Chapter 94 I will take responsibility for you
Jiang Ru piled the bowl full of meat. Although she was stubborn, she was soft-hearted. She said she would ignore him, but when she saw that Pei Wu had lost weight, she would still worry that he wasn't eating well.
Pei Wu felt a warmth in his heart. He lowered his head and said, "You eat too."
The two completely ignored everyone else. Before Pei Wu arrived in Tangzhou, Jiang Ru and Song Shu had spoken so resolutely, saying they would never talk to him again and that they would teach Pei Wu a lesson. But in just one afternoon, Jiang Ru had completely forgotten what she had said.
The two of them were putting food on each other's plates. Who would believe that Jiang Ru was sulking with him? Song Shu gave Jiang Ru a wink, but Jiang Ru pretended not to see it.
After the meal, the two seemed to have reconciled. Jiang Ru put down her chopsticks first, and Pei Wu immediately seized the opportunity: "Cousin, it's okay..."
Before he could finish speaking, Jiang Ru, still angry with him, turned and left. Just moments ago she had been concerned about whether he had eaten enough at the table, but now that she had put down her chopsticks, she acted as if she didn't recognize him at all.
Pei Wu could only swallow back what he was about to say and, just like during the day, stood guard outside Jiang Ru's door.
They couldn't stay for long because there were too many people coming and not enough rooms, so Song Shu gave up her room and she shared a room with Jiang Ru.
With Song Shu in the room, it wouldn't be appropriate for Pei Wu to stay any longer, so he had to give up and return to his own room.
He and Xie Jun shared a room, their lives clearly separated. One slept on the floor while the other slept on the bed. Apart from the initial polite greetings, they barely interacted.
Having finally arrived in Tangzhou, Pei Wu was turned away several times in just half a day. Frustrated, he was also ignored by Jiang Ru. This was the first time he had ever experienced such a feeling. So depressed, he lay on his makeshift bed on the floor, exhausted but unable to fall asleep.
But if he had to choose again, he would still do the same thing. He didn't think he had done anything wrong, but Jiang Ru was still angry with him.
After tossing and turning a couple of times, Xie Jun on the bed was attracted by his movements and asked with great interest, "What's going on between you and your cousin? Tell me."
It's a long story, and Pei Wu didn't want to bring up his sad past, so he said perfunctorily, "It's nothing."
Xie Jun loved watching a good show, especially this kind of drama. Pei Wu didn't want to talk about it, but his gossip-loving spirit hadn't subsided, and he continued to ask questions with great interest. Pei Wu answered a few questions, but seeing that Xie Jun was getting more and more enthusiastic, he didn't want to continue talking to him, so he turned his head and pretended to be asleep.
He rarely treats people this rudely, but Xie Jun is one of the exceptions.
Seeing that he couldn't get anything out of Pei Wu, he offered Pei Wu a suggestion: "I have a way."
This time, Pei Wu finally looked at him properly. He turned around and looked at Xie Jun on the bed. He didn't say anything, but his eyes were full of "Speak quickly."
Xie Jun then whispered, "I've observed you before. You're too restrained and polite. If you hug her without saying a word and say some nice things, she definitely won't be angry with you anymore."
Hearing the nonsense, Pei Wu turned around and covered his ears.
Xie Jun thought he was kindly reminding Pei Wu, but Pei Wu treated him like this. He was furious and angrily covered himself with the blanket: "I will never teach you again."
The two disliked each other from the start, and now their already antagonistic relationship has been further fueled. The next morning, Song Shu saw Xie Jun, who was furious and asked, "What's wrong with you?"
Xie Jun glared angrily at Pei Wu, as if he wanted to pierce a hole in him with his eyes. His gaze was fierce and menacing, as if he wanted to devour Pei Wu alive.
Song Shu followed his gaze and looked over. Pei Wu was reserved, unlike Xie Jun, who wore his heart on his sleeve. Xie Jun had been in the army for many years and was usually careless in his speech and impulsive in his actions. Sometimes he didn't even know that he had offended anyone.
Compared to Xie Jun's anger, Pei Wu appeared calm and composed. Perhaps he was also aggrieved, but he didn't show it on his face. Song Shu immediately punched Xie Jun: "Why are you bullying others for no reason?"
Xie Jun never expected Song Shu to side with outsiders like this. Even though Pei Wu was the one who treated him coldly, Song Shu assumed he was wrong without even asking.
