"how so?"
"Yi Chenli, is it the poison from that day? It turns out it wasn't cured at all." The girl's eyes were filled with anxiety, and the needle marks on her arm seemed to pierce her heart as well, leaving it riddled with holes.
He must have spent the entire two months in Shengjing trying to find a way to detoxify himself.
How painful it must be to have those needles sticking into your body.
When Yi Chenli was a child, the Empress's people secretly pricked him with needles. Although Yi Chenli didn't say anything at the time, An Yuan'er knew that the punishment Yi Chenli hated most was being pricked with needles.
It was a double torment of mind and body, reminding him of his unbearable past, the days when he was not loved by his father, and the days when he was disabled and bullied. Those days were the darkest days of Yi Chenli's life.
Every time he received acupuncture, it reminded Yi Chenli of that period, a time of both mental and physical torment.
Just thinking about the suffering Yi Chenli might have endured over the past two months, An Yuan'er couldn't stop crying.
It turns out that she would cry when he died, and she would cry when he was alive.
"Round and chubby, what am I supposed to do?"
"I knew you would be so sad and heartbroken, which is why I chose to leave this way without telling you."
“A short pain is worse than a long one. The slow, agonizing pain is far more suffocating than a fatal blow. I don’t want you to suffer like this every day.”
Yi Chenli's voice was very low, like a trapped beast struggling in despair: "You said you would stay with me forever, and follow me wherever I go? But Xiao Yuan'er, do you know that the word 'forever' is too much of a luxury for me?"
"That funeral, my death, was not a deception on my part. Perhaps it was just that I foresaw my own end."
“Round and chubby, what can I do for you now? I never regret taking that arrow for you that day. What I regret is that I couldn’t save myself and watched myself gradually decline. I was just a flesh and blood body after all, unable to resist fate.”
Yi Chenli's thoughts were in turmoil, like threads, tangled and intertwined.
He understood the girl; he left secretly, not wanting to cause her further pain. But in the end, she still found out.
In Yi Chenli's eyes, the girl had grown from a tiny figure into a radiant and dazzling ray of light. Yi Chenli didn't need to elaborate on how beautiful An Yuan'er was. Whenever she walked by, more men would linger on her; she was always captivating.
Yi Chenli's voice was low and sorrowful: "Yuan Gun Gun, tell me how to make up for your seven years, eight months and forty-six days, how to make up for your entire youth."
"I think you know that truly beautiful feelings won't be like the ones between you and me. The person who appears in the future will be about your age and from a similar family. He won't have an inexplicable leg ailment like me, nor will he have such a complicated background and experiences. He will be a man who grew up pampered by a large family. He will be outstanding and reserved. He will always make you happy, unlike me, who always makes you cry."
"He will show you all the beauty in the world and give you the best of everything. You will hug and kiss in the sunshine. Like many couples in love, you will quarrel occasionally, but he will always give in first to coax you when you are angry."
"Once your relationship has stabilized, he will give you the most beautiful wedding, with all the formalities of marriage, eight sedan chairs, and a ten-mile-long red bridal procession to marry you."
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