After the normal ceremony, we got married not long after.
After getting married, I followed my teacher's advice and hid the skills I had learned. Apart from the fact that my clothes were a little more exquisite than those of ordinary people, I didn't reveal anything outstanding.
After I got married, my mother stopped doing those extra things to make a living. She said that I would learn these skills when I could show them off one day.
When will I be able to show my talent? My teacher said that when they are rehabilitated, I can spread this skill.
I waited for the news of their rehabilitation, but it never came. Until I gave birth to Jianhui and Xiaodan, I lived a numb life day by day in my husband's house.
Others say that I appear to be silent on the surface, but I am actually full of calculations in my heart. I have never denied it and just live my life seriously.
When Pei Qingbai beat me, I wasn't actually that sad. Life had to go on. There were so many men in the village who beat their wives. Why should I, your husband, be an exception?
It's enough to just get by. There's no need to risk your life for a person or a thing.
Actually, I didn't have much expectations for the days after the separation. After all, I had already realized before the separation that my husband was not a very good person.
All I could do was listen to him and ask him not to hit her too hard. After all, I still had to wash clothes and cook for my two children.
Sometimes I feel that life is too tiring for women. There is always something that traps me. I really want to put it all aside and go out to see the big world.
Go and see the wonderful and impermanent world that my teacher told me about.
After the separation, when my mother-in-law moved into my house, I actually felt a little relieved. After all, if it were just me and my husband, whatever I did would be wrong, and the slightest argument would result in a severe beating.
My mother-in-law would at least stop him from hitting me too hard. Who would do the work if I got hurt?
It's just a pity for the two children, who always don't have enough to eat. Jianhui is okay. Knowing my fourth brother's wife, she won't just watch the children starve.
As for Xiaodan, I could only save some rice soup to feed her. When cooking, I would throw a sweet potato or taro into the fire and roast it, and then feed it to her where my mother-in-law couldn't see.
I don’t know when days like this will end. If I have to be trapped here for the rest of my life, what shall I do with all the skills I have learned from my teacher?
The teacher had already given up hope, but after meeting me, a glimmer of hope was rekindled. She hoped that in my long life journey, her skills could be passed on and not die in her hands.
But how can I pass it on?
I admit that I do have a lot of little thoughts, but I have never cared about trivial matters. I have always been humble and obedient, listened to my man, and slowly planned for the future.
At that time, I never thought that I would have the opportunity to go out and take a look.
Later, my husband injured his knee, and my life became even more desperate. Although he couldn't hit me during the time of his injury, I kept wondering if I would have to spend the rest of my life taking care of him?
After he gradually recovered, I was actually relieved. I even discovered very early on that he went out to gamble, but I didn't say anything. I just hoped that he would spend less time at home.
When a person shows obvious changes, is there anything that the person next to him or her can't notice?
I really hope that he will continue to live like this in the future, and come home less and less often. Of the money I earn from my fourth brother's wife, I will save a little for the two children, and spend the rest on gambling and prostitution.
I didn't stop him at all at that time. I believed what the teacher said, that some people who do evil will eventually suffer the consequences. I had never been to school, so the teacher explained the meaning of these words to me. She also said that she hoped I could read some books when I had time.
It’s not to say that reading is necessarily more noble than farming, but reading can indeed make people wise, and can make people know what is good, what is evil, what is morality, and what is etiquette.
I did not disappoint my teacher's expectations. When Jianhui was studying, I often took time to study with him. I told him that no matter how difficult the road to study was, no matter what his father thought, I would always support him.
At that time, I didn’t know what future prospects there were for studying. I only knew that my fourth brother, his wife, and my teachers were all very supportive of studying.
Later, my man's death was actually an accident. No matter how much I wanted to get rid of him, I never thought of killing him.
That day I brought some porridge back for Xiaodan, but he knocked the lunch box over with a flick of his hand and tried to hit Xiaodan. I could only hold Xiaodan tightly in my arms and let him hit me on my back.
Normally I tell Jianhui to be patient and not to conflict with his father.
Maybe because he saw how hard his father beat me, he rushed over without caring about anything, knocked his father to the ground, and then grabbed the pillow on the bed and pressed his father down tightly.
I was only concerned with seeing if Xiaodan in my arms was injured, and didn't care what Jianhui did. When I finished checking Xiaodan's condition and was feeling sorry for her burns, I heard Jianhui's trembling voice.
"Mom...Mom...I, I killed someone...I killed someone..."
My pupils suddenly dilated uncontrollably and vibrated violently. I put Xiao Dan aside and walked over to feel my man's breath with my hands shaking violently.
I really can't feel it at all.
Fear...excitement...alternated back and forth in my mind.
Finally, I forced back my tears and made up my mind - I was the one who killed him, and Jianhui had nothing to do with it!
But I didn’t expect that Jianhui, that silly kid, would actually blow himself up.
My life is already like this, so what if I lose another life? But he is different, he has just started, and my fourth brother's wife said he has literary talent, I can't let him be ruined by such a father.
Fortunately, I was not wrong about these brothers and sisters-in-law in my family. My husband’s death was finally classified as an accident and had nothing to do with me or Jianhui.
Although they didn't say anything, Jianhui still started to have nightmares every night. I knew he was just a young boy and it was hard for him to get over it, so I started to learn how to persuade him.
Using the underworld described by the old people, they built a world for him where one could live well as long as he did good deeds. This motivated Jianhui to study hard and accumulate enough good deeds for his father in the future, so that his sins would be washed away.
Later, I don’t know what my fourth brother’s wife said to Jianhui, but he became noticeably more cheerful and smiled more often. He told me that he must study hard and that it would be best if he could follow in his fourth aunt’s footsteps for the rest of his life.
My children are so motivated, so as a mother, I can’t fall behind.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
