The four servants struggled mightily to pry open the heavy bluestone slab. Under the slab, they found a three-foot-square pit, and inside lay a rusty iron box, about the size of a palm, with the word "Chen" vaguely engraved on it.
"Open it, open it!" Shen Weiwan rubbed her hands, her eyes shining like a greedy cat seeing a candy cake.
The servants used a crowbar to pry open the iron box. Inside, there were no glittering gold ingots or glittering jewelry, only an old book wrapped in thick oil paper. Shen Weiwan curled her lips in disappointment, but still took the book out. On the oil paper were five large characters written in cinnabar: "Secret Records of the General's Mansion's Pranks," with a grinning little man drawn next to it.
"The Secret Record of Pranks?" Chun Tao tilted her head to look at it. "What kind of book is this?"
Chen Weiwan, curious, flipped open the oil-paper. Inside was a booklet bound in mulberry paper, each page covered in crooked drawings and even crooked writing. She flipped to the first page, which showed a small figure holding a small bottle, pouring red powder into the keyhole of a door. Written next to it in cinnabar:
"First move: Chili throat lock. Take dried red chili peppers, grind them into a fine powder, and pour it into the keyhole when the person is not paying attention. Be careful of the wind direction when using it to avoid accidentally injuring yourself. Effect: The person will cough uncontrollably and will not dare to open the door for three days."
"Puff!" Shen Weiwan looked at the picture and suddenly laughed out loud, clapping the pages of the book. "I've used this trick before! Last time Liu locked the storehouse, I blocked the keyhole with chili powder, and it made her cough like a drake!"
Chuntao came over to look at it, pointing at the picture and exclaiming, "Miss, it's true! That time you took half a jar of chili powder from the kitchen and the cook chased you for three blocks!"
The old butler leaned closer on his cane, squinting his eyes as he examined it for a long moment. Suddenly, he slapped his thigh, his beard trembling. "This... this is the old general's handwriting! He always said he wanted to write a 'self-defense manual', but I didn't expect it to be this!"
Shen Weiwan laughed so hard that she fell backwards. She turned to the second page. There was a picture of a little man sprinkling white powder into a teacup, and next to it was written:
Second Method: Croton Root Penetrates the Intestines. Take a few croton seeds, grind them into powder, and mix them into tea. Be careful with the dosage; overdose can be fatal. Effect: Within half a day, the user will experience a series of farts and diarrhea. It's a great product for home, travel, or to prank enemies.
"Hahaha!" Shen Weiwan laughed so hard that she slapped the table, shaking the stone tablet next to her. "The Empress Dowager has used this trick before! The last time she punished Concubine Wu, she used croton powder! It turns out my grandfather invented it a long time ago!"
Xiao Yu arrived at the courtyard at some point, still holding a military book in his hand. Seeing Shen Weiwan laughing so hard while holding the tattered book, he couldn't help but come over. He picked up the book, raised an eyebrow and looked at the pictures on it:
"'Chili powder keyhole'? 'Croton tea'? And this 'Itching grass stuffing clothes' trick—grind itching grass into crumbs and sew them into clothes, making people scratch their ears and cheeks with itchiness... Weiwan, have you used all of these tricks?"
Shen Weiwan stuck out her tongue, snatched the book and turned to the back: "That's it! Don't you see whose granddaughter I am!" She turned to the last page and saw a few lines of words written with a brush. Although the strokes were crooked, they revealed a boldness:
"My son, I know you are honest and straightforward. I'm afraid you might be schemed against after you enter the government, so I've left you this 'Secret Book of Tricks'. It's not meant to teach you how to harm others, but it's meant to teach you how to protect yourself. Remember: you shouldn't try to trick others, but you must be prepared to be tricked. If you encounter a bad guy, follow this guide and he'll be left in a state of panic, helpless and fleeing. Father."