Xie Jun was speechless with disbelief, pointing at himself in shock: "What did I do? I didn't bully him at all."
Song Shu was skeptical: "You told me about his faults before. I know Pei Wu's character. You didn't say anything to him last night, did you?"
Xie Jun: "..."
He felt frustrated and resentful, watching Pei Wu bustling about, feeding the horses and helping with the cooking, without a moment's rest. Did Song Shu think that his quiet hard work made him an honest person?
Xie Jun was dissatisfied and followed Pei Wu like a tail, doing whatever Pei Wu did, determined to be completely transformed in Song Shu's eyes.
The two men sat around the stove tending the fire. Xie Jun was adding to the chaos by stuffing firewood all over the stove, only to have it taken out by Pei Wu. He tried to stuff more firewood in, but Pei Wu gave him a sidelong glance, and Xie Jun finally stopped causing trouble.
Although Pei Wu was tending the fire, he was distracted. He kept glancing outside, trying to catch a glimpse of Jiang Ru. Jiang Ru had just gone out and refused to let Pei Wu follow her, so Pei Wu could only wait for her in the courtyard.
Finally, a familiar figure appeared outside the courtyard gate, wearing a light yellow ruqun (a type of traditional Chinese dress), carrying a bamboo basket full of beans.
There are some crops growing near the house. Jiang Ru picked some beans this morning to cook. When he saw Jiang Ru come in, Pei Wu stopped burning the fire, quickly stood up and walked to Jiang Ru's side, taking the basket from her hand.
Jiang Ru handed it to him, and Pei Wu took the beans to wash them. While he washed the beans, Xie Jun followed suit. After a while, Pei Wu finally couldn't stand it anymore and asked, "What are you doing?"
Xie Jun replied matter-of-factly, "To wash beans."
Pei Wu reminded him, "The fire isn't ready yet."
Xie Jun gestured towards the earthen stove, and Pei Wu realized that the task of starting the fire had already been done by others. He looked away and tacitly agreed to let Xie Jun follow him.
Soon, Xie Jun said sourly, "You acted so well that even Song Shu thought I was bullying you."
The moment those words were spoken, Song Shu and Jiang Ru, who were also observing the two people washing beans, whispered, "Did you figure it out?"
Jiang Ru nodded seriously: "It seems so."
Just now, Song Shu told him that Xie Jun and Pei Wu disliked each other and that Pei Wu had been wronged, but she didn't believe it. Now, looking at the two of them, they were washing beans but didn't talk to each other, and each of them had a cold face.
Xie Jun, in particular, seemed to have just made a provocative remark to Pei Wu.
Jiang Ru hesitated, though: "I don't think Xie Jun is that kind of person."
No matter what, he's the man Song Shu has chosen, so he shouldn't bully others.
However, Song Shu curled her lips in disdain: "He wouldn't do that, but he's a bit..." Song Shu thought of a word to describe him, "...careless and might say something that upsets your cousin without him even realizing it."
Upon hearing this, Jiang Ru carefully observed Pei Wu's expression. Compared to Xie Jun's enthusiasm, Pei Wu only occasionally responded to Xie Jun's words, and the two did not seem to get along very well.
No matter how much of a cold war they were in, she would still care when she saw Pei Wu get the short end of the stick. The two of them had finally finished washing the beans, and Pei Wu was about to take the beans over to cook them when Xie Jun followed behind him.
Pei Wu had never been bullied, but in Jiang Ru's eyes, he was a pure and innocent girl, pitiful and wronged.
Jiang Ru couldn't resist her inner turmoil and called out Pei Wu's name.
Pei Wu paused for a moment before responding. He hadn't expected Jiang Ru to call him first. He stood there, looking at Jiang Ru with unease.
Jiang Ru beckoned to him, and Pei Wu immediately put down what he was holding and walked over to Jiang Ru's side.
The courtyard was so small that anyone could easily overhear what they were saying, so Jiang Ru pointed outside the courtyard and called Pei Wu to leave the house.
Early autumn in Tangzhou is slightly cool. As the weather cools down, the scenery in the mountains becomes much more desolate. As far as the eye can see, there are golden withered grasses. It is the dry season, and the water in the streams is only a few trickles. Pine cones fall in the mountains, and the distant green mountains are also covered with gold.
