Chapter 224: Heart disease needs heart medicine
"I'm a little tired. I'll go upstairs first."
Song Lehan was afraid that he would not be able to hold back if he stayed any longer, so he thought about going upstairs to change his mood.
People.
Always look forward.
She couldn't be surrounded by this kind of emotion all the time.
Zhang Zhiya had made it very clear in the letter she wrote to her that she should live a good life.
Song Lehan went upstairs, while Xu Jiangcuo sat there, looking at her back as she left, a little confused.
He turned around, looked at the grapes in his hand, picked another one and put it in his mouth.
Xu Jiangcuo lowered his head and reflected on himself while eating. After he finished the whole bunch of grapes, he wiped his hands, stood up and went upstairs.
The door to the room was open.
The meaning is very clear.
Xu Jiangcuo took two steps into the room and saw Song Lehan sitting on the bed looking at his phone. He quietly retreated.
Go take a shower first.
While taking a shower, Xu Jiangcuo recalled what he had just said.
He probably just said a few words about love.
Looking for someone shouldn't...
etc--
Xu Jiangcuo paused in his shower.
If I remember correctly, when they first started dating, Song Lehan told him about the love philosophy her father gave her.
One of them is to see what kind of person he is.
At that time, Xu Jiangcuo asked, "What kind of person can become your standard for choosing a spouse?"
Song Lehan propped his chin up in his hand, thinking for a long time before slowly saying, "First of all, this person must have a positive outlook on life, be responsible for important matters, and be able to take on his responsibilities. Then, he must be able to make money; he can't starve himself to death. And finally, he must be opinionated, but not too opinionated."
"My dad said I should look for an honest partner, but I think those who are too honest are a bit boring. So, not too honest, and not too bad either, just... a normal guy."
This has nothing to do with Xu Jiangcuo.
These are Song Lehan’s truest thoughts.
Xu Jiangcuo was a little unhappy after hearing this, "Do you think I have these?"
What Song Lehan said would take time to investigate, but they had only been together for a short time.
She had no idea what kind of person Xu Jiangcuo was.
So, why choose him?
Xu Jiangcuo fell into doubt.
He doubted Song Lehan's love for her and suspected that their relationship was not solid.
A strong sense of insecurity surrounded Xu Jiangcuo. At that time, he was really afraid of losing Song Lehan.
Later, he really lost it.
Xu Jiangcuo still remembered that Song Lehan noticed his unhappiness and hugged him to comfort him, saying, "I believe you are that kind of person! Otherwise, why would I be with you!"
Just with these words, Xu Jiangcuo was coaxed.
But this conversation has always been a thorn in Xu Jiangcuo's heart.
Until the day we broke up, it was successfully removed.
You see, we just can't get far.
Although Xu Jiangcuo firmly believed that he would be with Song Lehan forever, under this concept, there was always a thorn that would pop up and prick him from time to time.
Sometimes he was forced to give up, and sometimes he was reminded to hold on.
Thinking about it now, Xu Jiangcuo was both happy and painful during that period.
After coming to his senses, Xu Jiangcuo seemed to understand why Song Lehan's mood suddenly changed.
Was it because of his words that reminded her of her father?
It must be like this.
Xu Jiangcuo had thought that time would heal the scars in Song Lehan's heart. He thought that as time passed, Song Lehan would forget the sadness and grief her parents' death had brought her.
He believed that Song Lehan could get over it on his own.
But......
Today, Xu Jiangcuo discovered that time is not a panacea for Song Lehan.
It may even become a chronic poison.
Song Lehan had some psychological problems to begin with, and she encountered this kind of life-and-death separation, and it was her closest person. If no one could help her, she might...
A word, an event, a person...
In the future, it may become the "murder weapon" that kills Song Lehan.
If Song Lehan hadn't said anything, no one would have known.
Based on Song Lehan's personality, Xu Jiangcuo knew without hesitation that even if she was extremely upset, she would not say it out loud.
Thinking of this, Xu Jiangcuo sighed deeply.
The movement of his hands in the shower quickened. He quickly rinsed himself, wiped himself clean, put on his pajamas and walked out.
Xu Jiangcuo thought about what he was going to say for a while before walking into Song Lehan's room.
"You're still awake?"
In the bedroom, Song Lehan was still in the same posture, holding a mobile phone in his hand, probably browsing Weibo.
Song Lehan nodded, "Not sleepy yet."
She had talked a lot with Su Mobai and Ji Shuyu today, and she was very happy and her mind was very active. In addition, she drank another cup of coffee before coming back, so she was not sleepy at all.
Xu Jiangcuo walked over and sat on the other side of the bed. He looked back at Song Lehan, and seeing that she hadn't moved, he got on the bed and sat behind her, facing her.
"What are you looking at?" He took the initiative to find a topic.
Song Lehan guessed that Xu Jiangcuo wanted to tell him something, so he turned off his phone and put it aside, then turned to face him. "What's wrong? What do you want to tell me?"
"I'm sorry for what happened just now." Xu Jiangcuo took the initiative to apologize.
Song Lehan didn't react for a moment and frowned, "What's wrong? Why do you say that?"
"Lele," Xu Jiangcuo called her name, lowered his eyes, and spoke hesitantly: "Are you still sad?"
Song Lehan was stunned for a second before realizing what he meant.
"No." She said stubbornly, forcing a relaxed smile. "I've accepted it. From now on... I'll just... live a good life. I can't let my parents down."
Xu Jiangcuo was silent, raised his eyes, and the next second reached out and held Song Lehan's hand.
Her hands were very cold, but they felt particularly comfortable when they touched his hot palms.
"I can't fully understand how you feel, but I've had similar experiences."
"You know, my parents abandoned me when I was very young. At that time, I really felt that I was a burden."
"Especially when I saw them pushing and shoving each other in front of me, saying no one wanted me, I felt like I was redundant and useless. At that time, I really wanted to ask them, if they didn't want me, why did they give birth to me?"
Xu Jiangcuo took a deep breath, was silent for two seconds, and suddenly smiled.
"Not long after my parents divorced, I secretly ran to the mountains by myself and rolled down them, just like I saw on TV. I thought, since no one wants me anymore, I might as well just die."
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