After Guan Baiyu woke up, he couldn't fall back asleep.
The next day he went to class, and it was still dark.
Seeing him like this, his deskmate was worried: "Guan Baiyu, although you love studying, you also need to take care of your health and not overwork yourself!"
Guan Baiyu smiled at him: "I'm fine."
Although he said that, he couldn't help but be absent-minded during class.
He didn't know whether he should be glad that he had previewed the material beforehand, so even if he hadn't listened attentively, he wouldn't have fallen behind in his studies.
At noon, Guan Baiyu went to the cafeteria as usual, and as soon as he arrived, he saw Liang Qinxuan waving at him: "Baiyu! Over here!"
Liang Qinxuan and a few of his close friends from the basketball team were there, and the table was full of dishes. When Guan Baiyu approached, Liang Qinxuan said, "After my dad passed away yesterday, he asked my cousin to send me a thousand yuan. Today it's my treat, everyone please eat as much as you like."
They said you could eat as much as you wanted, but the school cafeteria didn't have many options; the meat dishes were always the same few.
Liang Qinxuan disliked the taste and even tore open a sausage to eat.
As Guan Baiyu approached, Liang Qinxuan noticed Guan Baiyu's complexion and immediately became a little worried: "Baiyu, why are your dark circles so heavy?"
"I had a nightmare last night and couldn't fall asleep afterward," Guan Baiyu said.
“I had a nightmare yesterday too, I dreamt that I was arrested in a video arcade.” Liang Qinxuan sighed, scratching his hair. “But after I woke up, I turned over and went back to sleep.”
Guan Baiyu rolled his eyes, glanced at Liang Qinxuan, then lowered his head and continued eating.
If it's just being arrested, it won't mean much to him.
He... dreamed about his brother.
He had no idea why he dreamed about his brother.
In his dream, he and his brother were still... being intimate.
Thinking of that scene, Guan Baiyu froze again and lost his appetite.
He was as terrified as he was in his dream.
When he was in junior high school, he didn't live on campus, didn't have many friends, and hadn't read many extracurricular books. He didn't understand many things, even about relationships between men and women; he was completely clueless about those.
He occasionally watched TV and saw men and women kissing and then having children... He once thought that kissing mouth to mouth and exchanging saliva could result in having children.
It wasn't until high school, when he shared a dorm room with eight other people, that he started to change his voice, grow taller, and experience some physiological phenomena unique to men... that he gradually learned some things he didn't know before.
But he never really paid attention to the girls in his class. He didn't think there was anything wrong with that; he thought he just wanted to focus on his studies.
After all, he didn't pay much attention to the boys in his class. He always thought they were too immature, all loud and boisterous, and not as mature as his brother.
None of these people are as good-looking as his brother. His brother is so tall! Every part of him—eyes, nose, eyebrows, and lips—is handsome.
But now... he feels like he's the one who's done something wrong.
Guan Baiyu really wanted to see Shi Zhen and ask him what was wrong with him.
But soon he realized that he couldn't ask.
He really wants to kiss his brother. If his brother knew about this... wouldn't he find him disgusting?
Guan Baiyu couldn't imagine what his brother would think of him if he found out about his twisted ideas.
He also started to care about more things.
For example, his voice lately has really been unpleasant to listen to.
His brother had told him it was okay before, which put his mind at ease, but now, once again... he doesn't want his brother to hear his voice.
Although Guan Baiyu had no appetite, he didn't like to waste food. He picked up some strongly flavored dishes and mechanically finished the rice in his bowl.
His demeanor made Liang Qinxuan, who wanted to say something, hesitate several times before stopping.
"What's wrong?" Guan Baiyu asked him.
"Hmm...it's nothing..." Liang Qinxuan said, "This Saturday is my lunar birthday, do you want to come celebrate with me?"
“Saturday? I’m going home,” Guan Baiyu said.
Liang Qinxuan's best friend right now is Guan Baiyu, and he feels that only Guan Baiyu is truly good to him.
He wanted Guan Baiyu to celebrate his birthday with him.
"I'll have someone pick you up then, and then take you back, how about that?"
"No need for that," Guan Baiyu said.
Liang Qinxuan was still a little unwilling to give up: "If I don't finish my tutoring class on Saturday afternoon, it'll be four o'clock. Let's go roller skating first, and then go eat hot pot... You really aren't going?"
“I’m not going,” Guan Baiyu thought for a moment and then said, “I’ll bring you a present when I come back on Sunday.”
"Alright." Liang Qinxuan sighed, but he could understand Guan Baiyu's feelings.
Guan Baiyu has such a good relationship with his brother, he definitely wants to go back to see him.
As for him... thinking about having outsiders at home, he didn't want to celebrate his birthday at home and had already decided to make plans with his classmates to have a great time outside.
Originally, he planned to take his classmates to sing karaoke and have some drinks... He had always been curious about these things.
But recently, after being scared so much, he no longer dares to go to places like that; he only dares to go roller skating and eat hot pot.
Unfortunately, Guan Baiyu didn't go roller skating or eat hot pot.