The mountain wind howled noisily, and the stream babbled. The wind was strongest at noon, blowing Jiang Ru's hair wildly. Pei Wu walked in front of her, wanting to shield her from the wind.
But this place was right in the middle of the wind, and there was no way to avoid it. Jiang Ru was blown around silently, her face drooping, wondering if she was being blown around in a mess.
She stood under the weeping willows by the stream. The willows were only hanging with withered branches and looked wilted. Jiang Ru was annoyed by the wind and muttered, "It's so windy here, why would Song Shu come here?"
Pei Wu didn't hear clearly and gave a puzzled "hmm". Jiang Ru immediately waved her hand to indicate that she hadn't said anything.
The two stayed by the stream where Song Shu and Xie Jun had previously been. Jiang Ru observed Pei Wu's expression and, getting down to business, asked him, "Did you and Xie Jun have a falling out?"
Pei Wu paused for a moment, then shook his head: "No."
Suspecting he was lying, Jiang Ru carefully said, "He might offend you with his behavior. If you're unhappy, you can tell me, and we can have you live separately."
They only have one more day to stay in Tangzhou. If nothing unexpected happens, they can set off tomorrow. Jiang Ru even went out of her way to change rooms for Pei Wu and Xie Jun.
Before Pei Wu could speak, Jiang Ru was already lost in her own thoughts, and whispered, "I heard that you two didn't get along when you first met. You're not good with words, so you must tell me if you've suffered any grievances."
He didn't feel wronged. Although he and Xie Jun didn't get along, they didn't have any conflicts. Pei Wu said, "I'm not wronged."
"Song Shu just told me that you two were giving each other the cold shoulder," Jiang Ru thought Pei Wu was trying to cover things up, and advised, "Don't think there's anything wrong with it. If he did something wrong, I'll have Song Shu teach him a lesson."
This time, Pei Wu finally emphasized: "No, we had a very pleasant conversation last night, and there was no conflict."
Judging from Pei Wu's reaction, he didn't seem to be lying. So they really didn't have any conflict? Jiang Ru asked, puzzled, "But why did he glare at you this morning?"
This time, Pei Wu hesitated for a long time before answering, and even when he did speak, his words were vague: "Song Shu is mistaken."
He doesn't usually lie, and even if he does, it's very obvious. For example, right now, he's clearly hiding something and doesn't want to tell Jiang Ru yet.
Jiang Ru's face darkened: "Tell the truth."
Pei Wu hesitated and refused to speak, so Jiang Ru continued, "Speak, or I'll get angry."
Pei Wu was an idiot. Hearing Jiang Ru say she was going to get angry, he panicked and quickly said, "I'll talk."
Jiang Ru looked at him coldly as he spoke. Pei Wu hesitated for a long time, and finally, under Jiang Ru's increasingly impatient gaze, he gave up and said, "He taught me some ways to calm you down."
Jiang Ru raised an eyebrow, surprised that Xie Jun knew this, and asked curiously, "What?"
Pei Wu visibly froze at this point, but under Jiang Ru's persistent questioning, he finally spoke, as if facing death without fear: "He told me to hug you."
Jiang Ru's expression gradually turned to confusion. It was probably impossible for Pei Wu to hug her in this lifetime, but Xie Jun dared to teach her.
Besides, Jiang Ru is angry right now, and if Pei Wu really does that, she will probably be even angrier.
Jiang Ru roughly understood why Xie Jun was glaring at Pei Wu, and she found it somewhat amusing: "So, because you disagree, he glares at you."
Pei Wu nodded, then added, "Actually, it's not his fault."
It's not Xie Jun's fault, he may have meant well, but it didn't work for Pei Wu. The two of them are immature, they can argue over such a small thing.
Since she was already out with Pei Wu, Jiang Ru decided to be frank and asked him, "Do you know why I'm angry?"
Pei Wu said, "Because I sent you away."
He knew what mistake he had made, and Jiang Ru felt a tightness in her chest when the topic came up: "You knew it, and you still did it."
Pei Wu showed no sign of remorse and said in a low voice, "I can only send you away."
Under those circumstances, the best way to protect Jiang Ru was to send her away. To this day, Pei Wu still has no regrets, especially after seeing the emperor's madness, which made him even more determined in his decision.
So Jiang Ru asked him again, and Pei Wu said, "I will still see you off."
Jiang Ru knew this would be the answer; Pei Wu was unyielding, and once again, she was so angry with him that her chest ached: "What?"
