Chapter 139: Spleen Qi Collapses, Liver Qi Disintegrates
"Big brother."
Xiao Qingxu looked at Twelve's back as he left, and while reaching out to push the door, he was thinking about how he could make Wanwan's family members less critical of him, when he suddenly heard someone calling him.
Turning around, I saw it was Xiao Qinggu, followed by a secret guard.
He is the secret guard whose eagle eyes can scare others, but he tries to pretend to be gentle.
"This Mr. Qiao said he wanted to see us about something."
"Your Highness, please move." Except for being a little gentle in front of Shang Yuwan, Qiao Ai now looked at Xiao Qingxu with eyes like two cold knives.
Xiao Qingxu glanced at the door out of the corner of his eye and nodded immediately, "Let's go."
The three people in the room heard the noise outside the door finally die down, and then Yao Lao turned to look at Shang Yuwan.
"What did you dream about that night?"
Shang Yuwan was stunned. "Why is Yao Lao asking this?"
Ji Suxian frowned and looked at her, "What did you dream about that night? Not only did you wake up quickly, you also..."
She couldn't continue, so Yao Lao took over the conversation: "Wan'er, it's not just your heart meridian that's damaged."
"... Is Yao Lao acquainted with my mother?" Shang Yuwan's eyelashes trembled as she stared at Yao Lao closely.
Yao Lao nodded, but didn't reveal too much. "Your mother is an excellent person, and she can be considered half a disciple of mine. Wan'er, not only is your spleen failing, but your liver is also collapsing."
Ji Suxian didn't bother with those flowery words and asked directly: "Sister-in-law, what stimulated you in your dream that night that made you want to destroy yourself?"
The collapse of spleen energy is caused by excessive worry, but the collapse of liver energy is only seen in people with self-destructive intentions.
Shang Yuwan opened his mouth, and after a moment, he asked cautiously, "Will he die early?"
Ji Suxian: "...Are you afraid of death, or are you afraid of not being able to take revenge before you die?"
Shang Yuwan chuckled, "Of course there's no way to get revenge."
He was afraid that the Shang family would be forever nailed to the pillar of shame for treason, that his enemies would live happily and wantonly, that Dayu's country would be destroyed and the people would have no home...Shang Yuwan was even more afraid that Twelve and Qier would be left alone and drift around like duckweed in the water.
She was afraid of so many things, so like ordinary people, she was afraid of death coming too early.
No one is perfect, so how can we not be afraid of death?
Shang Yuwan suddenly dropped his eyes. How terrified must Xiao Qingxu be when he faces the certainty of his early death?
If it were her, she would have been unable to sleep day and night.
"You two are exactly as Xu'er said." Yao Lao also frowned.
Shang Yuwan and Ji Suxian were both curious: "What did you say?"
"What are you talking about? What else could you say?" Yao Lao couldn't help but fuss, "One of you has all your internal organs failing, the other has a spleen breakdown and liver collapse, and you're saying you two are made for each other! Doesn't that sound good?!"
Ji Suxian silently interrupted: "Just say the last two sentences, the first one was a bit harsh, I'll just pretend I didn't hear it."
Yao Lao glared at her, then looked at Shang Yuwan who was a little stunned.
"Wan'er, tell me the truth. What did you dream about that night? Perhaps I can help you understand it."
Shang Yuwan blinked, "Does Yao Lao know my mother well?"
Yao Lao nodded immediately.
Back then, he was the most respected elder among the four people. Emperor Chengming still calls himself "I" in front of him. You can imagine how important he is. Naturally, he knows a lot about Lu Xu.
Shang Yuwan asked him, "Does Yao Lao know which famous Chinese saying my mother likes the most?"
This girl was quite cautious, so Yao Lao was not repulsive and said without hesitation: "Establish a mind for heaven and earth, establish a destiny for the people, carry on the lost knowledge of the past sages, and bring peace to the world for all eternity."
“…”
“…”
After a long time, Shang Yuwan finally opened her mouth, her voice as light as a feather: "Am I a disaster star?"
Yao Lao was choked by these words.
In an instant, he suddenly understood why this child was so deeply troubled, even to the point of causing his liver qi to collapse.
