Chapter 29
During the break, Xia Weining was sitting in a daze when Zhou Renting suddenly came over and sat next to her. "Are you not very confident?"
"Huh?" Xia Weining was shocked.
"Just now during the training, we asked everyone to do a self-evaluation. I heard that your evaluation was quite reserved."
A hint of embarrassment flashed across Xia Weining's face, and she smiled without saying anything.
“Actually, you’re quite good.”
"I'm just an ordinary person. I have no talent and I don't work hard. Others may think I work very hard, but that's all an illusion. I know deep down that I've never given my all."
Zhou Renting wrote down her characteristics in a notebook and analyzed: "You are a very contradictory person."
She doesn't deny this, "On the one hand, I know what I want, but on the other hand, I'm muddled and muddle-headed, living from day to day. Every day, I'm torn between fantasy and action."
In the past, she was also arrogant and thought that she was the chosen one, but the time had not yet come. Later, after working for a long time, she was finally able to face herself and realized that she was just an ordinary person.
Knowing yourself correctly is also a big progress.
Xia Weining used to think he had an advantage - strong endurance, but later he found out that to put it bluntly, he was just a slacker.
She also boasts of her strong adaptability, but in fact she is just willing to swallow her anger. In the workplace, she always does the most work but gets the lowest salary for the same position. Others dare to ask their leaders for a raise, but she doesn't.
She always lacks a sense of entitlement, and has neither the awareness nor the courage to protect her own interests, so she is often ignored.
The good boss will never think of her on his own initiative. She is like an insignificant and transparent person. The distribution of benefits has nothing to do with her, and she is the focus of work.
I remember that one time she made up her mind to resign because a colleague told her how much his year-end bonus was during the kick-off meeting. She then realized that the company was going to give out year-end bonuses, but the year-end bonus promised to her by her leader was nowhere to be found.
She was very sad that day. She tried to hold it in at the company, but after get off work she rejected all invitations and cried alone on the street. The more she thought about it, the more upset she felt until she collapsed. This was also the fuse that led to her resignation.
After crying, she sent a message to her boss on WeChat: "Mr. Wu, excuse me, I have a question. When will the year-end bonus be paid? Money is really tight lately and I can barely pay the rent." (Added a sad emoticon.)
She was telling the truth. The branch office space needed rent, and her leader asked her to pay it first and get reimbursed later, as she didn't have that much money.
In the end, it was the leader who paid the money, but she could not forget the look in his eyes when he looked at her at the end, as if he was looking at a useless person.
She herself couldn't understand why she could live such a miserable life after working so long.
This was the first time she took the initiative to ask her leader for something. The leader agreed to make up the difference in her next month's salary, and she finally got her year-end bonus.
She was very happy. It turned out that the crying child really got candy. This also made her realize the benefits of daring to speak to the leader.
Unfortunately, it was only this time, and she resigned afterwards.
Because in this job she is online 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and even on weekends and holidays many people will arrange her work at will, she has hardly ever enjoyed a complete vacation.
So she gradually became crazy, her temper became worse and worse, she complained every day, was surrounded by hostility all the time, and had so many negative emotions that she exploded. Even her colleagues who had a good relationship with her found it difficult to accept.
In order to be a normal person, she chose to leave.
After arriving in a new place and intentionally controlling her temper, her temper gradually became calmer and more stable. She no longer complained and rarely got angry.
The painful experiences in the past still allowed her to grow.
Xia Weining's eyes were a little red and her body was trembling slightly. At a certain moment, she felt that she was very powerful, working to make money while "treating" herself.
Later, she met many true geniuses on the Internet. She realized her own ordinariness, but was unwilling to be an ordinary person.
So what?
She will never reach the starting point of others in her entire life.
Her pain comes from the imbalance between her lofty goals and her lack of ability.
So she decided to take the civil service exam, but repeated failures made her even more confused. There was an unreachable shore ahead and an illusory career behind her. She was stuck in the middle, suffering and wasting her time.
She sometimes wondered why God was so harsh on her. She had not achieved any successful results in any exam since she failed the college entrance examination.
She had almost forgotten what success felt like.
Gradually, she began to advocate the theory of talent and used it to excuse her false efforts. After repeated setbacks, she finally realized that the goal she wanted to achieve was far from relying on talent, but only on solid efforts.
I often prayed for metaphysics before and after the exams, but after the results came out, I found that my ability was not good enough to require metaphysics.
Metaphysics can bless the third person to succeed but it will never make the thirtieth person succeed.
So she understood that she had no right to talk about talent or luck before she had worked hard enough.
"Teacher Xia, what's wrong with you?"
Xia Weining pulled herself away from her past memories, "Teacher Zhou, I'm sorry, I think I was too engrossed in things."
"I'm glad you're okay. You didn't respond when I called you. I was scared to death."
"I'm sorry to have made you worry."
"It doesn't matter."
The notification bell rang and the second half of the training began. Xia Weining stared at the blackboard with a heart as firm as iron.
Pick up a pen and write a line in the notebook:
Some people say my self-esteem is worthless, but as long as I hold on to it, it has meaning. If one day even I give up my self-esteem, then it will be truly worthless!
After finishing writing, his eyes were full of determination.
It is said that loving someone is like raising flowers, so the person you should raise the most is yourself.
Taking good care of yourself and healing yourself is a very difficult task. Some people even need a lifetime to complete it, but she still failed after more than 20 years.
Xia Weining's mind went blank and he began to think wildly again.
Zhou Renting patted her, "What's wrong with you?"
"It's okay." Xia Weining grinned, a faint light glimmering in his dark eyes, "Thinking about some things in the past."
"How can I help you?"
"No, I can only save myself."
