Chapter 52 Mutual Torture: Every Pleasure Feels Like Torture
This news was like a boulder thrown into a calm lake, creating a huge uproar in the imperial harem.
The concubines who were still virgins looked at each other, their faces pale.
Consort Xian gripped the handkerchief tightly in her hand, her fingernails almost digging into the silk thread.
She recalled that in the three years she had been in the palace, she had never even touched the emperor's robes, but now she had to watch helplessly as a woman of unknown origin rose to power overnight.
Consort De closed her eyes and twirled her prayer beads, but the increasingly rapid spinning of the beads betrayed the turmoil in her heart.
The most embarrassed person is the Empress. As the Empress, she has not yet received the Emperor's favor, and the Phoenix Seal in her hand is practically useless.
Consort Xian lowered her voice to a whisper, but could not hide her resentment: "We noble ladies from aristocratic families have been learning music, chess, calligraphy and painting since childhood, and have strictly adhered to the precepts of virtuous women. Now we are being overshadowed by a crude woman from the countryside?"
She glanced around, and seeing that no one was paying attention, she sneered, "Your Majesty met her somewhere while you were traveling incognito, and she became pregnant with your child without any matchmaker or betrothal. How is such shameless behavior any different from that of a country bumpkin?"
But when Zhou Ling's cold gaze swept across the hall, everyone fell silent.
The emperor's majesty was like a sword hanging overhead, and no one dared to question him rashly.
...
Inside the Hall of Mental Cultivation, the flickering candlelight cast intermittent light on the solemn faces of several elderly ministers.
Grand Secretary Zhang knelt shakily on the cold, gold-brick floor, his wrinkled forehead pressed against the ground, his body trembling slightly with age.
"Your Majesty!" His voice choked with emotion, "If he is truly the heir of the Emperor, this old minister implores Your Majesty to register the prince in the imperial genealogy as soon as possible, so as to reassure the people and the nation!"
Zhou Ling casually stroked the jade thumb ring on his hand: "I have my own plans."
"Your Majesty!" Another elderly minister couldn't help but raise his head, his white beard trembling slightly. "The royal bloodline cannot be lost. This child's origins are unknown. If he is not included in the imperial register, I fear the court and the people will find it difficult to accept him..."
“Minister Li,” Zhou Ling interrupted calmly, his voice devoid of emotion, “are you questioning me?”
The hall fell into a deathly silence, with only the crackling of the candlelight breaking the silence.
Everyone felt that the child's background was highly suspicious, but the emperor's evasive attitude made people dare not ask any further questions.
...
The moonlight, like water, flowed quietly across the window lattices of Yilan Palace.
Fangru stood alone by the window, the night breeze carrying the unabashed whispers of the palace maids outside.
"I thought Consort Shen was so favored, but it turns out she can't even compare to a country bumpkin."
"His Majesty was so moved by her that day at Fengyi Palace, but now it seems that it was just a passing fancy."
"Indeed, the one in Xianglan Palace is now truly the most favored concubine in the harem..."
Fangru gently closed the carved wooden window, shutting out those harsh words.
The moment the night breeze was blocked, the hall became so quiet that one could hear their own heartbeat.
She shouldn't have cared about these idle gossips.
But for some reason, tonight these words feel like needles pricking my heart, causing a subtle pain.
She suddenly remembered that day on the painted boat at Taiye Pond, when that person's hot breath brushed against her ear.
"I'll just hold you like this while I sleep."
When she first heard those words, she never imagined things would turn out this way.
Fangru shook her head, shaking off those chaotic thoughts.
More important than these pointless gossips was the string of purple jade prayer beads that could grant her freedom.
Once the Buddhist prayer beads are found and rebirth is initiated, all of this can end.
Yes, it will definitely end.
The next morning, she deliberately chose a busy time to stop a young eunuch she didn't recognize on the palace road.
“Sir,” she tried to make her voice sound gentle, “have you ever seen a string of purple jade prayer beads? Each bead is translucent, strung with gold thread…”
The young eunuch stopped and looked her up and down, a half-smile playing on his lips: "You flatter me, Lady Consort. How could I have ever seen such a valuable item before?"
Without waiting for her to ask any more questions, he flicked his whisk and left.
For several days in a row, she took every opportunity to inquire with the palace servants.
Sometimes it's under the guise of a reward, and sometimes it's mentioned casually.
