Chapter 85
"If you can, please kill me. I beg you..."
The burn patient pleaded to the young nurse.
The young nurse lowered her eyes, silently holding the syringe, preparing to give the other party an injection. Her arms were shaking slightly, but not very obvious. Seeing that she didn't say anything, the burn patient thought she was refusing. Regretfully and disappointedly, she closed her eyes and lay on the bed, feeling the pain all over her body. She frowned, gritted her teeth, tightly controlled her chest, and took deep breaths, trying to relieve the pain but failed.
It hurts so much.
It's still too painful.
It would be better if I were dead.
If you die you won't suffer this kind of pain.
If you are dead, you don't need painkillers or injections.
That's great.
Some people always like to say that if you have the courage to die, you should be able to live as well. After all, living does not require the courage to die.
That is complete nonsense. They are not in a desperate situation. They have no idea of the specific situation. No one can empathize with another person. People's joys and sorrows are not the same. They are simply talking without any concern, like they are standing by and watching a show. Even if they don't have that intention, their words have that meaning.
Anyone who felt a little uncomfortable would have felt suffocated after hearing such words, not to mention that he had always felt that he was about to die. When he heard such words, he flew into a rage and shouted to drive the people out, and asked the doctors and nurses for help. He didn't remember whether the doctors and nurses helped, but he thought that doctors and nurses were medical personnel, and they would not do it if they were afraid of medical disputes.
They probably couldn't help, because if they did, it would be easy for unscrupulous media to use eye-catching headlines and misleading photos to lead the public to talk nonsense. He didn't know whether it would lead to cyber violence, but he knew that if someone cyberbullied him now, he would be powerless to resist. He would not and did not want to ask others to do something he was unwilling to do.
That's not good.
He did not resent the medical staff for this, but it was too painful for him to have no medicine and not be allowed to die. He did not want to continue living like this for an hour, let alone a day or two. But there was no other way. He could not move at all and lay in bed, completely useless. He did not know whether others were willing to take care of him, but he did not like it.
He didn't like this kind of life, nor did he like himself like this, nor did he like this kind of body. He felt that he was far away from the ordinary word "healthy".
He felt the oncoming despair sawing back and forth around his neck.
Pain was the tip of a sickle and the sharp edge of a saw, resting on his neck, back and forth. He was like a dead wood, motionless, forced to accept this fate. He was unwilling, but had no choice. Wood does not have legs, and he was not wood, but his legs could not move, or, to be more precise, he lay there half-dead, his muscles had long since atrophied.
Moreover, the burns had weakened his limbs earlier. He felt that he could not even lift a cup of water. What could he do? He had thought about getting out of bed before, but he accidentally fell down and lay on the ground for a long time before a nurse came back to check on him. If someone had not helped him up from the ground, he would not have had the strength to climb up even by holding on to the cabinet next to him.
What is this?
Pain? It's more than that. But if we must talk about pain, just pain, he is simply wrapped in pain. Pain is extremely pale when described in words, and the feeling it gives people is extremely bad, like a thick and sticky darkness. To make an inappropriate analogy, his state of existence, in a sense, is like a glutinous rice ball, white on the outside and black on the inside.
For those who don't like it, this “glutinous rice ball” is greasy and hard to swallow, which is disgusting.
He made meaningless, fragmented and sporadic sounds, not knowing what he wanted to say or do, because he couldn't say anything or do anything.
The nurse finished the injection and was about to leave. She stood at the door and whispered, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep giving you injections until you fell off the bed. I didn't mean to do that."
After she finished speaking, she ran away without listening to the answer. She was afraid that she would hear unwanted scolding or insults, or that the other party did not hear what she said clearly and asked her to say it again. Or, she was afraid that the other party did not want to pay attention to her at all.
Even in this case of accidental injury, the patient is unwilling to say a word to the nurse. What does this mean?
The other party did not do the torture or humiliation on purpose, and it can even be said that they did not intend to do so and were not aware of it. However, the young nurse did not feel happy because it might mean that the other party was just telling the truth or making the calmest and gentlest reaction, which was already the calmest and gentlest reaction. However, she was still not satisfied, which was enough to prove that her skills were so poor that they were beyond redemption.
