Chapter 341: Having a Consciousness of My Own
But now that she has returned to her first life, she must find a way to find out the truth, not for Hua Qingmei, but for herself who has worked hard throughout her life.
Jian Huadong was very happy to receive the sweet and soft hug from her mother, with a smile on her face. "Mom, don't worry, I will study hard."
"Xiaodong, you are so good." Hua Xiali touched Jian Huadong's head and said to Jian Nan, "Jian Nan, take Xiaodong downstairs! I want to rest for a while."
After Jian Nan brought Jian Huadong downstairs, Hua Xiali locked the door, then took her teacup, flashed into the spiritual spring space, scooped a cup of spiritual spring and drank it, because her stomach felt a little uncomfortable, she wanted to live well, she wanted to go see Huo Beixi, she didn't want Huo Beixi to wait endlessly in the endless darkness...
"Wifey, it's time for dinner." I don't know how much time has passed before there is a knock on the door and Jian Nan's voice.
"Got it. I'll be right there." Hua Xiali straightened his clothes and opened the door. He met Jian Nan's gaze and quickly dodged the gaze.
She could see that Jian Nan really liked her, but she couldn't respond to Jian Nan's feelings, so she couldn't give him hope. She would definitely divorce him after the child was born or when the child was older.
She couldn't live with him.
It was not her intention before, it was the author's arrangement. She was a puppet in the author's hands, but now she has her own consciousness. She is no longer the same person as before. She wants to like the person she likes and live the life she wants.
"Xia Li, are you okay?" As soon as I came down the stairs, a middle-aged woman came to greet me. From her features, I could tell that she was Jian's mother.
Hua Xiali nodded but didn't call her "Mom" because she couldn't bring herself to say that.
"Xia Li, you and your daughter have taken care of your father for so many years. You have done a great job and he has received the best care. He really has no regrets, so you should not be too sad. And think about it, now that he is gone, your mother and your elder sister must be a lot more relieved, right?" Mother Jane was afraid that she would be depressed, so she comforted her.
Hua Xiali nodded, "I understand."
She was not sad for Hua Tiefeng, the scumbag, but for herself and Huo Beixi. She came back or she woke up too late. Huo Beixi had been dead for five years. They were going to be separated again in this life. Huo Beixi was sleeping in endless darkness, and she spent the rest of her life in endless longing...
Mother Jian pulled Hua Xiali towards the dining table and said, "Come, eat. Eat more so you can have more strength."
Hua Xiali had never expected that Mother Jian was quite nice, but that was probably because of the baby in her belly. After all, how could a family from a provincial capital look down on a country girl like her?
If she hadn't saved Jian Nan's life, they probably wouldn't have agreed to let Jian Nan marry her.
In the evening, Hua Xiali washed up and lay down. It was only March and the temperature in the morning and evening was still quite low, so there was no need to take a bath every day.
Seeing Jian Nan lifting the quilt and about to get into bed, Hua Xiali sat up immediately and asked, "Jian Nan, what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to bed!" Jian Nan was very confused. "Wife, you're pregnant. I won't touch you. I'm not that beastly."
"No, that's not what I meant." Hua Xiali was a little embarrassed by what Jian Nan said, "I meant..."
She didn't want to sleep in the same bed with him, even if there was no intimacy, she couldn't accept it.
So Hua Xiali got out of bed, took out another quilt from the closet, spread the quilt on her side, and then closed her eyes in the face of Jian Nan's confused gaze, without explaining anything, because she didn't know how to explain it in a way that didn't seem so hurtful.
This matter is not Jian Nan's fault. It was the original author who brought them together. He is just a poor puppet!
Jian Nan saw Hua Xiali sleeping, and did not disturb her. Instead, he looked at her from the side. He felt that she seemed to have become much prettier all of a sudden. He could not help but reach out and gently scratch her nose. "Good night, sweet dreams."
Hua Xiali's eyelashes trembled slightly. How could she have a good dream? If she hadn't woken up and was still a paper man described by the author, she might have had a good dream. But now she absolutely couldn't have a good dream, because there was no Huo Beixi here, and she had to spend the rest of her life alone.
The next morning, after having breakfast at Jian's house, Jian An and Hua Xiali took Jian Huadong and set off. They took the train from the provincial capital's railway station to the town. It was convenient to get to the town because there were many trains in the town. They could then charter a car and go directly back to the countryside.
Sitting on the old-fashioned green train, Hua Xiali looked sideways at the scenery flashing by outside the window with a dazed look on his face. Was he being reborn again and again or what?
When will it stop?
When can we have a truly stable and happy life?
"What's wrong? Why are you so absent-minded?" Jian Nan reached out and held Hua Xiali's hand.
Hua Xiali was startled and quickly withdrew his hand. Seeing the hurt look in Jian Nan's eyes, Hua Xiali opened his mouth but said nothing to explain.
She knew that what she was doing was wrong, but she really couldn't accept Jian Nan, and she couldn't continue living with Jian Nan.
In order to ease the awkwardness, Hua Xiali brought Jian Huadong over and put him on his lap. Jian Nan hurriedly carried Jian Huadong down and put him on the seat, whispering, "Wife, you are pregnant now, you can't be too tired. I will take care of Xiaodong, you should have a good rest."
At noon, the three of them finally set out on the road to the flower shop. Hua Xiali felt extremely sad to see that the business she had worked hard for for two consecutive lifetimes had returned to its original state. It felt as if everything had been formatted and returned to its original state. No matter what she did, would it all vanish in the end?
When she reached the ditch, Hua Xiali turned her head and looked towards the cemetery. Huo Beixi was buried there, but she couldn't go over to see him directly now.
"Jian Nan, you take Xiaodong to find grandma first. I'll go see grandpa first." Hua Xiali had to find an excuse to send Jian Nan and Jian Huadong away.
Fortunately, they couldn't see the cemetery from the doorstep of her house, otherwise they would see her kneeling in front of someone else's tombstone and crying. When they came over and saw the name, they would know what happened.
Huo Beixi was already dead, and she would not allow anyone to make rumors about him.
Hua Xiali stood by the ditch and watched Jian Nan bring Jian Huadong into her yard. Then they walked towards the cemetery. When they arrived in front of Huo Beixi's tombstone, Hua Xiali's legs were still a little weak.
She came back too late; Huo Beixi had been dead for five years.