Liu looked at the plaque, so angry that she almost fainted: "You...how dare you play tricks on me! This is the Honest People's Academy!"
"Auntie, you misunderstood," Shen Weiwan blinked in surprise, her long eyelashes like two small fans, "Aren't you going to teach everyone to be honest people? Honest people should accept other people's kindness." She winked at Henkeng.
"Auntie!" Kengkeng shouted, holding up a banner. "Come to our academy and learn how to cheat people! The tuition is only three pounds of croton seeds, and we guarantee you'll learn!"
Wa Wa echoed in a baby voice: "Now that I've learned how to cheat people, I'll never be cheated by beggars again!"
The people around were laughing so hard that they were falling over. Some people took out their mobile phones (special edition for the Dasheng Dynasty) to take pictures and send them to their friends: "Look! The Honest People's College has become a cheating branch!" Liu looked at her college becoming a laughing stock in the city, feeling ashamed and angry. She grabbed the moldy cake and threw it at Shen Weiwan.
Shen Weiwan was prepared. She dodged to the side, and the pancake slammed against the earthen wall behind her, startling two lovebirds. She pulled out a wanted poster stamped with the Ministry of Justice's seal and waved it in front of Liu. "Aunt, this is your prison break wanted poster. I just got it from the Minister of Justice."
Liu looked at the blood-red seal, her face uglier than croton juice: "You...what do you want?"
"I don't mean anything," Shen Weiwan shrugged, the hem of her skirt embroidered with croton flowers sweeping across the ground. "I just want to tell you that this capital city is not a place for someone like you who just came back from the croton fields. It seems that sending you to the croton fields last time didn't make you learn your lesson."
As soon as he finished speaking, the imperial inspector and his runners came rushing in, hammering the ground with their fire and water sticks. "Liu! How dare you escape from prison! Come with us!"
Liu was about to throw a tantrum, but was held down by two burly yamen runners, and the corners of her coarse cloth skirt were torn. She looked at the smug smile on Shen Weiwan's face and screamed like a venomous snake whose tail was stepped on: "Shen Weiwan! Even if I become a ghost, I will not let you go!"
Shen Weiwan leaned close to her ear and said in a voice that only the two of them could hear: "Aunt, if you want to be a ghost, you must first learn how to trick people. Otherwise, when you go to the underworld, I'm afraid even the Mengpo soup will be taken away by the little ghost."
As Liu was dragged away, she continued to curse, her voice growing farther and farther away until she finally disappeared around the corner of West Street. Shen Weiwan looked at her from behind, shook her head, and said to Xiao Yu, "She's really courting death. Do you think she ate too much croton and her brain is damaged?"
Xiao Yu put his arm around her waist, his fingertips brushing against the croton flower hairpin in her hair: "Okay, now that the problem is solved, let's go home. I'll make you your favorite croton cake tonight."
"Wait," Shen Weiwan pointed at the broken sign of "Honest Man College" and said to the yamen runners, "hang up this plaque."
The yamen runners exchanged bewildered glances before finally hanging the plaque reading "Scam Academy Branch" on the tattered wooden board. In the sunlight, the gilded characters shone eerily, as if mocking Liu's foolish, suicidal path.
On the way home, Kengkeng looked up and asked, "Mom, why is my aunt so stupid?"
Shen Weiwan squatted down, touched her son's head, and said seriously: "Because she has bad intentions and always wants to take advantage of others, she ends up being cheated. So, it's okay to cheat people, but you have to be conscientious and not be too greedy, understand?"
"I know!" Kengkeng and Wawa said in unison, their little faces filled with teachable expressions.
That night, Shen Weiwan lay in Xiao Yu's arms, thinking of what happened during the day, she couldn't help laughing: "Your Highness, where do you think my aunt will be sent this time?"
Xiao Yu played with her hair, his tone tinged with laughter. "I heard there's a new croton plantation on the border, and they're in need of experienced farmers. I guess they'll send her there as a 'technical consultant.'"
"Pfft..." Shen Weiwan laughed so hard that her body shook. "Then she really went to the right place. Dealing with crotons every day, maybe she can research new varieties."
"Okay, don't think about it," Xiao Yu hugged her tightly, rubbing his chin against the top of her head. "I have to go to the Trickster Academy for classes tomorrow. Father said he's going to teach 'How to Use Poetry to Get Wine,' and he also said he'll let you be his assistant."
"Again?" Shen Weiwan wailed, burying her face in his arms. "The last time he taught me 'paying a debt with poetry' was outrageous enough. This time, I'm afraid it will piss off Li Bai and Du Fu."
"There's nothing I can do," Xiao Yu sighed, his tone full of doting, "After all, our father is a treacherous devil who was delayed by the throne."
The two smiled at each other, a warm atmosphere filling the room. The moonlight shone brightly outside the window, rustling the leaves of the sycamore trees in the Prince's Mansion. Shen Weiwan knew that as long as she had this group of deceitful family members around, her life would never be boring. And Liu's suicidal behavior was just a trivial episode in her otherwise enjoyable life.
The next morning, from the training grounds of the Trickster Academy, the emperor's resounding voice echoed again: "Today, I'll teach you the art of 'trickstering' at the drinking table! Remember, when drinking, say 'I'll drink, you can do whatever you want,' and then secretly slip croton powder into the other person's glass! Be discreet and sincere..."
Shen Weiwan stood in the audience, holding her forehead, watching the emperor personally demonstrate how to use his sleeves to cover the powdering action. The students beside him followed suit. She suddenly felt that although this business of deceiving people was bizarre, it was full of unexpected joy. Perhaps this was the kind of refreshing life she most wanted in her rebirth.
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