Chapter 105 I Died Because of You
Jiang Ru never held back in her speech, especially towards Pei Wu. She would say whatever she wanted. With her arms around Pei Wu's neck and her body pressed against his chest, how could Pei Wu remain unmoved by such words?
He stopped in his tracks, his grip on Jiang Ru's arms becoming incredibly firm. He looked down at Jiang Ru's buried head, his heart drifting away with her words.
Jiang Ru dodged immediately after speaking, leaving him no room to maneuver. He could only hold Jiang Ru firmly and carry her onto the carriage.
Jiang Ru's ankle was sprained quite badly; it ached even when she wasn't moving. As soon as she sat down, she frowned and gasped for breath. Pei Wu then squatted down and lifted her skirt.
Pei Wu dared not move her ankle, only touching the edge where it wasn't twisted. Fortunately, her ankle wasn't too swollen; it should just be a sprain.
Rarely touched so directly by Pei Wu, Jiang Ru unusually showed some embarrassment, especially since it was such a sensitive area. Jiang Ru couldn't help but want to dodge, and awkwardly said, "Don't touch me."
Upon hearing this, Pei Wu looked up, his warm fingers still covering Jiang Ru's calf, showing no intention of letting go.
His gaze, though devoid of emotion, seemed to draw Jiang Ru completely into his eyes, reflecting her image and sending a chill down Jiang Ru's spine.
Suspecting he was going to confront her, Jiang Ru muttered, "I didn't see the rock there and accidentally stepped on it."
She didn't run wildly; she just slipped on a pebble and fell.
Even after falling like this, she was still afraid that Pei Wu would blame her. Pei Wu sighed helplessly, "I don't blame you."
Upon hearing this, Jiang Ru relaxed a little, moved forward slightly, and leaned against Pei Wu with unwavering determination, venting her belated grievances: "It hurts so much, I almost thought my leg was going to break."
With so many people surrounding her earlier, Jiang Ru was too embarrassed to cry out in pain. Now that she was back in the carriage, with only Pei Wu and herself inside, she could finally cry out in pain.
After all, Jiang Ru was a person who cared about her image. If it weren't for Pei Wu, she would have found a place to hide and cry secretly, not wanting anyone to see her.
Because Pei Wu was squatting, Jiang Ru had to lean forward to lean against him. Pei Wu tried to get her to sit back down, but Jiang Ru refused.
The carriage lurched over a pebble, causing Jiang Ru to stumble and fall. Fortunately, Pei Wu caught her before she fell. This time, Pei Wu finally helped Jiang Ru sit up straight with a cold face, forbidding her from moving around again.
The carriage swayed and rattled as it drove to the outside of the mansion. Pei Wu turned to Jiang Ru, who was sitting properly to the side, and went up to her, bending down to hug her.
Jiang Ru quickly reached out and placed her hand on Pei Wu's chest, a gesture of rejection: "No hugging."
Pei Wu asked good-naturedly, "Then what should we do?"
She had just been dealing with unfamiliar farmers, and now they had all gone home. If Xia and the others saw her like this, how embarrassed would Jiang Ru be?
Jiang Ru tugged at Pei Wu's sleeve: "Carry me on your back."
Admittedly, they had hugged each other many times in private, but Jiang Ru was extremely reserved in front of outsiders. Pei Wu didn't think there was any difference between hugging and carrying him on his back. However, Jiang Ru took her hand off his sleeve and scratched his palm.
What temper could Pei Wu possibly have? He could only turn his back and squat down in front of Jiang Ru.
Jiang Ru wrapped her arms around him, and Pei Wu carried her on his back. Jiang Ru was very light, so carrying her didn't weigh him much, but Pei Wu couldn't help but sway a little when he stood up.
Jiang Ru quickly hugged him tightly: "Can't you carry me?"
Jiang Ru is so light, how could she possibly be unable to carry her?
Pei Wu's voice faltered for a moment: "I can recite it."
It was a different kind of intimacy than a hug. Jiang Ru's breath was on his neck, and when he lowered his eyes, he could see Jiang Ru's thin arms. Jiang Ru was wrapped around him, relying on him wholeheartedly.