But those eunuchs and palace maids who used to be so attentive now either claim ignorance or make excuses to avoid us.
The moon was exceptionally clear that night. She leaned against the window, gazing at the full moon in the sky, lost in thought.
Memories of her past lives flooded back like a tide. In her first life, she was innocent and carefree, but ultimately destroyed herself for love; in her fourth life, she held immense power in the harem, yet still perished in the conspiracy of the White Sun Society…
Each time she was reborn, she thought she could break free from the net of fate, but each time she sank deeper into the quagmire.
"This time, I must find the Buddhist prayer beads." She murmured to herself, her brows furrowed with weariness, yet a flame burned quietly in her eyes.
The honors and disgraces within the deep palace, the open and covert struggles among the concubines, were all so insignificant compared to the Buddhist prayer beads that could grant her freedom.
...
Incense smoke curled up inside the Phoenix Palace, where the concubines sat upright according to their rank.
Consort Zhi, dressed in a crimson palace gown embroidered with gold, sat close to Zhou Ling without any attempt to conceal her presence.
"The Empress Dowager's birthday banquet is approaching, and the person in charge of the preparations must be carefully selected." The Empress's voice was gentle, but her eyes held a deeper meaning. "They must be familiar with etiquette and understand the Empress Dowager's preferences."
Consort Xian immediately understood and looked at Consort Zhi with a smile: "Your Majesty has recently gained the Emperor's favor. If you were to handle the arrangements, you would surely please the Empress Dowager."
As soon as he finished speaking, several concubines nodded in agreement.
Upon hearing this, Consort Zhi's face flashed with a hint of smugness, but she feigned humility: "This humble servant is foolish and ignorant, I fear..."
"The Imperial Concubine is indeed dull-witted."
Zhou Ling's icy voice was like a bucket of ice water poured over his head.
The smile on Consort Zhi's face froze instantly.
A few suppressed chuckles echoed from inside the hall.
But soon, the snickers subsided.
The concubines exchanged complicated glances. Even though she was publicly reprimanded, Consort Zhi was still the only woman who had given birth to a prince for His Majesty.
This honor is something that these concubines, who have never received the emperor's favor, can never attain.
Consort Xian gripped the teacup in her hand tightly, suddenly finding the provocation from before utterly meaningless.
Ultimately, in the eyes of this cold-hearted emperor, they were probably nothing more than dispensable decorations.
Consort Zhi, who was reprimanded, at least possessed the imperial offspring that they longed for but could not obtain.
The Empress's gaze swept across the faces of the crowd, taking in their resentment, envy, and disappointment, before finally settling on Fangru in the corner.
She was dressed in a moonlit white gown, with only a half-worn magnolia flower in her hair. She was staring down at the gold bricks on the ground, wishing she could hide herself in the shadows.
The Empress picked up her teacup and took a sip, her gaze sweeping over Zhou Ling's slightly moving fingertips. Her smile deepened: "I remember that when Consort Shen was still in her maiden days, she was most skilled at organizing banquets. Back then, even the Empress Dowager praised the ingenuity of the flower viewing party at the Shen residence."
She paused deliberately for a moment, and sure enough, she saw the emperor's hand on the jade thumb ring pause slightly, a focus that he unconsciously revealed.
"Why don't we let Lady Shen organize the birthday banquet?"
Fangru suddenly dug her fingertips into her palm.
These days, she secretly searches for the whereabouts of the Buddhist beads by wandering around.
If I take on this task and am stuck in the preparations all day, how will I find the prayer beads?
What made her even more uneasy was that the Empress's words clearly indicated that she was being used as a pawn, both to suppress Consort Zhi's arrogance and to test the Emperor's intentions.
She really didn't want to get involved in this mess.
"Your Majesty's kindness is too much for me to bear." She bowed her head respectfully and replied, "I am not very knowledgeable and I am afraid that I will fail Your Majesty's expectations."
The hall fell silent.
Everyone held their breath, waiting for the emperor's reaction.
Zhou Ling spun the jade ring on his finger faster and faster, his deep eyes fixed on Fang Ru, who was bowing her head below.
The Empress took in the Emperor's subtle changes in expression, and her smile deepened.
She deliberately raised her voice: "Why be so humble, Consort Shen? Although your rank is not high, you are able to fulfill your filial duties to the Empress Dowager, which is a great blessing."