Ji Suxian widened her eyes and grabbed Shang Yuwan's hand.
"How can you say that about yourself..." Ji Suxian suddenly fell silent.
Hot tears kept falling, dripping onto Ji Suxian's palms, burning her heart so much that it hurt.
Shang Yuwan hung her head, tears sliding down to the tip of her nose.
She held Ji Suxian's hand, her voice trembling and choked as she said, "If it weren't for me, no one would have to suffer so much, and so many people wouldn't have to die."
"If it weren't for my identity, Emperor Chengming wouldn't hate the Shang family so much; if it weren't for me acting on my own, the Shang family wouldn't be exterminated; if it weren't for me being so flamboyant, Xiao Qingxu wouldn't be hunted down and disfigured, and never be able to regain the throne that rightfully belongs to him."
Shang Yuwan began to speak incoherently.
"If it weren't for me, if I had never existed, if it weren't for me, Mother... wouldn't have died."
"......" Yao Lao's dry and chapped lips trembled.
Ji Suxian noticed something, and the hand that was held by Shang Yuwan began to tremble gradually.
Shang Yuwan suddenly laughed softly.
"That night, I dreamed that my parents were in Kyoto, and the three of us were in the Shang Mansion."
"At first, I didn't notice anything wrong. I didn't think there was anything wrong with my parents being in Kyoto. I happily prepared for my wedding and picked out a lot of wedding clothes with my mother."
"Only three days had passed in the dream, but it felt like a long time had passed... until I asked her why she didn't leave."
[Silly child, you are here, where is your mother going? ]
【Mom, don’t you always want to go home? 】
"I always remember that the place my mother most wants to go back to is her hometown." Shang Yuwan cried and laughed.
[Isn't wherever Wan'er is my home? Why go back home? I'm not going!]
"......" Ji Suxian's eyes were filled with tears, and she shook her head silently at Shang Yuwan.
“I asked her, is it because of me?”
"She said yes, because I am her daughter. No mother in this world would abandon her daughter."
"She said that if something unexpected happened one day, parents would die in exchange for their children's life."
“…”
“…”
There was another long silence.
After a while, Shang Yuwan spoke again.
"But I don't want to. I don't want her to give herself up for me."
"The person in the dream is not my mother."
"Mother once said that a person should be themselves first, and then a mother and a wife... I don't want anyone to be imprisoned because of me."
"Eventually, I picked up the knife."
Shang Yuwan laughed foolishly. Her tears and Ji Suxian's tears fell from the corners of her eyes at the same time.
"Kill myself."
【mother. 】
I'll let you go.
"But, but your mother was killed by that old man. It has nothing to do with you, Shang Yuwan, sister-in-law, it really has nothing to do with you. Even if you are not General Shang's daughter, she..."
Ji Suxian wanted to explain something to Shang Yuwan, but she didn't know where to start.
After all, she is not Yao Lao, and does not understand the entanglement between Shang Junhu, Emperor Chengming and Lu Xu.
She looked at Yao Lao with red eyes, hoping that he would say something, but she saw that he had no intention of speaking at all.
"division......"
"It's because of me."
Shang Yuwan interrupted Ji Suxian's call for help from Yao Lao. Judging from her tone, she seemed to have calmed down in an instant.
"Because I look like my father, that's why he hates the Shang family."
"Mother committed suicide with that hairpin just so I could live."
Ji Suxian's pupils trembled and he was speechless.
Shang Yuwan raised her head slightly, her face full of tear marks, and she stared at the ripples of tea in the teacup with her eyes lowered.
"The silver jade feather-shaped hairpin is not only carved with a flying white bird, but also a white lotus."
Shang Yuwan murmured, "My mother said that a man will remember the first woman he truly loves but cannot have for the rest of his life."
"A woman like this is called Bai Yueguang."
Her voice became as ethereal as the morning mist.
"No one in this world can compete with a dead Bai Yueguang."
Ji Suxian found out that she was wrong.
So wrong.
Xiao Qingxu sacrificed his life for Shang Yuwan, which brought her more than just endless guilt.
That was like a leech attached to one's bones, tormenting Shang Yuwan to death!
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