Pei Wu carried Jiang Ru down from the carriage. Their appearance attracted the attention of everyone in the mansion. Xia Xia was the first to ask, "What's wrong? What's wrong? Why do we need to call the imperial physician?"
Earlier, when Xiao Chen was coming to greet them, Pei Wu asked him to fetch a doctor, which was overheard by others. Seeing Jiang Ru being carried by Pei Wu, it was quite worrying.
Jiang Ru knew that this matter would attract everyone's attention, so she only allowed Pei Wu to carry it, so that it wouldn't be so conspicuous.
But now, facing so many concerned eyes, Jiang Ru felt that she was still not thick-skinned enough, so she hid her head as if trying to deceive herself.
Pei Wu, on the other hand, replied to Xia Xia without batting an eye, "I twisted my ankle."
Xia quickly and worriedly swept her hand over Jiang Ru's leg: "How could you be so careless?"
Jiang Ru was too ashamed to answer and shook her head on Pei Wu's back. Pei Wu didn't say anything either, and Xia could only follow silently behind them.
Pei Wu carried Jiang Ru into their bedroom. Jiang Ru sat on the edge of the bed and saw Pei Wu about to bend down to take off her shoes and socks. She quickly tried to shrink back.
Pei Wu looked at her calmly, while Jiang Ru glanced left and right, then winked at Xia Xia.
Xia, who was completely unaware of what was happening, was asked to leave by Pei Wu. Only then did Jiang Ru finally extend her tucked-in feet forward. Pei Wu bent down and gently helped Jiang Ru take off her shoes and socks.
As soon as she finished undressing, Jiang Ru quickly shrank back onto the bed, her skirt completely covering her injured foot, as if afraid that Pei Wu would peek at it.
Pei Wu didn't say anything to her. He went to wash his hands and didn't do anything else after he came back. He just stayed by Jiang Ru's side, who was curled up on the bed doing nothing. After a long time, Jiang Ru took out a storybook from under her pillow. Sometimes when Pei Wu was dealing with official business at night, she would use storybooks to pass the time.
The storybook she pulled out was a recently published one, a love story with little substance, but good for passing the time.
The meaning behind "finding out the storybook" is that Pei Wu should stop watching her and go do what he needs to do.
However, Pei Wu leaned against the headboard and showed no sign of leaving. Instead, he glanced at the storybook in Jiang Ru's hand, his gaze lingering on her hand, and he stopped moving.
Jiang Ru secretly moved to the side, and Pei Wu's gaze followed her, as if determined to see what she had written in her book.
It was fine for her to look at it herself, but with the refined and elegant Pei Wu standing next to her, Jiang Ru felt that the book in her hand was somewhat inadequate.
Jiang Ru managed to read two pages, and Pei Wu followed suit, his gaze from the side particularly noticeable. Jiang Ru seemed to freeze on one side. She angrily closed the book, and when she turned her head, Pei Wu's expression remained unchanged: "What's wrong?"
Jiang Ru said angrily, "Don't peek."
Pei Wu wasn't peeking; he was looking openly. He didn't feel guilty about being caught. He simply stated the facts: "I want to see what you usually look at."
Since he had already said that, how could Jiang Ru still be angry with him? Besides, the book had always been under his pillow, and if Pei Wu really wanted to read it, he could take it without even asking Jiang Ru.
Jiang Ru had nothing to say, so she could only open the storybook again and read it again. However, she saw intimate scenes after reading only a few pages.
Jiang Ru wanted to disappear into the ground as she read on. She quickly closed the book, her cheeks flushed red. She forced herself to look up, and Pei Wu looked back at her, seemingly confused. He hadn't seen that part yet.
Jiang Ru's face flushed red. She gritted her teeth and stuffed the storybook back under her pillow. She would never take it out again if Pei Wu was around.
Pei Wu remained calm: "I'm not watching."
Jiang Ru looked dejected: "I'm not watching anymore."
If she continued watching, she might never be able to face Pei Wu again.
Perhaps feeling that he had disturbed Jiang Ru's interest, Pei Wu took two steps to move to the desk next to him and said, "You see, I won't peek."
Jiang Ru couldn't bear to send him away. As Pei Wu ran away, she hurriedly reached out in his direction, almost falling off the bed in the process.