As the young nurse walked on the road, she began to cry again and muttered to herself: "Can't I be a nurse if I'm not born with talent? Does my numb hands and feet mean that my heart and my mind are numb? Does my clumsy hands mean that I'm born an insensitive villain? Am I really hopeless? Not really. Not really? Is it?"
She unknowingly walked in front of the elderly nurse and saw her standing at the door. She was startled and took a step back. She lowered her head in surprise and shame, quickly avoiding her gaze and avoiding the disrespectful misunderstanding of her face. She whispered, "I'm sorry."
Even though I don't know what I did wrong, it's right to apologize.
The young nurse quickly glanced at the older nurse, moved her feet, and tried to leave here and avoid the older nurse. She was willing to cry alone to vent her emotions or hide away to work hard to practice her skills. Either way was better than standing here in silence face to face with her predecessor who was like a wooden stake. Otherwise, she would always feel like she was being punished.
That was a terrible feeling.
The elderly nurse opened her arms and asked, "You look very sad. Do you want a hug? It is said that hugs make people feel a little better. I hope you don't feel so sad. Would you like to?"
The young nurse was stunned for a moment, tears streaming down her chin. She whimpered, took a step forward, threw herself into the arms of the older nurse, hugged her tightly, and said incoherently with sobs: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, and I didn't want to be like this. If I could be smarter, it would be much easier for everyone if I wasn't so stupid, right? Wuwuwu——"
She was crying here, and suddenly she paused, and her voice seemed to be choked by a ball of cotton in her throat.
She slowly raised her head, and the tears on her face turned into a green, sticky liquid. She was infected, dazed, and her eyes were dull. Her face was extremely pale, but her lips were a little red. She looked very strange. A subtle and weird smile gradually appeared on her face.
She wiped her face, her hands were full of green liquid. She let go of the older nurse and took a step back. Her ankle seemed a little twisted, as if she was about to fall, but she did not fall to the ground. Instead, her body tilted to the side a little, and she quickly stood up again. She stood in front of the older nurse, crying and smiling, "That's great! That's great!"
The older nurse asked, "What's good?"
The young nurse said, "I am so glad that I can get rid of this kind of life. It is so great that you don't give up on me. I will work hard and practice my skills more seriously. My needle insertion skills are much better than before. Do you want to see it? I will really practice."
Her obsession is that her skills are not good.
The older nurse touched the young nurse's hair like a true elder, and said with a gentle yet strange smile on her pale face, "Okay."
She gently took the nurse's hand, led her to the toilet not far away, opened the door and said, "Wash your hands before you go out."
The young nurse nodded, looked at the older nurse with great admiration, and murmured, "You are so kind, just like my mother. No, I don't have a mother. My mother died a long time ago. She is so annoying. It's like she never existed. It's really a good thing for me. Now I have you. Can you be my mother?"
The older nurse stroked her hair and nodded.
The young nurse was very happy to get the response. She lowered her head and washed her hands carefully.
The sound of water is lala.
The toilet door gradually closed.
Lok Yuen grabbed Jongin and said, "I think we should leave now."
Jongin was a little unsatisfied: "We are not afraid of infection anyway, what's the big deal? There is no urgent matter, so we need to go out now, right?"
Rakuen asked, "Do you want to see everyone die here? I don't think they will all die at once."
Jongin nodded. "I know that, but I don't have to see them all die before I'm willing to leave. As long as those two doctors and the patient are almost done, we'll leave, okay?"
He grabbed Leyuan and asked, "Is it not possible?"
Seeing that he really wanted to watch it, Leyuan hesitated for a moment and nodded: "Okay, let's wait until we finish watching their ending before leaving."
Before he finished speaking, a long stream of green liquid floated over from the side.
Leyuan raised his eyebrows, and Jongin pulled Leyuan up and ran away. The two of them disappeared from their original position in an instant, and the next second after they left, two moving corpses appeared at that position. They were the head nurse and the infectious patient. They lay on the ceiling, sniffed left and right, looked at each other, and found that there was indeed someone here just now, but now there was no one, which they found very strange.