She paused, her gaze sweeping meaningfully over Zhou Ling: "Your Majesty, don't you agree?"
That was a bold question, and even Consort Xian was sweating bullets.
To everyone's surprise, Zhou Ling did not get angry. Instead, he nodded slightly and said, "The Empress is right."
Fangru's fingertips trembled slightly, but she still insisted, "Your Majesty, my abilities are truly limited, I'm afraid..."
With a soft "bang," the jade thumb ring was slammed heavily onto the table.
Zhou Ling's expression was calm, but frost had already formed in his eyes.
He looked at her downcast eyes and recalled how she had been avoiding him these past few days.
The rejections by the Taiye Pond, the distance in the Yilan Palace, and now even the need to make excuses to fulfill filial duties to the Empress Dowager... Is she really so unwilling to have anything to do with him? Even the opportunity to meet under the guise of official business has to be avoided?
“Chen Cainu,” he said, his voice eerily calm, “raise your head.”
Fangru looked up as instructed, meeting his unfathomable eyes.
"I'll ask you one more time," he slowly rose, "are you truly unwilling to prepare a birthday banquet for the Empress Dowager?"
The question was asked casually, but the deliberately slowed tone of voice startled the perceptive Empress. When had His Majesty ever spoken to a concubine in such a questioning tone?
Fangru could feel the various gazes cast upon her from all around, some mocking, some gloating.
"Your Majesty..." she began with difficulty, "I fear my knowledge and learning are insufficient, and I will fail to live up to your expectations..."
Consort Xian covered the cold smile on her lips with her fan, Consort De shook her head gently while fiddling with her prayer beads, and even the Empress leaned forward slightly. Everyone could see that Consort Shen was going to be severely punished for defying the Emperor's will in public.
To everyone's surprise, Zhou Ling simply stared at her for a moment before turning to the Empress and saying, "Let's choose someone else."
These words were spoken so calmly that the concubines exchanged bewildered glances.
When did Your Majesty become so easy to talk to?
Consort Zhi couldn't help but speak up: "Your Majesty, Consort Shen's behavior..."
"Enough." Zhou Ling glanced at her, and Consort Zhi immediately fell silent.
He gave Fangru a deep look, his gaze filled with disappointment and restraint, but not with the anger that everyone had expected.
"Step down."
These three words, though seemingly casual, stirred up a storm in the hearts of all the concubines in the hall.
His Majesty so casually let Shen Cainu off the hook for disobeying in public?
As he passed Fangru, he paused almost imperceptibly.
Those eyes, which always held such fiery warmth, now seemed frozen, coldly sweeping across her face.
"Take care of yourself."
He left those four words behind, turned and left, never looking back.
Fangru stood there, stunned, watching his departing figure, and suddenly felt as if something was clenching her heart.
The gazes of the concubines in the palace felt like needles piercing her, but she felt nothing at the moment; her mind was filled with the look in his eyes just now.
The concubines looked at each other in bewilderment, but Consort Zhi smiled with a hint of resentment.
As dusk settled, Zhou Ling strolled into the deer park.
The setting sun cast a warm golden glow on the deer's fur, and the clear laughter of a young girl drifted from afar.
He waved his hand to dismiss the servants and hid alone behind an ancient pine tree.
Fangru was bending down to feed a fawn, her fingertips gently stroking its ears, a relaxed smile she had never shown in front of him before.
Lingzi was teasing the fawn with a flower branch, while several palace maids chatted and laughed around.
“Look how friendly it is, Miss Cai,” Lingzi said with a smile. “It must know that you have a kind heart.”
Fangru fed the last bit of bean cake in her palm to the fawn, her voice gentle: "They are much purer than humans. If they like something, they like it. They never pretend to like it."
A gentle evening breeze blew by, and the stray hairs at her temples fluttered lightly in the wind.
Looking at her relaxed brows, Zhou Ling felt as if something was gripping his heart tightly. He realized that she could smile like that and speak so gently.
But all of this had never been his concern.
"If only every day could be this carefree." She sighed softly, her gaze following the leaping deer as they went.
Zhou Ling unconsciously took half a step forward, the pine branches brushing against his robes with a soft sound.
Fangru looked up as if she sensed something, and he immediately disappeared into the depths of the shadows.
After they left, he stood there for a long time.
The deer lay quietly in the grass, their shadows stretched long and solitary by the moonlight.
