Concubine Liu was speechless, her face turning from red to blue, and then to white. She couldn't say that when she stuffed cotton into her belly to fake pregnancy, she accidentally stuffed the fake snake that Shen Weiwan had given her into it as well, right? Wouldn't that confirm the accusation of "not having a good brain"?
Just then, the Empress Dowager arrived. Leaning on her dragon-headed cane, she saw the fake snake on the tray and burst into laughter, slapping her thigh. Her armor jingled against the rosewood armrests. "Wan'er! Even more troublesome than I was back then!" She pointed at Concubine Liu, the pearl tassels on her phoenix coronet swaying violently. "Drag her away! Make her wash the Seventh Prince's wife's diapers for three months first, so she can learn how to care for a real pregnant woman!"
Concubine Liu was still screaming as she was dragged away, but her voice was quickly drowned out by the laughter coming from the direction of the Imperial Hospital. Imperial Physician Li, while investigating the mechanism of the fake snake, had accidentally triggered a button on the snake's head. The serpent suddenly hissed and sprang half a foot high, startling the imperial physicians who were writing medical records and sending them leaping out of the windows. The Chuanbei Loquat Paste and Huanglian Shangqing Pills on the medicine cabinet tumbled to the floor, their brownish-yellow liquid spilling all over the ground.
"Hahaha!" The emperor laughed so hard that his robe almost slipped down to his elbows. "The Imperial Hospital has been raided by a fake snake!"
Shen Weiwan watched the farce end and secretly made a "yeah" gesture to Xiao Yu beside her. The latter pinched her cheek helplessly and whispered: "Don't scare people with these things next time. What if you shock the fetus?"
"I know, I know!" Shen Weiwan stuck out her tongue and suddenly pointed in the direction of the Imperial Hospital, "But listen, is Doctor Li crying out of fear?"
At this time, Chuntao hurried over, holding an oil-paper package with a steaming hot chili cake in it: "Miss, the Queen Mother asked the kitchen to make your favorite snack, saying it will calm you down."
Shen Weiwan's eyes lit up, she took the chili cake and took a big bite, it was so spicy that she stuck out her tongue and tears were about to come out: "The Queen Mother still loves me! It's much better than some people who just nag me." She glanced at Xiao Yu, who handed her the tea helplessly.
Xiao Yu looked at his wife's lips, reddened by the spiciness, then at her chubby belly, and couldn't help but smile. He knew that as long as Chen Weiwan was around, the "social death scene" in the Forbidden City would never stop. And he could only willingly be her "protection specialist" and clean up the mess she left behind - for example, now he had to find a way to compensate for the broken medicine bottles in the Imperial Hospital.
"Let's go," Xiao Yu helped Shen Weiwan walk out of the palace, "Let's go back to the mansion. If you don't leave now, the little idiot in your stomach will laugh out loud."
"Wait!" Shen Weiwan suddenly stopped, pulled his sleeve and pointed in the direction of the Imperial Hospital, "I seem to hear Doctor Li crying and shouting 'snake bites butt'!"
Xiao Yu stuffed her into the sedan chair, feeling both amused and helpless: "You were hallucinating."
The two chatted and laughed as they boarded the sedan chair, their voices echoing from behind them as screams and laughter echoed from the Imperial Hospital. Concubine Liu's "snake-in-pregnancy" farce, like a pebble dropped into still water, stirred waves of laughter throughout the Forbidden City. And Shen Weiwan's reputation for treachery soared with the drama, making her known throughout the palace as "the one not to be messed with."
When she returned to the Prince's Mansion, Shen Weiwan had just sat down on the couch when the old housekeeper came in with a cane, his snow-white beard shaking like a reed in the autumn wind: "Miss, someone from the Imperial Hospital is here to thank you..."
"Thank me for what?" Shen Weiwan asked with a raised eyebrow after taking a sip of sour plum soup.
"Thank you for the fake snake," the old butler said, his face flushed from stifling laughter. "They said the snake has become a new diagnostic tool. It's more effective than acupuncture to scare the little prince who refuses to take medicine."
"Puff—" Shen Weiwan spurted out a mouthful of sour plum soup, splashing it onto the account book on the table. She pointed at the old housekeeper and laughed so hard that she fell backwards. "Go and tell them quickly. Next time I'll have someone make a few fake snakes that can spit smoke and send them over. I guarantee the medicine will work!"
Xiao Yu heard this the moment he crossed the threshold, shaking his head helplessly with a wry smile. Looking at his wife's smiling face, he suddenly felt that these days of being "tricked" weren't so hard to endure. After all, to marry such a quirky wife, one who caused such chaos and yet so much fun in the imperial backyard, was perhaps the only one in the world who had the good fortune to do so.
Meanwhile, in the laundry room, Concubine Liu was weeping over a basin of diapers. She would never forget this day—not only had her fake pregnancy been exposed, but the embarrassing news of her carrying a fake snake in her belly had spread throughout the imperial harem. As she bent down to retrieve the floating diaper, she suddenly caught sight of her own disheveled form in the reflection. Unable to contain her grief, she burst into tears. However, her sobs were quickly drowned out by another burst of laughter from the distant Imperial Hospital. This "social demise" was destined to become a century-long joke in the Dasheng Dynasty.
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