Jongin took Leyuan and walked into the hidden space. He described it in detail. This was another world, which corresponded to the hospital but did not interfere with each other. People walking here would not be affected by the outside world and would not be infected. Leyuan and Jongin could still walk on the road and clearly saw the two corpses in front of them shaking their heads left and right to check the situation, but they were staring at that direction and there was no reaction from that side.
Because they can't even notice there are two more people here.
The problem seems to be solved this way.
Leyuan glanced outside and felt that dawn was approaching. However, since he had felt the same way before, it was hard to say exactly when the sky would brighten.
Le Yuan withdrew his gaze. The two corpses that were searching for prey on both sides had disappeared. It seemed that they could not only climb walls and run on rooftops, but also move very quickly, just like a parasite that made rapid progress after changing its skin and adapting to its new body.
Paradise blinked its eyes. The green viscous liquid was still dripping down bit by bit, and one could even see traces of drawing in the air. However, whether it was because of the far distance or because the liquid was too viscous, that drop of green liquid couldn't touch the ground for a long time, and the floor tiles were still in a clean state.
When the wind blew, the thread swayed in the air and looked very dangerous.
Leyuan pulled Jongin, and Jongin led Leyuan out, away from the sticky green liquid thread.
Leyuan kept looking at the thread, walked for a while, came back to his senses, pulled Jongin to look around and asked, "Where are we going?"
Jongin said, "Just take a walk, just like taking a stroll after dinner. If you don't want to walk, I can find you a wheelchair."
Paradise said, "I'm not talking to you just to ask for a wheelchair."
He paused, looked at Jongin again, blinked, and asked softly, "Can I really take a walk in a wheelchair?"
Jongin smiled and said, “Of course.”
He reached out from the side and pulled a door open. He didn't know where this door was because the decoration of the hospital and the park seemed to be similar. So he turned around and looked inside, and saw that it was a storage room. However, this was just a rough impression at first glance. After a closer look, he found that it was not a storage room, but an empty room with only a wheelchair. There was no one in it and no dust.
Jongin pushed out the wheelchair and asked Leyuan to sit down.
The park felt weird. I looked around the room and suddenly felt dazed. One moment I saw that the room had no windows, no doors, and no tiles. The next moment I saw a window hanging in the air of the room. The surface of the window was covered with a layer of gray-blue film, and underneath the film was a pattern of blue sky and white clouds. The glass behind it was in the form of colorful oblique squares, similar to the materials used in medieval churches.
The color feels a bit gray, but it fits the situation of being empty for a long time. It doesn't look dirty at all. Instead, it looks clean and a bit too empty.
The sunlight shone through layer after layer like a stolen thread of gold.
The sunlight fell on the ground, making the ground warm. When the wind blew, the vision in front of me was blurred. The sunlight actually rippled like the surface of water. It was very beautiful, but also very unreal. It was so unreal that it seemed fake, as if the camera had selected the fully blurred highly mosaic mode when taking the photo. Everything was unclear and no details could be seen.
Jongin held Leyuan's shoulders and shook him twice. Seeing that he had woken up, he closed the door and said to Leyuan with his back to him, "Don't look at it. It's not a good thing. You're crying. Didn't you notice?"
Leyuan wiped his face and asked, "Really?"
He asked doubtfully, "I didn't feel it, nor did I see tears on my hands. Did you see it wrong?"
Jongin turned around, held the handle of his wheelchair, and said with a smile, "How could I be mistaken?"
He paused and asked, "You won't be angry if I say I know you best?"
Leyuan shook his head: "No."
When he said this, there was a confused look on his face, as if he didn't know what he would hear next.
Jongin looked at his face, and suddenly he felt like playing a little mischief. He walked to the front of the park and said with a smile, "I saw it right. You cried. You were secretly shedding tears in your heart. Do you think I can't see it if you hide it? Even if you are smiling and lying to me, I can see it."
Leyuan was stunned for a moment, then curled the corners of his lips and smiled slowly: "Really? That's great. I thought it would be impossible for me to have someone like you by my side in this life."
He sounded a little pessimistic.
