At three o'clock in the morning, sunlight streamed through the carved window lattices, casting coin-shaped specks of light on the golden brick floor of Concubine Shu's palace. The ambergris wafting from the incense burner mixed with the aroma of braised eggs, making Concubine Liu's eyebrows twitch. When Shen Weiwan swung into the main hall carrying a half-person-high bamboo basket, the rim still stained with the sauce from last night's braised eggs, the shiny, slippery tea eggs jingled in the basket.
"Chen Weiwan!" Concubine Liu turned around suddenly, and her scarlet gold and kingfisher hairpin swept across the mirror table, knocking her rouge box to the ground with a clang. "You are late for half an hour again. Do you think my words are just wind in your ears?" The pearl necklace on her cuffs trembled like sieve chaff, and her nails dyed red by the juice of marigolds were almost embedded in the brocade handkerchief.
"Oh, I met a butterfly with wings inlaid with gold on the road." Chen Weiwan put the bamboo basket on the pearwood table, and the aroma of stewed food spread instantly. "Sister, smell it quickly. These are the five-spice eggs that the chef of the palace has just stewed. I brought twenty of them specially for you. You can learn the palace rules while eating them." The tea eggs in the basket were covered with dark brown stewed sauce, and the egg whites that seeped out of the cracks were shiny with oil.
Lady Liu looked at the greasy eggs in the basket, her face turning blue with anger, as if she had just fished them out of a jar of soy sauce: "Who wants to eat your rotten eggs! If you dare to make trouble again today, I will..."
"So what?" Chen Weiwan tilted her head, silver bells tinkling in her hair, and the pearl pendants on her temples brushed the edge of the bamboo basket. "Could it be that sister wants to imitate a hen and peck people with her phoenix crown?" She deliberately poked into the basket, causing the tea eggs to shake even more happily, and a few drops of marinade splashed onto the table.
Concubine Liu was choked and stomped her embroidered shoes and said, "You...you are simply unreasonable!" She raised her hand and grabbed Chen Weiwan, her nails glowing dangerously red in the sunlight.
Shen Weiwan had already calculated her movements, and suddenly pointed at the hem of Liu Guiren's pomegranate red skirt and screamed: "Ah! There are dancing insects on my sister's skirt!"
"Ah!" Concubine Liu jumped three feet high in fright. Her eight-piece silk skirt swept over the teacup on the table, and blue and white porcelain fragments mixed with tea splashed onto the gold bricks. She spun in circles, flapping her skirt, and the hairpins in her bun swung like rattles, and the clatter of pearls and jade became a chaotic mess. "Where? Get out! Quick!"
At that moment, Shen Weiwan pulled a carved wooden whistle from her sleeve. The bamboo grain still stained the spices she had prepared the night before. She brought it to her lips and blew fiercely—a sharp "click" suddenly echoed throughout the main hall, the tail note dragging out louder than the chicken vendors in the West Market!
"Huh?" Chen Weiwan widened her eyes, pretending to have just discovered a new world, "Sister, why are you crowing like a rooster? Could it be the 'crowing rooster' that Concubine Shu keeps in the palace?" She pointed at Concubine Liu, and the golden phoenix on her cuffs rose up with her movement, sweeping across the edge of the bamboo basket.
The maids and eunuchs in the main hall froze at first, then their shoulders trembled like leaves in the autumn wind. One young eunuch couldn't help but burst out laughing, but was immediately frightened by a glare from Concubine Liu. He fell to his knees, banging his forehead on the gold bricks, and exclaimed, "Damn you! I didn't hear a thing..." But his trembling back betrayed the fact that he was trying to suppress his laughter.
Concubine Liu froze in place, her face turning from red to purple, just like a ripe purple eggplant: "You...you deceived me with the whistle!" She pointed at the bamboo whistle faintly visible in Shen Weiwan's sleeve, her voice trembling.
"I didn't." Shen Weiwan hid the whistle behind her back, but her fingertips deliberately revealed the bamboo pattern. "It was obviously my sister who called it." She turned her head to look at the palace maid holding tea next to her. "Did you hear it? The noble sister just called out loudly."
The maid lowered her head and twisted her handkerchief, her voice trembling with choking: "Slave...slave's hearing is not good..."
Concubine Liu was so angry that she was shaking all over, and the pearl necklace on her chest jingled. At this time, Concubine Shu came out of the inner room with a palace maid. Seeing the mess on the floor and Concubine Liu's purple face, she couldn't help laughing, and the Nine Phoenix Crown on her head shook. "Alright, alright, Weiwan, stop making trouble and apologize to your sister."
"Oh." Shen Weiwan responded, and when no one was paying attention, she stuffed a peeled tea egg into Liu Guiren's skirt pocket. The egg white was still stained with marinade: "Sister, don't be angry. Eat an egg to calm down. This egg is marinated with the wine that the imperial concubine got drunk."
Concubine Liu felt her skirt pocket sink, and when she pulled out the sticky tea egg, she nearly fainted from anger. The surrounding virtuous concubines could no longer contain themselves, panting as they leaned against the carved pillars, their peony hairpins twisted with laughter: "The Seventh Concubine's trick... is truly unprecedented and will never be repeated!"
Shen Weiwan seized the opportunity to snatch up the empty basket and slip out of Concubine Shu's palace. As she reached the Chuihua Gate, she ran into Xiao Yu. He was dressed in dark casual attire, the jade pendant at his waist gleaming softly in the sunlight. He looked at the empty basket in her hand and raised an eyebrow: "Going to the harem again to spread 'egg culture'?"
"No way!" Shen Weiwan handed him the bamboo whistle hidden in her sleeve. There was a crooked chicken engraved on the whistle. "I just asked Concubine Liu to imitate the sound of a chicken to liven up the atmosphere."
Xiao Yu took the whistle, feeling both amused and embarrassed, his fingertips rubbing against the bamboo veins. "When the Emperor heard about this, he laughed so hard he spit his breakfast bird's nest porridge all over the memorial. He even said he'd reward you with a 'golden whistle.'" He paused, brushing away her wind-torn hair. "But don't go too far next time. After all, Concubine Shu is Mother's sister."
"I know!" Shen Weiwan stuck out her tongue and took out an oil-paper bag from the bottom of the basket. "By the way, Your Highness, do you dare to try the newly made chili-flavored tea eggs?"
As they were talking, Chuntao came running over, breathless, the velvet flowers on her temples tilted to the back of her head, waving a greasy piece of oil paper in her hand: "Miss! The storyteller in the West Market has come up with a new story!"
There was a jingle written in charcoal on the oil paper, and at the end there was a little man blowing a whistle:
"The imperial concubine brought eggs into the harem,
The green tea nobleman imitates the crowing of a rooster,
The whistle blew,
The maids in the hall were all bent over with laughter!
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