Chapter 270 End of Volume 9: Having cheated a whole family, the next volume will cheat the whole world!



The golden glow of the setting sun dyed the glazed tiles of the Prince's Mansion a flowing honey-hued hue. The shadows of the crouching beasts on the eaves were stretched out, slowly climbing the carved railings of the veranda with the last rays of light. Xiao Yu, holding the hem of his black court robe, dodged left and right in the garden. The crisp sound of his jade belt hook scraping against Taihu stone, mixed with the children's laughter, startled the gray sparrows perched in the locust tree.

"Dad! Stop!" He held up a rag bag and stood across the moon-shaped door. The grass scraps sticking out of the bag rustled in the wind. "I'll give you a new 'sachet'!"

"Forget it!" Xiao Yu suddenly turned around and hid behind the pomegranate tree. With his crown and belt askew, he no longer had the dignity of a prince. "The pepper powder I stuffed in the Imperial Garden last month made me sneeze for three consecutive days. The Grand Tutor even thought I was possessed by an evil spirit!" Before he finished speaking, a burst of white smoke suddenly flew out of the tree hole. Wa Wa held the empty powder box and giggled, and the Western Region Itchy Powder was all over Xiao Yu's face.

"A-choo!" His Royal Highness the Seventh Prince rubbed his itchy nose and took three steps back. The hem of his brocade robe swept the melon seed plate off the stone table. "Chen Weiwan! Take care of this pair of devils!"

Shen Weiwan, munching on freshly roasted sunflower seeds in the veranda, burst into laughter upon hearing this, her pale cheeks, freshly recovered from morning sickness, flushed. "Your Highness, the children saw you looking worried before court, so they're trying to cheer you up!" She raised her hand to stroke her slightly swollen belly, revealing a pair of soft satin shoes embroidered with lotus flowers beneath her moon-white skirt. "Yesterday they said you yawned non-stop during court, like a sleepy big yellow dog."

Henkeng took the opportunity to sneak up behind Xiao Yu and stuffed the cloth bag into his sleeve: "Dad, smell it, this 'scented bag' is even more fragrant than the last one!"

Just as Xiao Yu was about to pull out the cloth bag, he suddenly felt a sharp itch on his sleeve. He looked down and saw specks of powder on the brocade—it was the itching powder again! He looked at Wa Wa, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. The little girl was shaking the little gold-studded fist given by the Empress Dowager. "Grandma said so! She said if Dad stays in bed again, she'll use this to 'move you around'!"

"The Queen Mother is becoming more and more like an old naughty boy." Shen Weiwan laughed so hard that she slapped her thigh and waved to Chuntao who was chasing after her. "Go to the front yard and fetch a basin of well water. Don't let His Highness get so itchy that he becomes the Monkey King of Huaguo Mountain."

When the copper basin arrived, Xiao Yu was washing his face in the vat. Water dripped down his chin, wetting the lotus pattern on his clothes. He looked at his wife's increasingly pregnant belly and sighed helplessly, "It's only been six months since we've had peace, and now there's another little debt collector."

"What? Do you dislike what's in my belly?" Shen Weiwan raised her eyebrows and tapped the stone table lightly with her fingertips.

"I dare not!" Xiao Yu hurriedly wiped his hands and half-knelt in front of her to protect his lower abdomen. His movements were so familiar that Chun Tao couldn't help but smile secretly. "I'm just worried about the three little ones joining forces in the future - Kengkeng giving advice, Wawa handing out itching powder, and then there's a newcomer..."

"I'll teach my brother to trick you!" Kenkeng interrupted him, patting his chest. Xiaopang's hands were still stained with mud from combing the big yellow dog's hair.

"I taught my sister to sprinkle croton seeds into grandpa's tea!" Wa Wa shouted, with half a wilted rose pinned in her hair.

Shen Weiwan was just amused when she suddenly felt nauseous and started to retch, leaning against the pillars. Chuntao quickly handed over the sour plums: "Madam, are you feeling uncomfortable again?"

"It's okay." Chen Weiwan bit into a sour plum and watched the father and son chasing and playing in the sunset. Keng Keng was stuffing chili powder into the big yellow dog's kennel, causing the old yellow dog to sneeze and spit all over his pants. She suddenly grasped Xiao Yu's hand, her fingertips rubbing the thin calluses on his palm. "Your Highness, look how good it is now."

Xiao Yu followed her gaze and saw Kengkeng and Wawa placing a "wreath" of dead branches around the neck of a large yellow dog. The petals fell as the dog shook its head, making the two children roll around on the ground. He thought of the girl who had acted crazy and foolish in the general's mansion when they first met, and then looked at his wife, who now had a smile in her eyes. His throat choked slightly and he said, "It's very good."

"Who should I trick next?" Shen Weiwan tilted her head to look at him, the jade hairpin in her hair trembling slightly with her movements. "Last time you said that the Taifu's mustache was blown crooked by the wind, did you think I didn't know that it was stuck on with malt sugar?"

"That stubborn old man deserves it!" Xiao Yu wanted to laugh when he remembered the way the Grand Tutor's beard curled up like a shaggy figure when he attended court. "It's because he always accused you of corrupting the children. As a result, the little guys blocked him at the gate of the Imperial College and stuffed half a bag of soybeans into his boots."

"That's just the beginning." Chen Weiwan chuckled, rubbing her belly with her fingertips. "If it's a girl this time, I'll definitely teach her to be even more deceitful than Wawa—like replacing the emperor's seal with tofu and then sprinkling it with itching powder."

"Please forgive my father!" Xiao Yu was at a loss whether to laugh or cry. "Last time, Kengkeng put chili milk cake in his tea. The old man ignored me for three days. It was only my mother who intervened to coax him back."

He ran over, holding the remains of a five-nut mooncake, the crust shattered all over the floor. "Mom, when will my little brother come out? I want to take him to steal Dad's jade belt hook and exchange it for Fatty Wang's candied haws from East Street!"

"I need ten more!" Wa Wa came over, his little face covered in dog hair and grass, "And get my sister a rattle that makes a sound!"

Xiao Yu looked at his son and daughter's sparkling eyes, then at Chen Weiwan's mischievous smile, and silently covered his face. He was afraid that the ceremonial procession of the Seventh Prince would be completely buried in the muddy ground of the Prince's Mansion. But when Henkeng stuffed the saliva-stained mooncake into his mouth and tugged at his clothes to hear a story, he felt that this was more real than the roars of "Long live the emperor" in the court.

"Madam," the old housekeeper walked through the Moon Gate on crutches, holding a letter with its seal opened, "a letter from Lingnan saying... that Liu is dying, and they'd like to ask you to have the grace to take her back."

Chen Weiwan took the letter, glanced at the crooked handwriting, and tossed it directly into the nearby brazier. The orange flames licked the paper, burning the lament of "I'm suffering from miasma and my life is coming to an end" to ashes. "Tell the person who comes here that I appreciate your aunt's 'teachings' and have specially prepared two pounds of freshly dried chili powder to send, claiming it can dispel miasma and cure laziness."

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