He recalled her aloof demeanor during the day, and compared it to her bright smile just now, and felt a tightness and pain in his chest.
It turned out that his closeness was such an unbearable burden for her.
...
Yilan Palace.
The flickering candlelight illuminated the solitary figure sitting before the dressing table.
Fangru picked up the jade comb, but stopped when she looked into her bewildered eyes in the bronze mirror.
The image of Consort Zhi leaning against Zhou Ling during the day uncontrollably surfaced in my mind. That woman could stand beside him so naturally, and even bear him a child.
"Zhou Ling, you bastard."
She cursed under her breath and put down the jade comb, but the suffocation in her heart did not lessen at all after the rebuke came out.
The person in the mirror had reddened eyes, and she was startled to realize that she had unconsciously clenched her fists.
Why should I care? Having already gone through six lifetimes, I should have seen through the fickle nature of emperors long ago.
But when he looked at her with those disappointed eyes, and when she heard his footsteps fading into the distance, the subtle pain in her heart felt so real it was startling.
"This can't go on..."
My fingertips brushed against the side of my neck, where traces of him still seemed to linger.
That man was always like that; whether she liked it or not, he would leave his mark on her.
She recalled those countless nights when his burning palms gripped her wrists, his scalding breath brushed against her ear, and his deep voice repeatedly compelled her to call his name when she was lost in passion.
"Zhou Ling..." she murmured to herself, the two words lingering on her lips with a hint of bitterness.
I should hate him.
She hated his tyranny, hated his coercion, hated that he trapped her in this gilded cage.
But why did he feel such a sharp pain in his heart when he saw Consort Zhi standing beside him?
The woman in the mirror had reddened eyes, and she realized that she had unknowingly bitten her lip.
The sweet, metallic taste filled her mouth, instantly waking her up.
We must find the Buddhist prayer beads.
This thought has never been so strong as it is now.
Only by restarting the cycle of reincarnation can one break free from this suffocating cage and stop that unruly heart from beating for him.
She faced her unfamiliar reflection in the mirror and made a vow, word by word:
"This time, we must put an end to all of this completely."
...
The candlelight in the imperial study flickered gently in the night breeze, casting Zhou Ling's lonely figure on the wall.
He waved away all the servants and sat alone at the desk piled high with memorials, but he couldn't concentrate on reading a single word.
After a long while, he opened the hidden compartment and took out the string of purple jade prayer beads.
The warm, smooth jade flowed through his palm, each lotus pattern exquisitely carved, just like her—gentle on the outside, yet resilient on the inside, leaving him no way to touch her.
"Do you hate me that much?"
He whispered to the prayer beads, his voice sounding particularly desolate in the empty hall, "You'd rather use those potent drugs than let me touch a single hair on your head?"
He almost crushed the armrest of the dragon throne when he recalled the day the imperial physician nervously reported the efficacy of the prescription.
Does she know how those cold things will harm her body?
Or is it that she would rather do this even if it damages the very foundation?
"I am the Son of Heaven," he gave a bitter smile, "with three thousand concubines in my harem, which one doesn't yearn for my favor? Only you..."
For her alone, every time she was pleased with someone, it felt like torture.
Even when he was aroused beneath her, there was always an inescapable sense of humiliation hidden in his eyes.
He originally thought that with time, she would get used to it and eventually develop some genuine feelings for him.
But now it seems that it was just wishful thinking on his part.
"Your Majesty," came Consort Zhi's soft voice from outside the door, "I've prepared ginseng soup..."
"Get out." His voice was as cold as ice. There were no outsiders present at the moment, and he couldn't even be bothered to maintain a pretense.
After the footsteps faded into the distance, he clutched the prayer beads tightly in his palm, the hard edges digging painfully into them.
He forcibly took the prayer beads from her wrist; she struggled so fiercely as if he had taken away some priceless treasure.
He originally planned to return the Buddhist beads to her once her attitude softened and she was willing to show him a genuine smile.
But now... I'm afraid that opportunity will never come again.
"Shen Fangru," he whispered her name in the flickering candlelight, each word seeming to be tinged with blood, "since you're so determined to escape..."
He slowly closed his palm, the sharp edges of the prayer beads digging deeply into his flesh:
"I will keep you by my side forever."
The candlelight illuminated the obsession surging in his eyes, a king's deepest love, and also his most terrible curse.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