If she hadn't been injured, then falling wouldn't have been a big deal. But Jiang Ru had just twisted her ankle, and Pei Wu hurriedly helped her up. Once she was seated, he said gently, "I won't leave. I'll stay with you, and I won't peek anymore."
Pei Wu had an excessively good temper; it seemed that no matter what Jiang Ru did, he wouldn't get angry. Jiang Ru held his hand and leaned closer to him, saying, "I'm not watching anymore. Let's hug for a while."
As she spoke, she quietly wrapped her arms around Pei Wu's waist and stopped moving and talking, simply burying herself in Pei Wu's embrace.
They hugged peacefully for a while when Xiao Chen arrived with the doctor. The old doctor was brought inside and examined the injury. He said it was just a sprain and that a few patches of medicine would do the trick. However, Jiang Ru would not be able to go out freely for the next few days and would need to rest.
After the doctor left, Xiao Chen took the prescription to get the medicine, while Xiao Xia went to fetch water for Jiang Ru, since the doctor had just said that Jiang Ru's injury could be treated with a cold compress.
When the water arrived, Pei Wu took a handkerchief, soaked it in water, and placed it on Jiang Ru's ankle.
Jiang Ru's injury made it difficult for her to get out of bed, so Pei Wu was determined to stay by her side. However, things didn't go as planned. There was a knock on the door, and Xiao Fang stood outside, looking anxiously: "My lord, there's an urgent letter from Bianjing. They want you to go see them in person."
Pei Wu frowned slightly. He had intended to help Jiang Ru apply the medicine, but Xiao Fang seemed to be in a real hurry. Pei Wu hesitated and looked at Jiang Ru, who nodded to him: "Go ahead."
Pei Wu could only say, "I'll try to come back as soon as possible."
It's not like Pei Wu has to accompany her, Jiang Ru urged him, "Go quickly."
Pei Wu could only walk quickly out of the bedroom. Xiao Fang hurriedly led him to the front yard, where two people were standing. They were dressed in close-fitting clothes and must have traveled day and night from Bianjing. Upon seeing Pei Wu, the two knelt on one knee and presented him with a secret letter.
This letter was not delivered by the emperor, but by Zhang Meng, a secretary in the Imperial Secretariat.
The Great Xia and Yan are allied. According to the alliance that Pei Wu previously reached with Yan, the Great Xia is also sending troops to attack the Northern Qi. This move is not to help the Northern Yan, but to reclaim the land that was ceded to the Northern Qi by the previous dynasty.
However, the Xia army lost. Although the Northern Qi was currently at war with the Northern Yan, the forces it had separated still caused the Xia army to collapse.
Not only did they fail to reclaim the occupied territory, they also suffered a crushing defeat.
Because the emperor handed over all power to the eunuchs, who acted as commanders, any generals who disobeyed were considered to be defying the imperial decree. With these eunuchs giving orders haphazardly, the Great Xia Dynasty naturally fell.
That's not even the worst of it. Last year, during the autumn harvest in Hongzhou and Xinzhou of the Great Xia Dynasty, there was a locust plague. After another winter, countless people died.
Starving people eat grass and soil. Eating the soil will make them feel full for a short time, but it won't last long. People who eat soil will have swollen faces and red, swollen bodies, and eventually die from overeating.
Every day, abandoned babies are left outside the city walls, but they disappear the next day. Cannibalism has already occurred in the state. Court officials have offered advice, but they have all been silenced by the pretext of the ongoing war.
Even this letter was secretly delivered to Pei Wu by Wang Meng. Due to the lack of communication between the various prefectures, these reports on the locust plague were suppressed when they reached the palace. It was only when it could no longer be concealed that the court officials learned of it.
The emperor had previously favored Su Mu, but now he wanted to take power from Su Mu, so he favored the eunuchs and stopped listening to Su Mu's advice.
If Pei Wu were still in Bianjing, he might have been able to say a few words, but now that he is in Tanzhou, far from the emperor, he can do very little.
If the people are not stabilized, internal strife will break out. Not to mention fighting the Northern Qi, the Great Xia will collapse on its own.
Pei Wu stared at the secret letter for a long time, then, with a force that almost crushed the paper, lit a flame and burned the letter.
