It was a long time before I learned about the term sexual abuse. At that time, I just felt that Pei Qinggang's behavior was wrong, but I couldn't explain why.
Every time they quarreled, Pei Qinggang would force Wu Xinghua to have sex with him.
That time, Wu Xinghua really didn't care about anything. She cried to Mrs. Pei and told her everything.
It turned out that she had suffered so much injustice in a place where no one knew about it.
Mrs. Pei, who had always advised reconciliation rather than separation, also changed her mind and began to feel sorry for Wu Xinghua. She asked Pei Qinggang to write a letter of guarantee that if it happened again, she would definitely persuade Wu Xinghua to divorce.
Why write a letter of guarantee? Can't you just persuade them to leave?
I was so angry! But I found that I had no other options.
And as soon as I turned 20, my family started urging me to get married.
I saw her at her most broken, but I was powerless to do anything because I was also overwhelmed by the pressure from my family to deal with my own affairs.
At that time, I really didn't understand what love was. When my family urged me to get married, I was full of resistance to marriage when I thought of Pei Qinggang and Wu Xinghua's lovey-dovey days.
I said I bought a boy with decent looks to act with me, and I acted like I wanted him to be my boyfriend, and announced in front of everyone in the family that my sexual orientation was male.
Grandpa and the others were furious because the cousin from my uncle's family had his brain damaged when he was a child and his IQ has always been that of a child. They didn't expect him to get married and have children.
The morals of the family members are relatively high. They are afraid that if their cousin marries a wife, it will harm her life, so they have never thought about finding a wife for him. They just want to support him and let him live a safe and worry-free life.
So why did the responsibility of carrying on the family line fall on me alone? I often scolded my father and asked him to try to have another child with my mother.
What I didn’t know was that they had indeed tried hard to relieve my stress, but trying hard doesn’t necessarily mean there will be results. The result of their efforts was that they finally placed their hopes on me.
This made me particularly upset, as my sexual orientation was not a factor they approved of, and they tried their best to arrange blind dates for me, hoping that I could meet more high-quality women and thus change my sexual orientation.
I have no interest in marriage in the first place, and it’s not a question of sexual orientation at all. Going on blind dates like this one after another will only make me more disgusted with marriage.
Later, I learned a trick and forged my own medical certificate to show to my grandfather. I knew that my grandfather had very high moral standards, so I said to him, "Grandpa, I hurt my body when I tried to lose weight before. With my current physical condition, I really don't want to delay any girl."
When my grandfather read my physical examination report, he might have thought of my previous physical problems. After all, I went from being so fat to a normal weight in a short time. Anyone could have problems with their body, right?
He didn't suspect too much, but just waved me out exhaustedly.
When I was about to walk out the door, he stopped me again and said, "Asthenospermia is not azoospermia. It's still possible. If you meet someone you like and she doesn't care, you can give it a try."
From then on, I no longer had to worry about being urged to get married.
At that time, I didn't think there was anything wrong with doing this. I just didn't want to become a machine for carrying on the family line. Why must I carry on the family line? There's no throne to inherit in my family.
After getting away from my family, I returned to Xi County again.
Mrs. Pei was quite surprised. She thought I would never come back, but she also expressed welcome for my arrival.
"Now Yuanzheng and Nian Nian have all gone out to develop their careers. There aren't many elderly people left at home. We are all scattered all over the country. We are not sure whether we can get together again in the future. If you are willing to come back, we will definitely welcome you to come back at any time."
She has attended literacy classes in recent years and also studied literature courses with her children for a period of time. Now she speaks in a more elegant manner.
It’s just that some accents are probably something we’ve been used to since childhood and have never changed.
I pretended to be gossipy and asked her about what had happened to Wu Xinghua during this period, with a look of deep sorrow on my face.
"I originally thought that Brother Wolf was a good person and I admired him quite a bit. But judging from what he did to Sister Xinghua, I really feel sorry for her. She was fine at the beginning, how come she became like that later?"
When Mrs. Pei talked about this matter, she talked nonstop and told them everything that had happened to them during this period of time.
Finally, she sighed, "I think that Brother Wolf has really changed a lot. It's harmful to Xinghua's health and heart to be with him. I just can't say it. Otherwise, I would have directly advised for a divorce. If my man dares to treat me like this, you can just give him a few big slaps and take him to get a divorce certificate."
My heart was pounding as I listened to the whole process.
I don’t know why it was beating so fast, as if it was going to jump out of my chest in the next second.
After listening to what Mrs. Pei said, I sighed like her.
"If I had known that Sister Xinghua would become like this after coming here, I would not have allowed her to come here to get information. Maybe she would be happier and more comfortable under my care."
Mrs. Pei then remembered that Wu Xinghua used to follow me, but all those things are in the past. She asked me to come to her house for dinner when I have time.
I'm so free.
But I can't stay here.
I already knew that Wu Xinghua was going to go out and see the world after her confinement, so how could I stay here any longer? Of course I would just follow her and continue to watch the show.
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