Chapter 87 My heart is not made of stone, yet it also has compassion for itself…
Li Tiansheng remembered that the night before, he had nothing to do, so he went back to his consciousness space to check on Li Hongyi, whom he had hastily left there.
At the time, Li Tiansheng's idea was to first obtain information about Chang Yubai and find out what Li Hongyi and the other two had gone through.
When he returned, Li Tiansheng was relaxed. After years of pressure, he finally had a chance to unload his burdens. His mindset was no longer as tense as before. Consequently, he went to find Li Hongyi with a light and comfortable feeling.
But Li Hongyi was still very afraid of him.
Li Tiansheng watched as Li Hongyi went from being very open and outgoing towards him to becoming reserved and demure. In the past, he was only concerned with other things and didn't care much about Li Hongyi's feelings. All he needed was someone who was obedient enough and wouldn't cause trouble.
That domineering attitude gradually eroded Li Hongyi's confidence, and the more time passed, the more he feared him. However, the two already had a connection that went far beyond blood ties, and Li Hongyi would still come to comfort him from time to time, fulfilling Li Tiansheng's initial needs.
But Li Hongyi always forced a smile on his face.
This time it was even worse. Perhaps knowing that this was about to be the last cycle, knowing that all the efforts were finally coming to an end, Li Hongyi completely ignored him and bumped into him.
Throughout the entire process, Li Hongyi remained nonchalant, only talking and not asking questions. Apart from recounting the entire process of his encounter and interactions with Bai Huang and his disciple at the beginning, he responded listlessly to every question Li Tiansheng raised.
Every word Li Hongyi uttered was an answer to Li Tiansheng's doubts.
After Li Tiansheng had asked all the questions he wanted, the consciousness space fell into a silent void.
And then? Don't you have any questions? — Li Tiansheng didn't believe he didn't have something on his mind.
But Li Hongyi had his head down, so Li Tiansheng couldn't see his expression and could only hear the intermittent sounds coming from beside him.
[Will you... will you restart it again?]
[For example, a completely new development, starting everything from scratch or something.]
Li Hongyi's question wasn't subtle, but his voice was hushed, making it sound less like he was discussing important matters and more like he was pleading for something.
Li Tiansheng said he didn't know, that he hadn't decided yet.
He may have spoken vaguely, but his inner thoughts never stopped.
He said he didn't know and wasn't sure whether to start a new world, but in his heart, he preferred not to restart and to maintain the status quo.
If it weren't for the impending catastrophe, the Guanwu Continent wouldn't have needed to be overturned because of its so-called past.
The world of Guanwu is not only home to the defined cannon fodder and characters, but also to the many ordinary people hidden in the streets. These people have done nothing wrong, nor have they confused their own lives. So why should they pay the price of having their lives denied and having to start over for the sake of others' unrealistic sacrifices?
Even at the end of the story, when many characters suddenly realize their mistakes and look back with regret, it is still something they themselves did.
People should be responsible for their every action; past experiences of life or death are merely the path they have traveled.
Time is best at blowing away the past and extinguishing all joys and sorrows.
In a few decades or centuries, these past events will fade into dust and be forever forgotten by the new generation.
The future is fresh and bright, so why start all over again? And how can we guarantee that things will turn out as we wish after starting over?
Where in this world can there be a truly perfect world?
But Li Tiansheng really hadn't decided yet.
He didn't know whether the battle with the Heavenly Orbit would affect the common people, or whether it would cause severe damage to the Guanwu Continent. If he really had to pay a heavy price, then he would have to consider whether to restore the world to its original state and let people forget the fear and displacement of this life.
That was a future that even he couldn't be sure of; he couldn't make any guarantees.
He couldn't give Li Hongyi a definite answer.
Li Tiansheng could only watch as Li Hongyi's head drooped lower and lower, completely eliminating any possibility of eye contact with him.
Time slowly passed, and finally, in the silent and dark space of consciousness, only Li Tiansheng's sigh remained.
Just as he was now gazing at this unformed body, he was filled with conflicting emotions.
Li Tiansheng then realized that he should have explained why he hesitated. Based on his actions, Li Hongyi probably mistakenly thought that he would choose to restart a new world.
No wonder Li Hongyi didn't want to talk to him and hung her head sadly.
What Li Hongyi cared about most was leaving a trace in this world. If he could preserve the progress of this world, that would be fine. Li Hongyi had already lived for thirty years and had done everything he needed to do. Even if he died and his soul disappeared, there would still be people in this world who would remember that Li Hongyi had come and that there would be traces he left behind, so that he wouldn't just be a fleeting passerby.
But if everything ends and a new world begins, Li Hongyi will have no chance to participate. He won't even have time to do anything to make a name for himself, and no one in the world will know that there was such a person as him on the Guanwu Continent.
How is this any different from abandoning morality?
It was this body that came from Xiao Xiaolu. Li Tiansheng witnessed the God of the Underworld collapse and scatter his soul due to the hopelessness of the Great Dao, and only then did he understand the heavy pressure behind his neglect of Li Hongyi.
Li Hongyi has always been able to take good care of herself and share these fun things with him.
Even if Li Tiansheng didn't want to hear it, in his view, Li Hongyi was a healthy person who could handle any trouble on his own.
But he forgot that Li Hongyi's origin was also Li Tiansheng.
There's no reason why Li Hongyi could avoid the things that would cause Li Tiansheng pain.
Li Hongyi would also subconsciously keep those thoughts that Li Tiansheng would conceal to himself and remain silent.
Darkness can devour human emotions. After spending too much time in that boundless space of consciousness, not only did Li Tiansheng himself become taciturn, but he also gradually lost the ability to offer words of comfort or make concrete and practical guarantees. He even gradually closed himself off from the world.
