Chapter 113 I Can't Accept Your Feelings
After these words came out, even Jiang Xun held his breath.
It was silent outside, and in the dark and gloomy dry well, the only sound echoing was the sound of the heartbeat that seemed to ring in the ears.
"Mr. Cui."
Shen Jiasui's voice finally rang out.
She lowered her eyes slightly, avoiding Cui Mingjue's eager gaze, but in a flash, she raised her head again and looked directly at Cui Mingjue's face, with a hint of apology and determination in her eyes.
"I can't accept your feelings."
She said it so straightforwardly, without any hesitation, and without even a hint of politeness or euphemism.
Cui Mingjue maintained the posture of leaning slightly forward. The hope in his eyes gradually shattered when he heard the words, and for a moment he didn't know how to react.
He was proud. Since Miss Shen had rejected him, he naturally would not do anything to pester her or turn love into hate.
But for the first time in his life, he fell in love with a woman, kept her in his heart, thought about her day and night, and even imagined their future in detail.
Now, it's a mess, a complete failure.
His thin lips moved, as if he had a thousand words to say, but in the end, he could only call out with difficulty and weakness: "Miss Shen..."
Shen Jiasui slowly turned his head, the shock on his face had not yet dissipated, but there was more determination.
When she was silent just now, she had carefully questioned her own feelings.
She knew very well that she did not have any special feelings for Cui Mingjue. So, she could not give him any illusion or hope because of momentary hesitation and consideration.
She thought that this was the best response to Cui Mingjue's sincerity.
After hearing the words, Jiang Xun slowly lowered his head, his face completely hidden in the darkness. Only he could be heard exhaling very slowly.
Rustle——
The snow on the branches of the wintersweet tree fell to the ground, startling the three silent people.
Shen Jiasui turned around and was about to resign.
But at this time, Cui Mingjue asked in a low voice: "Miss Shen, do I really... have no chance at all?"
He took another step closer to Shen Jiasui, with a hint of trembling in his voice.
Sure enough, he was still unwilling to give up and wanted to get things clear.
"If Miss Chen thinks there is something wrong with me, I can change it. I did make a mistake in the Imperial College incident, and I will never make the same mistake again."
"I will soon be able to graduate from the Imperial College and serve as an official in the imperial court. Miss Shen, perhaps my position is not high and my qualifications are still shallow, but I am confident that one day I will be able to bring honor and dignity to Miss Shen."
"Or does Miss Shen already have someone else in her heart..."
When he asked the last question, Cui Mingjue could feel jealousy and envy growing wildly in his heart.
He could not forget the look Miss Shen gave Jiang Xun on the court today.
Shen Jiasui frowned and took two steps back to distance himself from Cui Mingjue.
She knew Cui Mingjue's ability and how he would rise to the top, but she did not live past the end of the two years and did not see the two princes and the emperor's grandson, or see who would inherit the throne in the end.
If he were Prince Rui, there would be no doubt that Cui Mingjue would be the most proud upstart and popular figure in the entire Sheng Dynasty.
Therefore, she did not want to make things too awkward at this time and provoke a powerful enemy out of nowhere.
Seeing Cui Mingjue approaching step by step, Shen Jiasui raised his hand to stop him from getting any closer.
She straightened her face and couldn't help but sigh.
"Master Cui, I don't know where your feelings for me come from. We have only met a few times."
"If you bring up the past again, and talk about the day we first met, then I will have to tell you the truth. Master Cui's behavior that day was unforgivable."
Cui Mingjue's face changed suddenly when he heard this.
Shen Jiasui said in a deep voice: "Mr. Cui, you pretend to be a dandy, whether it is for fun or to hide your strength, but you really shouldn't involve others because of this."
"Reputation is as important to a woman as life. I know you may not mean it, but you are just following the crowd and playing around."
"But given your status and position, you should be more careful with your words and actions, because there will be countless people who will fling even more filthy words at me in order to please you and curry your favor."
