Chapter 36 Diary: Zhou Luoyin's Past
Zhou Luoyin has been having a recurring dream lately, a dream that involves not only herself but also some people she doesn't know.
Furthermore, although these dreams are just scattered fragments, they can be seen to have a certain time sequence, from her high school years to her university years, and then to her work after graduating from university.
Through the time displayed in the dream scenes, Zhou Luoyin could tell that the last time those scenes were displayed was nine years from now, which meant that she had been working for some time.
If these dream fragments are arranged in chronological and logical order from beginning to end, Zhou Luoyin probably went abroad to study alone before graduating from high school for some reason. After graduating successfully, she returned to China and happened to meet An Nianyu, who had gone abroad to study around the same time as her, but in a different country. He had also returned to China and had already started working.
Since the two former high school classmates had run into each other by chance, they chatted for a while at a coffee shop near where they met. After all, as everyone who has studied for so many years and gone through several rounds of college entrance exams knows, it is not an easy thing to meet an old classmate again after graduation, even if they are in the same city.
The two chatted casually about their recent situations at the coffee shop for a while before parting ways. Not long after, Zhou Luoyin learned of An Nianyu's unexpected death, and the dream fragments were never followed up.
Aside from the occasional minor differences, this dream has been repeating itself recently, and overall it's pretty much the same.
At first, Zhou Luoyin felt very strange, wondering why she would have such unfounded dreams about her future. She even fantasized that she might be the kind of "character awakening" physique often seen in anime, but nothing substantial had actually happened in her life. In the end, she gave up on this unrealistic speculation.
In short, everything was stirring up a storm in her mind, but remained relatively calm in reality, until one rainy day when Zhou Luoyin was standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus. Just a faint light from the bus lights transported her to the world of her dreams.
After that, Zhou Luoyin felt that she had spent some time in that "future" dream world, and the things in the dream were verified one by one.
In an instant, those scenes flashed before her eyes. Before Zhou Luoyin could fully process what was happening, she encountered An Nianyu, who had already returned to China for work, and then, just a few days later, learned of An Nianyu's unexpected death and attended his funeral.
When Zhou Luoyin snapped out of her daze, she was already standing at the door of her "future dream" home...
Finally, on a cloudy day, Zhou Luoyin and Ning Yanzhao brushed past each other, scattering documents all over the ground.
When Zhou Luoyin first saw Ning Yanzhao, she felt a strange sense of familiarity, but she didn't think much of it at the time.
Because of commuting or other reasons, people often unconsciously see the same people repeatedly, leaving a faint impression in their minds. However, unless something triggers that impression, the memory will never be awakened.
For example, when Zhou Luoyin was learning to dance, because of the similar class schedule, she often bumped into some classmates from the dance class next door. Even if they didn't know each other's names, if they met again in other places after changing into their own clothes, they would suddenly realize with just a glance: "I've seen her before, who is she? I remember now, it's her."
Zhou Luoyin thought at the time that Ning Yanzhao might be a stranger from a school she had studied at, or someone she had often seen on the subway.
Zhou Luoyin thought that everything was the same as usual that day. After saying goodbye to Ning Yanzhao and making a phone call, she continued in the direction she was originally going. She had some very important things to confirm.
Having arrived in her "future dream" by accident for reasons unknown, Zhou Luoyin has no choice but to quickly adapt to her current life.
After arriving here, Zhou Luoyin discovered something amazing: she felt that her current job wasn't entirely unfamiliar with her. Whenever a task was presented to her, she felt that she should do it.
Zhou Luoyin thought this situation was similar to what those top English students said: even if they couldn't understand the questions at all, they could answer them accurately by relying on their "feeling for the language," although she didn't know why.
Furthermore, Zhou Luoyin's current job mainly involves writing various documents in the office, which is not very difficult for her. In short, she managed to avoid being exposed in front of others.
Just yesterday, while Zhou Luoyin was tidying up at home, she found an old diary in a drawer of her desk. She flipped through a few pages and read the contents; it seemed to be a diary she had started writing during her high school years.
