The vapor of ambergris rising from the gilded bronze cauldron within the Golden Throne Hall mingled with the sweet fragrance of osmanthus blossoms wafting from outside, yet it couldn't conceal the Northern Di envoy Aguda's inner uneasiness. He rubbed his sweaty palms, his eyes frequently glancing at the plate of glistening crystal pork elbows on the table, his throat churning as he swallowed. Ever since the couple's humiliation in the court yesterday with the croton oil, he hadn't slept a single night, ultimately deciding that the only way to save his life was to marry into a foreign clan.
"The envoy was frightened yesterday." The emperor lifted the mutton-fat jade cup, the amber wine swishing gently in it. He looked at Aguda with a smile in his eyes. "Today, this simple banquet is specially prepared to calm the envoy's nerves."
Just as Aguda bowed, ready to express his gratitude, footsteps suddenly rang out from the palace gate, like three pebbles dropped into a tranquil lake. Kenkeng, with his chubby little legs, strode forward, his hands clutching a gilded tea tray. Two white jade cups on the tray clinked gently with his steps, creating a crisp, resonant sound. Wawa, like a tiny tail, trailed behind his brother, clutching a greasy oil-paper bag in his tiny hands. His face was filled with anticipation for his prank.
"Your Majesty, we have brought the 'Calming Tea' to the envoy uncle!" Kengkeng tilted up his rosy little face, and the corner of his mouth with a missing front tooth was grinning wide, revealing his little canine teeth stained with snack crumbs.
Aguda shuddered, shrinking back as if struck by lightning, his bottom nearly sliding off the carved chair. The image of the croton seed causing the scorpion to die of diarrhea yesterday flashed through his mind. He stared warily at the tea tray, his voice trembling, "What kind of tea is this?"
"This is the 'Traffic Tea' my sister and I brewed ourselves!" He pushed the tea tray forward like he was presenting a treasure, and Xiaopang pointed at the yellow powder floating in the teacup. "If you, Uncle Messenger, drink it, you'll be as 'traffic-free' as that scorpion yesterday!"
Aguda: "..." He felt the corner of his mouth twitch. This was clearly naked revenge! The Golden Palace was completely silent. Civil and military officials all bowed their heads, their shoulders trembling uncontrollably, and coughs from stifling laughter rose and fell.
Shen Weiwan sat beside Xiao Yu, her fingertips gently stroking the edge of the teacup, and said to the emperor with a feigned helplessness: "Children are ignorant, and the envoy must not take it to heart."
However, Xiao Yu turned his head and said to Aguda in a voice that only the two of them could hear: "Don't worry, messenger, my son's tea-making skills are quite good. This tea...well, it does have a 'miraculous effect' after drinking it. It makes you feel refreshed." A hint of cunning flashed in his eyes, and his long fingers tapped lightly on the table.
Aguda looked at Xiao Yu's half-smile and felt that this tea was even more comparable to Hedinghong. He waved his hands repeatedly and said, "Thank you for your kindness, young master, but I am old and have a stomachache, so I can't handle tea..."
"Uncle Messenger, if you don't drink, you're not giving us face!" Wawa suddenly raised the oil-paper bag in his hand, and said threateningly in his childish voice, "Then I'll sprinkle this into your wine glass!"
Aguda took a closer look and saw that the yellow powder leaking out of the cracks in the oil-paper bag was the croton powder that had killed the scorpion yesterday! His pupils suddenly constricted, as if he saw the scorpion twitching in its cage. He was so frightened that he almost snatched the teacup and said, "Drink! Can't I drink it?"
"Uncle, you're such a good boy!" Kengkeng immediately beamed with a toothless smile. "My mom said, only good kids get candy!"
Aguda steeled himself, closed his eyes, pinched his nose, and drank the tea in his cup. The tea tasted slightly bitter, with a strong aroma of beans, but immediately after it went down his throat, a cramping pain like a tsunami erupted in his stomach.
"Puff--" A muffled sound came from under Aguda's seat, and it was particularly clear in the silent hall.
The entire hall erupted in laughter. The emperor clapped his hands on the dragon throne, the prime minister's hands trembled violently as he twirled his beard, and the censor nearly fell off his chair. Aguda's face turned pale as paper. He staggered to his feet, clutching his stomach, his voice trembling, "Your Majesty, I...I suddenly have to go to the bathroom!"
The emperor suppressed his laughter and waved his hand, saying, "The messenger is welcome. Come, take the messenger to the clean room!"
Aguda, as if granted amnesty, practically scurried out of the hall, almost bent over. Just as he reached the outside, he heard the clear, childish voice of a child chasing him: "Sister, look! The envoy uncle is running so fast! He's even faster than our big yellow dog chasing a rabbit!"
A smug voice followed closely behind: "That's right! I secretly added double the amount of croton powder to his tea! Look, brother, I'm awesome, right?"
Shen Weiwan shook her head helplessly, hiding the smile on her lips with a handkerchief. Xiao Yu leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Look at how well you've taught your daughter. Her methods of deceiving people are even better than yours."
"Of course," Shen Weiwan raised her eyebrows, a cunning light flashing in her eyes, "otherwise, how can we live up to the name of 'a family of scammers'?"
Aguda was gone for half an hour. When he returned to the main hall, his face was as pale as wax, and his legs wobbled as he walked, as if a gust of wind could blow him over. He had just sat down shakily when Kenkeng approached him with a tea tray and an innocent smile. "Uncle, another cup of 'tongchang tea'? It'll make you run faster!"
"No! No need!" Aguda was so frightened that his soul was about to be shattered. He waved his hands and almost fell off the chair. "I... I am already... very unobstructed..."
The entire palace, civil and military officials, could no longer contain their laughter. The emperor coughed twice, trying to maintain his dignity. "Emissary, now that we've tasted the tea, why not take this opportunity to discuss the marriage?"
Aguda nodded his head hastily as if he had been pardoned. "Your Majesty, I will do everything you ask! The betrothal gifts... double the betrothal gifts! I only ask that the Seventh Prince's wife and the young prince and princess please be kind and stop sending me this 'transmission tea'!"
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