Chapter 1
Friday 21:36.
Xia Li dragged her tired body into the subway station. Although it was already late, the subway station was still very busy. This was the famous Line 5 and also the famous Ox and Horse Special Train. There was still a long queue of people waiting for the train, most of whom were people who had worked overtime and had not returned home. She chose the shortest queue and lined up at the back.
In fact, she was in a very bad mood today, mainly affected by two things. One was that she received her salary, and the other was that she paid the rent. The low salary colliding with the high rent immediately aroused her anxiety. She was most likely to be anxious when she needed to spend money but found that she had no money. There was an instant sense of sadness in the corners of her eyes, and her thoughts spread uncontrollably. The more she thought about it, the more she thought about it. She quickly reviewed her failed life, and a deep sense of powerlessness came over her.
She is not a particularly confident person. She thinks she has an ordinary appearance and a bad figure. She does not have a fancy degree from a prestigious university. In addition, due to her childhood experiences, she is sensitive, inferior, and extremely prone to anxiety and internal consumption. Moreover, as she gets older, she has no love life or career, and she is often anxious and in a very contradictory feeling. She wants to get rid of the current predicament but does not know where to work hard. So all the negative emotions are mixed together and summarized into one thought: she is a loser who has accomplished nothing.
While waiting for the bus, she felt a little bored, so she took out her mobile phone to browse the forum, which was one of her few hobbies. As soon as she opened the app, big data seemed to be able to peek into her heart, and the content pushed to her was all successful posts such as #200,000 in savings at the age of 26#, #Buying the first house in life five years after graduation#, and #I also became a graduate student#. These contents were like a ruler, instantly allowing her to find the standard to measure herself, and she became more convinced that she was a waste. The anxiety and regret in her heart suddenly surged.
She often wondered how great it would be if she were a few years younger. She would not have become like this then. The more she thought about it, the further she went. She thought about how if she had not wasted time in college, taken good care of herself, and seen more of the world. Thinking further ahead, if she had studied hard when she was young, she would have had a smooth and happy life like other children, and would not have to be so old to basically touch the door to understanding society. It was too late. She was far behind. Everything was too late. Information bias was a gap that she could not fill. The more she thought about it, the more unbalanced her mentality became, the more explosive she became, and the more she collapsed.
She wanted to go crazy, was full of hatred for herself, and wanted to tear her body apart.
She also suspected that she was sick. The doctor said that she was trapped in the past and could not get out of it. Only she could save her, no one else could.
The font on the prompt screen became more and more blurred, the figures around began to move crosswise, the phantoms overlapped each other, and it was all white. The world was spinning in front of her eyes. Xia Li's feet swayed slightly and she took a small step back. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the discomfort, but it was useless.
At the last moment, the subway arrived at the station and saved her life. She forced herself to follow the crowd into the carriage despite her physical discomfort. She found a corner to squat down, put her hands around her head and pressed it tightly against her legs. The dark and enclosed space in front of her made her consciousness slowly become clear, and the discomfort dissipated bit by bit.
She seemed tired and could even fall asleep while squatting on the ground.
When she regained consciousness, she suddenly remembered the person who collapsed on the subway during the morning rush hour. She still remembered the sound of the person falling to the ground, and she didn't know what happened to the person afterwards.
Xia Li was very afraid that the same thing would happen to him, so he unconsciously increased the strength of his arms, which was a manifestation of self-protection.
She was at the junction of carriages, feeling a little shaken, which made her want to eat something.
Suddenly she felt a finger touching her right arm. She looked up blankly and saw a very cute girl.
She put the chocolate in Xia Li's hand and smiled, "It's very sweet."
Xia Li was a little shocked. After hesitating for a second, she took the chocolate and smiled, "Thank you."
It is said that people are most emotional when they are vulnerable. Xia Li is like that at the moment. The word "very sweet" seems to have opened the valve of her emotions. Her emotions are overflowing to the extreme, and she is trying hard not to let her tears fall.
After leaving the subway station, she rushed to the residential area, holding the chocolate tightly in her hand. As she walked, she suddenly squatted on the ground and burst into tears. She didn't know why she was crying, and it seemed that she didn't need a reason.
She just cried. She didn't have to go to work tomorrow anyway, so she could vent however she wanted today.
