Chapter 40 In a daze, I peek into your heart and find comfort in your smile...
Who exactly is Li Tiansheng?
Li Qingyun was filled with this one question.
The mere mention of this name was enough to cause two top-tier experts to fall to the ground in despair.
No one stood up to explain the embarrassing scene.
Li Qingyun didn't understand what their silence meant. All he could see were two pitiful people sitting on the ground, one in a white robe covered in dust, head bowed, letting cold sweat drip down.
A man in rough, common clothes was panting heavily, his pupils dilated, barely managing to keep himself from collapsing to the ground with his hands.
It all happened because of a man named Li Tiansheng.
Li Qingyun also began to feel scared.
But he wasn't afraid of Li Tiansheng; he was afraid that Chang Yubai had found common ground with others, while he couldn't participate.
What happened?
Shouldn't Li Hongyi have come for Li Qingyun?
Why is it that Master is being persecuted now?
What exactly did that person, lurking in the master's fears, do? And what was Li Hongyi's relationship with that person?
Li Qingyun couldn't understand it. He still felt that he should take action to get rid of Li Hongyi. It had only been a short time and a series of terrible things had happened. If he let this guy continue to get involved, who knew if his good days with Chang Yubai would be over?
But Li Qingyun stopped her murderous intent.
He remembered that Chang Yubai had admitted that Li Hongyi could not die, and that if Li Hongyi died, it would cause a huge mess.
That was definitely not the scene Chang Yubai wanted to see.
However... Li Hongyi is very strong. If Li Qingyun wants to kill a cultivator at the peak of the Xuanwu Realm, this may be his only chance to make a move.
Li Qingyun was unsure whether he should take action or not; he might never encounter a moment as tragic as Li Hongyi's again.
Fortunately, Chang Yubai came to his senses in time and saw Li Qingyun pondering over Li Hongyi, repeatedly drawing and sheathing the long sword at his waist.
Chang Yubai took a deep breath, trying to get himself back to normal.
At the very least, one should calm down and focus.
"Xiaoyun." He called out to Li Qingyun, who turned around instantly.
Chang Yubai's hand was still tightly gripping Li Qingyun's arm. From the moment he lost his mind until he fell to the ground, he had not let go. His fierce grip made the area he was holding so tightly that it was unrecognizable. It was impossible to tell whether the arm under the clothes was injured or whether it had been pinched red by his hasty force.
"Does it hurt?" Chang Yubai wanted to lift it up to take a look, but Li Qingyun stopped him.
"Master, are you alright?" More than her own injuries, Li Qingyun wanted to know if her master had settled down.
He hadn't seen Chang Yubai lose his composure many times, but at least those times he lost his composure for reasons he knew. Now, Li Qingyun was completely bewildered, as if he had been rejected outside a transparent door, and could only watch as Chang Yubai inside looked utterly dejected.
"What happened? Master? Who is Li Tiansheng? You did this because of Li Hongyi..." Li Qingyun had many questions he wanted to ask, but before he could finish speaking, he was pulled into an embrace.
"Don't ask, Xiaoyun. I'm scared." Chang Yubai was still trembling.
After he asked many of his deepest questions, Chang Yubai regained his initial ferocity.
"I'm afraid if you know too much, I'll lose you."
"...I don't understand." Li Qingyun looked up at the sky, her eyes filled with confusion.
The transparent partition door had been thickened, so now he couldn't even hear his master's voice; he could only watch helplessly and worry anxiously.
He turned his gaze back to Li Hongyi.
He didn't know what Li Hongyi was afraid of. He couldn't calm down for a long time and even felt a little nauseous. Of course, it could be that the man had been chasing him too hard and was already exhausted. This terrible state might be a natural reaction after his body had been exploited.
To be able to keep up with the speed of a Venerable Martial Realm expert, especially one with unparalleled movement skills on the Martial Continent, Li Hongyi must have paid a considerable price.
But why?
Why should I be wary of myself because I'm too outstanding? Why do I possess a true face that terrifies my master? Why...?
We must spare no effort to pursue the master and his apprentice.
Li Qingyun stared intently at Li Hongyi, hoping that the guy would recover quickly and give him an answer.
After a long time, so long that Li Qingyun even thought time had ceased to exist, Chang Yubai had stopped being afraid and just kept holding him without saying a word.
Li Hongyi changed to a lying position to recuperate, his eyes lifeless, as if he had completely given up thinking.
For a long, long time.
