The moon was dark and the wind was strong. The inky night, like a piece of ink-soaked silk, enveloped the capital tightly. The corner gate of the western wing of the Prince's Mansion quietly opened a crack, and Chen Weiwan emerged, crouching down, carrying a half-man-high cypress bucket. The mouth of the bucket was covered with black cloth, but it couldn't block out the sour, pungent smell. Chun Tao, who was following behind, stepped back repeatedly, and the embroidered handkerchief almost got stuck in her nostrils.
"My dear madam," Chuntao pinched her nose, her voice muffled by her handkerchief, "are you really going to dump this sewage into Nanny Wang's well? The septic tank we just emptied yesterday in the kitchen made the servants vomit three times..."
Chen Weiwan stopped and knocked the rim of the bucket with a wooden spoon. The filth in the bucket created dark yellow ripples. "Immortal?" She raised an eyebrow, and the teardrop mole at the end of her eye jumped in the moonlight. "Last time, when she brought twenty old women to smash the gate of my courtyard and split the plaque of the 'School of Cheating' in half, why didn't you say it was immoral? To deal with an old hag, you have to use 'biochemical weapons'!" She waved at the row of dark shadows at the foot of the wall. "Hengkeng, wow, do you remember what your mother said?"
Two small figures rushed over. Henkeng held up an oilcloth bag with a rustling sound inside. "Don't worry, Mom! My sister and I mixed flea powder into their osmanthus hair oil. Once we rubbed it on, they got fleas all over their faces!" Wawa held up a wicker dustpan, which was black with fleas crawling happily inside. "I also sprinkled fleas between the pages of their 'Instructions for Women'. When they opened the book, they all flew all over their faces!"
"Good boy!" Shen Weiwan gave a thumbs up and turned to look at the three-meter-high blue brick wall. "Your Highness, is the water bag ready?"
A dark figure crouched atop the wall, his handsome silhouette outlined by the moonlight. It was Xiao Yu, dressed in nightgown. In his hand, he clutched a thumb-thick hemp rope, tied to the end of which was a sheepskin water bag, nearly five dou in size, bulging and dangling over the wall. "I've already filled it! But Weiwei, if the inspector sees us doing this..."
"If you see me, just say it's the 'special fertilizer' awarded by the Queen Mother!" Chen Weiwan waved her hands and pouted at the shadows, "Old housekeeper, it's your turn to take action!"
The old butler, his hair and beard all white, led four burly servants, each carrying a pointed wooden bucket on their shoulders. They crouched down and groped their way to the base of the wall. Sure enough, there was a blue brick well at the base of the backyard wall of the "Ladies' Academy" next door, with the well rope still hanging from the wellhead.
"Be quiet! You're like stealing a chicken!" the old housekeeper lowered his voice and took the lead in lowering the wooden bucket into the well. With a few muffled "plops," dark brown filth fell into the well. A layer of oil instantly floated on the surface of the water, and the sour, foul smell drifted from the well mouth into the night sky.
Shen Weiwan covered her mouth and laughed secretly. She waited until the servants retreated, then made a gesture: "Retreat! Go to the classroom and spread the 'icing'!"
The group crept into the front courtyard of the "Ladies' Academy." A faint light shone through the classroom window paper, evidently having been cleaned. Shen Weiwan used a hairpin to pry open the window latch, and Keng Keng and Wawa scurried in like two civet cats, pulling out cloth bags from their arms and shaking them onto the carved cushions. Chuntao pried open the wardrobe and dumped all the fleas from the dustpan into her neatly folded skirt. The fleas immediately burrowed into the folds and disappeared.
"Let's go!" Shen Weiwan took a final glance at the armchair covered with flea powder, whistled with satisfaction, and the group disappeared into the night.
The next day at noon, just as the clappers of the "Ladies' Academy" sounded, a dozen or so young girls in splendid attire, handkerchiefs clutched, entered the classroom. Just as they were about to greet the students, a round-faced girl raised her hand and said, "Mammy, I'm thirsty."
Nanny Wang walked in, leaning on a jujube wood cane. She glanced at the crowd with her triangular eyes and said, "If you're thirsty, fetch some water and wash yourself! Do you want me to feed you?"
The little girl pouted and went to the backyard. She picked up the copper bucket and drew some water. As soon as she put it to her lips, she vomited, and the yellow water splashed all over the ground: "Pooh! This water stinks like the toilet!"
"What?" Nanny Wang shuddered and went to the well to fetch a bucket of water. As she approached, she was so horrified by the fumes that she took three steps back, her face flushed purple. "God damn it! Who the hell dumped manure into the well?"
The classroom erupted in an uproar. The girls pinched their noses, and some of the more delicate ones began to retch. Nanny Wang was so angry that she stabbed the ground with her cane. Just as she was about to curse, she suddenly cried out "Ouch!" and jumped up, frantically scratching her butt: "Itchy! Why is it so itchy!"
As she grabbed, all the flea powder on the armchair flew up and got into her skirt. "Ah!" Wang Ma jumped up and down in the classroom, her hairpins all fell off, her gray hair fell down, and she looked like a mad woman.
"Mammy! My neck itches too!"
"My face! It looks like a bug bite!"
The little girls were bitten one after another. Fleas from the cushions crawled up their skirts, and they rolled on the floor. Some reached out to scratch, but found flea powder mixed with osmanthus hair oil in their hair. The more they scratched, the more itchy it became, ruining their delicate makeup. The classroom was filled with cries, scratching, and the clatter of tables and chairs, like a hornet's nest.
At this moment, three heads popped up from the wall of the prince's mansion next door - Chen Weiwan was holding Wawa, and Kengkeng was standing next to her, holding a paper-rolled trumpet in his hand.
"Hey! Aunt Wang!" Shen Weiwan shouted into the megaphone, her voice echoing throughout the alley. "Is the 'morning tea' we sent you like?"
Nanny Wang looked up and saw the people on the wall. She was so angry that she trembled all over. She pointed at Shen Weiwan and screamed: "Shen Weiwan! You vicious woman! How dare you pour sewage into the well!"
"Poisonous woman?" Shen Weiwan laughed so hard that she fell backwards, and the little boy in her arms also clapped his hands. "Compared to you bringing people to smash my yard, this is called treating others with courtesy! Want to steal my business? First learn to drink manure and dance with fleas!"
He held up his megaphone and shouted, "Right! If you want to cheat people, eat three pounds of shit first!"
The onlookers had already crowded at the entrance of the alley. Seeing Nanny Wang scratching with her hair disheveled, they burst into laughter. A mischievous servant pointed at her and shouted, "Look! Nanny Wang is doing the 'scratch dance'!"
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