Zhou Renting said nothing more, but stood upright, looking at her with a look that contained some ambiguous meaning.
After the training, Tan Ya found Xia Weining and said, "Let's go back together. My brother will pick us up."
"Is it convenient?"
"How is it inconvenient? I can sit alone, and you can sit with me too."
Xia Weining smiled and didn't hesitate. She was also worried about how to get back, so she agreed and said, "Thank you."
"You're welcome. Pack your things and we'll meet at the gate."
After a while, Xia Weining went out with her luggage. She saw Tan Ya waving at her from a distance and ran over with a smile.
When she got closer and saw the person sitting in the car clearly, she was dumbfounded on the spot, her eyes narrowed in disbelief. It turned out that the brother Tan Ya was talking about was Sheng Huaizhou, which was really absurd and ridiculous.
Sheng Huaizhou sat in the driver's seat with a cold look on his face. When he saw her, he just glanced at her without any reaction.
Xia Weining snorted coldly, not understanding what he meant.
She stood beside the car with her luggage and had no intention of getting in. Now it was Tanya who was embarrassed. She could clearly feel that something was wrong between the two of them and felt vaguely awkward, so she wanted to take the initiative to break the ice.
"Weining, let me introduce you to my cousin Sheng Huaizhou."
"I've met Officer Sheng. We went together to retrieve information during the last school drill."
"Right, right, right." Tanya slapped her forehead in frustration. "Look at my memory. It's better now that you've met before. It will save you the embarrassment."
Xia Weining couldn't help but sneer in her heart. It was embarrassing precisely because she had seen him before.
"Huaizhou, this is the friend Xia Weining I told you about."
Sheng Huaizhou's expression finally changed slightly at this moment, and a faint outline appeared at the corner of his mouth. "Teacher Xia and I live in the same residential complex." He paused, deliberately lengthening the last word, "And live next door."
The last sentence sounded particularly ambiguous to outsiders. Xia Weining glared at him, not understanding what this elder brother was trying to do.
"So you two have known each other for a long time? Why didn't you tell me?" Tanya's eyes flashed fiercely, scanning back and forth like radar. "Tell me the truth about your relationship."
"Not very good." Xia Weining pushed her into the car, "Let's go back quickly."
Tan Ya felt that things were not that simple. Since the parties involved refused to say anything, she would do it her own way. She kept looking at the two of them and smiled as if her plan was about to succeed.
Xia Weining was leaning against the window looking at the scenery outside when she was suddenly tapped on the shoulder. Then she heard Tan Ya's voice, "How are you and Teacher Zhou doing?"
"Huh?" Xia Weining didn't understand what was going on, so she just casually replied, "Very good."
"It's pretty good."
Tan Ya deliberately repeated this sentence and gave Sheng Huaizhou a meaningful look through the endoscope.
Sheng Huaizhou smiled helplessly, finally understanding what his cousin was going to do.
"Teacher Zhou is very good to you, you can consider it."
"What are you considering?" Xia Weining finally reacted and quickly explained, "We are just normal colleagues."
"This relationship can be developed, and feelings can be cultivated."
"No, no, no, did you misunderstand?"
Sheng Huaizhou couldn't hold it in any longer after hearing this, and laughed out loud, giving Tan Ya an undisguised look with a very sarcastic smirk, as if to say, "Save it, you've been slapped in the face."
Tanya was furious for a moment, which only aroused her fighting spirit. "It's okay, I have many outstanding boys. I will introduce them to you someday."
Xia Weining thought of what Tan Ya said and thought of it as making another friend. She didn't want to refuse her kindness, so she agreed and said, "Okay."
"That's right." Tan Ya was very happy, thinking she had won back a victory. She deliberately pushed the back of the driver's seat and reminded him seriously, "Huaizhou, drive carefully."
Sheng Huaizhou: ...
What happened to his cousin? She was so addicted to acting that he didn't even know who she was competing with. She was so excited for no apparent reason.
People always say that three women make a play. In his opinion, his cousin can perform a whole play by herself, and he even feels that the stage is too small for her to perform.
After returning to the county, Sheng Huaizhou sent Tan Ya off first. He stopped the car and urged directly, "We're here."
Tan Ya took down her luggage and knocked on the driver's window. Sheng Huaizhou lowered the window and asked, "What's wrong?"
"Come down, I have something to tell you." After saying that, he looked at Xia Weining and said, "Sorry, wait a moment."
"fine."
Sheng Huaizhou got out of the car reluctantly, leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets, "Say whatever you want."
"Is that how you talk to me?" Tanya gritted her teeth and twisted his arm, "Can you please be more careful?"
"What?"
"If you like someone, take action quickly. Such a good girl won't wait for you. Don't let the opportunity go to waste."
Sheng Huaizhou: ...
This was truly speechless. "Who likes her?" He placed his hands solemnly on Tanya's shoulders. "Great people's teacher, please focus all your energy on teaching and educating people, okay? Stop thinking about blindly introducing people to potential partners."
"Why did I introduce it so blindly?"
"Do you think she's willing? I can't refuse outright out of consideration for her feelings."
Tanya stared at him and suddenly laughed, "Are you jealous?"
Sheng Huaizhou gave her a helpless look and said goodbye with both hands, "Go back soon, old lady."
"Just keep your mouth shut. Anyway, you're the one who's feeling bad, not me."
After sending Tan Ya off, the two returned to their residential complex. Before getting out of the car, Sheng Huaizhou glanced back and said to Xia Weining, "My cousin likes to laugh and joke sometimes. You don't have to take her words seriously. Don't take them to heart. She doesn't like direct rejection."
Xia Weining was stunned and asked with a smile: "What?"
At this moment, Sheng Huaizhou felt that he was the clown.
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