One Hundred and Five:
Chu Cheng hugged him and held his hand tightly. Ji Qingzhou wanted to pull his hand away, but the slightest movement made him hold it even tighter, so tight that it hurt Ji Qingzhou.
"Let me go." Ji Qingzhou said again, "You have to let me go, let me go."
"I miss you so much." Chu Cheng didn't respond to his words, and just kept talking to himself, "I miss you so much every day. I've dreamed of you several times, but sometimes I can't even see you in my dreams. Can you let me hold you for a while? Just for a while."
Ji Qingzhou said nothing. He felt Chu Cheng's embrace and listened to his words in his ears. He felt that Chu Cheng was giving him an illusion again, an illusion that he liked him.
He did not push Chu Cheng away. If possible, he would never want to push Chu Cheng away. He even subconsciously thanked Chu Cheng for holding his hand and not letting him push him away, so that when he recalled this relationship in the future, he could say without regret, "I didn't do anything against my will. Although separation is sad, every step was what I wanted."
Chu Cheng hugged him for a long time before silently widening the distance between them. He looked at the person in front of him and gently stroked the back of his hand with his thumb. However, as soon as Ji Qingzhou moved, he stopped.
"I let go," he said, "I let go, so you don't have to push me away. Remember, no matter what happens at any time, you can come to me, understand?"
Ji Qingzhou nodded.
Chu Cheng felt that he was just perfunctorily treating him, just like he had perfunctorily promised him to accept the house before they left. He took Ji Qingzhou's hand and kissed the back of his hand. Ji Qingzhou was burned by his sudden kiss and looked up at him reflexively. Chu Cheng saw him looking at him, smiled slightly, and then, while he was puzzled, lowered his head and kissed the back of his hand again. Ji Qingzhou unconsciously pulled his hand away.
Chu Cheng loosened his grip slightly, and he pulled it out easily.
"I let you go." Chu Cheng, "Go back, you can go back now."
Ji Qingzhou looked at him and felt the back of his right hand burning hot. He took one last look at Chu Cheng and turned to walk towards the elevator.
Chu Cheng watched him leave, his eyes slowly dimming. He thought, if he was younger and more frivolous, if he was more impulsive, he would go over to stop Ji Qingzhou, hug him and say, "Come back, I like you", and he would not be able to resist kissing him. He underestimated Ji Qingzhou's influence on him. When he couldn't see him, he would miss him and think about whether he really liked him. But when he saw him, he just wanted to hold him in his arms and let him stay by his side.
Habits can become addictive, and he has become too accustomed to the feeling of having Ji Qingzhou.
Chu Cheng sighed, turned around and got into the car.
Ji Qingzhou took the elevator all the way back to the floor where Wang Fang's ward was. Wang Fang was still chatting with Ying Nian. When she saw him come in, she smiled and said, "You're back."
Ying Nian teased him, "You've been gone for quite a long time."
"It must be something to do with Chu," Wang Fang understood very well, "They always have a lot to talk about."
Ji Qingzhou smiled as a response.
He walked to the chair next to Wang Fang's bed and sat down, thinking that he and Chu Cheng couldn't go on like this forever. Although he had put away his feelings, feelings were like the sunshine between fingers, which could be cut off at any time. After all, he had liked Chu Cheng, so he would still feel soft-hearted when he saw Chu Cheng, but they couldn't go on like this forever.
Chu Cheng could afford to waste time. He could appear in front of him again and again, and he could play the emotional card with him, but he couldn't afford to waste time, and he didn't want to waste time like this. His love should have a brilliant ending when he left. If he continued to waste time, it would only tarnish the beauty of the past in the struggle, and that was not what he wanted to see.
Ji Qingzhou made a decision at this moment. He didn't want to meet Chu Cheng again.
He wanted to send this message to Chu Cheng via WeChat, but he was worried that he should be driving now, so he waited until he returned home after visiting Wang Fang and Ying Nian. When the moon was high above the willow branches, he sent a WeChat message to Chu Cheng, "Are you home yet?"
Chu Cheng replied quickly: Here we are.
He didn't expect Ji Qingzhou to send him a WeChat message, and he even felt it was not real. Since Ji Qingzhou moved out, he never contacted him again. Every time he took the initiative to send a WeChat message or call Ji Qingzhou, Ji Qingzhou just replied briefly without saying a word. Now, he actually sent him a WeChat message.
Chu Cheng was more delighted than surprised.
However, his joy disappeared the next second.
"Let's not meet again." Ji Qingzhou's words appeared in the dialog box. Chu Cheng saw a line of words next to his avatar, "Like you said, let go."
Chu Cheng was stunned. He looked at the text in the dialog box and wanted to reply, but he seemed to have lost the strength. He never liked people who pestered him, and he was most annoyed by others pestering him, but now, he seemed to have become the one pestering him.
Chu Cheng put down his phone, looked up and walked forward, but saw the roses in the glass bottle on the balcony. The roses were dim in the moonlight outside the window. Chu Cheng walked over, turned on the balcony light, and looked at the roses quietly.
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