In the throne room of the Great Sheng Dynasty, the smoke of ambergris curled upward, but it couldn't conceal the astonishment on the faces of the civil and military officials. The emperor, dressed in bright yellow formal attire, his dragon boots casually resting on the edge of his desk, toyed with a walnut in his hand, and cracked it with a startling sound, shocking the Prime Minister below the steps so much that his beard trembled.
"My Lords, listen!" The Emperor tossed the walnut shells aside and slapped the armrests of his dragon throne, making them clang. "I've made the decision! We'll move that sleazy academy in the Imperial Garden to Northern Di and establish an 'international edition' of it!"
The entire court, civil and military officials, was petrified. The Minister of Personnel's ivory tablet clattered to the ground, and the Vice Minister of War rubbed his ears, wondering if he'd misheard. The Prime Minister shakily stepped out, his graying beard trembling like a reed in the autumn wind. "Your Majesty, this... this treacherous academy is a commonplace joke. How could it be allowed to enter an enemy country? It would be a disgrace to the dignity of the Celestial Empire!"
"Bullshit!" the emperor glared, flicking the sleeves of his dragon robe. "Back then, that old brat Aguda brought his poisonous scorpions to the Golden Palace to provoke us. If Weiwan and the two babies hadn't tricked him into giving up for three days and three nights with croton seeds, would he have obediently offered the princess for marriage? That's called cultural export! Do you understand?"
Chen Weiwan, standing among the concubines, felt a pang of fear at the words. She knew that if her troublesome father-in-law, the emperor, was ever accused of cheating, nothing good would happen. Sure enough, after the court session, she was taken to the imperial study. The emperor leaned back on the rosewood couch, legs crossed, grinning like a fox who had successfully stolen a chicken. "Weiwan, you will be the one to lead this international cheating academy! As for the tuition... I heard that Princess Altan Qiqige of Beidi looks like a geranium from the grasslands, so I'll let her serve as your maid for a year to cover her tuition!"
Shen Weiwan: "..." She looked at the "pitting father" light flashing in the emperor's eyes, and silently lit a candle for Princess Beidi in her heart.
Three days later, a flamboyantly written enrollment notice was delivered to the gate of the Beidi royal court by express horseback. Written in cinnabar on the brown paper, it read: "The International Edition of the Dasheng Trickster Academy Grand Opening! This academy teaches the ultimate in the art of tricking people. Applicants must bring a 'trickster artifact' and pass the dean's assessment before admission. Special note: First-year tuition discount—a Beidi princess is required to serve the dean for one year."
The Northern Di royal court was in an uproar. Princess Altan Qiqige, who was training a falcon, was so enraged after hearing the guards read the announcement that she crushed her falcon whistle and said, "How ridiculous! Do you think we Northern Di are just pastures? I will personally confront this swindler from Dasheng!"
A fortnight later, a group of Northern Di knights, clad in animal skins, stormed the capital of Dasheng. Their leader, Altan Qiqige, wore a gold-studded animal hide skirt, her long black braid adorned with turquoise. In her arms, she clutched a carved wooden cage filled with several black scorpions, their venomous claws bared, crawling about, sending the city gate guards into a cold sweat. At the gate of the Trickster Academy, she delivered a stern warning: "Call your dean out! I want to see who has the guts to take me in as a servant!"
At that moment, Shen Weiwan was squatting in the academy courtyard, instructing Kengkeng to draw the "Eight Trigrams Trap" on the ground with croton powder, while Wawa was stuffing dried croton seeds into her apron pocket. Hearing that Princess Beidi had arrived, she dusted the powder off her hands and winked at Chuntao, "Let's go and take a look. Don't let the children scare the princess."
At the gate, Altan Qiqige slammed the wooden cage onto the stone table with a clang. The poisonous scorpion thrashed inside, sending sawdust flying. "Are you the dean?" She looked Shen Weiwan up and down, seeing that she was wearing a casual skirt and only a silver hairpin in her hair. She immediately became even more disdainful. "You don't even have a decent piece of jewelry, and you're qualified to run an academy?"
Kenkeng curiously approached the cage. Xiaopang pointed at the scorpion and said, "Sister, can this worm be roasted and eaten? It looks like the bean worms my mom fried."
Altan Qiqige sneered and lifted the cage lid to reveal the poisonous scorpion. "What do you know, little brat? This is our Beidi's 'Desert Death God'. One bite from it can kill a yak! Do you dare to touch it?"
Shen Weiwan squatted down, straightened the crooked collar for Kengkeng, raised her eyebrows and smiled at the princess: "Princess, you brought this thing here, are you trying to apply for the position of 'Scorpion Breeder' in our hospital? We are short of people here."
"Nonsense!" Altan Qiqige was hit in the sore spot and became angry. "If you can make this scorpion obey you, I will be your maid!"
As soon as she finished speaking, Kengkeng suddenly pulled out a handful of roasted croton seeds from his pocket and sprinkled them into the cage: "Baby Scorpion, have a snack!"
"How dare you!" Altan Qiqige reached out to grab it, but Wa Wa, who was standing next to her, grabbed her thigh. This little girl looked soft and tender, but her grip was as strong as a wolf cub, holding her so tightly that she couldn't move.
Several scorpions, scented by the croton seeds, swarmed over and devoured them. Within half a cup of tea, they began twitching wildly in their cages, followed by a series of puffs and expelling a thin, greenish liquid. A foul stench instantly filled the air. Altan Qiqige, stunned, took a step back. "What kind of sorcery is this?"
Shen Weiwan took out a handkerchief to cover her nose and said with a smile: "This is called Croton, a specialty of Dasheng, specializing in treating all kinds of disobedience. Princess, look, your 'trickery artifact' has been cheated by us, isn't it time to pay the tuition?"
Altan Qiqige's face flushed like a cooked shrimp, and she pointed at Shen Weiwan, speechless. How could she possibly come up with another "artifact"? Finally, she stiffened her neck and roared, "Just accept it! This princess wants to see what kind of crooked ways this shabby academy of yours can teach!"
Thus, the most arrogant princess of the Northern Di became the top servant at the School of Tricksters. Shen Weiwan's first task was to feed the scorpions—of course, the feed was croton seeds. Every day, Altan Qiqige would approach the cage with croton seeds powder, only to be choked by the scorpion's dung and frown, mentally cursing Shen Weiwan a thousand times.
This day, she couldn't help herself. Seeing Shen Weiwan teaching Wawa to carve a fake jade seal with sugar cakes, she finally said, "Are all the people in Dasheng as deceitful as you?"
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