Mo Beichen seemed lost in his memories and was unaware of Yun Qingluo's actions.
He continued speaking to himself:
"Actually, the late emperor made me regent not because he truly favored my mother, nor because he truly loved me."
Otherwise, why would they give me a name that includes the character "Bei" in it?
"Actually, when my mother was alive, my father did not favor her at all."
If I hadn't gotten drunk at a palace banquet and wandered off to the wrong place, and if the eunuch behind me hadn't dared to stop me, I wouldn't be here today.
The Emperor barely saw Mother, and probably doesn't even remember what she looked like. Ironically, isn't he?
Yun Qingluo listened as Mo Beichen recounted his past, word by word.
These must have been told to him by the palace maid.
Yun Qingluo bit her lip tightly and remained silent.
How did he feel when he heard these things as a young child?
How did he feel when other princes could cry to their mothers and get their support when they were bullied, while he was all alone?
What did it feel like when other princes enjoyed wealth and luxury, while he, a young boy, went to the frontier alone with an unknown future?
Yun Qinglu cried silently, afraid of disturbing Mo Beichen.
This is the first time Ah Chen has talked to her about the past, and she should be very happy that Ah Chen is telling her these things.
After all, one person's suffering doesn't feel so bad when shared by two people.
This was the first time Ah Chen had truly opened up to her, and she didn't want to interrupt him.
"The first time I killed someone was not on the battlefield, but in the palace."
That was three days after I returned to the palace, after you saved me. I found the person who killed me, lured him to a desolate place with the money my mother left me, and stoned him to death, then dragged him into a nearby dry well.
Yun Qingluo lowered her head, unable to believe it.
It's unbelievable how young A-Chen survived and grew up in the ruthless imperial palace, with his father unloved and his mother deceased.
I dare not even imagine how desperate he must feel when he has no one to rely on and is forced to face the cruel reality.
She wanted to tell him that it wasn't Ah Chen's fault, but that they deserved to die.
But her voice was so hoarse that she couldn't speak at all.
It hurts, my heart aches terribly, it's suffocating.
“I know the mastermind behind this wasn’t that eunuch, but he watched me fall off the cliff, so he deserves to die too.”
"I never thought about going back, Luo Luo. The moment I fell, I didn't want to live anymore. Living is so painful."
I was starving and freezing. I had no family, no friends, and even my pets avoided me. They called me their nemesis, their jinx, their bad luck charm.
"The moment I fell, I saw my mother, and she smiled gently at me."
I want to question her about why she doesn't want me, why she abandoned me.
But I dare not. They all say I brought death to my mother; if it weren't for me, she would surely have lived to be a hundred.
"Yes, I am such an unlucky person. My father dislikes me, and my mother died because of me. I don't deserve to live. I should die."
"I wish I could just die like that, without hunger or pain anymore. How wonderful it would be to die."
Yun Qingluo gripped Mo Beichen's hand tightly, her tears soaking her collar.
How desperate he must have been, at that time, being so young.
"But there was a very cute little girl who saved me."
I wanted to tell her she was meddling, but when I opened my eyes, I saw her smiling so happily. That bright smile, like eyes filled with the vastness of the stars.
When her gaze fell upon me, I felt as if light was shining upon me, warm and comforting. It made me reluctant to speak harshly to her.
"The little girl said that I should repay the life-saving grace with my body. She also said that she saved my life and that I should live well and not die again without her permission."
“I agreed. She’s such a lovely girl. If I refused, she would be unhappy. I like to see her smile; it makes me happy too.”
I blushed and said, "Okay, I'll marry you and protect you for the rest of my life."
I strive to grow stronger and fight desperately to become incredibly powerful so I can go back and protect my little girl.
But when I returned with all my military achievements and glory, the little girl who wanted me to marry her had fallen in love with someone else.
Yun Qingluo's vision was blurred from crying, and her voice was terribly hoarse.
Ah Chen, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
she......
She had no idea that the person she casually saved was prepared to die.
She had no idea that those few simple words would affect his entire life.
It turns out that if it weren't for her, he would have really died long ago.
It turns out that at six years old, she was already his obsession, his obsession with living in this world.
His original intentions were not to be benevolent to the people, to be a guardian deity, or to be some bullshit war god.
He climbed higher and higher, desperately climbing, just to protect her for the rest of her life.
Unfortunately, in her previous life, she never got to see her little girl.
Ah Chen, Ah Chen, I'm sorry.
"The girl broke her promise, and I'm very angry. I want to confront her and ask why she doesn't want me either, why... she also abandoned me."
But I dared not; I stood greedily in the darkness, watching her live in the sunlight.
My heart is filled with ugliness, my world is shrouded in darkness, and I don't want to drag her down with me to hell.
"I think it's fine to just silently protect her like this."
But... later General Yun found me and said he wanted to marry the young girl to me. I was suddenly overjoyed and, in a daze, agreed..."
"After realizing what had happened, I wanted to refuse because the girl didn't like me and even hated me, although I didn't understand why she changed so quickly."
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