Jongin didn't like to hear this and pushed his wheelchair forward. The wheels seemed to be a little stuck and he moved slowly but steadily. The amusement park didn't have any objections as he only needed to sit here and didn't even need to take steps. There was really nothing to complain about. If it were in the past, he might not even have the chance to walk.
For example, one day after the school ended, the teacher left the classroom, the students prepared to go home, and the other students packed up and left. He was the last one to walk with his schoolbag. He always walked very slowly, and sometimes other people needed to stand at the door and watch him with the key before he would go out. He knew this was not good, but it was not something he could change overnight, so he simply ignored it.
So as to avoid adding more troubles to your heart and making it even more difficult to live.
What's more, no matter he changes or not, those people will always hate him, without exception, and there is no need to explain it specifically. He has no expectations of them. He tries hard every day to make himself feel that the current life is not bad, and he can get by anyway. What is there to be afraid of?
no.
No, nothing.
He should think so, he told himself.
So the days went on.
But sometimes accidents are inevitable.
Everyone else had left, and he was locked in a room that no one knew about. He had no key and could not think of a way out. He was cold, hungry, sleepy and tired. He simply did not know why he was still keeping his eyes open. He fell asleep with his eyes closed, hugging himself. He did not have many clothes on. At night, he was shivering and could not sleep at all. He could only keep his eyes open, staring blankly until dawn, when light from outside came in from high up in the room.
The light was so bright.
It was so bright that he could not open his eyes. He thought that since he had not slept all night, he could adapt to the change in light. However, he overestimated himself. The light fell into his eyes and brought out tears. When he saw the person who opened the door, he was crying uncontrollably. Others were surprised to see him here and asked him why he came so early.
He even locked himself in the room and asked if I had the key.
He didn't say anything, just shook his head, feeling like he was about to vomit. He didn't have a key, and he didn't lock himself in. However, saying these words would not change the fact that he might be targeted after staying here for a night, so he said nothing.
I'm really too lazy to talk anymore. If I talk too much, I'll get bored. Instead of going in front of others and being annoying, it's better to keep quiet. At least it will give me one less thing to worry about, and maybe I'll be happier.
I feel sad most of the time, so maybe.
Leyuan thought of the previous events, glanced at Jongin, and suddenly asked, "Did you know about those events?"
Jongin nodded, “I know.”
Leyuan asked: "Do you know everything that happened before?"
Jongin nodded, “I know.”
Paradise asked: "Do you think it is possible for us to go back?"
This time, Jongin didn't nod directly. He thought for a moment and said with a smile, "If you want to, it's okay. If you don't want to, then it's okay if you don't go. Do you want to go?"
The question was thrown back.
Leyuan sat in the wheelchair and thought for a long time, then shook his head: "I don't know, not now, maybe I will know in the future, then I will tell you, okay?"
Jongin said, “Okay.”
He smiled and said, "Tell me when the time comes. Don't forget to tell me. You don't have to tell me either. I will guess it."
He jokingly said, "What don't I know?"
Le Yuan did not answer, and they soon fell silent.
Following the movement, the two found two doctors in a room, who seemed to be arguing.
"It's not my fault at all."
The doctor on the right shouted.
"It's not your fault, is it my fault? He wasn't the patient I treated. You have to take responsibility. You should know how terrible a medical accident is! We will all be implicated by you. I only ask you to tell the truth, seek truth from facts, tell the higher-ups truthfully, and ask for forgiveness. That's already good enough. Do you think it doesn't matter if the patient dies? I tell you, it's impossible."
The doctor on the left said.
"That patient had no relatives and lived in the hospital. No one had visited him for a long time. Didn't you know that? He was just dead, not rotten. We just had an accident, we didn't kill him on purpose. He died because his physical condition worsened. We couldn't do anything about it. If we must find the culprit, the old woman who insisted on screaming beside us during the operation deserves to die the most."
The doctor on the right sneered and answered while sitting on the chair.
He looked very angry. He took a deep breath, and his chest rose and fell violently. Even his white coat was affected, and a whirring sound could be heard as if there was wind passing through.
"Do you think I don't know who that old woman is? She's a psychopath. How can you ask her to do anything? You should have cleaned up the scene before the operation. At least, you should have driven away the irrelevant people."