Fortunately, the basketball team members who had gone to the video arcade with him and formed a revolutionary friendship were all willing to go!
As for his former cronies... well, not a single one of them!
He hadn't really fallen out with them before, and they even talked occasionally, but the video arcade they recommended turned out to be such a place... He was going to cut ties with these people!
Guan Baiyu has been in poor form this week.
In the end, even his teacher came to care about him, telling him not to study too hard and to take breaks.
Guan Baiyu had rarely been cared for like this before, and now that he had encountered it, he was inevitably moved, but also couldn't help feeling ashamed.
No one knew that he was actually a psychopath.
On Friday noon, Guan Baiyu, who usually rushed to be the first to board the bus, surprisingly didn't run.
Then I missed getting on the first bus.
Guan Baiyu: "..."
There are very few buses in their city, and only a few people can get on them. He can only wait for the next one. When he finally gets to the station, there is a long queue, mostly students who want to go home.
After all this trouble, Guan Baiyu arrived in Anshan Town in the afternoon.
He had just gotten out of the car when he saw Shi Zhen waiting outside.
"Brother!" Guan Baiyu waved happily to Shi Zhen.
Shi Zhen smiled and said, "Xiao Yu."
Shi Zhengang called out, then his smile vanished, and he frowned, saying, "Xiaoyu, why are your dark circles so bad? Didn't you get enough rest?"
"A little," Guan Baiyu said somewhat embarrassed.
Shi Zhen said, "Studying is important, but you also need to take care of your health..."
Shi Zhen kept repeating this, each sentence full of concern, making Guan Baiyu feel somewhat ashamed.
His brother is such a good person, how could he have such terrible thoughts about him!
"Brother, have you been waiting for a long time?"
"It hasn't been long," Shi Zhen said. He had indeed waited for a while, but it didn't matter.
The buses in Changxi City are yellow now, and they are very small, about the size of a minivan. It's normal that Guan Baiyu couldn't squeeze on and was late getting back.
"Hmm." Guan Baiyu lowered his head.
Shi Zhen then asked, "Did something happen to you?"
Guan Baiyu said, "It's nothing, it's just that what Liang Qinxuan encountered was too terrible, especially frightening!"
"What happened to him this time?" Shi Zhen asked.
Guan Baiyu then recounted what happened at the video parlor, emphasizing that he realized something was wrong after entering and immediately left with his men.
"Xiaoyu is still the smartest and most alert," Shi Zhen said, feeling a bit sorry for Liang Qinxuan.
Honestly, it's all thanks to Guan Baiyu; otherwise, given his current status, he would never be able to be friends with Liang Qinxuan or help him.
If Liang Qinxuan were to encounter all of these things... just thinking about it is terrifying.
Guan Baiyu smiled.
Seeing that Guan Baiyu seemed somewhat listless, Shi Zhen assumed that Guan Baiyu was frightened by what had happened in Liang Qinxuan's family.
Although Guan Baiyu had poor living conditions before, he had never encountered such scheming before, so it was normal for him to feel scared.
Thinking this, Shi Zhen offered Guan Baiyu a few words of comfort.
Guan Baiyu glanced at Shi Zhen with mixed feelings.
Shi Zhen was going to the Wang family's house in the afternoon. This time, Guan Baiyu didn't go with him. He lay on the bed, thinking about all the things that had happened in the past.
Actually... he's always been abnormal.
He himself had no idea that he had such thoughts before.
What will he do next?
If he were to follow his heart... he wouldn't want anyone else around his brother, and ideally, his brother would never get married and would stay with him forever.
And he... he swore he would treat his brother very well!
But that's obviously impossible.
How could his brother not get married!
So he... is going to watch his brother get married and have children?
Guan Baiyu had never liked thinking about this before, and now he is even less willing to think about it.
He took a deep breath, went to Guan Jianguo's side, and spoke to Shi Xingchao.
Shi Xingchao really liked Guan Baiyu. After all, Guan Baiyu looked well-behaved, and most importantly... Guan Baiyu didn't cost him any money, so why wouldn't he like her?
This time, Guan Baiyu focused on asking Shi Zhen about his past.
Shi Xingchao didn't think much of it and talked a lot. He was a man and always hung out with Shi Zhen, so he knew more about Shi Zhen than Shi Ting did.
"Are there many people who like my brother?" Guan Baiyu asked.
“There are many people who like Shi Zhen, after all, he’s so handsome. But his family was poor before, he didn’t even have his own house. People liked him, but whether they would marry him was another matter. Now it’s different. If he goes back, I guarantee that all the single girls in the surrounding villages will be fighting over him.” Shi Xingchao said, “Not to mention… he has a tractor!” In their area, having a tractor is very cool.
Does my brother have someone he likes?
“No, not at all. He was still young and had high standards. When he was little, he even said he wanted to marry someone like his mother… You don’t know, his mother was exceptionally beautiful and literate. Back then, when people in the village needed couplets or anything, they would ask his mother to write them, and she could write them all differently,” Shi Xingchao said with a sigh as he mentioned his aunt. “When he was little, his mother would make him memorize the Three Character Classic… I’m telling you, he can definitely still recite it now! Even the clothes his mother made for him were better than the ones made for others. It’s just that she was in poor health, and the doctors in our area couldn’t see anything wrong with her. She just kept getting sick and eventually died.”