Pei Wu repeated the same sentence. Jiang Ru glared at him. She now felt that Xie Jun was in the same boat as her. It was hard not to be angry at Pei Wu, who was so wooden.
Jiang Ru angrily complained, "You blockhead."
Pei Wu had been called a blockhead by Jiang Ru many times, and he was already used to this nickname. He accepted it skillfully, but when he saw Jiang Ru about to leave again because he was angry, Pei Wu subconsciously called out to her.
Jiang Ru turned around, and he said earnestly, "I did this because I want you to live."
Jiang Ru: What about you?
This time, Pei Wu remained silent for a long time before whispering, "I also want to live, but if we encounter danger, I would prefer you to go first."
He wasn't good at saying nice things; he only said what was in his heart. Jiang Ru sometimes liked his sincerity, and sometimes resented it. He wouldn't even say a kind word to Jiang Ru.
Jiang Ru's heart wasn't made of stone. Although she was still angry, she would soften towards Pei Wu. Rather than having a cold war with Pei Wu, she wanted to ask him many questions: how he spent his three months in Bianjing, whether he encountered any danger in Bianjing, and how he escaped.
She was still angry, but her worry for Pei Wu was more important. In the end, Jiang Ru couldn't help but ask about Pei Wu's affairs in Bianjing.
Pei Wu then told her everything. Fortunately, the emperor was not afraid of him now and did not necessarily want to kill him, so Pei Wu was able to get away.
He was transferred to Tanzhou, and this time he could truly serve for three years. The emperor would certainly not easily transfer him back. At least in Tanzhou, Pei Wu could actually do some practical things, instead of always feeling like he was walking on thin ice.
After saying that, Pei Wu asked, still somewhat uncertain, "Would you be willing to go to Tanzhou with me?"
When Song Pingzhang went to Shuzhou, Song Shu naturally followed. Jiang Ru and Song Shu were close, and since her hometown was in Shuzhou, Pei Wu was afraid that she might get angry and go back to her hometown instead of following him.
However, as soon as he asked the question, Jiang Ru seemed to think he was joking, and looked at him strangely: "If I don't go to Tanzhou, where will I go?"
Fortunately, she was still willing to stay with Pei Wu, which gave Pei Wu a small sigh of relief. Since Jiang Ru was now easier to talk to, Pei Wu tentatively asked, "So you've finally forgiven me?"
Mentioning this, Jiang Ru immediately became fierce: "Who forgave you? Let me tell you, this is not over. I will remember the wrong you did for the rest of my life."
"A lifetime" is such a long time that Pei Wu didn't know whether he should be happy or not. After all, Jiang Ru would remember him for a lifetime. Pei Wu's lips pursed into a straight line, and he said very softly, "A lifetime is fine too."
"What nonsense are you spouting?" Jiang Ru said, displeased. "Is this all the attitude you've got?"
She was clearly angry, but Pei Wu's mind was filled with all sorts of random thoughts. When she scolded him, Pei Wu acted very obedient, listening to whatever Jiang Ru said to scold him.
Fortunately, he didn't cause any more trouble for Jiang Rulei. Jiang Rulei said aggressively, "Don't think that my concern for you today means I've forgiven you. You'd better think carefully about what else you've done wrong."
Pei Wu still didn't think he had done anything wrong, but since Jiang Ru had said so, he could only admit it. However, he couldn't bring himself to change.
He remained unmoved by reason, his thoughts written all over his face. Jiang Ru grew annoyed. Since Pei Wu hadn't been wronged, Jiang Ru realized she had been presumptuous and turned to leave.
However, at that moment, Pei Wu whispered behind her, "Do you still hate me?"
Jiang Ru was stunned and turned to look at Pei Wu: "What?"
Beneath his thick eyelashes were his usual dark and clear eyes, which were now focused intently on Jiang Ru. It seemed that if Jiang Ru said she hated him, the mist that had just formed in his eyes would shatter, and he would look at Jiang Ru with pitiful, wet eyes, as if Jiang Ru had done something to "abandon her husband and children".
Upon hearing Jiang Ru's question, Pei Wu repeated, "You said you hated me when you were in Bianjing, do you still hate me now?"
She had only said those things in anger and they shouldn't be taken seriously. Jiang Ru wanted to rub salt in Pei Wu's wounds again, but seeing Pei Wu's gaze, she couldn't bring herself to say something against her will. She could only say, "I don't hate you. I was just too angry at the time."
