Chapter 129 Chapter 129 "From now on, choose me, and don't...
She raised her eyes in the chaotic spring, a little dazed.
Why do you have to force her to think about this kind of thing at the same time?
"Now I..." She was tossed involuntarily by the waves again, her eyes half-lidded, a hazy red hue in them. "Now... Huaijin, you..."
"Why aren't you talking?" He finally slowed down and tortured her slowly and methodically.
She bit her lip and whimpered, and even her neck turned red.
He watched with his lips curved.
Just as she appreciated his fragile look when he was crying, he also particularly appreciated her look at times like this.
Charming, affectionate, and gorgeous.
Vulnerable, helpless, and dependent on him.
He likes being depended on by her, likes being needed by her, likes that she can't live without him.
He chuckled softly in her ear, "...babe. Do you like it?"
She looked at him with tears in her eyes and a frown on her face.
He sighed in his heart, why was she so heartbreaking? He closed his eyes and gently kissed the corner of her lips.
"If you like, we can always..."
"...No." She was much more determined than him and refused outright.
"If you don't want to keep... then say so."
She looked at him in disbelief.
Is that why he uses his hands?
"Crazy." She cursed. "What are you talking about?"
"Do you want to choose me?"
"Huai Jin." She gathered her rationality piece by piece and regrouped, "Before I came to Wuliang Mountain, I had no intention of rebelling. I've only been on the mountain for a little over a day, and you're calling me..."
She couldn't continue the rest of the sentence. He calmly covered his hands and made rain, and the iron chain made a sound as it struggled and stretched.
"Why are you so rebellious?"
She lowered her head in exhaustion and struggled for a long time, but she could no longer bear it.
"Speak, sweetheart." He smiled with a hint of determination. "Be obedient, and I'll be faster. Why don't you have any intention of rebelling?"
"You..." She no longer knew whether she wanted to hide or not. Perhaps it was no longer her turn to choose, as her body would have already made the choice. "I...back then, I was only a hair's breadth away from betraying the sect, but I didn't. Now...it's even less likely that I'll betray."
"Are you really sure they will keep their word?"
"Huai Jin," she said, looking up, "I know what you want to say. But..."
She hesitated for a long time and didn't say anything else.
He waited quietly.
"I can't give you an answer to what you want so quickly..." She sighed. "I've been working hard for twelve years for this one long-cherished wish. Giving it all up and starting over is no easy task. The most I can promise you is... think it over."
Think again.
For someone who keeps her mouth shut, this is already a clear sign of loosening up. Pressuring her further will be futile in the short term and will only annoy her.
He now had a vague idea of her temper - she couldn't be forced.
He gently kissed her pink neck, which was like a flower stem, and withdrew his fingers, then slowly pushed them in: "Okay. Then you promise me that you will think about it again."
"But, Huaijin." She frowned and endured the most unbearable foreign body feeling at the beginning. After a while, he slowly allowed her to adapt. After a moment, she said, "What exactly are you planning?"
He was amused: "What?"
"Really not going to punish him?"
He said nothing, but supported himself on her sides with his hands and squeezed a little closer, admiring the way she floated like a duckweed and relied helplessly on him, and brushed away some of her hair that was stuck to her cheek.
She half-closed her eyes: "If you don't torture me...how will I explain to Tianshan? Are you just going to let me go like this?"
Gu Huaijin just curled his lips and rubbed his hand on her rosy cheek.
Let go?
She looked as if she was in pain or pleasure. Could it be that she was really feeling well?
How could she think this was letting her off?
He smiled, buried his head in her arms and kissed her, listening to the intermittent and broken cries for help from her throat. The words stuck together, dragging out from her mouth. When she called his name, she bit each word with so much force that the sound almost broke. He was particularly satisfied with this sound - after all, she loved him, and her love was too effortless.
He murmured, "If there were any other way, I wouldn't take this step."
"...Another way?"
She wondered, cupping his face.
He smiled, then bent down to kiss her chest. She hugged his head, feeling completely overwhelmed. She tapped his shoulder with her dazed eyes, then heard him say, "Dear, actually..."
He stopped talking halfway through.
"...What's wrong?" She touched his wet eyebrows.
"Are you really not afraid of torture?" He raised his head and looked at her.
The clear eyes beneath the feathery eyelashes were filled with pleading, caring and loving feelings as they looked at her, as if they felt pain for her.
She paused for a moment to breathe.
He is the kind of person who would be the first to be unable to bear it if she gets hurt.
