gladiolus
Yu Xi woke up abruptly from her dream. The moment she opened her eyes, she was met with the blinding light above her, and she immediately squinted.
The head of the psychology department, sitting to the side, held a book in her hand and pushed up her glasses that had slipped off her nose with one hand. She seemed to have anticipated Yu Xi's reaction, her brows furrowed and her face showing some worry.
Having worked alongside Meng Chou in the business world, Yu Xi had long since learned to pick up on these subtle changes in expression. She was even calmer than the head of the psychology department, and asked, "Is my condition really that bad?"
"You've been suppressing your emotions, haven't you?" The head of the psychology department didn't hide anything and asked directly. "I've also heard some rumors that when your husband passed away, you didn't shed a single tear, and you didn't even show any sadness. Everything in your life went on as usual, but you just shut yourself off."
Yu Xi turned to her side, pulled up the pillow, and slumped against the headboard. She didn't avoid the topic, "That's how it is."
“If I hadn’t done that, the company that he and I had built from scratch would most likely have been lost. What they needed was a ruthless and decisive general manager, not a woman like me who was pregnant at the time and didn’t seem capable of handling big things.”
"I had to do this to keep those people calm and to maintain stability. What else could I do?" Her voice rose as she vented the pent-up resentment that had been building up for months.
"Does everyone really think I'm not sad at all? If I wallow in self-pity like this, what will happen to the company? What about the contracts he worked so hard to negotiate?"
Yu Xi wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes and gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Do you all think that my position is easy to hold? Do you all think that since I married into a wealthy family and my husband is dead, I will definitely take his inheritance and run away?"
“Even if I did that, the most people would say is that I’m a gold digger. Those comments would only last for two months at most, and I could easily take the money and live a carefree life.”
“But I can’t do that, because I know I didn’t marry Meng Chou for his money; I truly love him.”
The head of the psychology department listened quietly as she poured out her emotions. Over the years, she had heard far too many tragic stories during her consultations, and the biggest taboo for a doctor is to empathize with patients.
She listened calmly as Yu Xi recounted her misfortunes, and then said calmly, "I can understand your pain because I knew some of your situation beforehand. So when I hypnotized you, I only created the scene you most wanted to see."
"The scenes you see are your past, your memories, and also the future you long for deep down."
Yu Xi sighed and asked himself, "The future? The future I envision?"
The head of the psychology department nodded. "Yes, what you saw in your dream is the future you're hoping for."
Yu Xi silently gripped the corner of the blanket, a sense of regret slowly creeping in. Her initial desire to take the child away quietly shattered at this moment. She was grateful that the nanny had taken the child away and that Meng Yun had arrived in time.
She doesn't understand what she's really thinking. Amidst her struggles and internal conflicts, such a terrible idea has emerged.
“I still want this child to grow up, and I still want him to have a good life.” Yu Xi raised her head, her long hair falling across her cheeks. Her eyes were vacant as she tilted her head and stared at the curtains.
“But why do I sometimes actually see the curtains moving?” Yu Xi stretched out her arm and pointed to the white curtains.
The head of the psychology department pondered for a long time, trying to think of the best answer. After a long while, she said, "This curtain may be a movement you're imagining, or it may really be the ghost you're talking about."
"Do doctors believe in these things too?" Yu Xi asked.
"Of course, when I was young, I worked the night shift and encountered some strange things. I couldn't explain those phenomena, but they really happened."
“I think you two love each other very much, and he will naturally be by your side. He doesn’t want to see you cry or be depressed.”
Yu Xi sniffed, her eyes stinging. She didn't know what to do anymore; this knot in her heart couldn't be untied in just a day or two.
"You should rest well. If you want to talk to me, just press the call button anytime and we can have another chat." Seeing that she didn't want to continue, the head of the psychology department slowly got up and walked out of the room.
A week passed without Yu Xi pressing the call button. Most of the time, she returned to the days when Meng Chou had just had his car accident, only this time, she was all alone.
She was left sitting blankly by the window, watching people come and go downstairs.
Aside from the nurses who brought her meals and changes of clothes and came and went from room to room, Ji Huai'en would bring her some documents to check and sign again, but she would always just take a look and then immediately uncap the pen and sign her name.
Ji Huaien knew her situation, and every time he came, he would bring her a bouquet of gladiolus, replace the withered flowers in the vase, and carefully arrange them. He didn't say much, but after accompanying Yu Xi to sign those contracts, as long as Yu Xi didn't have any intention of kicking him out, he would stay with Yu Xi for a while longer.
