the vermilion sedan chair curtain. The ninety-nine gold-embroidered phoenixes on her wedding dress shimmered with color as she moved, each feather gleaming with the unique pearlescent sheen of South China Sea brocade, brightening the cunning glint in her eyes.
Chun Tao stood aside, holding a celadon bowl of paste. Her shoulders trembled like sieves, and the velvet flowers on her temples quivered with laughter. "Miss, do you really want to write 'Congratulations to Auntie on receiving the exile package' on the sedan chair curtain? If the censors knew about it, they would probably report you!"
"What are you afraid of?" Chen Weiwan raised an eyebrow, and used a wolf-hair brush dipped in Hui ink to write a flying white on the gold-red paper. The fragrance of ink mixed with the moisture of morning dew filled the air. "Yesterday they held torches to burn my sedan chair carried by eight people. Today, I will let the whole capital see how 'glorious' it is for an escaped prisoner to ride in a sedan chair!" Before she finished speaking, the tip of the brush suddenly turned, and a fat pig with its teeth bared by the spiciness of the chili pepper jumped onto the paper. The pig's tail was still wrapped with a steaming bag of croton powder, and next to it was written in tiny calligraphy: "Contains a luxurious gift pack of croton powder, buy one get three free, no waiting after the expiration date~" After writing, she leaned forward and blew on the ink seriously, and her pearl earrings drew tiny silver arcs in the morning light.
The front yard was already a raging mess. Liu was pinned to the bluestone slab by four burly guards, her face swollen like a steamed bun straight from the oven—it was the itch powder Shen Weiwan had sprinkled on her yesterday. There were still rashes between her fingernails, like a madwoman who had just emerged from a hornet's nest. She cursed, "Shen Weiwan! You little bitch! Just try to touch me..."
"Of course I dare!" Shen Weiwan suddenly squatted down, her fingertips precisely hooked a strand of Liu's withered yellow hair, and with her other hand she shook the oilcloth bag. The red powder oozing out of the corner of the bag left a winding mark on the stone slab, "You can bribe the jailer of the West City Gate to escape from prison, so what other evil things can't you do? But..." She leaned close to Liu's ear, her warm breath wrapped in jasmine powder, "Do you want to relive the taste of eating croton powder and rotten pickles in prison?" As she spoke, she deliberately shook the oilcloth bag in front of Liu's eyes, scaring her so much that her pupils suddenly shrank and the corners of her mouth twitched uncontrollably.
Shen Ruorou, hiding behind a Taihu rock, suddenly leaped to her feet, her patched prison uniform flapping in the morning breeze. A fake straw snake, its head adorned with a reflective mica flake, hissed and slid halfway out of her sleeve. "I'll fight you!" she screamed, lunging forward. Chuntao swung a nine-section straw rope, which precisely caught her ankle. She fell to the brick floor with a thud, like a fish turned upside down. The silver hairpins scattered from her hair rolled three feet away, and the back of her neck revealed a red mark left by the fake snake's tail, as if she had been gnawed by a vicious dog.
"Just in time!" Shen Weiwan snapped her fingers, and four maids in blue gowns rushed in like a whirlwind, carrying an empty bridal sedan chair. The wedding silk from yesterday was still draped on the poles. Liu and Shen Ruoruo kicked and cursed, their nails scratching the curtains with a harsh sound, but they were forced into the sedan chair because of the sheer number of people and the quick movements. The coarse linen of Shen Ruoruo's prison uniform rubbed against the curtains, leaving foot-long threads, like the messy silk of a spider, a comical contrast to the festive red silk outside the sedan.
"Draw the curtain tight!" Chen Weiwan stuffed a bulging oil-paper bag into the sedan chair through the window, with a sly smile and a dimple on her face, "Enjoy it on the way~" She turned and winked at the sedan bearers, and the cinnabar mole at the end of her eye trembled with the movement: "Remember to go around Zhuque Street, Lihua Lane, and..." She deliberately emphasized her tone, "Three laps around the gate of Liu's old house! The sedan chair bell must be rung louder than the funeral bell of the City God Temple!" Her eyes were like a little fox that had stolen some sesame oil, and even the tip of her tail was full of pride.
The old butler, leaning on a jujube wood cane, came tremblingly over. He wiped the cold sweat off his face as he watched the sedan chair departing, his beard trembling like a reed in the autumn wind. "My lady, if word of this gets to the throne room..."
"Don't worry!" Chen Weiwan shook the mutton-fat jade "scam token" at her waist. The cute little pig relief on the jade token seemed to be laughing. "Your Highness has already sent someone to send a letter to the Jingzhao Yin Mansion. Besides..." She moved closer to the old housekeeper, and her eyelashes cast fan-shaped shadows under her eyes as she lowered her voice. "Do you think that Uncle Wang selling candied haws at the end of the street, Blind Li the storyteller at the alley, and the group of children singing tongue twisters just happened to pass by?" After she finished speaking, she blinked mischievously, making the old housekeeper laugh and cry.
Half an hour later, the capital city was in an uproar. A sedan chair covered with mocking slogans was careening across the bluestone road. The large gold-sprinkled characters "Congratulations, Auntie, for receiving the exile package" were particularly dazzling in the sunlight, and the portrait of a fat pig crying in pain next to it made the people laugh. The curtain of the sedan chair was twisted and distorted by the people inside. Faint cries of "Let me out" could be heard, mixed with intermittent sneezes. People on the street chased after it, holding up their newly bought sugar paintings. The sugar threads drew crystal arcs in the wind, and the children clapped their hands and sang in unison:
"The prison escapee, riding in a sedan chair,
I walked around the city three times and lost all my face.
She came to make trouble at the daughter's wedding.
I ended up being tricked into becoming a fool!
In front of the Liu family's old house, the white-haired old servant held the sour plum soup with his hands shaking violently. He watched helplessly as his master got hit on the head and bled in the sedan chair, and the dark brown soup splashed on the doorpost engraved with lotus flowers: "This is not a sedan chair, it's clearly a prison car for retribution in this life!" The voice was full of despair, which attracted the guys from the silk shop next door to look in and forgot to count the beads on the abacus.
As the sedan passed Zuixianlou for the third time, the carved window on the second floor creaked open. Xiao Yu leaned out, waving a folding fan painted with ink bamboo. His dark dress swept past the gilded window lattice, and the Hetian jade Pisces pendant adorned with a jade belt buckle shone softly in the sunlight. He happened to see Chen Weiwan astride a red horse, waving a colorful flag covered in doggerel, the word "keng" embroidered on the corner fluttering in the wind. "Your Highness! Come and give a tip for your aunt's 'tour performance'!"
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