A hoarse voice finally broke the silence: "Let's pretend nothing happened, okay?"
It was Li Hongyi who spoke first.
Li Qingyun quickly looked at Chang Yubai: "...Master?"
Chang Yubai did not give an answer immediately.
"Do you need me to change my face?" Li Hongyi's hands were still weak, but he still trembled as he touched the acupoint. As long as Chang Yubai said "yes," he could change his face by touching the acupoint.
Chang Yubai was still pondering.
Li Qingyun looked at her master with eyes full of worry.
He reached out with his other free hand to grasp Chang Yubai's, and softly called out, "Master?"
Chang Yubai finally looked up at him.
"No need." Chang Yubai's eyes were calm, so calm that it startled Li Qingyun.
Li Qingyun then realized that Chang Yubai's silence just now was not due to being lost in his own consciousness, but rather that he was activating the calming and tranquilizing technique to force himself to calm down.
“There’s no need to disguise myself, I’m fine now,” Chang Yubai replied.
The moment he replied, Li Hongyi's hand, which he had been holding up, fell to the ground with a thud, showing that his efforts to recover had been completely drained once again.
“Okay.” Chang Yubai responded to Li Hongyi’s first question. “Regarding your previous sentence, I said, okay.”
Let's pretend nothing happened.
"Ha." Li Hongyi comfortably lay back down.
After lying down for a while, I don't know what I was thinking about, but I suddenly laughed out loud.
Li Qingyun felt uncomfortable listening to his loud laughter.
Li Hongyi's laughter was bitter, filled with reluctance and resentment, which reminded Li Qingyun of some unpleasant childhood memories.
At that time, he was also suffering and desperate.
It was a feeling of helplessness in the face of overwhelming fate, with no way out no matter what... Was Li Hongyi also trapped by this feeling?
Li Qingyun subconsciously reached for the Abandoned Heaven Sword at her waist.
Chang Yubai stared at the hand that had been pulled away, his gaze following Li Qingyun's departing movements.
It turns out he just wanted to touch Qitian.
Chang Yubai's tense eyes regained their composure.
The feeling of losing your composure is awful.
At least judging from the recovery after the collapse, it was too mentally and physically exhausting, and it will be difficult to return to a normal state in a short time.
The lingering influence of a certain murderer is too strong, like a thorn deeply embedded in the heart, impossible to remove, and painful to even touch.
What kind of feeling is that?
The moment his reason crumbled, Chang Yubai felt as if he were living a grand dream.
In his dream, his soul left his body, wandering aimlessly in the void.
Suddenly, a face belonging to Li Tiansheng appeared before him. He saw the person he hated and loathed the most. He should have rushed up angrily and questioned the murderer about why he had gone to such lengths to kill everyone and why he wouldn't even listen to his explanation.
Why was killing his master not enough? He only wanted to take his master home. He had no intention of competing with Li Tiansheng. He just wanted to survive until Li Tiansheng left Guanwu and then try his best to make a name for a pitiful person named Li Qingyun.
Why not even give him this opportunity?
Chang Yubai died so easily that he didn't even realize what his death meant.
All his painstakingly planned hopes were shattered. His character was defined as an accomplice and he was killed on the spot. He didn't even have a chance to speak in the face of the protagonist's anger.
However, he could not feel any pain.
That's the most painful part.
He had even forgotten the horror of death.
He forgot his anger, sorrow, and heartache at the time, leaving only the three words "Long Aotian" etched in his consciousness, becoming a persistent demon.
It turns out that he didn't even have the courage to fight Li Tiansheng.
He was so terrified of the protagonist's existence.
How can someone like me protect the people I cherish from the protagonist's clutches?
"Ha..." He let out a wry laugh.
But why? Chang Yubai didn't understand why he was so afraid of Li Tiansheng that he would turn and run away at the mere sight of him, yet he hadn't developed a mental demon over the years.
Is it because we never realized it?
But now that he has seen the fear in his heart, why hasn't the inner demon appeared yet?
He could not hear the devil's whispers in his ear, nor the words that tempted him to fall.
It seemed that even the devil wouldn't bother with a pitiful person like himself.
No, it doesn't seem so.
Chang Yubai quietly peered into the depths of his heart, a place he had never been before.
He seemed genuinely unafraid of his inner demons.
[I advise you to calm your mind and not let external things disturb your concentration.]
[I say, do not look back.]
Go wherever you want to go.
Brother~ Master~ Please teach me this move~
I'm so sorry, I'll never leave you again—
"You saved me too soon, Master! I still had one more move to use!"
