At dawn, the morning market in the capital's West Market was bustling with activity. Old Wang, a soy milk vendor, banged his copper spoon and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Hot soy milk! Drink it and you won't get ripped off!" Aunt Zhang, a nearby fried dough stick vendor, chimed in, "Old Wang, did you learn that hawking from the Seventh Prince's consort? Her 'School of Scamming' is the best!"
"That's right!" Old Li Si, a beggar squatting against the wall nearby, interrupted, knocking his broken bowl on the ground. "I saw with my own eyes yesterday, Nanny Wang from the 'Ladies' Academy' running around in the middle of the night carrying her bedding, with fleas all over her butt!"
The crowd roared with laughter, and a porter in shorts slapped his thigh and began to sing: "The College of Scammers has three treasures: They scam children and husbands until old age. The dean gets angry and dumps shit all over the place, scaring off all the rival colleges—this is a ballad my boy learned in private school!"
"There's another line!" The flower girl continued on tiptoe, "The devil is reincarnated, Shen Weiwan. A pit can hold ten mountains. The prince trembles when he sees it, and the queen mother praises it!"
The ballad seemed to have grown wings, drifting through the nine gates of the capital through the morning mist. From the red walls of the Forbidden City to the dilapidated temples of the slums, everyone knew that the Seventh Prince's wife in the Prince's Palace was a "swindler." Even less knew when a long line of people would form under the plaque in the west wing that read "Swindler Academy."
"Knock, knock, knock—" The corner door of the Prince's Mansion was knocked loudly. Chun Tao rubbed her eyes and opened the door, only to see an old beggar in a patched jacket standing outside, with half a moldy steamed bread hanging from the dog-beating stick in his hand.
"Who are you looking for?" Chuntao pinched her nose. The sour smell of the old beggar made her frown.
The old beggar sank to his knees, thrusting his broken bowl forward. "I'm looking for... looking for Dean Shen! I heard they teach you how to beg elegantly without getting beaten. Please let me sign up!"
Shen Weiwan was squatting in the courtyard teaching how to make "Chili Candy Cake". Upon hearing this, she threw down her chopsticks and ran out. Seeing the beggar, she clapped her thigh happily: "Old man, you have finally found the right place! The purpose of our courtyard is to 'cheat all the injustices in the world and teach you not to be cheated into a pig'!"
The old beggar's eyes were filled with tears. "Yesterday, I was begging on West Street, and a shopkeeper chased me for three blocks with a broom. My face was swollen..."
"It's a small matter!" Shen Weiwan snapped her fingers, "Hengkeng, show the old man the 'three tricks of crying poor'!"
Kenkeng immediately squatted in front of the old beggar, his chubby face wrinkled like a bun, tears falling from his eyes: "Uncle, please be kind, I haven't eaten for three days... Oh, please don't hit me, can't I go somewhere else to ask for it?" After saying that, he hid behind the old beggar and secretly smeared a layer of lard on the soles of his shoes.
The old beggar was stunned: "This...this will prevent me from getting beaten?"
"That's just the first move!" Shen Weiwan brought a basin of muddy water. "The second move is, if you see someone aggressive, smear mud on his trouser legs, crying 'My mother is sick' while smearing, and he will definitely not be able to do anything!"
Wawa came over holding a broken bowl with a fake snake made of a piece of cloth in it: "Third trick! Throw a fake snake into the bowl, and when someone kicks the bowl, yell 'Snake!' I guarantee you'll scare the crap out of me!"
The old beggar clapped his thigh and cheered, as if he had obtained a secret manual: "Wonderful! Dean Shen, you are truly a Bodhisattva... No, you are the reincarnation of the devil!"
Just as the place was bustling with activity, Xiao Yu came in dressed in casual clothes. Seeing the beggars in the courtyard, veins on his forehead jumped: "Chen Weiwan, you even accept beggars? The Prince's Mansion is about to become a branch of the Beggars' Gang!"
"Your Highness doesn't understand this!" Shen Weiwan wiped the noodles on her hands, "This is called teaching students in accordance with their aptitude! If the old man learns this, he can beg for food ten times less and accumulate more virtue!"
The old beggar kowtowed quickly: "Yes, yes! Your Highness the Seventh Prince, your wife taught you the skills to survive!"
Xiao Yu rubbed his brows, knowing that reasoning with this woman was a waste of time, so he had to accept his fate: "It's up to you... But there's a banquet in the palace tonight, and you are not allowed to bring any nonsense!"
"I know!" Shen Weiwan nodded perfunctorily, but her eyes rolled around.
That evening, a banquet was held at Kunning Palace. Shen Weiwan, dressed neatly, arrived at the table with her cunning and deceitful appearance. As soon as she sat down, Li Mao, the son of the Minister of Personnel, approached, fanning himself with a folding fan and a look of disdain on his face. "Seventh Prince's Consort," he asked, "I heard that your 'Swindlers' Academy' now accepts beggars. Would you like me to be a teacher and teach them how to cheat and deceive?"
Henkeng stood up, with his hands on his hips, and said, "Mr. Li, my mother said that if you want to be a teacher, you have to be cheated first! You have to let me cheat once, and only then can I pass the test!"
Li Mao laughed heartily: "Little brat, can you trick me? Come on!"
He pulled out a sugar figurine from his pocket, the sugar thread stretched long and thick. "Mr. Li, how about exchanging this for the jade pendant on your waist? My mother said it's a 'gold inlaid jade' sugar figurine. Eating it will make you the top scholar!"
When Li Mao saw the crooked sugar man, he laughed until tears came out: "Okay! Let's change it!" He took off the mutton-fat jade pendant and took the sugar man. Before it could get warm, the sugar man fell to the ground with a "bang" and shattered into pieces.
"Ouch!" Kengkeng screamed, throwing herself at Li Mao's feet. "This is made by my mother using gold foil from the Western Regions wrapped in honey. It's worth a thousand taels! Pay for it!"
Li Mao was dumbfounded: "A broken sugar figurine worth a thousand taels? You're cheating me!"
"How could I have cheated you?" Kengkeng raised his tearful face. "You were the one who didn't hold it firmly! Everyone saw it, didn't they?"
All the guests in the room nodded with suppressed laughter. Li Mao's face turned purple. He had no choice but to take out a hundred-liang silver note and stuff it into Kenkeng's pocket before leaving in disgrace.
Shen Weiwan laughed so hard that she slammed the table: "Good son! This 'bumping into porcelain technique' has been practiced to perfection!"
Xiao Yu held his forehead with his hand and said, "I finally understand why everyone in the palace calls you 'Demon King'..."
"Thank you for the compliment, Your Highness!" Shen Weiwan raised an eyebrow and was about to say something else when the eunuch beside the Queen Mother came to pass on a message. She walked into the side hall, and the Queen Mother immediately took her hand, grinning like a cat stealing fish: "Wan'er, I heard that you even teach beggars? Teach me how to make the old emperor hand over his private money!"
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