Chapter 253

I stood up holding the shovel, and the door in front was suddenly opened, and a group of people ran in and closed the door again.

They saw there was another door here, so they came over, stuck their heads in, and saw me.

"Who are you? Why are you here?"

They stared at me and asked me questions, but when they saw my clothes, they knew I was a priest in the church. These questions were meaningless. They already knew the answers and I didn't need to answer.

"I'm sorry, we got in here rashly, but we really can't go out now. Can we take a break here for a while?"

A young man came up to me and said.

I looked at this young man. His face was somewhat similar to someone I knew, but now it seemed that only the outline was similar. The facial features were different, and the look in his eyes was not what I remembered.

He shouldn't be someone I know, but he looks a bit like me.

There are many similar people in the world.

I shouldn't care so much about this.

I agreed to let them stay and told them that it was empty here and they could go upstairs to rest.

But there is nothing to eat here, so if they want to stay here, they probably won’t be able to stay for long.

They nodded to show that they had heard it, and then dispersed. I put the shovel back where it was and left. I went back to sit in my seat and looked around. Suddenly, the place was very lively.

It was a strange feeling, like looking up at the sky on the night of Qingming Festival and finding it filled with fireworks.

I closed my eyes and felt sleepy.

The young man came up to me and asked, "Have you always lived here?"

"yes."

I answered him and tried to open my eyes.

This is difficult for me now because both my eyes seem to have glue.

"Have you always been alone here?"

Young people ask me.

"I don't remember."

I whispered my reply and forced myself to look up at him.

But he kept swaying in front of my eyes. I knew it was because I was too sleepy that I could only see such a shadow. I closed my eyes and lowered my head.

He thought I was about to fall asleep, so he asked me caringly, "Do you need any help? How can I help you?"

I shook my head and fell asleep again.

When I woke up, there was no one here. It seemed that all the people who stayed here had left. I think this was necessary because it was safer for them to leave than to stay.

Because I can't protect them and I might even hurt them, and they won't even know it was me who hurt them, and even if they did, they might think I was crazy.

Being crazy is not the truth and it's not good for anyone.

I should be happy that they're gone, but I'm not. I feel lost again, as if someone has hollowed out my heart.

I am a robot. I lowered my head and opened my chest to check my mechanical heart. There was no blood inside, only gasoline and yellow sticky grease rolling around.

I'm like a monster.

A living person would not have so much oil circulating around the heart.

Unless you are very fat.

But no matter how fat a person is, if his heart is this dirty, he would have died long ago.

This is not physiological.

Or biology.

I don't have that stuff in my head.

I'm pretty sure there's nothing in my basic memory related to learning.

I'm pretty good at remembering these names, even though no one compliments me.

It suddenly occurred to me that maybe I had a friend a long time ago, and that friend had always been by my side and stayed with me, we were together forever, we once said so, but we separated.

Either he is dead, or I am dead, or he will never see me again, or he won't be able to recognize me in this state. Either way, it's worth being sad about.

I don't want to think about this problem anymore because thinking like this will also speed up the depletion of my energy.

I want to use this little remaining energy to live longer, even though I don't have anyone around me who has such a life. It's terrible and quiet, as if there is no hope.

But I am not really living in eternal night. After all the unbearable darkness, there will be a day when light will come. I am waiting for that day.

Just like that kid said to me.

To this day I still don't remember what that kid's name was.

Maybe he didn't tell me a name at all, maybe he didn't have a name but the teacher gave him one and he didn't tell me, maybe I gave him a name but I forgot it.

Everything is the same, because I can hardly remember anything.

I don’t think it’s a good thing right now, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing either. I’m probably going to be in the church for a long time, and I don’t need to think about those things, which will only make me sad.

I waited day after day, and fell into a deep sleep because I was too bored.

But because of boredom, I woke up from my slumber again.

I suddenly realized that if I were a pure robot, I would not have dreams, and even if I did, I would not be awakened by the situation in the dream.