Unlike in elementary and middle school, when she had plenty of time to dedicate an hour each day to writing in her diary, Zhou Luoyin was very busy with her studies in high school and also had to train for her dance skills. She could only write in her diary every few days, so this one thick notebook could hold all her memories from her high school years.
Because I didn't use up all the time during high school, I still had plenty of free time to write in college.
Zhou Luoyin has kept a diary since she was a child, which her family all know. However, she doesn't particularly enjoy writing a diary; she simply uses it as a means of expressing her emotions.
Because Zhou Luoyin was not an extroverted person to begin with, and because of her complicated background since childhood, she had all sorts of feelings she wanted to express, but she didn't have anyone she could completely trust to confide in. So she wrote all her thoughts in her diary.
Zhou Luoyin continued this habit of writing a diary for more than ten years until she discovered that Zhou Luoyi would secretly enter her room when she was not at home, and she realized that she was no longer "safe".
However, Zhou Luoyin did not want to give up this long-standing habit, nor did she want Zhou Luoyi to find out that she had discovered it. At the same time, she was afraid that Zhou Luoyi would know what she had written. So she began to take measures, which was to write in a "language" that only she knew.
Even if Zhou Luoyi discovered that Zhou Luoyin had changed her writing style, he couldn't question her based on his position, otherwise all the past events would be exposed.
Zhou Luoyin originally thought she was "special", but later she found that there were many people on the Internet who "created" texts that only they could understand, just like her, and she began to laugh at herself for being silly.
Even if you feel you are special, you will pale in comparison to the vast population of this land.
However, the fact that everyone has different starting points but the same goal when it comes to "creating" their own writing has allowed Zhou Luoyin to discover even more joy in writing her own unique secrets.
Even though she had been away from Zhou Luoyi in this dream for some time, the psychological shadow left on Zhou Luoyin was still considerable.
That being said, regardless of whether changing the way she wrote it was useful or not, it at least gave Zhou Luoyin some psychological comfort at the time.
Zhou Luoyin put down the housework she was doing, sat down attentively, and read her diary with great interest.
August 21, 2016
Today is my first day at No. 1 High School. Military training starts tomorrow. I'm so annoyed. I don't want to do military training. I remember being exhausted after just one week of military training in junior high. If I have to do two weeks of military training in high school, will I even see the sun next month?
Sigh, whatever happens, I guess I'll just have to bite the bullet and go for it. I probably won't have time to write in my diary tomorrow.
The only consolation is that I saw a very handsome boy in my large group of military trainees. I hope that during the rest of the training, I can take a few more glances at him during my breaks from daydreaming to cleanse my eyes and relieve some fatigue.
Besides that, I also met an acquaintance, a "friend" from the orphanage. Can you call her a friend? Actually, we weren't very close. I remember her name was Chen Qing. I never thought we would meet again after so many years. I wonder how she is doing?
I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight to myself, and this is how I'll remember this moment.
September 4, 2016
Military training finally ended today, but school starts tomorrow. It's like a seamless transition, it's so tough.
And during these few days of military training, I previewed the math and physics I will be learning in the future. To be honest, I couldn't understand it at all from the first chapter. I'm doomed!
My stepbrother, Zhou Luoyi, actually picked me up from school every day after I started high school before going back to his university dormitory. I can't describe how I felt.
During military training, I saw Chen Qing many times. She always seemed to be alone. I wanted to talk to her, but I found that I didn't have the courage to greet her because I didn't know what to say.
Whether it's talking about my past in the orphanage or about my studies, sigh.
However, I heard that Chen Qing has excellent grades and ranked second in her grade in the entrance exam before this military training. She should be doing alright, right?
Speaking of which, that really good-looking boy is also the top student in the grade. Today he even gave a speech on behalf of our age group. His name is An Nianyu. Why is it that some people can have everything? It's not fair!
I don't know when I'll have time to write in my diary again, so I'll go to sleep now.
September 30, 2016
The National Day holiday is coming soon, and I should be happy today. However, when my family was having dinner, my mother suddenly asked me if I knew that another classmate from the orphanage was also in the No. 1 Middle School. She said that her academic performance was very good.
When I saw the rare hint of disappointment on my mother's face, a thought crossed my mind: Did she regret adopting me? Because my grades had never been good enough throughout my life...
