When the midnight bell pierced the carved window lattices of the Prince's Mansion, Shen Weiwan was trapped in a nightmare of croton powder. She sat up like a cat scalded by boiling oil, her belly bulging like a full-term croton meal. Where the brocade quilt had slipped, the curve beneath her moon-white nightgown gently rolled with her breath. The croton flower pattern embroidered on the tent ceiling swirled in the candlelight, forming a swirling vortex. She suddenly grasped Xiao Yu's wrist tightly, her nails digging into the flesh of his forearm: "Your Highness! Something terrible has happened!"
Xiao Yu woke up with a start from his snoring, his black hair disheveled on his sweaty forehead: "Did you dream about Liu bringing Shen Ruoruo to steal croton powder again?" His voice was hoarse as if he had been choked by croton powder, but his fingertips habitually rubbed the thin calluses on the back of her hand - those were hard scabs caused by years of pinching powder to paint traps, and now they were turning white due to the force.
"It's a hundred times, a thousand times worse than that!" Chen Weiwan patted her belly, the tassels of the brocade curtain rustling like a torrential rain. "I've dug myself into the pit of childbirth!" She counted on her fingers, the powder stains from mixing croton gum last night still stained in the cracks of her nails: "I dug my aunt in my rebirth, my cousin at the Spring Banquet, the scumbag in the garden, and the envoy from Nanchu last year... Now, look, I've dug myself into being a mother of three! So the ultimate villain in this book is actually my own stupid imagination?"
Xiao Yu touched her forehead silently, then checked his own: "No fever, it seems like you're experiencing prenatal delusions."
"Go away, you delusional one!" Chen Weiwan slapped his hand away, the scattered croton flower hairpin in her hair poking his collarbone painfully. "Chun Tao said yesterday that the midwife had prepared 'hole-opening tools'. My back teeth chattered when I heard that - this is clearly the ultimate backlash of a stupid imagination!" She suddenly gasped and hurriedly lifted the quilt, revealing suspicious wet marks on the sheets. "Oh my... Could it be that she's about to give birth?"
Xiao Yu instantly woke up as if drenched in ice water. As he stumbled out of bed, he kicked over the potted croton powder plant beside him, spilling the light brown powder all over the floor. "Chun Tao! Hurry, call in Aunt Zhang! Tie up those two kids, Keng Keng and Wa Wa, and take them to the study. If they dare to sprinkle even a little bit of itching powder in the delivery room, I'll throw them into the croton field to keep Liu company!"
Half an hour later, the delivery room was filled with steam. Shen Weiwan clutched the quilt, panting heavily, her sweat-soaked hair sticking to her flushed cheeks. Suddenly, she grabbed the sleeve of Aunt Zhang, who was mixing the labor-inducing medicine with a silver spoon and said, "Auntie, can I tell you a joke?"
Nanny Zhang's hand trembled, and the croton powder mixed with brown sugar water in the medicine bowl splashed half an inch high. "My dear, my royal consort, can we not tell jokes at this critical moment?"
"It fits! It fits perfectly!" Shen Weiwan's facial features were distorted with pain, but she still grinned and smiled until tears came out. "Once upon a time, there was a midwife who was delivering a baby. She was distracted while singing a croton ballad. As a result, she wrapped the newborn baby like a croton rice dumpling and tied a bow on it..."
"Oh my little ancestor!" Aunt Zhang was so frightened that the medicine bowl almost fell into the charcoal basin, and the silver hairpin swung to the back of her head. "You've got to keep it to yourself. It's important to save your strength to give birth to a child!"
Xiao Yu, who was standing outside the door, rubbed his brows as he listened. Chun Tao stumbled over with a bowl of croton pink sugar water, the rim of the bowl still stained with powder: "Your Highness, the young prince and princess are making a scene in the side hall, saying they want to give their sister a 'birth gift to prevent fraud', and there's no way to stop them..."
Before he could finish his words, the heads of Kengkeng and Wawa squeezed out from the crack of the door, shouting in unison: "Mom! We made a pink itchy swaddle for my sister. We guarantee that the scammer will be tickled like a monkey's bottom if he holds her. It's even worse than the last time he scammed the Nanchu merchant!"
"Get out of here!" Shen Weiwan's roar shook the window paper and the croton flower lantern on the bedside. "If you make trouble again, I'll throw you two into the croton field to feed the dung beetles!"
Taking advantage of her distraction, Aunt Zhang quickly pressed down on her sweaty shoulders: "Push harder! I see the end! Push harder and you can see the young master!"
Shen Weiwan's eyes went dark due to the pain, but she suddenly laughed out loud: "Mammy, do you know why you can't sprinkle too much croton powder? Because if you sprinkle too much..."
"Chen Wei Wan!" Nanny Zhang was so angry that she slammed her handkerchief on the medicine table, and the hot water in the copper basin splashed three feet high. "If you tell such a joke again, I will really throw the young master to the ground! Let him have a close contact with the croton powder!"
Xiao Yu was standing outside the door, his shoulders shaking from stifling laughter. He whispered to Chun Tao, "Go tie those two devils up in the study with croton ropes, and then stuff a piece of osmanthus cake into the princess's mouth. This will prevent her from irritating the midwife and causing a brain hemorrhage. She'll then have to use croton powder to treat other people."
Another hour passed before a resounding cry finally erupted from the delivery room, like a croton firecracker going off. When Nanny Zhang emerged, carrying the swaddled baby, his hair tangled like a tangled mess, and the veins on his forehead throbbing like drums, she said, "Congratulations, Your Highness! It's a sturdy little prince, weighing a full seven pounds!"
Just as Xiao Yu was about to step into the house, he heard a loud and vigorous shout from inside: "Madame Zhang, don't leave! I haven't finished the second half of my croton glutinous rice dumpling joke yet!"
Nanny Zhang's legs went limp, and it was only Chuntao who held her up that saved her from falling on the threshold: "Please, my dear princess, save the joke for the young master. My old bones can't stand the shock. If you scare me again, I'll go to Hades and drink croton soup..."
Three days later, Shen Weiwan reclined on a soft couch covered in croton-flower brocade, cradling the swaddled young prince in her arms, who was smacking his lips in sleep. Kengkeng and Wawa presented a crooked cloth bag, like treasures, embroidered with a misshapen croton flower in gold thread, the stitches so crooked it looked like it had been gnawed by mice.
"What is this?" Shen Weiwan narrowed her eyes vigilantly. As her fingertips brushed the edge of the cloth bag, they were stained with some suspicious light brown powder.
Henkeng puffed out her chest, her collar still stained with thread and wax from last night's secret bellyband sewing. "Anti-scam bellyband! Three stitches of croton powder sewn inside. If a scammer hugs me..."
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