Su Congwen was very busy in the military academy and had no time to think about so many other things. Until one day, when the comrades in the school's communication room informed him again that Chen Xiaoyu was waiting for him at the school gate, Su Congwen suddenly realized that their contact had become more and more frequent.
"These are dumplings my mother made, stuffed with sauerkraut. Didn't you say before that you like dumplings stuffed with sauerkraut? Come and try them while they're hot." At the school gate, Chen Xiaoyu handed him a rice bucket.
Su Congwen didn't answer. He frowned and hesitated for a long time before saying, "I won't eat dumplings."
"What's wrong?" Chen Xiaoyu was stunned.
"I've been busy lately and may not have time to come out again. You... should also work hard. Running around like this all the time must be tiring."
The smile on Chen Xiaoyu's face faded. She could hear Su Congwen's avoidance of her and felt a little helpless.
"Why? Did I do something wrong? I thought we..."
"You're not wrong." Su Congwen interrupted her, "I was wrong. I didn't think too much about it before. I..."
He paused, "I don't want to think about relationships right now, sorry."
"Don't you want to think about feelings, or don't you want to think about the relationship between you and me?" Chen Xiaoyu asked.
Su Congwen didn't say anything.
Chen Xiaoyu understood. She smiled bitterly, "Then what about this time we spent together? We read books together, ate together, and did so many things together. Was all this just my wishful thinking?"
Su Congwen frowned and said, "We had dinner to thank you for returning my things. I went to the library to borrow materials and you followed me here."
"You!" Chen Xiaoyu was furious. "Su Congwen, why do you think I kept a tattered notebook for so long? Why did I bring it back from the battlefield? Why could I recognize you just by looking at your back?"
She was so angry that she yelled at Su Congwen: "Do you know that I have traveled to every corner of Spring City for this year just to meet you again? Do you know how happy I was after I really met you? I thought... I thought..."
She couldn't continue speaking, her voice was choked with sobs.
A trace of emotion flashed across Su Congwen's face, but it disappeared in an instant.
"I'm sorry, if I gave you some kind of misconception, I apologize." Su Congwen tried to keep his tone strong and said, "But I really don't want to think about this right now."
"Su Congwen, you are a liar!"
Chen Xiaoyu glared at him fiercely and ran away crying.
Su Congwen stood at the school gate for a long time before returning to school. He felt a sense of depression in his heart, but forced himself to ignore it.
After this day, he thought he would never see Chen Xiaoyu again, but he didn't expect that she would come more frequently. No matter whether he went out to see her or not, the things she brought would always inexplicably end up in his hands.
After a few times, many people in the school knew that there was a beautiful nurse in Chuncheng Hospital who was chasing after Su Congwen all day long. Many people envied him openly or secretly and said a lot of jokes.
Su Congwen felt even more annoyed.
He took the initiative to find Chen Xiaoyu.
"You are finally willing to see me?" Chen Xiaoyu stood in front of him with a victorious smile.
Su Congwen didn't smile at all. He looked at Chen Xiaoyu and said, "I came to you today because I wanted to make things clear with you."
"According to my plan, I will never marry or have children in this life."
The smile on Chen Xiaoyu's face froze.
"Why?"
"Because I'm not sure whether I will go to the battlefield again in the future, but what I can be sure of is that as long as the country needs me, I will not hesitate."
"What does this have to do with whether you get married or not?" Chen Xiaoyu didn't understand.
"For the past two years, I've been on the battlefield. I've witnessed countless separations and deaths. My family worries about me every moment and misses me all the time. I have no choice but to live with fewer worries in my future life. Therefore, getting married and having children is not a necessary proposition for me."
"There were about 130 people in our company, but in the end, only the company commander and I were left." Su Congwen looked at her, his voice calm. "You know what? My life was saved by my comrade. I survived, but he died on the battlefield. When I brought his ashes back to his hometown, his wife and daughter were heartbroken. I will never forget their tears."
"A wife has lost her beloved husband, a child has lost her beloved father, I don't want to see this anymore."
"I can't imagine what would be waiting for them if one day I went to the battlefield again with these concerns. Missing them, fear, it would be a long torture."
"I am a soldier. I will not refuse any order to set off. I also don't want my loved ones to bear all this for me. So, instead of letting the pain happen, it is better to stop it at the source."
This was the most words Chen Xiaoyu had ever heard Su Congwen say at one time. She looked at Su Congwen's serious face and found it extremely ridiculous.
"So, you're afraid that if something unexpected happens to you while you're with me, I won't be able to handle it?"
"Yes." Su Congwen admitted directly, "Chen Xiaoyu, you are very good. It is me who is not worthy of you. You are more suitable to find an excellent man and live a peaceful and stable life."
After saying that, he turned and left.
After this incident, Chen Xiaoyu never came to see him again until now, when she miraculously appeared in S Province, thousands of miles away.
"Let me answer what you said last time." Chen Xiaoyu looked at him with a smile.
"I've thought seriously about what you said before. I've thought about it for a long time. Now I can tell you with certainty that I want to be with you. The prerequisite for this is that I support any decision you make, and I'm mentally prepared to bear the consequences of losing you."
Su Congwen was stunned.
"Su Congwen, you're a soldier, yes, but have you forgotten? I, Chen Xiaoyu, may have only been a nurse transferred from the hospital, but I've also been on the battlefield. I've seen the cruelty of war, and the separations of life and death you mentioned. I'm not that fragile. Even if... even if you go to the battlefield again in the future and something happens to you, I won't regret it. I'll only be... proud of you."
"Sometimes, family members are not just a source of concern, but also a source of motivation and courage. They can make you invincible and get you home safely." Chen Xiaoyu smiled brightly. "Because you're afraid of bad consequences, you simply prevent them from happening. Su Congwen, you're the timid one."
"I'm not afraid, so what are you afraid of?"
Su Congwen looked at her in shock, speechless.
These words have exhausted all of Chen Xiaoyu's courage. She came here from so far away just wanting an answer.
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