"Mr. Cui, you should be thankful that I was the one at the center of the storm that time. I don't care about reputation anymore. My father and mother love me deeply, and I don't take Lu Yunzheng seriously anymore."
"But what if it was someone else who was framed and ridiculed? What if they didn't have family to support them, what if they were careful about their reputation, what if they were chaste and unyielding?"
"That is to hang yourself with a white silk ribbon to preserve the family's reputation and to defend your own dignity!"
"Mr. Cui, don't think I'm exaggerating. The difficulties women face... you just can't see them."
"I can forgive Master Cui because I don't want to be enemies with you. Those rumors don't really bother me, but Master Cui, don't think that this is just a small matter."
If Cui Mingjue really becomes a powerful person in the future, then his every move will affect the safety and happiness of more people.
Shen Jiasui thought that there were some things she had to say.
Cui Mingjue took a step back under Shen Jiasui's stern words, his face gradually turning pale.
"I...I really didn't mean to..."
He opened his mouth and gave a somewhat pale explanation.
He really didn't think that much at the time, but since everyone was spreading it, he just laughed a few words along.
Shen Jiasui nodded, but his expression was serious.
"I believe you didn't mean it, but Mr. Cui, look at this world, when rumors come out, people just follow them without any discrimination."
"Everyone meant it unintentionally and said it as a joke, but why was the victim of the rumor forced to death?"
"Mr. Cui really didn't mean to hurt others, he just never put himself in their shoes and thought about their feelings."
"From today onwards, Master Cui, you might as well look outside and see how many ordinary people there are among us living in luxury, and how much injustice there is."
Cui Mingjue's face changed again and he wanted to explain, but he couldn't utter a word.
Because he knew in his heart that what Shen Jiasui said hit him right in the heart.
At that time, he just agreed with her, and indeed he had never thought about Miss Shen's situation, nor had he ever thought about the consequences of his words.
He just thought with a clear conscience, since everyone can say it, why can't he say it?
Shen Jiasui stared at Cui Mingjue, and seeing his expression change several times, he knew that he had probably listened to some of what he had just said.
Thinking of this, Shen Jiasui relaxed his expression a little, knowing that it was time to end today's meeting.
"Mr. Cui, you just said that you will be serving as an official in the imperial court soon—"
Shen Jiasui said, took a step back, then knelt down and saluted, saying in a gentle voice:
"Then Shen Jiasui dared to send a blessing to Master Cui:
I hope that when you first enter the court, you will show your lofty ambitions and leap forward like a steed. He is upright and honest, and assists the emperor and the people with his loyalty and wisdom. From then on, he will have a successful career, outstanding achievements, and long-lasting blessings. ”
After Youyou finished speaking, Shen Jiasui knelt again.
Cui Mingjue looked at Shen Jiasui in front of him. His eyes brightened at this moment, but soon his face showed a complicated expression.
He had imagined over and over again that if he could marry Miss Shen, he would protect her well and ensure that she would live a worry-free life. l
But after listening to her talk tonight, I finally realized that not only was I ignorant, but I also didn't understand her at all.
She talked about women, the people, and justice. Her vision and mind were much longer-term and broader than he had imagined.
Thinking of this, Cui Mingjue's heart was filled with excitement. He felt surprise, shame, loss, and admiration. All five emotions were mixed together and became an unsolvable tangled mess.
He wanted to go forward and help Shen Jiasui up, but he was worried that she would be annoyed by his proximity.
He was so unwilling to accept this woman. He understood more and more how good she was, but in the end he could not be with her.
Cui Mingjue struggled again and again, but finally withdrew his hand obediently.
"I have written down everything Miss Shen said..."
Cui Mingjue felt dejected when faced with Shen Jiasui's firm and well-reasoned refusal.
He had no choice but to bow and salute Shen Jiasui solemnly.
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