The chirping of early summer cicadas sang like scorched bronze bells, wrapped in the midday heat and swirling around the gates of the General's Mansion. The doorman, Old Zhou, leaned on a thickly patinated jujube wood cane, slumped against the bluestone gatepost, his cloudy eyes surveying the dense, honeycomb-like crowd before him—wealthy merchants in Hangzhou silk gowns stroked their sleek beards, sour-tongued scholars debated endlessly over the Book of Songs, vendors in white turbans stood on tiptoe to peer. Even the patrolling Jinwu Guards, their black warhorses tethered to the corners, their armor plates jostling to the front row, their helmets' red tassels swaying in the crowd like a maple forest.
"Make way! Everyone, get out of my way! My young lady is going to take the exam to become a wealthy businessman!" Chun Tao, holding a delicate silk fan, pushed her way into the crowd. Her moon-white skirt swept across the ground covered with melon seed shells. The newly replaced ruby hairpin on her temples trembled with her movements, and the broken diamonds splashed with tiny glint in the sunlight. "Everyone, listen up! Master Qian Manguan from the east city is here to solve the mystery!"
As soon as she finished speaking, the crowd parted like Moses parting the sea. Liu dragged a bloated, middle-aged man forward, her jade armor digging into his arm and wrinkling his purple, python-patterned satin robe. Qian Manguan's belly bulged his clothes like an over-fermented steamed bun, his layers of fat swaying as he walked. He was a renowned local tycoon, rumored to have enough silver to cover a whole floor.
"Get out of the way!" Liu screamed, her red gold headband swaying to her temples. "This is Master Qian! He's rich enough to rival an entire nation! Get out of the way, you poor bunch!"
Qian Manguan shook off Liu's hand, and his saliva splashed on the faces of the people in the front row: "Young lady! I heard that you came up with a question about 'which came first, the chicken or the egg'? Let me answer it!" He patted his belly, and his gold and jade belt buckle was squeezed so hard that he groaned.
On the second floor of Tinglan Courtyard, beside the carved railings, Chen Weiwan was playing a grass-stalk fight with the Seventh Prince, Xiao Yu. Hearing the commotion below, she peeked down from the railing. When she saw Qian Manguan's features clearly, she burst out laughing, dropping the clover in her hand to the ground. Her shoulders trembled with laughter. "Look, Your Highness!"
Xiao Yu followed her finger and saw Qian Manguan's round, flat face, his small eyes narrowed into slits. When he smiled, the fat on his cheeks wrinkled into wrinkles, making him look like an old clay pot by the well. He couldn't help laughing, covering his lips with his folding fan. "It's indeed deep, like two black sesame seeds fallen into a dry well."
Chun Tao was shaking with laughter, her silken quilt almost torn to pieces: "Miss, Liu is trying to stuff ugly men in again! Last time she was full of money, this time she was full of money. Could it be that she dug it out from the pile of ugly men?"
Shen Weiwan stopped smiling, a cunning light flashed in her eyes, and she tapped the railing with her fingertips: "You're just in time. Chuntao, go and bring over the basin of 'grains and cereals' in the east courtyard."
"Ah? That basin of millet mixed with stones is still there?" Chuntao's eyes widened. "It's all rotten, right?"
"It's better if it goes bad," Shen Weiwan tilted her head and smiled, her dimples light, "The 'surprise' prepared for Liu has to taste like this to be strong."
In front of the General's Mansion, Qian Manguan was spitting profusely as he answered questions, his oversized belly bulging his satin robe to the point of bursting. "I've traveled extensively for so many years, and I've never encountered a difficult question! Listen carefully—the chicken came first! Without the chicken, how could the egg come from? Is that even a question?"
"Wrong!" Shen Weiwan's voice floated down from the second floor, as clear as a broken jade plate. "Master Qian, your answer is just like your appearance—it's crooked and has gone to my grandmother's house eighteen miles away!"
Qian Manguan was stunned for a moment, his eyes widening into green beans: "How can you say that, young lady? I, the master, have a face of good fortune!"
Chen Weiwan ran downstairs with her skirt lifted up, circling Qian Manguan three times on purpose. Suddenly, she clapped her hands and exclaimed in a voice so sweet it was sickening: "Oh my! Master Qian, your face looks like the old well in my backyard no matter how you look at it!"
Everyone took a closer look. Qian Manguan's face was round and concave, with fat hanging down from his chin. Didn't it look like a wellhead? They immediately burst into laughter, with some people slapping their thighs with laughter: "It's true! The circle of moss around the wellhead is not even as round as his face!"
"It's deep, indeed," Shen Weiwan sighed with mock regret, poking the fat on Qian Manguan's arm with her fingertips, "but it's pitch black at the bottom of the well. Seeing it at night would scare a child to tears!"
Qian Manguan was so angry that his face turned purple, and he pointed at Chen Weiwan and trembled: "You... you dare to scold me? Believe it or not, I will kill you with money!"
"How dare I scold you," Shen Weiwan blinked her innocent big eyes, her long eyelashes like small fans, "I mean, your appearance is blessed, like an old well that can hold water - but it must be swill, right?"
The people were rolling in laughter. Butcher Zhang slapped his shoulder pole and shouted, "Master Qian, if your face were a manhole cover, could it draw two buckets of water?" Qian Manguan was so amused that he couldn't lift his head. Veins throbbing on his purple face, he abruptly shook off Liu's hand and said, "I won't answer!" He walked away, his fat flesh causing a button on his satin robe to snap. "I have plenty of money, so why worry about not being able to marry a virgin?"
Liu looked at Qian Manguan's back and trembled with anger. The jade armor "snap" crushed the handkerchief in her hand: "Chen Weiwan! You little bitch! You ruined my good thing again!"
Xiao Yu walked to Shen Weiwan's side without knowing when, his moon-white brocade robe fluttering in the wind. He looked at Liu's distorted face and said in a cold tone: "Liu, it seems that not only are you a mess in managing the household affairs, but even your vision in finding a match is worrying."
Liu was choked and speechless, watching the Seventh Prince naturally stand beside Shen Weiwan, his protective attitude hurting her eyes. Shen Weiwan, however, pulled Xiao Yu's sleeve, raised her little face and whispered: "Your Highness, look at her anger, her face has turned green, like a squashed eggplant!"
Xiao Yu looked down at her, the ice in his eyes instantly melted into spring water, and his tone was doting: "Well, it still looks like a punctured pufferfish, with a belly that can hold a boat."
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