The doctor on the left said, "This is all your fault. You are the lead surgeon, you are the person in charge, you are the leader, and you are the one who liaises with the higher-ups. I didn't cause you any trouble in advance, which is good enough. Don't push your luck and just follow the normal process. Is this difficult for you? If you can't do it, I can do it for you. I don't think it's right to just muddle through like this."
The doctor on the right sneered, "You can go if you want, but I want to remind you not to act so righteous. If this thing gets out, it's not just me who will be affected, you will all suffer. Do you think that if you think it's nothing, others will think the same? Do you think you can represent this hospital? Do you think others will be grateful to you?"
He said with some pride: "Patients will panic because someone has died, and they are afraid that they will be the next one. They may ask to be transferred to another hospital. Unless they have more money, transfer is impossible. In other words, what you did was just to satisfy your own selfish desires, and you didn't consider their subsequent situation at all. They will only be in a state of panic all day long.
The future of doctors here will be affected. You don't care, and they don't care? Impossible. If they didn't care, they wouldn't have allowed me to do these things in the first place. Do you think I am acting on my own? No, you are just being self-righteous.
You close your eyes and don't want to face reality, you can't blame me.
There are also nurses and patients' families. When the family hears about the situation here, they will definitely not want the patient to continue to stay here. If the patient is here, they will be discouraged. If the patient is not here, they cannot afford the higher medical bills. What do you think they can do? It's a dilemma. The nurses will be blamed and questioned by them. Are the nurses willing?
If you expose me, the trouble you will cause is far more than this. Open your eyes and see. Don't always stay in your ivory tower. Others will not get used to you. Why do you make such a face? You don't think the nurses will be grateful to you, do you? Impossible. You can ask them. If they are not happy, they would have shouted a long time ago. "
The doctor on the left angrily asked, "Is killing someone a good deed and you should be rewarded? Am I acting according to the law or am I wrong and should be punished?"
The doctor on the right smiled and asked, "This is not a police station or a law firm. Do you think there are any laws in this place? If you said you were following the rules, I would think you were a rigid person who just couldn't adapt. But now it seems that you are not a normal person. You are here to cause trouble at the risk of your life."
His face turned cold. "If you ask me, you deserve to die. How dare you live till now? How can you come to me and ask me to do this and that with such a righteous look? Are you dreaming too much and think that others should listen to you? I tell you, it's impossible. Not today and not in the future."
The doctor on the left said angrily: "You are such a shameless person!"
The doctor on the right nodded: "Yes, I have no sense of shame, but who are you? You are here to criticize me? Do you think you are a good person? You have never considered others when you do things, and you still have the nerve to say it here. Do you only dare to say it to me? If you have the guts, go out and tell everyone in the hospital, and see what they will do to you? I think I am still too gentle."
He laughed and said, "Did my attitude give you the illusion that as long as you shout hard, you can succeed? Of course, things are not that simple, and you are not that stupid, right? Huh?"
The doctor on the left had no expression on his face. He sneered, "Okay. Even if you win, I can not mention this matter for the time being, but you don't think that this is the only thing that this hospital can explain to the outside world, right? No, you have always believed that there is nothing that cannot be said, but, if you say it out, either no one will believe it, or no one will be willing to listen.
I know what you mean. You think I am just an ant trying to shake a tree. I see no evidence to prove that I am better than you. I understand your state. I can tolerate it, but I want to tell you that things will not end like this."
The doctor on the right shrugged his shoulders and said, "It doesn't matter. You can do whatever you want. You don't have to come and tell me. It's useless anyway."
The doctor on the left sneered: "You will pay the price for your arrogance sooner or later."
The doctor on the right said, "Then don't bother me, old man. I will take care of it myself. You see, you have worked so hard for half a day and have not accomplished anything."
As he spoke, he smiled, looking arrogant and sarcastic.
The doctor on the left looked at him calmly, opened the door and walked out.
He seemed to be planning to work hard to calm himself down. Anyway, he couldn't go home now, which would count as absenteeism. Even though there was no need for him to stay in the hospital and no supervisor to monitor his work progress, he couldn't quickly change his years of habits. He thought, just make do with it. Sooner or later, these things will be resolved. It's just a matter of time.
