The empty courtyard east of the General's Mansion has recently become the capital's latest internet-famous check-in spot. A crooked cypress sign hangs above the vermilion-lacquered gate, reportedly carved by Shen Weiwan herself. The five characters "Weiwan's College of Cheating" are written in gold lacquer, with the character "knock" adorned with a playful tail. Next to it, a smiling face with its tongue sticking out, ink dripping from the corners of its mouth, looks like a child who's just finished a prank. Shen Weiwan stood at the doorway, her hands on her hips, watching the craftsmen hang up the second sign. Her almond-shaped eyes narrowed into crescents as she smiled. "Make sure the words are big enough! 'Tuition fee: 10 taels per semester. Guaranteed instruction until you learn—anyone who refuses a refund is a punk!'"
Chuntao followed behind, clutching the gilded account book, her lake-blue skirt brushing the moss on the steps. "Miss," she said, "the other day, Lord Wang from the Censorate passed by and stared at the sign for a full half-cup of tea." She lowered her voice, twisting the tassel of the account book with her fingertips. "You're not afraid of being accused of 'disturbing public morals'?"
"Well, then," Chen Weiwan raised an eyebrow, the glazed hairpin shimmering against her temples. She reached into her sleeve pocket and pulled out an oil-paper bag. "Yesterday, I put three grams of Sichuan chili powder into the Imperial Censor's 'Guide to Preventing Tricks'. This morning, I heard he sneezed thirty times in a row during the morning court session, and his tears and snot covered the entire court." She shook the oil-paper bag, and the bright red powder inside rustled. "Now, even his sneezes send sparks flying, like a walking firecracker."
Before he could finish his words, the sound of a sedan jolting from the street corner was heard. A small, blue-wool sedan suddenly stopped in front of the door, the curtains swung open, and the Taifu's wife, treading on her three-inch golden lotus feet, rushed down, waving a ten-liang silver note in her hand, her pearl headband dangling askew. "Wan'er! Save the first seat for me!"
Chen Weiwan quickly took the banknote and stuffed it into Chuntao's arms, smiling so hard that her teeth were not visible: "Not everyone has this blessing, Madam Taifu! The first one to be admitted will receive a private lesson in the 'Chili Powder Locking Eye Technique'!"
"My dear Wan'er!" Madam Taifu grabbed her hand, her jade bracelet jingling. "My stingy son has deducted 30% of my monthly allowance again. Quick, teach me how to deal with him!"
Shen Weiwan leaned close to her ear and deliberately lowered her voice: "This trick is guaranteed to work - while he's taking a nap, sprinkle half a spoonful of chili powder on the keyhole of the study door. When he sneezes when he's reaching for the key in the evening, the key will definitely fall into the cracks between the bricks." She blinked, and gestured with her fingertips as if digging a hole. "Then you can hold the account book and cry poor, saying that you're so angry that your heart hurts. I guarantee he'll double the money next month."
The Taifu's wife's eyes lit up when she heard this, and she dragged her towards the courtyard, "Come on! Go to the classroom now! I have to fill three pages with notes!"
The courtyard was paved with blue bricks, and in the center stood eight rosewood tables. Twelve cartoons hung on the walls, ranging from "Wu Gu Qing Hands Trick Aunt" to "Croton Laxatives Treat Scumbag Relatives," all depicting Chen Weiwan's "real life stories of deception" painted with rouge and gouache. The first class was about "Fishing with Fake Accounts." She leaped onto the podium, waving a doodle-covered account book, her mutton-fat jade armor clacking against the rice paper: "Watch out, everyone! To deal with the accountant who embezzled money, all you need is a wolf-hair brush—"
She dipped the ink in thick ink and added a horizontal, curved hook to the vertical hook of the "ten" in "ten taels of expenditure," instantly transforming it into the character "hundred." "Then, wet the corner of the paper with overnight tea, use scissors to trim the marks left by mice, and finally, insert a piece of camphor leaf into the account book." Chen Weiwan held the revised account book up to the sunlight, the tea stains on the pages gleaming faintly. "By the time the accountant finds it, I guarantee he won't be able to tell the difference and will have to obediently fill in the blanks!"
The Prime Minister's wife in the front row slammed her hands on the table. "Brilliant! My accountant always tampered with the cosmetics money. I'll use this trick next time!"
"What if we meet someone who refuses to admit his mistake?" Mrs. Li in the back row raised her hand and asked, her handkerchief wrinkled.
Chen Weiwan grinned, revealing her pointed little fangs. "Use the second trick—the 'torture trick'!" She took out an embroidery needle and gestured with her fingertips, "Make a shallow cut in the tiger's mouth. As soon as the blood seeps out, press it on the account book and cry and say that you're so angry that you've vomited blood." She suddenly lowered her voice, a cunning flash in her eyes, "If the other party still refuses to talk back, sprinkle some croton powder in his tea—"
"Puff—" Madam Taifu laughed so hard she nearly threw her jade earrings out. "That's a great idea! My son is terrified of blood. I'll use croton powder to 'clear his stomach' later!"
Amidst the bustle, a cough echoed from the moonlit gate. Xiao Yu leaned against the carved doorframe, the silver cloud patterns on his dark brocade robe shimmering in the sunlight. He twirled a mutton-fat jade ring in his hand. "So the dean of our 'School of Tricksters' is teaching a class?"
Shen Weiwan's eyes lit up, she jumped off the podium, grabbed his sleeve and dragged him onto the stage: "Your Highness, you're here just in time! We need a model to be 'tricked'!" She pressed Xiao Yu onto the armchair and clapped her hands to the students below, "Watch out! This high-level 'honey trap' -"
She suddenly tiptoed closer to Xiao Yu, her fingertips poking at the buttons on his chest, and her voice was so sweet that it was sickening: "Your Highness~ I heard that the white fox fur coat in your storeroom is newly inlaid with pearls?"
Xiao Yu raised his eyebrows in agreement, a smile brimming in his eyes: "Madam, why are you asking this?"
"I'm afraid of the cold~" Shen Weiwan twisted her waist, the pearl hairpin in her hair jingling, "If Your Highness doesn't give it to me, I will...write about you talking in your sleep last night and calling 'Weiwan Little Sweetie' on flyers and spread them all over the West Market!"
The whole room erupted in laughter. Madam Taifu slapped her thigh with laughter: "This trick is amazing! I'll use this trick to deal with Taifu when I get back!" Xiao Yu's shoulders trembled from trying to hold back his laughter. He pulled a gilded key from his sleeve pocket and stuffed it into her hand: "Here, here, the keys to all the warehouses in the mansion are yours!"
When the bell rang, the students happily left, clutching their hand-painted copies of "The Secret of Tricking People." Chun Tao, clutching the account book, grinned from ear to ear: "Miss! We've already collected three hundred and twenty taels on the first day of class! And the maid from the Empress Dowager's palace sent a note, saying she's coming for a trial class!"
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