In the Golden Throne Hall, curls of smoke rose, and the ambergris in the bronze crane incense burner exuded a subtle sweet aroma. The emperor had just placed the night-shining pearl presented by the Northern Di envoy, Aguda, on the jade table. The pearl shone like starlight in the candlelight, causing his favorite concubine to chuckle softly. Aguda suddenly raised his hands and clapped, the applause echoing through the empty hall. Two sturdy Northern Di men, their beards like halberds, came forward, carrying a wooden cage covered with black cloth. The sound of crawling could be heard from the bottom of the cage.
"Your Majesty, the Emperor of Dasheng," Aguda said, his Chinese voice thick with the roughness of steppe sand. His knuckles rapped against the cage wall, and he tore off the black cloth. "My Northern Di warriors can catch scorpions with their bare hands. Is there anyone in your country who dares to touch its tail? If you don't—" He deliberately dragged out his words, his eyes sweeping across the civil and military officials on the steps, "then you are a nation of cowards!"
The sight inside the cage caused gasps to echo throughout the hall. A venomous scorpion, the size of a bowl, was curled into a pitch-black ball, its sting like a poisoned needle, gleaming a faint green in the candlelight. With each step, the scrape of its claws against the wooden cage made one's heart clench. The Prime Minister twirled his goatee and retreated half a step. The Imperial Censor coughed violently. Even Xiao Yu, standing in the front row, frowned slightly. He had seen this Western Region black-tailed scorpion in military history. A single sting could kill a strong ox. Touching its sting was tantamount to seeking death.
"My Lord, this is not very interesting."
A clear female voice suddenly rang out from the palace gate, like a stone dropped into a tranquil lake. Chen Weiwan, holding her child, danced with laughter behind her. Her skirt, embroidered with gold and jade, swept across the golden bricks. Her scarlet-gold and kingfisher-embellished tiara shone with a shimmering light. Each step met Aguda's stunned gaze. She had been in the Cining Palace, playing with the Empress Dowager in a nine-linked puzzle. When she heard about the "poisonous insect show" happening in the previous dynasty, she immediately rushed over, her two children in her arms.
Aguda narrowed his eyes, sizing up and down the woman who dared to walk around the throne room so freely. "Who are you?"
"I—" Shen Weiwan put the pit on the ground, squatted down to straighten his tilted tiger-head hat, and the pearls on the brim of the hat brushed against the child's red cheeks, "I'm the 'swindler' that the neighbors in Beijing are talking about."
Henkeng immediately grabbed the hem of Shen Weiwan's skirt and answered in a baby voice, "My mother said that we should eat it while it's hot! It won't taste good if it's cold!"
The whole hall was filled with coughs of suppressed laughter. The emperor couldn't help laughing and waved his hand for Shen Weiwan to come forward: "Weiwan, this Beidi envoy wants to see our warriors, you..."
"Your Majesty, touching a scorpion's tail is so boring." Shen Weiwan interrupted the emperor and poked the chubby little hand with her fingertips, "Kengkeng, take out the 'snacks' you hid yesterday and show them to the envoy."
Henkeng's eyes lit up, and he pulled a greasy oil-paper bag from his sleeve pocket. A few yellow croton seeds rolled out and landed on the gold brick. This was the "weapon" that Chen Weiwan had equipped him with yesterday, originally to let him "lay mines" in the Taifu Mansion garden to tease the Taifu grandson who always pulled his pigtail.
Aguda's face darkened, and he placed his hand on the scimitar at his waist: "What do you want to do?"
"Feed the scorpions." Shen Weiwan smiled like a civet cat stealing fish, pushing the pit toward the scorpion cage. "Didn't the envoy say that warriors can catch scorpions? My son can make the scorpions obey him. Is that a greater skill?"
Having been taught by Chen Weiwan that "deception requires quickness, accuracy, and ruthlessness," Kenkeng tiptoed to dump the entire bag of croton seeds into the scorpion cage. The scorpions, already snarling in the cage, were actually curling their stingers and nibbling at the distinctive, pungent aroma of the croton seeds. Just as Aguda was about to raise his lip to mock the southerners' folly, the scorpion suddenly spun in place, its stinger drooping limply. A few muffled "puffs" followed, and dark green liquid oozed from its tail. Soon, it lay belly to the sky, its eight claws twitching and motionless.
"Scorpion... Scorpion died of diarrhea?" Aguda's eyes widened, his beard trembling. The scorpions he brought were ferocious beasts that had been fed for three years with poisonous snake blood and poisonous grass juice. He had never seen such a scene before. Killed by a handful of croton seeds? Or died of diarrhea? If word of this got back to the Northern Di, he would be laughed to death on the grassland by his tribe.
Chen Weiwan clapped her hands, picked up Kengkeng, and wiped the dust off the tip of his nose with her fingertips: "Look, sir, there's no need to touch the stinger, it can still die. Does my son's skill with 'Croton Stewed Scorpion' make him a warrior among warriors?"
He immediately raised his chubby little hand, answering a teacher's question like he was in class: "My mom said, to deal with bad things, you have to give them something they like to eat! The more they like to eat, the more miserable their death will be!"
The throne room was at first deathly silent, then erupted in laughter. The emperor clapped his hands on the dragon throne, and the night-shining pearls on the jade table trembled. Xiao Yu shook his head helplessly, but when he looked at Shen Weiwan, his eyes were filled with unwavering fondness. Even the young eunuch standing in the corner of the hall blushed crimson, pinching his thigh to stifle a laugh. Aguda's face turned from red to white, and from white to blue. He had brought the poisonous scorpion to destroy Dasheng's prestige, but who knew that a baby using croton, a laxative, would make a fool of himself. This was worse than being slapped in the face.
"You...you are doing evil things!" Aguda clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white.
"Your Excellency, what you said is not true." Chen Weiwan raised an eyebrow and fished out a candy cake from her other sleeve pocket. She stuffed it into the stunned Wa Wa, the icing on the child's fingertips. "My son fed the scorpions with croton seeds because he knew what they like. It's called 'knowing yourself and your enemy, you can fight a hundred battles without defeat.' But your Excellency, using a few poisonous insects to scare people is a bit petty."
Xiao Yu stepped forward and naturally smoothed Shen Weiwan's hair, which had been tangled by Kang Kang. The scent of jasmine mixed with ambergris lingered in his nose. He looked at Aguda, his tone full of the dignity of a prince, but with a hidden smile: "Since the envoy has come to propose marriage, we should treat him with sincerity. My wife and I were just joking with the envoy. If the envoy finds it boring—" He paused, deliberately lengthening his tone, "How about I invite you to the Prince's Mansion to try 'Stir-fried Croton and Scorpion Tail'? I guarantee it will be more delicious than the barbecue you eat on the grassland."
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