He walked out to a patient, and the burn patient saw him and said to him what he had said many times: "If you can, please kill me. I don't want to live like this anymore. It's too painful and totally unnecessary. Everyone has given up on me, right? Stop pretending. How can I hold on without any medicine? I'm not trying to get out of drug addiction."
The doctor pretended he didn't hear anything, but before leaving, he paused, turned around and said to the patient, "No matter what you think, I want to tell you that we haven't given up on you. I think many people have said this to you. Let me tell you something else. It's not that we don't have the medicine for you, it's just that we don't have it for the time being. When we get it, we will give it to you. You don't need to mention it again.
We all know what you mean. No matter how many times you say it, it will be useless. We have no way to do anything.
As doctors or nurses, we can't possibly kill you, so just forget about it."
He said this and walked out.
The burn patient was lying on the bed inside, sobbing.
The doctor on the right stood up from the room. A young nurse walked in from the door. The doctor on the right was stunned for a moment and asked, "What are you doing here?"
His eyes paused, and he suddenly saw the green liquid on the nurse's clothes. He quickly realized the current situation: he was being targeted by an infectious disease.
He quickly found a way to leave the room and didn't intend to say another word to the young nurse. The young nurse seemed to be aware of this and didn't follow the doctor on the right all the time. Instead, she stood at the door and looked at the doctor's back with a smile. She looked very malicious. The doctor on the right felt his heart pounding and he was very uneasy. He didn't know how to defend himself, so he quickened his pace and walked away.
When he was halfway there, he heard a scream. He turned around and took a look, but saw nothing. He quickly ran in the opposite direction.
The scream came from the doctor on the left. After he left the patient's room, he saw the smiling little nurse standing on the road. The little nurse was sitting next to the table with her back to him, holding a small stainless steel bowl and a pair of pliers in her hand, as if she was eating something. The doctor on the left curiously went over to take a look and found that the little nurse was eating an alcohol cotton pad, which looked very much like yuba at first glance.
The doctor on the left widened his eyes and was stunned.
The young nurse swallowed the wet light brown alcohol cotton pad, turned her head with a smile, looked at the doctor on the left, and swallowed the forceps in her hand in one gulp, not even letting go of the bowl. After swallowing these things, she stood up and approached the doctor on the left as usual. She walked in front of the doctor on the left, sniffed and asked: "Doctor, are you here to check my needle technique?"
She looked very happy, stretched out her arm and said to the doctor on her left: "Look, I have practiced this many times."
The doctor on the left followed her gesture and looked at her arm. It was full of holes, needle holes and syringes. There was already some blood in the syringe, which seemed to have been sucked back in. It had been a while since the injection. The doctor on the left felt his scalp tingling and turned around to leave, but the nurse would not let him go. She held him back and asked, "Where are you going? Why don't you comment on my skills?"
The nurse's voice turned cold: "Do you think my skills are not good? You don't want to see? Do you think my skills insult your eyes and professional ethics? I know it's all my fault, but I didn't mean it. Why don't you forgive me? Why can people like you sit back and relax, but I'm busy every day and have nothing?"
She screamed, "This is not fair! This is not fair! I have been practicing for a long time, I have worked hard and seriously, I am not wrong! It is all your fault! It is all your fault! You should admit your mistakes, you should apologize, you should realize what you are doing! You are doctors and nurses! You have worked here longer than me, you should not make mistakes, you are wrong."
She stared at the doctor on her left and muttered, "Damn it. Damn it."
A thick green mucus suddenly splashed onto the doctor's face. The doctor screamed, lay on the ground and fainted.
When he opened his eyes, he was already a corpse.
He was also infected.
He slowly stood up from the ground, staggering against the wall, trying to find the doctor on the right.
"Doctor, doctor, where are you?"
The doctor on the left muttered as he walked down the road.
The doctor on the right hid in the ward for burn patients, shivering, sitting on a chair with a pale face. He wanted to leave but felt it was too slow, so he might as well rest here.
The doctor on the left came over and found him.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