The darkness was eerie, and even Li Hongyi was affected.
However, Li Hongyi needed to use his passion to influence himself—this was the responsibility he had initially assigned to Li Hongyi, something Li Hongyi simply couldn't escape.
What were Li Hongyi's feelings when they met each time they restarted and reunited?
Li Tiansheng discovered that he couldn't even remember when Li Hongyi's fear originated.
"ha……"
He thought about saving many people, including himself, but in the end, he treated his closest companions as mere tools for companionship.
How could Li Hongyi not be terrified when such a gaze fell upon him?
Who would willingly be materialistic?
"But why should I dwell on these things..."
Li Tiansheng's murmur was faint, like the buzzing of a mosquito, and could not be heard clearly from a distance.
Why should I care about Li Hongyi?
He was merely a tool.
It's an anchor, a companion, a way to find joy, a tool to navigate change, it's...
It was him.
A completely different version of myself.
He recalled a past life where he lay on a hammock in Lian Wumiao's courtyard, unable to fall asleep, his mind filled with thoughts of how to resolve the impending predicament of the four major sects and how to deal with the crisis of the Evil Rakshasa's siege of the central region.
He simply can't do these things with his current strength. He needs to find ways to become stronger, such as going back to Ghost Island to see if there are any methods to deal with evil spirits.
Lian Wumiao said, "You should take better care of yourself."
She didn't know that Li Tiansheng was born with the body of a demon, and only knew that Ghost Island burned people and took lives, so it was not a place one should go to often.
You should cherish yourself more.
You should have been the person who loved yourself the most in the world.
Those words may have come from the elders' heartache.
But looking at the present, Li Tiansheng has a new feeling.
He raised his hand, took in the body from the spiritual spring, and found a secluded spot in the mustard seed space. He then circulated the surrounding spiritual energy, refined and shaped it, and created a brand new image of Li Hongyi according to his understanding of him.
The condensed array hangs below, and once the body takes shape, Li Hongyi's divided soul can be inserted into it, becoming a brand new human.
Perhaps, his original intention was not to let Li Hongyi disappear.
Perhaps from the moment he named Li Hongyi, the anchor point was no longer the anchor point.
Perhaps from the very beginning, he never truly regarded Li Hongyi as a tool.
Who would tolerate a tool repeatedly violating their needs, abandoning its owner to pursue a completely different life?
Li Tiansheng wanted everyone to be free from Guanwu's predetermined storyline, and how could this not include Li Hongyi?
After much struggle and profound realization, Li Tiansheng decided to first help Li Hongyi have his own life.
...
Tian Shu Ji (天枢机).
One of the four major sects in Zhongzhou, it is always bustling with guests, many of whom are highly respected figures who come to seek guidance on their destiny and whether their future life path will be as they wish.
However, if one reads too much about the secrets of heaven, one is more likely to have problems. Compared to the probability of evil cultivation in other sects, the Heavenly Pivot is uniquely strong in cultivating bad seeds.
Anyone who has looked back on their unsatisfactory life and is powerless to change it will find it difficult to accept those painful disasters with a cheerful attitude.
What cultivator doesn't want to defy fate and change their destiny? They cultivate diligently until they're old, isn't that all they want for a good future?
Isn't becoming a heretical practitioner a way of changing one's fate?
Thus, before the Xuanji Star Compass, there were many disciples clutching their compasses, pleading with the heavens for their fate, and then, in their despair, falling into a state of demonic possession.
Chang Yubai and his two companions arrived at an inopportune time, just in time to witness this legendary scene.
Li Tiansheng was too lazy to play the shoving game with cannon fodder, so he simply slapped the man unconscious and then promptly handed him over to the elder who was leading the way, letting them deal with him themselves.
The entire process was smooth and seamless, completed in one go. Before the onlookers could even react, the evil cultivator was already being held in the elder's hand with his eyes closed.
Chang Yubai resisted the urge to applaud, not wanting to embarrass Elder Tian Shuji in front of him.
Li Qingyun replied calmly, "Heh."
His laughter was so light and his volume was so well controlled, like a gust of wind, that it was impossible to catch a trace of it and one might mistake it for an illusion.
Once the area in front of the Xuanji Star Instrument was finally clear, Li Tiansheng took out the fragments of the Star Instrument and compared them one by one with the positions of the giant instrument. Finally, he found a piece that had been pried off in a nook and cranny.
The three of them looked at each other, waiting for someone to announce what the next step would be.
Chang Yubai thought for a moment, took the fragment, and placed it directly at the gap.
Li Tiansheng: "I'll try to pull Him over with a thread."
The silver threads from before inspired Li Tiansheng: if laws could be materialized, then he would try to materialize the celestial orbit and pull it over.
However, the medium is inevitably inseparable from the Xuanji Star Chart.
The proposal was unanimously approved.
After Chang Yubai nodded and fixed the gap, when Li Tiansheng's palm touched the physical Xuanji Star Orb, Chang Yubai suddenly looked up and found that the star track had actually started to move on its own.
"Yubai!"
It seemed as if I heard someone calling urgently in my ear.
But the scene before him became increasingly blurry, and his mind became muddled and unclear. He shook his head in a daze, wanting to ask a question out of concern, but when the words reached his lips, he suddenly couldn't remember what he wanted to say.
"...What am I thinking?"
He frowned.
Then, a soft call came. He turned around and saw several people, whose faces he couldn't see clearly, standing in the living room, smiling and greeting him as he returned.
He looked down and realized he was standing in the entryway, with his slippers lying at his feet.
Chang Yubai: "..."
Chang Yubai: "…………"
Chang Yubai: "Ha!!!"
He became angry again.
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