"I see!" Shen Weiwan slammed the table and stood up, shaking the tree so much that a few leaves fell off. "I was wondering why I was born to cheat people. It seems it's inherited from my ancestors! My grandfather is such a wonderful person!"
The old housekeeper looked at the book, then looked at Shen Weiwan, and suddenly tears streamed down his face: "Old General, oh, old General, you said that you left a 'treasure' for the young lady. It turns out that this is the 'treasure'..."
The news quickly reached the palace. The emperor was in his study reviewing memorials. Upon hearing Li Zhong's report, he laughed so hard that he dropped his red brush, and ink splattered all over the bright yellow memorial.
"Hahahaha!" The emperor slammed the table, his beard quivering with laughter. "So Wan'er's skill in tricking people is inherited from her ancestors! Her grandfather even left her a secret manual? Quick! Tell her to bring me that 'Secret Book of Pranks'. I want to copy a copy myself! From now on, if any ministers displease me, I'll use the tricks in it to punish them!"
Li Zhong's face flushed from trying to suppress his laughter. He bowed and said, "Your Majesty, this...isn't it inappropriate?"
"What's wrong with that?" the emperor glared. "I'm the Son of Heaven. What's wrong with learning some tricks to protect myself? Go!"
When Shen Weiwan received the imperial edict, she and Xiao Yu were studying the "Mustard Bun" moves in the secret record.
"Father wants to read it too?" She blinked and handed the book to Xiao Yu, "Will you give it to me?"
Xiao Yu shook his head helplessly: "If you don't give it to me, my father will crush the threshold of the general's mansion."
Shen Weiwan shrugged and asked Chuntao to pack up her schoolbag: "Okay, but you have to let father copy it and return it to me quickly. This is a family heirloom!"
A few days later, the book was returned from the palace with a few more lines of comments from the emperor.
Next to the "Chili Pepper Keyhole" was written: 'This trick is very good! I tried it, and Li Zhong coughed for three days!'
Next to the "croton tea" was written: "Use with caution. I gave the Taifu too much last time, and he took half a month off!"
Shen Weiwan looked at the comments and laughed so hard that she couldn't straighten her waist: "Your father is even more naughty than me!"
Xiao Yu held his forehead and said, "I finally understand. There is not a single normal person in your Shen family."
From then on, a new legend spread in the capital: the eldest daughter of the General's Mansion dug out the ancestral "Secret Book of Pranks" from the ancestral tomb. It was full of idiotic tricks, and even the emperor had secretly learned them. The storyteller in the West Market made up a new story about it, telling it with great enthusiasm:
"There's something strange going on in the General's Mansion. The young lady found a secret book by digging up a grave.
There are a lot of tricks to play tricks on people, peppers and crotons are all used.
The emperor was so excited after hearing this that he borrowed the manuscript and copied it with great joy.
From then on, the court was filled with interesting things, and the ministers trembled when they saw them.
Where did this record come from? It's just a joke from my great grandfather!
Shen Weiwan listened to the ballads on the street and solemnly placed the "Secret Record of Pranks" on the bookshelf in her boudoir, next to her father's treasure map. She looked at her grandfather's crooked handwriting on the book and suddenly had a bold idea.
"Your Highness," she turned to look at Xiao Yu, who was reading a military book, with a cunning glint in her eyes, "How about we open a 'School of Tricks'? We'll use this secret record as the textbook, and I guarantee that all the noble ladies in the capital will sign up!"
Xiao Yu put down the military book and smiled helplessly: "As long as you are happy. But the tuition fee is a basket of chili powder and three pounds of croton seeds."
Shen Weiwan's eyes curved in a smile, the silver bells in her hair tinkling. She knew that with this ancestral "Secret Book of Pranks," her path to "trickery" in the Dasheng Dynasty would become increasingly broad and more interesting. Those who had bullied her in the past should beware—after all, she was now a master of trickery, empowered by this "secret book" passed down from her ancestors!
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