Guan Baiyu and Shi Xingchao talked for a long time.
His brother's life wasn't much better than his.
An eight-year-old child suddenly losing his mother must be incredibly painful; it's better to be like him, who has never even seen his mother.
Now, his brother's life is getting better and better.
It's just bad luck that I raised such a freak.
Guan Baiyu didn't know what was wrong with him, but it was definitely not right. He was conflicted, but he didn't show it on his face.
As they were talking, the sound of a tractor came from outside. Guan Baiyu ran out the door and saw Shi Zhen had returned.
He instinctively rushed over: "Brother!"
But Shi Zhen reached out and stopped him: "Don't come too close, I'm dirty."
Work on a construction site can't be very clean. He had been busy for a while in the afternoon, and now he was covered in dust.
Guan Baiyu dared not approach any further, fearing that he might lose control and do something terrible.
Shi Zhen then said, "You go cook, I'm going to take a shower."
"Mm," Guan Baiyu replied.
Shi Zhen has recently had a lot more money, so he bought some new things for his home, such as a rice cooker.
Cooking rice in a rice cooker is quite fast. When Guan Baiyu was washing the rice, he saw a silver carp in a large basin next to the stove.
Guan Baiyu knew that when he was away, Shi Zhen and the others would occasionally buy some pork and fry some eggs for their meals.
However, whenever he came back, Shi Zhen would always bring back some chickens, ducks, fish, or something similar.
"You cook the vegetables first, I'll take the fish to kill it." Shi Zhen came in again. He only remembered that he hadn't killed the fish when he was about to take a shower.
Back then, people weren't as particular about eating fish as they are now. They didn't usually require the fish to be fresh. Many fish sellers in town sold dead fish.
Even if they buy live fish, everyone will kill them early and hang them on the roof beam.
However, he felt that dead fish didn't taste good, so he specifically bought live ones.
Now he can kill the fish before taking a shower.
Shi Zhen worked very quickly, and soon he had killed the fish before he started taking a bath.
The small shed outside has a plastic sheet hanging at the entrance, which provides some warmth. However, it's getting colder and colder, and he can't stand washing with cold water, so he uses water from the kettle to make warm water for his bath.
When Guan Baiyu came out of the house, Shi Zhen was taking a bath, and there was a cleaned fish in the basin outside.
Basically, without him saying anything, his brother would do all the troublesome work, and he never had to lift a finger.
The meat dish for dinner was braised fish, which Guan Baiyu prepared himself.
Shi Zhen ate the rice with fish soup and finished the whole bowl in one go. Shi Xinghuo did the same. Only Shi Xingchao, who doesn't do any physical labor now, had a smaller appetite and only ate one big bowl.
During the meal, Guan Baiyu kept looking at Shi Zhen.
Shi Zhen eats in a very graceful manner. Although he eats a lot and very quickly, he doesn't make any noise and his movements are elegant.
"What are you looking at?" Shi Zhen asked Guan Baiyu, who had been staring at him the whole time.
Guan Baiyu reacted quickly: "Brother, you injured your hand. You need to be careful in the future."
Shi Zhen had a small scar on his hand.
"What kind of injury is this?" Shi Zhen laughed.
When Guan Baiyu was sleeping, Shi Zhen's smile would appear before his eyes.
That night, he had another dream.
This dream was even more outrageous than the previous ones.
In his dream, he and his brother were entangled for a long time.
Guan Baiyu woke up suddenly again, changed his clothes, lay down with a pounding heart, and drifted off to sleep again.
This time... he didn't do anything crazy or reckless; this dream was actually quite realistic.
He dreamt that his brother hated him and didn't want him anymore.
When he woke up, he couldn't remember the specifics of the dream, but the feeling of being abandoned still lingered.
He even had a terrible thought: to lock his brother up so that no one else could see him.
Let his brother belong to him alone.
Guan Baiyu went outside and saw Shi Zhen making breakfast. He felt a little guilty towards his brother.
His brother deserves a happy and peaceful life, not to be coveted by such a terrible person as him.
As for him, all he cares about is that his brother is doing well.
Guan Baiyu thought this way, but when he saw Shi Zhen, he couldn't suppress his various thoughts and felt increasingly guilty.
He thought for a moment, then smiled at Shi Zhen: "Brother, today is Liang Qinxuan's birthday. He's been asking me to celebrate his birthday with him, and I've agreed."
Shi Zhenyi recalled that Liang Qinxuan's birthday was just recently.
However, he couldn't remember the exact date.
He rarely celebrates his own birthday, nor does he have the habit of celebrating other people's birthdays.
Guan Baiyu and Liang Qinxuan have become friends and will even celebrate their birthdays together, which is great.
Shi Zhen said, "When are you going? I'll take you to the station."
Guan Baiyu said, "Brother, you can take me to the station now." If he asked his brother to take him later, wouldn't that be too much trouble for his brother to come back after finishing half of his work?
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