In the bridal chamber, ablaze with red candles, the heat rising from the sandalwood beams, accompanied by tumultuous laughter, threatened to tear the carved ceiling apart. Shen Weiwan sat upright on the bridal bed covered in mandarin duck brocade, her fingertips twisting the oil-paper bag through the satin of her sleeves—inside was the "Beauty Itch" she had ground last night. It consisted of Southern Barbarian Itch Grass mixed with Seven-Star Chili Powder from the Western Regions. The powder was as fine as flying sand from Dunhuang, and even through the paper bag, she could smell its subtle, pungent aroma, making her nose itch.
"The bride is well hidden!" From outside the door came the hoarse voice of the son of the Minister of Personnel, "Seventh Prince, why don't you lift the veil? Aren't you embarrassed yourself first?"
Xiao Yu stood beside the bed, neither laughing nor crying, the Pisces pendant on his jade belt buckle twitching gently with his breath. Just as he raised his fingertips to touch the veil tassel, there was a loud bang, and the carved wooden door was smashed open. Three or five drunken young men squeezed in, arm in arm, their fists of peanuts and longans tumbling to the floor. The leading Hanlin editor burped, squinting his eyes as he surveyed the bridal bed: "Let's see how much of a bride there is—"
Before she finished speaking, Shen Weiwan calculated the light and shadow reflected by the red candle, and when the veil was lifted, she suddenly stood up and raised her hand! Pink powder flew into the air like flying flowers in Dunhuang, drawing a strange arc in the candlelight, and accurately pounced on the faces of the three unlucky guys in the front row.
"A-choo! A-choo—!"
"What the hell is that? It's choking me to death!"
The guests in the front row burst into tears, leaving large stains on the fronts of their brocade robes. The young master of the Ministry of Personnel rubbed his itchy eyes and screamed, his once smooth face covered in red pimples, as if he had just rolled out of a beehive. He stumbled and knocked over a candlestick, sending the flames soaring high that the nearby Hanlin editor fled in panic.
"Try my special 'happy powder'!" Shen Weiwan shook the empty oil-paper bag, her voice full of laughter under the veil, "Eating it can make people so happy that they sneeze, isn't it good?" When she shook her wrist, the ninety-nine golden phoenixes on her wedding dress swept across the overturned candlestick, startling the flames and trembling, illuminating the whole room with red.
Xiao Yu quickly bolted the door. Turning around, he saw the Imperial Academy editor scratching his head and trying to squeeze through the crack, his robe still stained with the longan he had just spilled. He held his forehead in his hand helplessly. "You've turned my wedding night into a biochemical battlefield in the mass graves west of the city."
Half an hour later, the bridal chamber finally became so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. As Chuntao stepped over the threshold, carrying the copper basin, the hot water sloshed over the edge, scalding her so hard she jumped. She saw Shen Weiwan sitting at her dressing table, removing the pearls from her wedding gown. Twelve gold-embroidered wedding gowns covered the bed, their tinkling sound like pearls falling on jade plates.
"Miss, your itching powder is too overbearing!" Chuntao sneezed repeatedly as she leaned in closer. "When Master Li left the mansion, his face was swollen like a steamed bun. His father chased him with a dragon-headed cane and beat him, shouting 'Mom, save me!' all over the street!"
"Of course." Without even looking up, Chen Weiwan pinched a pigeon egg-sized pearl with her fingertips. "Southern Barbarian Itch Grass combined with Western Regions chili peppers is enough to keep you itchy for three days and three nights." She suddenly pulled out another packet of powder from the inner compartment of her dressing table. "Everyone who sees it gets a share" was scribbled on the oil-paper packet. "Have the servants slip this into the collars of those who ran slower just now—we don't want to do business at a loss."
Chun Tao sneezed again as she took the paper package, tears welling up in her eyes: "Miss, have you even prepared a return gift?"
"That's it." Shen Weiwan nodded her chin toward the vermilion lacquer food box in the corner, its gilded lock glowing red in the candlelight. Chuntao gasped when she opened it—twelve neatly arranged spicy rice cakes with crooked piglets printed on them, their bright red surfaces slicked with chili oil. The mere smell of it was enough to make your throat constrict.
"For those noble ladies who want to make trouble in the bridal chamber." Chen Weiwan raised an eyebrow, the pearl tassels on the phoenix crown dazzling people. "I guarantee that their tongues will be numb from the spiciness after taking a bite, and they won't dare to smile fakely for three months - so that they don't have to pretend to see me."
The next morning, the general's gatekeeper was nearly buried under invitations. Chuntao rushed into the inner chamber, clutching a thick stack of gilded invitations. Her hairpins tucked behind her ears, her feet still wet with dew from the threshold, "Miss! Every prominent residence in the capital has sent invitations! The Grand Tutor's wife sent ten pounds of spicy peanuts, and the Minister of Works' daughter sent twenty pounds of Western Region Seven-Star Peppercorns!"
Chen Weiwan picked up a piece of paper inlaid with gold thread. A faint peppery aroma wafted from her as she unfolded it. On it was the handwritten calligraphy of Miss Gongbu: "Having heard of the Seventh Imperial Concubine's bridal chamber skills, I seek the secret recipe for 'Happy Powder'. I'm enclosing twenty pounds of Western Region Seven-Star Peppercorns. I beg for your guidance. Also: My brother was injured by itching powder yesterday. I beg for an antidote." She laughed so hard she nearly fell off the mother-of-pearl-inlaid couch. "Looks like my 'School of Tricksters' will have to add a crash course in itching powder!"
As he spoke, the curtains moved slightly, and Xiao Yu entered, holding a bright yellow memorial in his hand. His jade-colored boots rolled over the remaining longan shells on the ground. "Your Majesty, your father wants you to come into the palace."
"Ah?" Shen Weiwan was so shocked that the post fell to the ground, and her pearl earrings jingled. "The emperor also wants to taste my 'happy powder'?"
"Of course it was a joke." Xiao Yu walked up to her, scratched the tip of her nose with his fingertips, and rubbed the pearl powder on her face that she had not yet removed. "But my father wrote in the memorial that if there are any ignorant people doing bad things at the palace banquet again, you will be asked to carry the powder bag and 'uphold justice' - and he even drew a smiley face on it." He said this with a smile in the corner of his eyes, and it was obvious that he was having a hard time holding back his smile.
As they were talking, they heard the sound of children's nursery rhymes outside the window. The tune was a newly learned jingle, and it was played in a fast tempo:
"The bride sprinkles powder and makes trouble in the bridal chamber,
The guests were so frightened that they called out to their parents.
Seventh Prince, protect your wife!
The bridal chamber has become a place of joy!
Shen Weiwan was so happy when she heard this that she suddenly jumped up: "By the way, Your Highness, I'm still short of a sample for my newly developed 'anti-wolf pepper powder'..."
"Stop!" Xiao Yu waved his hand quickly, rubbing his chin with his fingertips, "My beard was tangled yesterday by the 'happy powder', and it took me three cans of pine oil to comb it out." He took out a brocade box from his sleeve, and the silver wire pattern on it gleamed in the morning light.
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