My name is Pei Jianhui, a person who has had a miserable life since childhood but not a miserable life at all.
The first time I realized my miserable life was when I was five years old. My father worked like a slave and earned five dollars, which he gave to my grandmother without leaving a penny. My grandmother praised him for his ability in person and turned around to give the money to my uncle.
After my uncle refused, grandma made delicious dinner, but only my uncle ate it. She left a little for him at every meal, while we, including my dad, could only drink thin porridge.
My mother said that our family has a hard life.
The only happiness I had as a child was when my clothes got torn. My mother would put a small animal on the hole, and you couldn’t tell it was a patch at all. My friends were so envious of me. Some of them even tore their clothes on purpose and asked their mother to mend them, but in the end all they got was a scolding and a big patch.
Some people even ate fried bamboo shoots with meat.
Every time this happens, I think, I should be the happiest child, right?
But happiness cannot be eaten. Grandma holds the lifeline of my family. Other families who are not as well off as ours can have enough food to eat, but in our family, except for my uncle, everyone has to go hungry.
I used to hate my uncle, but he always gave me an egg or half a pancake when I was very hungry, so I couldn't hate him anymore. He was really a nice guy.
My cousin Pei Hehui, who is the same age as me, knows more than me and is also very smart. My dad often says that his father is not honest and is a troublemaker who stirs up trouble at home and makes my grandmother worry.
I was thinking, if Uncle San is a shit-stirring stick, then what are we? Shit? We might as well be a stick.
At least the trouble maker's son can have enough to eat.
Pei Hehui told me: "My father said that we should divide the family. Only by dividing the family can we have enough food to eat."
I don’t know what separation of family means, but I remember the saying that only by separating the family can one have enough food to eat.
I told my father about it that night and he slapped me. He said if I talked to others about dividing the family property again, he would treat me as if I were not his son.
Isn’t separation a good thing?
From then on, I never mentioned it again. It’s not that I didn’t want to have enough food, but that I didn’t want to be beaten.
When he was seven years old, my fourth uncle was tricked by my grandmother into going home to get married.
I saw my grandmother put drugs in the wine that my fourth uncle drank. I didn't know it was medicine at that time, I just saw it was white powder. I told my eldest brother and he said it was medicine, medicine that would help my fourth uncle get married.
But isn't Fourth Uncle the most powerful person in the family? Why can't he find a wife?
Although I don’t understand, I don’t know why, but I feel a little sorry for Fourth Aunt.
Later, after my fourth uncle and aunt got married, my fourth aunt began to teach us to read. I especially liked reading, and I thought people like my fourth aunt, whose heads were filled with knowledge, were really beautiful. I also wanted to become a learned person like my fourth aunt.
After my fourth uncle got married, the family wanted to split up. My grandmother refused and made a scene at home. My eldest uncle didn't want to split up, and my dad didn't want to split up either. My third and fourth uncles wanted to split up. I also heard my eldest aunt chatting with my mom and saying that she wanted to split up. My third aunt also wanted to split up. I don't know about my fourth aunt, but she wants to split up too, right?
I remembered the saying again: only by dividing the family can we have enough food.
Because of the intervention of the clan's great ancestor, the division of the family went quite smoothly. We temporarily moved to the team to live, and we also had to build a house together with the families of our third and fourth uncles.
That’s great! From now on I can be neighbors with my favorite aunt.
My dad has been in a bad mood since the family split up. I don't know where he heard some bad things about Fourth Aunt that day, so he said that studying was useless and didn't allow me to go to school. My mom tried to persuade him, saying that grandma said studying was good, so it must be good to study. My dad slapped her in the face.
He said he had studied, but now he is still farming at home? What good can that be?
My mother didn't dare to say anything, so I made a fuss with him. I said I wanted to study. My father beat me up and said that I was only thinking about those useless things and that I might as well do more work at home.
The next day when I was about to go to class, my father beat me again and locked me up, and wouldn't let me out no matter how much I cried.
I didn't eat lunch and my mom cried anxiously. My dad said that I had never been hungry before and I would be obedient after two days of hunger.
I won't behave myself even if I'm hungry for a few days. I have made an agreement with Teacher Ruan that I will continue to study hard. I cannot give up studying halfway. This is what Teacher Ruan taught me.
I was hungry in my room for the whole day. I had never been so hungry before and felt like I was starving to death. At noon, my mother asked me to apologize to my father and say we would talk about studying later.
I refused. If I gave in once, I would have to give in every time. Teacher Ruan said that wrong things should not be tolerated.
Even though he is my dad.
When I was so hungry that I was dizzy and unconscious, the door of the room opened. Teacher Ruan, who came in with my mother, was like a ray of light. When I saw her, I couldn't help but feel sore in my eyes and wanted to cry.
From then on, my grandma moved into our house. Although I started going to school again, I couldn’t eat enough again!
My grandmother was so domineering in our family that she wouldn’t let my mother cook rice. We could only drink porridge at home. The amount of rice grains in a bowl of porridge could be counted on two hands.
Although I was very hungry, I still insisted on studying. My brothers and sisters at home would often leave some food for me. As for Teacher Ruan, I knew she loved me, so I would show weakness in front of her so that she could teach me more things.
This period of hunger continued until grandma broke dad's kneecap.
Grandma ran away, dad became a disabled person, and mom could cook rice again. She was very happy, and my sister and I were also very happy.
And ever since Dad was injured, he no longer has the energy to hit me and Mom.
He almost beat my sister to death once. To be honest, I don’t like my dad very much.
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