Tired of crying, I stood up and continued to rush back.
Lying straight on the bed, she stared at the ceiling motionlessly, her eyes blurred and unfocused. She picked up the chocolate in her hand again, tore it open and ate it. It was indeed very sweet.
At this moment, she understood why things turned out like this. It was more because of her exhaustion with life, dissatisfaction with herself, and her powerlessness in the face of reality.
She was depressed and confused. How could her life be so dull? She was tired of her current life. The heavy work, monotonous repetition and boredom had long smoothed out all her edges and passion.
What she envied most now were those energetic people who could bring good mood to others whenever they met them. They were full of strength and hope, not boring people like herself.
Thinking of this, a tear silently rolled down from the corner of my eye.
After an unknown amount of time, the sleepiness in her body was finally awakened, and she fell into a deep sleep. Xia Li felt something was wrong. She seemed to have entered a strange world where everything was both strange and familiar.
After passing through the darkness, she saw a dazzling light in front of her eyes. She subconsciously protected her eyes, and her palms were the first to feel the change in the surrounding environment, which was biting cold.
She was completely confused. Could dreams feel so real?
Looking up, I saw thick snow all around and my ears were filled with the sound of endless firecrackers. Several children were setting off firecrackers not far away, and every household had put up new Spring Festival couplets.
All signs indicated that this should be the Spring Festival, but she was just in autumn and there was still some time before the New Year.
Xia Li's mind is now full of questions. Where has she been?
She walked forward, the thick snow making a squeaking sound. She looked back at the footprints she left behind. Everything seemed too real.
She had never had such a dream before.
I wanted to check what time it was, so I reached into my pocket for my phone, but there was no phone there. There was only a wallet and some candies.
What the hell is going on?!
She didn't want to be so passive anymore. Even if it was a dream, she had to wake up. She raised her hand and pinched the base of her thumb. The pain was real, but the scene in front of her didn't change.
"I just don't believe it." After saying that, he pushed harder, and the base of his palms turned blue, but there was still no change in front of him.
This trick didn't work, so she tried another one. She slapped herself with all her strength. She could feel the burning pain on half of her face, but the scene in front of her did not change.
Only a piece of snow fell from the tree and landed in front of her.
Could it be that this is not a dream?
Did she travel through time?
Just as she was puzzled, someone passed by and Xia Li hurriedly stopped her, "Hello, where is this?"
The man looked her up and down. Although he thought she was strange, he still answered patiently, "Qi Tang."
Her answer was a huge shock to Xia Li. He couldn't believe it and quickly grabbed her arm to confirm, "Are you saying this is Qitang?"
"Is that still true?"
Xia Li let go of the man and suddenly smiled. She had returned to her hometown, a place that was an indispensable part of her life.
After taking another closer look at the surroundings, it was no wonder she didn't recognize it. This seemed to be the same as her hometown when she was a child.
"So what year is it now?"
Xia Li was still wearing her autumn coat. The man sighed helplessly, his eyes full of sympathy. Who would be so kind as to wear such thin clothes in such cold weather? He thought she was a mentally ill person who ran away from home, and his words became much gentler.
"It's the last day of 2006, and tomorrow is 2007."
"Is today New Year's Eve?"
The man corrected her wording, "Today is New Year's Eve."
Xia Li knew this was the local customary name and nodded, "Okay, thank you."
The man walked over and said with emotion: "How pitiful, still wandering around the streets on New Year's Eve."
Xia Li didn't have time to think about so many things. Her heart was filled with great joy. She really returned to her childhood. Could it be that God was giving her a chance to start over?
She looked at herself and found that she was not the same as she was when she was a child. How could she start over again?
Is it possible to let her go back to her childhood but not let her experience all this?
Suddenly my thoughts were in a mess and I couldn't make sense of them.
A gust of wind blew by, making her shiver and sneeze one after another.
Feeling the wallet in her pocket, she was kind enough to run to the credit union to withdraw some money, buy herself a set of cotton clothes, and then rushed back home.
She wondered how she lived here.
At this moment, she was extremely anxious and her footsteps gradually became faster. She didn't know the situation here and could only make various guesses in her mind.
Now it seems that I am not looking back on that period of my life as a person who experienced it, but more like a bystander, re-examining that experience.
