168 Allow Yourself to Be Afraid
Jiang's mother said worriedly, "I've offended all your uncles this time. What should I do?"
Jiang Yu was incredulous, "Are you still worried about them?"
"Mom, can you tell who your family is?"
Jiang's mother seemed to be deaf to her words, immersed in her own world, and continued to worry:
"You two have no idea how hard it is to live without a man in the house."
Jiang Yu was stunned: "Is my brother a woman?"
"Besides, what's wrong with being a woman? Aren't my sister-in-law and Gao Qingya also women? Look, uncle and aunt wanted to bully others, but they were chased away!"
Jiang Yu gritted her teeth and whispered excitedly, "Mom, my aunt and the others didn't want to help you at all. They just want to create chaos in the world. They can't stand seeing us getting better. They just want to destroy the relationship between you and my sister-in-law."
"You always told my brother and I to get along well with Uncle and the others, saying that if something happened to us, someone would come to our aid. But what have they done for us over the years? Instead, it's my brother who has had to clean up their messes countless times!"
Jiang's mother also didn't understand why her daughter got excited when she mentioned her uncle.
He sighed helplessly, "Yu, he's your father's brother. Family members should help each other. Your brother is capable, so what's wrong with helping his uncle?"
Thinking of the commotion that afternoon, Jiang's mother said sadly, "Now it's like this. Things have gotten so bad, and I don't know how to apologize so that they will forgive your brother."
Jiang Yu felt as if a surge of anger had rushed to his head, but was blocked by his mother's reaction, and he couldn't breathe either up or down.
A strong feeling of powerlessness spread throughout her body. Jiang Yu took two deep breaths and thought, forget it, she shouldn't have any expectations of her mother.
"You can't offend them. They are your uncle and aunt. If we offend them, our lives will be difficult." Jiang's mother murmured to herself.
There's no hope! Jiang Yu strode out of the kitchen and into the yard.
She also wanted to go over and watch a movie.
But his feet were nailed to the kitchen door and he couldn't move forward.
What right does she have to despise her mother?
She's a coward herself.
Jiang Yu looked at the backs of the Gao Qinghe sisters under the movie screen, envying them and feeling guilty and disgusted with herself for doing nothing today.
What was the difference between her and her mother in the farce this afternoon?
It's just that one is hiding behind others, and the other is hiding alone in a corner.
Jiang Yu couldn't understand why he always felt an inexplicable panic and was afraid of this and that.
But what is she afraid of?
I can’t answer this question, but I’m just afraid, always afraid.
It seems that ever since I became conscious, I have been afraid of this and that.
This afternoon she asked herself, so what if I'm not afraid?
Not afraid of being suppressed by elders, not afraid of being laughed at by fellow villagers, not afraid of being pointed at by others.
It doesn't seem like anything will happen.
What to be afraid of?
She is just afraid of being suppressed, pointed at, and laughed at.
It doesn't seem like anything will happen.
You see, Gao Qinghe and Gao Qingya don’t care about anyone’s opinion at all.
I remembered the scene in the afternoon where my eldest uncle, second uncle, third uncle and fourth uncle were driven away in disgrace.
Jiang Yu just felt unprecedented pleasure!
But she still didn't dare to stand in front of these elders and speak out.
In the yard, the area illuminated by the movie screen was bright.
And where Jiang Yu was standing at the moment, a few rays of light flashed from time to time.
She stared at the person in the light for a long time, and her hands hanging on both sides gradually clenched into fists, as if she had made some kind of decision.
Jiang Yu let out a breath and decided to allow herself to be a scared coward for now.
.......
After the movie "Shaolin Temple" was over, the audience was reluctant to leave.
Old Ding played another movie for everyone before they reluctantly left.
In the yard that was bustling during the day, only a few people from home are left.
Zhaozhuang is a village the size of a small town, and 60% of the residents are coal miners' families.
The workers have high wages and their living conditions are much better than those in the surrounding villages.
It only takes ten minutes to walk from Zhaozhuang to the town, and about forty minutes to ride a bike to the county seat.
The Jiang family's old house is built along the main road into the town, with a road just outside the door.
Across the road, there are vast rice fields and the only sound you can hear is the croaking of frogs.
Jiang's mother seemed to have gone back to her room to rest, and she was not seen.
Gao Qingya yawned and went with Jiang Yu to the newly built bathroom in the northeast corner of the yard to wash up.
Jiang Yu didn't talk much. Gao Qingya watched two movies and cursed all day long, so he didn't have the energy to build interpersonal relationships.
The two girls of similar age washed up in silence and returned to their room in silence.
The bed in Jiang Yu's room is 1.5 meters long, which is quite spacious for two little girls.
Gao Qingya fell on the mat and fell asleep, just like she was at home.
After lying down for a while, she felt the night wind was a little cold. Not feeling wronged at all, she patted the person next to her and asked Jiang Yu to get a thin blanket to cover her stomach.
Jiang Yu has been sleeping in a room by herself since she was six years old.
When relatives come to stay overnight at her house, she would rather sleep on the hard wooden sofa with a pillow than share the bed with others.
The reason I could tolerate Gao Qingya today was because she showed her prowess and chased away the bad relatives.
Unexpectedly, this person was not shy at all and treated this as his own room.
Jiang Yu was not idle today. He was tired and sleepy, and lay down without wanting to move.
I thought that the person next to me would fall asleep soon and I would forget everything when he fell asleep.
Unexpectedly, a hand reached out and pushed her off the bed.
Jiang Yu was startled and thought she was going to hit him.
When I stood up and looked, I saw that the person on the bed had his eyes closed and was snoring softly.
Gao Qingya has always been restless when sleeping, and whoever sleeps with her will be in trouble.
Jiang Yu saw it for the first time and was stunned and a little angry.
She put on her glasses and went to the cupboard to find a thin blanket.
I covered her belly with the quilt, thinking that she would be obedient now.
An arm was stretched across his neck.
The heavy weight made Jiang Yu almost unable to breathe.
The timid girl got angry, took the arm off her neck, and turned her back to sleep.
Gao Qinghe was unaware of what was happening in the small room next door.
Seeing that the light on the window was off, I thought the two of them had fallen asleep in harmony.
Gao Qinghe said that this old house was familiar.
If I say I'm not familiar with it, it's because I haven't been there for decades.
However, I still have a vague impression of the general layout of the old house.
This one-and-a-half-story bungalow was built when Grandpa Jiang Baohai was still alive. The residential land was approved in 1976 and completed in 1977.
There are four rooms, a living room, and a small kitchen on the east side.
The old man planned to build it as a retirement home, and all his private money was used on this house.
Unfortunately, the old man passed away just after the house was built and he didn’t get to enjoy any happiness.
As for why the house ended up in Jiang Baohai’s father’s hands, it’s a long story.
When the old man was ill, the three brothers discussed the issue of their parents' retirement. The two older brothers were unwilling to do so, so Jiang Baohai's father took on the responsibility of caring for them.
So before the old man died, he left a will that the house would be given to whoever took care of him and his wife until they died.
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