Wang Meng meant that he should advise the emperor, and if that didn't work, he should be transferred back to the capital. After all, he was the emperor's senior brother, and now that Song Pingzhang was gone, perhaps his words would still be useful.
Once the letter was delivered, the task of the constables was complete. Wang Meng did not ask him to reply, but the fact that such a secret letter was sent was a way for him to think of a solution.
The constables rode away, having come weary from their journey, and were about to leave without even taking a break.
Pei Wu watched the figure gradually disappear into the distance, and then stared at the clump of ashes at his feet. A gust of wind blew by, and the ashes vanished into thin air.
Pei Wu turned and returned to the mansion. He sat quietly in his study for a long time, picking up his pen several times and then putting it down again.
He should perhaps write a memorial to the emperor, requesting that he be transferred to Yanshan Prefecture, which is currently at war with the Northern Qi, or to Hongzhou and Xinzhou, which are suffering from disasters. However, he is simply not in a position to handle everything; one person cannot do the work of three.
The emperor doesn't trust him. Even if he were to write a memorial to the emperor now recommending capable people, it's unlikely to be adopted. On the contrary, the colleagues he recommends are likely to be labeled as his accomplices by the emperor, and at best, they will be demoted, and at worst, they will be purged.
If Song Pingzhang were still alive, he might have been able to restrain and persuade the emperor. Unfortunately, he is not here, and the current emperor is suspicious and fickle, trusting no one.
Pei Wu could do something, so he couldn't just stand by and do nothing.
He felt powerless, just like when Chen Gou injured someone in the street when he first entered the court, just like when the Chen family embezzled money but he couldn't find any more of it, and just like when Song Pingzhang was slandered but he couldn't prove Song Pingzhang's innocence.
He thought he had done enough; the emperor could get rid of these officials without any mercy. He thought the emperor was capable of governing the Great Xia well.
As it turned out, he had overestimated the emperor.
Because the Chen family controlled the government and Song Pingzhang had many subordinates, he began to resist all his ministers, fearing that they would take away the power in his hands. Therefore, he chose to trust the eunuchs.
Pei Wu couldn't help but wonder, how could Song Pingzhang, who was the second-highest scorer in the fifth year of Yongcheng, have produced such a stupid emperor? Was it because he didn't teach well, or was he rotten to the core?
The study was dark, and Pei Wu could no longer see the book in front of him. It seemed that he could no longer understand the words in the book, and he felt like he had become an illiterate blind man.
He felt an urge to go to Bianjing right now, kick the emperor off his throne, and drown him in the water.
The darkness instilled in him a great deal of aversion and led him to try to solve problems through violence.
Suddenly, several heavy thuds came from outside, as if heavy objects were hitting the ground. Pei Wu heard a very light rubbing sound. A person jumped over from the window. She was wearing a familiar ruqun, pink and purple, and her hair was tied in the same double buns as always. When she jumped, her hair buns swayed messily.
She hopped to Pei Wu's window, alone. When she saw Pei Wu, her eyes widened as she peered at his desk and then at his less-than-upright posture.
She seemed curious about what Pei Wu was doing, so she leaned her head into the window. Because she couldn't stand steadily, she could only hold on tightly to the windowsill, her fingertips turning white from gripping it so tightly.
Jiang Ru steadied herself, then looked at him with innocent eyes, before glancing down at the books on his desk: "I thought you would go out, but you came to the study instead. Are you busy?"
Pei Wu didn't respond, and Jiang Ru didn't wait for his answer either. She jumped a few more times, and Pei Wu suddenly realized what was happening. Remembering Jiang Ru's swollen ankle, he quickly stood up and went to greet her. Jiang Ru had already jumped to the door.
She reached out and took Pei Wu's hand, slightly out of breath from jumping all the way: "Help me, my legs hurt."
With her fingers resting on Pei Wu's arm, her entire weight pressed against him, instantly calming his anxious heart. He picked up Jiang Ru and placed her on the chair he had just been sitting in.
Jiang Ru's injured foot was bare, so when she sat down, her bare foot had no support and awkwardly dangled in the air.
Pei Wu, worried that she might catch a cold, was about to find her shoes and socks when Jiang Ru grabbed his sleeve, her tone displeased: "Where are you going again? I finally managed to hop over here, and you want me to come looking for you again?"