Master, don't you love me looking like this?
Master, I don't understand.
Master…
His vision blurred again.
One by one, Li Qingyun passed through his heart.
The gentle, light-browed Venerable Qingyun smiled at him, but turned away without hesitation. He reached out to grab him, but couldn't even touch the hem of his robe.
Eight-year-old Xiaoyun burst out, chattering away, running around with seemingly inexhaustible energy. Her mischievous smile and feigned pitifulness were both exasperating and endearing. He jogged after her but couldn't catch up.
Li Qingyun, now in his teens, had grown taller, but still retained a youthful naiveté, an arrogance befitting a prodigy. Of course, with Chang Yubai around, no one could shake off that pride. He watched with amusement, then stepped forward, only to find Li Qingyun nowhere to be seen.
[elder brother. ]
He suddenly turned around.
Deep inside, a little cloud, the least common kind of cloud, has appeared.
The young man, in his early twenties, dressed in a simple white shirt, was blushing, his earlobes also flushed. Li Qingyun tilted his head awkwardly, his lips pressed tightly together, as if he wanted to say the most unspeakable words in the world. But for some reason, after struggling for a long time, only a soft, lingering sound escaped his lips…
[Brother~]
This is Xiaoyun.
Li Qingyun.
He was the apprentice whom he took great care of.
This time, he didn't go over, letting the image of his beloved disciple in his heart dissipate once again.
His heart returned to peace.
The fear that once existed had become so fragile after each passing of Li Qingyun, easily shattered.
He will not develop inner demons.
Compared to those so-called fears, he still had people to cherish, things to strive for, and he wanted to ensure that he and Li Qingyun would not be tainted by fate in this life, and would not end up dying in the wilderness.
How could he possibly give up his hope of living because of Li Tiansheng?
He also wanted to give Xiaoyun a bright future, a tranquil and leisurely future just like in his previous life.
In that future, there is the same courtyard, the Venerable Qingyun with his head bowed and a gentle smile, and him who is unconvinced in his heart but respectful in his words...
Huh?
Chang Yubai's thoughts came to a halt.
[Does Master not like seeing me like this?]
But you clearly like me that way.
Often, it is only after the white-haired man realizes the truth that things are not yet clear.
So that's what Xiaoyun meant.
That look...
It turns out, it came from myself.
Someone saw into his heart before he did.
Ah...yes.
How could he overlook the fact that Xiaoyun has the Wishing Stone?
His gaze returned from his inner turmoil, the blurry vision faded, and he was back to the disheveled reality.
He collapsed onto the ground in the wilderness, with Xiaoyun still obediently held in his arms, while Li Hongyi, not far away, was breathing heavily to regain his strength.
Everything returns to reality.
Chang Yu laughed in vain.
After Li Hongyi's bitter laugh ended, Chang Yubai joined in with laughter.
Li Qingyun was startled by his sudden madness and turned around to say something, but met Chang Yubai's face, which was laughing heartily.
Unlike Li Hongyi, Chang Yubai has a very cheerful smile.
"Xiaoyun." Chang Yubai grabbed the hand that had wandered off to touch the sword, gripping it tighter and tighter, his smile growing ever more profound.
Li Qingyun's heart skipped a beat. She was inexplicably terrified by his appearance, but she listened attentively.
Chang Yubai smiled brightly, and even after he stopped laughing, his smile, as radiant as the morning sun, was infectious to the person he was looking at: "Xiaoyun, forget what you saw at the Jingyuan Stone."
Li Qingyun froze.
His panic was justified; some things were far beyond what was expected.
He thought that given Chang Yubai's slowness, he might not realize this until the day he finally understood.
Wow, that was fast...
Chang Yubai shook her head and warned him in a gentle yet firm tone: "Xiaoyun, that's not the you I wanted."
The so-called peaceful and harmonious life is nothing more than his inability to let go of the past, and his obsession with the unfulfilled regrets of the past.
But that's just a memory.
That shouldn't be the expectation he imposed on Xiaoyun.
Only when he truly understood his own heart did Chang Yubai realize how foolish he had been over the past few years.
People are different. Life cannot be turned back.
He couldn't let his subconscious continue to control him; what he should give Xiaoyun wasn't the past she longed for.
The future should be one that Xiaoyun herself controls.
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The author's note: One master and one apprentice placed their hopes for the future in memories, while the other mistook memories for the future. The judge ruled that Jingyuan Stone was fully responsible for this.
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