Jiang Ru's words had echoed in Pei Wu's mind countless times over the past three months. Pei Wu was always afraid, afraid that Jiang Ru would hate him. Neither of them had truly confessed their feelings, and he didn't want to mess things up.
If he could, he would like to be with Jiang Ru. He had fantasized about being with Jiang Ru, so he didn't want Jiang Ru to hate him.
Hearing Jiang Ru deny what she said three months ago, Pei Wu finally relaxed, and the gloom around him visibly dissipated.
People always want more. Pei Wu hesitated, wanting to ask more questions. He was busy traveling and might not have a chance to speak with Jiang Ru privately. He was also afraid that Jiang Ru would get impatient and leave. In a moment of impulsiveness, Pei Wu asked, "You said you like me."
Upon hearing this, Jiang Ru stiffened for a moment. In fact, she did not want to confess her feelings to Pei Wu too soon. She had always planned to take things step by step. Moreover, she had not yet recovered from the relationship between her cousin and her cousin. If she were to confirm her relationship with Pei Wu, she might feel uncomfortable.
But since she'd already confessed, Jiang Ru couldn't simply deny it now. She feigned composure: "So what? Didn't you also say you liked me?"
To bolster his courage, he feigned bravado but was actually cowardly, trying to appear fierce in order to scare Pei Wu away.
This matter had to be brought to the surface eventually, no matter how scared Jiang Ru was. It was just a matter of time. Pei Wu's question was a way of breaking through the veil of tension between the two of them.
If that hadn't happened, they should have naturally gotten together after confessing their feelings to each other. But that incident caused their relationship to stagnate three months ago. The change at that time prevented them from rekindling their feelings, and now that they've rekindled their relationship, it just feels wrong.
Admittedly, Jiang Ru really wanted to be in a relationship with Pei Wu, but she felt that the timing wasn't right. They were not only in a cold war, but there were also some things they hadn't discussed. It would be too hasty to get together now, and they might argue about these things in the future.
Moreover, Jiang Ru wasn't quite clear on Pei Wu's meaning, so she asked Pei Wu a question in return, throwing the question back to him.
Pei Wu seemed to have been prepared all along, and admitted without hesitation: "Yes, I like you."
Although he wasn't very knowledgeable about matters of the heart, he could tell when he was attracted to someone, and he could also tell that Jiang Ru had feelings for him.
Given his personality, if Jiang Ru hadn't brought it up, he would have kept it a secret for the rest of his life. So it was quite rare for Pei Wu to ask her about it now.
Having said all that, Pei Wu had no intention of backing down. This was the first time he had ever wanted to hold onto someone so tightly, even though the two were still in a cold war. He wanted to sort things out first.
After expressing his feelings, Pei Wu's previous doubts were all answered. Jiang Ru didn't hate him because of that incident; she still liked him. He was both nervous and happy. It was the happiest moment of his life that he had ever been moved by someone and that the woman he loved also had feelings for him.
Having confirmed Jiang Ru's feelings, Pei Wu sincerely assured her, "I will take responsibility for you."
This statement didn't sound like a romantic invitation; it sounded like something Jiang Ru would say after doing something ambiguous with him. Jiang Ru was stunned: "Did I say you had to take responsibility?"
Pei Wu opened his eyes wide, puzzled by Jiang Ru's words, and asked with some disappointment and frustration, "Why?"
Jiang Ru retorted irritably, "I haven't forgiven you yet, and after you said you liked me, shouldn't you have asked me if I wanted to be with you? I haven't even agreed yet, so what responsibility are you taking?"
Pei Wu seemed to be hearing this for the first time, and he fell into deep thought for a long time because of Jiang Ru's words.
Expecting someone like him to suddenly understand is harder than anything else. Jiang Ru had already given him some pointers, but he still didn't seem to grasp it. Jiang Ru could only remind Pei Wu again: "I haven't forgiven you. As things stand, I can't be with you."
She didn't want Pei Wu to take that step and start a relationship before he realized his mistake. After all, if she agreed to date Pei Wu now, it would be difficult to correct him, and Pei Wu would never be able to realize his mistake.
However, Pei Wu seized on the loophole in her words and completely ignored the fact that she needed Pei Wu to ask for forgiveness first. Instead, he looked at Jiang Ru expectantly and asked, "Would you like to be with me?"
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