Does this mean that things have changed?

If my situation changes, what about the outside world?

I suddenly wanted to leave the church and go outside to look for my friend. If I really had a friend and he was still alive, then maybe I would have a chance to see him outside.

But this is not necessarily the case.

But if I go out, the chances of seeing him will always be greater.

If he really exists, although I have no hope of it, I have considered it and decided to leave.

I moved little by little to the door of the church. It was a tiring thing for me, like an extreme sport, but I accomplished what I had to do.

I left the church and closed the door behind me. I even thought about locking it.

But it would be even more tiring for me to go back and look for a lock to hang here after leaving the church, so I thought it would be better to forget it.

I turned around and saw a vast expanse of snow outside. The snow was so thick that it was above my knees. I thought I was going to be buried because I stepped on a stone and was about to fall.

Although the snow was very white, I somehow felt that the ground underneath was very dirty. I fell down anyway, but there was no land underneath, but a corpse.

I brushed away the snow and saw robots and humans underneath. Because the snow was too much, too cold, and too thick, they were buried underneath and looked like they had just died.

Their faces were blue and purple, their bodies were stiff, and they had been dead for some time. There was no way they could be alive again, unless they had never been dead in the first place.

But I don't know any medical skills, and judging by the wounds on their bodies, even if they wake up now, I can only watch them die.

It would be better if they didn't wake up now, because watching someone come back to life and die again might cause me psychological pressure and shock.

I don't want to put on such a heavy mental shackle for myself, as it would make my journey of searching difficult.

I don't want to watch it anymore.

I buried them with the snow, as if they were already lying there, inside their own tombstones, and I walked out step by step on the snow.

I left my church and walked along the path outside the church, but when I reached the gate of the town, I didn't know where to go next.

This is the limit of what I can imagine, it's like I've never been out of this road before, I can't know things I've never seen.

I can't stop here, I can still see the church when I look back, it's too close, I won't find anything.

It's a sad thing and I want to cry, but I no longer shed tears.

A robot does not shed tears.

Even though I'm not a complete normal robot.

I randomly picked a direction and walked away. After walking for a long time, I saw a group of people. They were also walking away, but their direction was different from mine. They saw me, and I walked past them.

The leader looked familiar. I thought maybe it was because I could tell that everyone I looked at looked like the person I was looking for.

But they were not him.

This is even more sad.

The leader was a steady young man with a little blue on his chin and a beard. It was obvious that he had been busy on the road for some time.

When he looked at me, I felt dazed, as if he was wearing sunglasses and was carrying a stone to press on my back. Then I couldn't breathe and lay on the ground.

He was startled, helped me up and asked me what was wrong. I wanted to speak but I didn't have enough energy and passed out.

When I woke up again, I was in a place where I could rest, which seemed like a tent. There was a warm orange-red light on the edge, and there was a table next to it with salty milk tea on it.

I was still covered with a quilt. I lifted it and was about to get out of bed to find my shoes when a person came in.

"You can rest early. It's getting dark."

He said to me.

I looked at him and once again felt the illusion of familiarity with him.

I thought it was an illusion, but I didn't want to be confused to death, so I asked him, "Have we met before?"

He was stunned for a moment, as if he was thinking about a very difficult math problem, and then he said to me, yes, we have met.

He sat next to me, his posture like a thinking sculpture.

I looked at him and smiled, and suddenly didn't want to ask any more questions, but he turned his head to look at me and wanted to tell me everything. He asked me if I was willing to listen, and I said of course I was.

He told me about it.

"I am the child you picked up at the church door."

"Then why did you leave me?"

"I have my own things to do."

"It seems you are not the one I am looking for."

"Who are you looking for? In all the time I've been with you, I've never seen anyone else talk to you like a friend."

"You hit me, but I do want to find a friend. If I really have such a friend, I want to find my friend, stay with him forever, and die next to him."