The distance from the bedroom to the study wasn't far, but it took some effort to jump over. Pei Wu looked at Jiang Ru's overly red face after exercising, reached out and touched her cheek. Her cheek was warm. Pei Wu asked, "Why didn't you send someone to call me? Why did you have to come here yourself?"
Jiang Ru waved her hand: "I thought you were busy, how could I let you come to find me? I can come over here myself."
It was already evening, and although the sky wasn't completely dark, the study felt somewhat dim. Jiang Ru lit the lamp oil, and the room instantly brightened, dispelling all the darkness.
The firelight flickered, and on the table in front of Jiang Ru lay an open book. She glanced at it a few times, but didn't think much of it. Instead, she turned to Pei Wu and asked, "They said they were from Bianjing. What did they say to you?"
Pei Wu usually comes to the study when he has something to do. Even when he reads at night, Jiang Ru will keep him in the bedroom, since there is a desk in the bedroom and Jiang Ru doesn't want to leave.
Jiang Ru assumed that Pei Wu must have something to do when he came to the study, but when she followed him, she found that Pei Wu was simply slacking off.
Jiang Ru looked at him with a troubled expression: "Didn't you say you'd come back to me as soon as possible? Why are you locked in your study?"
She hadn't originally planned to come looking for Pei Wu, but when Xiao Zhu brought her dinner into the bedroom, she casually mentioned that Pei Wu hadn't left the manor, so she came looking for him.
She pressed him for answers, and Pei Wu finally spoke: "Yes, there is something, but I haven't thought it through yet."
Jiang Ru asked, "Is it very urgent?"
Pei Wu nodded.
Pei Wu rarely shows such a bewildered expression when faced with problems; perhaps the situation he's dealing with is truly troublesome.
Jiang Ru tried to shrink herself into the chair: "Then you go ahead with your work, I'll wait for you here. Just pretend I don't exist."
It was always like this: Pei Wu would write at his desk while Jiang Ru would find something to do on her own. They were used to it.
Pei Wu responded but didn't move. Jiang Ru was sitting in the chair directly in front of the desk. Perhaps because of the position, Pei Wu didn't move. Jiang Ru nudged Pei Wu and said, "Carry me to the side. I don't want to sit here."
There's no reason for her to sit in the center while Pei Wu sits on the side.
However, Pei Wu still didn't move. He seemed to be thinking about something, staring blankly at a point in the air. Only after hearing Jiang Ru's words did he say, "No need, you can just sit."
Pei Wu was still lost in thought. It was already late, and neither of them had eaten dinner. Actually, Jiang Ru was hungry, but Pei Wu hadn't eaten either, and she wanted to keep him company.
Time passed by, and Pei Wu seemed to be caught in a difficult problem. He remained silent for a long time, not speaking to Jiang Ru.
Jiang Ru was bored, so she picked up Pei Wu's pen and wrote poems on the paper. She didn't like studying, and since she had nothing else to do, she decided to compare her handwriting with Pei Wu's and practice her writing style.
As she was writing, she heard Pei Wu call her name, his full name and surname, which surprised Jiang Ru for a moment.
Pei Wu rarely called her by her full name. Even after they got married, he would occasionally call her his cousin. Only when they were alone would he call her "Madam," but even then, he wouldn't use her full name.
Jiang Ru trembled at his call, feeling inexplicably flustered: "What's wrong?"
Pei Wu thought a lot. He wondered if he shouldn't have left the capital. If he had stayed in the court, he would have been involved in everything. Even if the emperor made a foolish mistake, he might have been able to say a few words to him.
He was in Tanzhou, but he couldn't do anything he wanted to do.
Jiang Ru was ignorant of court politics, but she was Pei Wu's most trusted person, so Pei Wu still told Jiang Ru everything he knew that day.
The more Jiang Ru listened, the uglier her expression became. She couldn't understand why the emperor would be so stupid. In the few times they had met, although he seemed like a puppet emperor, he shouldn't have gone this far. He was really pushing Great Xia to its doom.