I poured her a glass of warm water and, like her, stared blankly at the people passing by below the window.
This time, as Yu Xi closed the pen, she finally couldn't help but ask, "Why do you do this? Why do you bring me a bouquet of flowers every time you come? You could just sign the contract and leave. The company must be very busy, right?"
"President Yu, I know you're unhappy, so I wanted to stay here a little longer and keep you company."
Ji Huaien glanced at the flowers sitting quietly in the vase and said with a smile, "As for bringing flowers, I think every unhappy girl might feel a little better if she receives a bouquet of flowers."
"I have diligently completed all the company affairs you assigned me, and I will keep an eye on them for you."
Yu Xi turned to look at him. His thin frame was so frail that his bones were clearly visible even through the large hospital gown. His face was pale, and he looked listless.
"Working under a company leader like me must be frustrating, right? Don't feel embarrassed to leave just because we're college classmates. You have the right to decide whether to stay or leave."
Yu Xi was testing his attitude. As for Ji Huaien, she felt she had no reason to stop him from staying or leaving, and even less reason to let him continue doing what he did, running between the hospital and the company at her beck and call.
Without the slightest hesitation, Ji Huaien replied decisively, "I won't do that. What I'm doing now is entirely of my own free will."
"Because the Yu Xi I remember was never defeated by difficulties, and she was never as dejected as she is now. She was a sunny and hopeful person who could always bring warmth to others."
"You just need time to rest and adjust, but don't give up on yourself."
Ji Huaien's encouraging words struck her heart once again, his tone firm and unwavering. This was yet another firm choice for Yu Xi.
"Okay, I'll try my best to get through this." Yu Xi smiled bitterly, then said, "I'm tired, I want to rest, you can go back."
Ji Huaien pulled out a chair, turned to leave, but after taking a few steps, he turned back and said, "Eat on time. If you feel bored, you can call me. Try to go out for a walk. President Yu, don't lock yourself in here."
Yu Xi nodded, but he still couldn't bring himself to go out for a walk as he had suggested.
Days passed by like this, and Meng Yun and Meng Qingze never came again, as if the child and he had disappeared from this world.
Meng Jinxian would often come to see her during his days off.
However, the two were only family in name, strangers. She spoke less with Meng Jinxian than with Meng Yun. Most of the time, they exchanged polite words, asked about each other's recent situation, and that was the end of it.
It felt like a business interview; there wasn't much family interaction, it was just a formality.
The cleaning lady would slowly place a book on her bedside table; sometimes it was a fashion magazine, sometimes a classic foreign literary work.
At first, Yu Xi didn't open it to read, but later a book called "Me and the Temple of Earth" caught her eye.
When she was in school, she heard her teacher talk about the author Shi Tiesheng. His situation back then was many times worse than hers now. Yu Xi opened that book.
—
The sunlit room was filled with toys and scattered spelling books. Meng Yun rarely got off work early; she arrived home at four o'clock.
The first thing I do every time I get home is to see what Meng Qingze is doing.
The little one is eight months old and has started learning to walk along the table. He can say "daddy" and "mommy" in simple terms.
Meng Yun recorded every little detail of his growth with his mobile phone, and his photo album contains a special record of Meng Qingze's growth.
During our interactions with the child, my dislike for him had completely vanished, replaced by love.
Every day, Meng Yun would take out Yu Xi's photo, hug Meng Qingze, and say, "Zeze, look, this is Mommy. You have to remember what Mommy looks like. When you see her, you have to call her, okay?"
He was also worried that Meng Qingze would become estranged from Yu Xi, so even when he didn't see Yu Xi, he would mention her as much as possible in their daily interactions. At the same time, he was also worried that Yu Xi might not accept the child.
Just as Meng Jinxian never truly accepted him from the bottom of her heart, thinking of this, Meng Yun felt even more sorry for the child. In him, she seemed to see her former self, the one who had lived in Meng Chou's shadow since childhood and was not valued.
"You know what? I didn't like you at first, but later I felt that you were also involved and were innocent."
"So, I hope you're lucky and don't get hated by your mother." Meng Yun picked him up, poked his soft cheek with her finger, and the phone on the sofa rang.
He carried Meng Qingze over, only to catch a glimpse that the caller was Yu Xi.
Yu Xi, who has not been in contact with him for almost a year.
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