...
March 1, 2017
I heard that a new transfer student came to our grade, so I went to check her out. She's not only beautiful but also academically excellent, and her name is lovely too—He Shenmo. She's the kind of child parents always adore. I'm so envious!
In addition, there's more good news: a new neighbor has moved in near my home—it's An Nianyu!
September 1, 2017
Because my academic performance was not ideal, I applied to be transferred from the special talent class to the academic class. Then I was pleasantly surprised to be assigned to An Nianyu's class and even sat in the seat behind him.
I love learning, and I love learning!
September 30, 2017
I discovered that my brother, Zhou Luoyi, had sneaked into my room. Although this had happened before, something felt off today.
The most important thing is that my diary wasn't properly covered, so my diary has been completely exposed. Therefore, starting today, I'm going to write my diary using words that I "create" myself.
October 8, 2017
I discovered that the watch Zhou Luoyi gave me actually has a GPS tracking function. It looks so ordinary, is this the kind of gift a brother should give to his sister?
December 5, 2017
Recently, the head of our grade organized us to participate in a chorus at the New Year's Eve party. Although I know some musical notes, I can't sing at all. It's so frustrating!
December 31, 2017
The New Year's Eve party went smoothly. Wishing myself a happy 2018!
Zhou Luoyi touched me inappropriately again today, and I'm really unhappy about it.
Why.
January 3, 2018
Today, after I went to school, I heard some shocking news: An Nianyu actually dropped out of school and went abroad during the New Year's holiday! As his neighbor, I didn't know anything about it. Is that reasonable? My idol, who I admire so much, is gone just like that!
...
June 8, 2019
The college entrance examination ended relatively smoothly, which should have been a happy day, but I was not happy because I also went abroad to study shortly after An Nianyu dropped out of school. This liberation and celebration of graduating from high school in China did not belong to me.
The learning style abroad is more relaxed compared to that in China, but I also have many difficulties.
One day during the winter break of 2018, Zhou Luoyi confessed to me that he had always liked me, which was simply incomprehensible.
Fortunately, after some twists and turns, I finally explained to my adoptive mother and stepfather the troubles that had been troubling me for several years. I originally thought I would be criticized because I had "caused trouble" for the family.
However, to my surprise, they expressed their understanding and offered to send me to a school in another city or to study abroad. Thinking of Zhou Luoyi, who might cause me panic at any time, I did not hesitate much and chose to go abroad.
It was only after I went abroad that I learned that Xu Yongqing was the child of my adoptive mother's good friend. No wonder my adoptive mother had such a sad expression when she mentioned Xu Yongqing.
Xu Yongqing was lost in an accident when she was a child. It took them a long time to find her many years later. They discovered that she had not only been sent to an orphanage but had also been adopted.
The adoptive mother and her friend originally wanted to bring Xu Yongqing back through some means, but seeing that the family treated the child "quite well" and only visited her without taking any forceful measures.
I never expected that the cell phone I gave as a gift out of concern would lead to an unexpected "cell phone incident" in my grade during the first semester of my first year of high school, and also expose the true face of the family that adopted Xu Yongqing.
Later, Xu Yongqing's biological mother finally collected evidence of Xu Yongqing's abuse through various methods and took her abroad. She was also my only friend abroad.
...
December 1, 2023
I recently returned to China, and then Zhou Luoyi came to my door again. Because his father had restricted him from leaving the country for the past few years, we hadn't seen each other for several years.
It was shortly after An Nianyu and I finished talking at the coffee shop that I met Zhou Luoyi at the coffee shop entrance.
It was during this time that I heard many shocking things from Zhou Luoyi, including the "rumors" about He Shenmo that caused a great stir at No. 1 Middle School back then, and the cause of death of An Nianyu, who died unexpectedly not long ago, all of which were related to Zhou Luoyi.
Because Zhou Luoyi had secretly read my diary, he took measures against He Shenmo, whom I wrote about as someone I "disliked," to prevent her from staying at No. 1 Middle School; and An Nianyu, because I "liked" him, was someone I couldn't let stay by my side.
...
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