No wonder Pei Wu thought about it for so long. Not to mention Pei Wu, even Jiang Ru herself wanted to slap that damned emperor a few times. Jiang Ru's heart ached with anger, and she asked Pei Wu, "So what do you want to do?"
Pei Wu took a long time to answer her: "I'm thinking about whether to go back to Bianjing, or go to Hongzhou or Xinzhou instead."
Hongzhou and Xinzhou are too far apart; the journey alone would take at least half a month. Unless Pei Wu is split in two, we have no choice but to choose one.
Even if Pei Wu went to those two places, there was little he could do. Even if he spent all his salary, it would be a drop in the ocean compared to the needs of the disaster victims.
More importantly, his position was illegitimate; without the emperor's decree, the local prefect would not obey him.
The other path seems even less viable.
If he goes to Bianjing, the emperor will most likely take his life.
Jiang Ru also encountered the most difficult question to answer. By now, she could actually guess who killed Pei Wu in her previous life.
She has an extra memory compared to Pei Wu, which allows her to help Pei Wu avoid some problems before he makes a decision.
But she wasn't smart enough to figure out the reason. Pei Wu was more capable than her; perhaps if she told him, he would make a decision.
Pei Wu seemed to have made up his mind, and he began, "I plan to..."
Just then, Jiang Ru suddenly covered his mouth.
She said incoherently and in a panic, "Pei Wu, wait a moment, don't speak, I have something I want to tell you."
Pei Wu stopped talking and gave a very soft "hmm".
Jiang Ru's eyes were filled with panic. She was afraid that Pei Wu would still die, so she hurriedly revealed everything to Pei Wu.
"Do you know why I came to find you in the first place? We're such distant relatives, why would I travel so far to find you?"
In the past, Pei Wu might have said, "Because you have no other relatives."
But they all knew that wasn't the case.
Pei Wu knew it was strange that Jiang Ru had come to see him, but he chose to ignore it and didn't pursue the matter. Now that Jiang Ru wanted to tell him the whole story, Pei Wu shook his head and said, "I really don't know."
Jiang Ru took a deep breath: "You may not know, but I was actually reborn." She didn't dare to look Pei Wu in the eye, afraid that Pei Wu would think she was talking in her sleep, and continued to say incoherently, "I died because of you in my previous life."
When she heard that she was reborn, Pei Wu did not react much. However, when she heard that she died because of Pei Wu, Pei Wu's eyes showed a moment of blankness, as if he was in a daze.
Jiang Ru wanted to finish speaking as soon as possible, but she couldn't explain it clearly in just a few words. Jiang Ru stammered, "I died because you died. I heard the officials say that you were a traitor and that your entire family was executed."
Jiang Ru picked at her fingers: "Actually, our relationship is too distant. I didn't expect the officials to find me, but they did. So think about it, could it be because you offended someone, so they want to eliminate you completely? They even found me, your distant cousin. It's enough to show how much they hate you."
This person is most likely the emperor. Although Jiang Ru doesn't know how Pei Wu was caught and executed in her previous life, as long as the person sitting on the dragon throne is still the same, it would be incredibly easy for him to execute a minister, without even needing any evidence.
Jiang Ru continued, "In your previous life, you were a regent, but you had a bad reputation. Everyone said you were evil, that you would kill people indiscriminately, and that you would eat people. But when I met you, I found that you were not that kind of person."
As she continued, Jiang Ru lost track of what she was saying, only managing to spill everything to Pei Wu: "When I first found you, it was to find out why you died. That's why I didn't want you to take the imperial examination, because I knew that once you entered the court, you would likely die, and your entire family might be executed."
Jiang Ru said softly, "I didn't do those things on purpose. I just wanted to survive, so I stopped you from taking the imperial examination and didn't want you to get promoted. I know what I did was bad, but I had no other choice."
As she spoke, Pei Wu kept watching her. At first, he was somewhat taken aback, but as he listened, he came to understand.
Jiang Ru grasped his hand, her eyes filled with helplessness and confusion: "I know my motives for approaching you weren't pure, but I had no choice at the time. Now my thoughts have changed. I don't want to live on my own; I want you to live too."
As if she were grasping at Pei Wu's lifeline, she grabbed his hand and asked pleadingly, "If I tell you everything, will you be able to avoid the accidents of your past life and survive?"
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