At an intersection very close to her home, she gradually slowed down her pace, looking around at everything, her joy was replaced by nervousness, perhaps this was the feeling of being homesick.
This is where she once lived, but the people and things here are completely different. Otherwise, what identity does she have?
Faced with the unknown world, she didn't dare to rush in. She didn't have enough confidence and courage to face it.
Xia Li stood there hesitating for a long time. The snow on the ground had been turned into mud by her, but she still had not made up her mind.
Until a girl in a red jacket and a hair flower came out with a cold face and a depressed look.
Xia Li's attention was drawn to her. She picked up a branch and drew on the ground. Her little face was red from the cold.
Perhaps feeling the gaze, the girl suddenly raised her head and looked at Xia Li.
When Xia Li saw the girl's face clearly, his feet slipped, his heart began to twitch, and all his emotions turned into a tear that fell into the snow.
She really met her childhood self.
Xia Li had a lot to say to her but was afraid of scaring her, so he couldn't move.
The girl noticed her hesitation, stood up and ran towards her, raised her head, her eyes sparkling, and asked, "Sister, is there something wrong?"
"Sister?" Xia Li muttered softly.
She returned to her childhood, but to the people here she was a stranger, a stranger with all the memories.
Seeing that she didn't speak for a long time, the girl touched her gently with her fingers. Xia Li came out of her reverie, smiled friendly, and gently stroked the girl's head.
As if unable to bear her intimate gesture, the girl took a step back and escaped from her grasp.
Xia Li smiled. Despite being so young, he had a strong sense of vigilance.
"Sister, are you looking for someone?"
"Yes, find some very important people." Xia Li's tone was a little sad.
The little girl looked at her innocently and said, "I know this area very well. I'll help you find whoever you're looking for."
Xia Li shook his head, "I've found it."
The girl's eyes were full of confusion. She thought this sister was really strange, but she still extended her hand in a friendly manner. "My name is Xia Li. What's your sister's name?"
The corners of Xia Li's mouth twitched slightly. Without any time to think, he subconsciously said his name, "Xia Li."
"Ah?" The little girl was surprised. "Sister, do you and I have the same name?"
"No." Xia Li shook his head and gave himself a new name, "My name is Xia Weining."
"Sister's name is very nice."
"Yours sounds nice too." Xia Li, no, Xia Weining, she wanted to accept this new name. She held her hand and asked, "What are you doing out there alone in this cold?"
"I'm waiting for my parents, but grandma said they're working outside and won't be back."
Xia Weining took out some candy from his pocket and handed it to her, "It's delicious."
She used to always say that if she could go back to her childhood, she would work hard and do this and that. But when she really met her childhood self, she couldn't say a single harsh word. She just wanted to give her a candy because she was already suffering a lot at that time.
"Sister, have you just moved here? Why haven't I seen you before?"
"I just moved in today, and from now on we'll be neighbors."
The little girl was very happy. "Then can I play with you every day from now on?"
Xia Weining couldn't help but break out in a cold sweat. No matter what time it was, he always loved to play. "You are a student, your main task is to study."
"Why are you talking like our homeroom teacher?" The little girl lowered her head in disappointment. "I'm 13 years old and in seventh grade. I'm not a kid anymore."
Xia Weining grasped the key point of her words, and suddenly thought of something. He panicked and hurriedly grabbed her arm and asked quickly, "Are you going to someone else's house tonight?"
Xia Li was frightened by her attitude, and even had some fear in his eyes. He whispered, "Let's go to Mengting's house to play."
Mengting is a little girl from their neighbor's house.
Sure enough, it was the same. What happened in the past was repeated again. Everything was so familiar and yet so strange.
The same life trajectory but this time she has to make different choices.
She suddenly let go of Xia Li's arm. She had to stop what was about to happen. She half-knelt and looked at Xia Li. "It's too cold. Can you please stay home tonight?"
"Why?" The little girl was puzzled. "We already made an appointment."
"I'll explain the specific reasons to you later, but you have to trust me. Don't go out. Don't run around during the New Year. Other people's families are busy too."
The little girl nodded, not quite understanding.
Xia Weining was still unsure, she had to see with her own eyes that everything was normal.
She just stood there at the intersection to make sure Xia Li wouldn't come out at night.
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