The mornings at the Prince's Mansion were always filled with the sweet aroma of croton cakes. As the first rays of morning light swept across the veranda, the croton wind chimes dangling from the eaves jingled. Shen Weiwan sat at the rosewood table in the main hall, her fingers kneading a freshly baked pastry. Crumbs of pastry fell onto the open account book, which contained a yellowed purchase order for croton powder—the "premium croton stockpiling plan" she had secretly compiled last night without Xiao Yu's knowledge.
"Miss! No, Princess!" Chuntao rushed into the main hall holding a stack of gold-embossed letters. The croton flower rope in her hair was scattered. "The envoys from Beidi, Nanchu, and Xishu are all blocking the corner gate, carrying boxes and shouting that they want to become disciples!" She piled the letters on the table breathlessly. The gold-embossed covers made people dizzy. The letter from Beidi on the top was still stained with half a piece of sable hair.
Chen Weiwan paused while biting the pastry, and the croton powder on her eyelashes fell off with a blink of an eye: "Why are they here again? The envoy from Dongyue just left with a banner that read 'Introduction to Cheating Techniques', and now the people from Xishu are here to join in the fun." Her fingertips slid across a pearl-studded letter from Beidi. On it was written in crooked Chinese characters, "Please grant me the magic technique to prevent fraud." A grain of croton powder was stuck in the gap between the pearls.
A chuckle came from behind the screen, and Xiao Yu walked out, turning a chess piece made of croton powder. The hem of his ink-black brocade robe swept across the croton shells on the ground: "Madam, the 'learning letters' sent by various countries this month are enough to cover the walls of the East Cross Courtyard. The King of Beidi said he would send ten carts of sable fur in exchange for you to open a 'cheating branch' on the grassland." He placed the chess piece on the account book, just enough to suppress the purchase plan of "ten kilograms of top-quality croton."
"Ten cartloads of mink fur?" Chen Weiwan's eyes shone brightly, then she drooped and covered her mouth with a handkerchief. "But the new students at the Scam Academy are still waiting for me to teach them how to identify fake silver ingots. Yesterday, a student mistook a lead block for silver to trick a swindler, and was laughed at for his lack of knowledge." She held up the letter from the Nanchu envoy, a crying face drawn with croton paste on the letter paper. "If I had known that tricking swindlers could be a diplomatic tool, I should have tricked more enemy spies. Now, I'm overwhelmed every day by these international students."
Xiao Yu walked up behind her, wiping the powder from the corners of her mouth with his fingertips. When he got closer, he could smell the scent of croton flowers in her hair. "Come on, who broke into my study last night, saying they wanted to borrow some private money to stock up on 'Triple Spicy' crotons?"
"That's for the students' actual combat training!" Shen Weiwan turned around and glared at him, only to see Kengkeng and Wawa rushing in with a gold-painted box. When the lid of the box was opened, a fist-sized luminous pearl rolled out, filling the room with golden light in the morning light.
"Mother!" Kengkeng held up the beads, his brocade waistcoat stained with croton powder from the bottom of the box. "The Western Shu envoys said this was a 'deceptive initiation gift'. Please teach them how to replace the fake Pu'er tea sold by the Southern Chu tea merchants with genuine Longjing!"
Wawa, with her pigtails wagging, held a charcoal drawing in her hand: "The Northern Di envoy drew a big tent, saying he wanted to learn 'how to get merchants to voluntarily pay their tariffs in croton seeds'!" Under the crooked tent in the drawing, several little men were filling sacks with beans, and in the corner there was a drawing of a man wearing a crown squatting in a toilet.
Chen Weiwan took the night-shining pearl and held it up to the light, her deliberately furrowed brows reflecting it. "Who did I offend? I just scammed a few fake medicine dealers in Nanchu, how did I become a 'transnational scammer'?" She scratched the edge of the pearl with her fingernail. "How many kilograms of croton powder can this quality be exchanged for? I heard that the 'flaming spicy' croton powder that Wang the butcher has just arrived from West Street is so spicy it can make a person fly."
Xiao Yu reluctantly pushed her back onto the pearwood chair, his fingertips rubbing against the "croton powder purchase order" in her account book: "Stop pretending. Last night, you were counting the gold leaves sent from Xishu, laughing so hard that the bed was shaking, and you even said, 'Oh, this gold is so dazzling, it's not as solid as croton powder.'"
"No way!" Chen Weiwan said stubbornly, but couldn't help but curl the corners of her lips, her fingertips unconsciously stroking the night pearl, "I'm just a little worried - what if the tricks are passed on to foreign countries and they learn to cheat our Dasheng merchants?"
"Don't worry," Xiao Yu picked up the letter from the Nanchu envoy. On it was a diagram of how to make a laxative tea, drawn in cinnabar. "For those of them who can't even learn the 'fake shit trick,' they're considered accomplished if they can draw a straight croton powder circle."
Before he could finish his words, the doorman, Zhou Bo, came in with a croton wood cane. The top of the cane was carved with a crooked "pit" character. "Princess, the envoy from Western Shu has said that if you do not teach me, all the hundred bags of croton seeds I brought will be dumped on the screen wall of the palace to form a 'Seeking a Teacher Mountain'!"
Chen Weiwan stood up with a jerk. The hem of her moon-white skirt knocked over the teacup, and the croton flower tea splashed onto the three characters "croton powder" in the account book. "They're rebelling! How dare they threaten me with croton? Chuntao, go get the bag of 'Soul-Breaking Spicy' croton powder from the east wing. Let them taste the power of Dasheng's specialty!"
Xiao Yu grabbed her wrist, his touch delicate yet revealing his strength. "Madam, you are an envoy from a neighboring country after all. Please give me some respect."
"Face?" Chen Weiwan raised an eyebrow, the croton flower hairpin in her hair gleaming with tiny golden glints. "Alright, then let's test them on 'First Lesson' - using croton powder to draw a 'Five Elements Anti-Fraud Array.'" She turned and shouted towards the backyard, "Hack! Bring out all that croton powder you hid behind the rockery, and have the messengers draw ten pictures each!"
"Okay!" Kenkeng cheered and ran towards the garden, followed by Wawa with a small shovel in hand, the red rope made of croton on her pigtails swinging like a little torch.
Xiao Yu looked at his wife's shining eyes, the kind of light that only appeared when one discovered a new variety of croton. "Alright, go take care of your 'international teaching affairs'. I'll go to the kitchen to prepare you an extra serving of croton cakes, so you don't get hungry later and have to steal the students' snacks."
"Your Highness still loves me!" Shen Weiwan stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek, taking the opportunity to take the purse from his waist, "Remember to sprinkle more 'flame spicy' powder, so that the envoys will cry for their parents!"
In the main hall, the envoys from the three kingdoms were already whirling around in panic. The brocade robe of the Western Shu envoy was stained darkly by croton oil, the collar of the fox fur coat of the Northern Di envoy was still stained by the wind and snow at the border, and the envoy from the Southern Chu held a gilded box, from which wafted the faint aroma of croton oil.
This chapter is not over yet, please click on the next page to continue reading!
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