"Actually, I don't know what you're thinking, but if I have to torture you," he lowered his eyelashes, casting a few long shadows, and swallowed. "I'm scared."
He had no intention of lingering on, so he propped himself up and looked at her with his head down, his long hair falling from behind on both sides of her face.
"Not even because I'm afraid we'll be disconnected. It's just because..."
It’s just because I can’t bear the thought of you getting hurt.
Not to mention how to overcome that hurdle in the countless days and nights to come.
"Back then, you..." He didn't know why, but trembled slightly, his cool fingers tracing across her collarbone. "You fell off the cliff because of me..." She felt her body tremble slightly along with him. "...how badly you were hurt, all those years ago, I couldn't even imagine it. Now..."
Now, how can I hurt you again?
Even if he had accumulated five years of determination and courage, blindfolded himself, muttered about the revenge of his sect, and finally dared to ask you to torture him, he would change his mind in an instant when he realized that there was a glimmer of hope in other methods.
If there is any way to have the best of both worlds, he will not use that method.
Nan Qiongshuang held her breath and listened. What she heard was not that he couldn't bear to torture him.
She said softly, "My falling off the cliff that year...what does it have to do with you? You won't always be obsessed with this..."
Don't torture yourself because of this.
Gu Huaijin lowered her head in the darkness, and suddenly a few drops of warm blood fell down, shaking her heart.
She lay back on the pillow, their eyes meeting. Under the moonlight, his eyes were so sad that they almost made her cry:
"Baby, I'm sorry..."
"What have you done to me..."
"I was too rash. Knowing you were afraid..."
"I'm scared because I..." She touched his face helplessly. He rubbed her palm with tears in his eyes. "I'm scared because... I did something wrong. What does it have to do with you..."
He didn't say a word, tears falling one by one.
At this moment, she finally understood why he couldn't let go of her when he saw her after five years of not seeing her.
He considered her falling off the cliff to be his fault.
However, for a person who has been betrayed by his lover, what is wrong with going back to seek justice after surviving his life? What is wrong with calling her? She slipped and fell from the iron chain because of her own lack of ability. How can she blame others for this?
"I've never blamed you for this, Huaijin..." She burst into tears, stroking his face with her thumb, "Why do you always... blame yourself for everything that has nothing to do with you. For so many years..."
After so many years, how come he is still the same as when he was the young leader of Tianshan.
He didn't answer, but buried his head in the crook of her neck, trembling and choking with sobs. His tears and breathing soaked her collarbone and neck, making it hot and wet. She hugged his back and patted it again and again. Unconsciously, tears dripped from her chin to her collarbone and then to her chest.
"Don't blame yourself for these things, Huai Jin..." She advised, "What I did back then...back then, even if you really tortured me, I have nothing to say. Besides, that night in the forbidden area of Lan Pavilion, it was me...who betrayed first."
His long breaths rose and fell beside her ears for a long time, and finally he said, "You are also... doing this to protect yourself."
She tilted her head to touch his and closed her eyes.
If she didn't love him, it was just to protect herself and she wouldn't feel any guilt.
But they loved each other, so it was betrayal.
Her tears rolled down, her eyelashes trembled, and she didn't say a word.
"Those years when I thought you were dead... I missed you so much." He kissed the side of her neck, the soft touch causing her body to tingle. "But at first, I was filled with righteous indignation and pretended to hate you, forcing myself to forget you. Later, I found your peace amulet in Famen Temple..."
He smiled and said, "After that, it was no longer possible. I almost died."
"Huai Jin..."
He leaned down to kiss her, moving slowly as he did so, laughing: "Do you know, during those years, I didn't even have anyone to talk to. Everyone hated you, and I stood by, not daring to say a word. Since you left, every time I mention you, I have to follow it with 'How dare I forget my enemy who stole the mountain?' I won't explain, I won't dare mention it."
She tossed with him, tears streaming down her face. He looked into her eyes, smiled, and sighed, "After you died, the whole country applauded, but I was left alone, even having to hide from others to remember you. At that time, I felt... why was it so unfair? You were just a little girl sitting on the stone steps eating iced dumplings. Later... you often appeared in my dreams. In my dreams, every time I returned, it was like today."
She bit her lip and endured it, half-closed her eyes, tears trembling in her eyes, and she was shaking from the inside out.
"Later, I couldn't figure out how or why, but I kept seeing you. Sometimes you were in my room, sometimes you were under the window... Sometimes I would practice calligraphy and you would be standing by the table. For a while, I thought you had come back. They said I had seen a ghost. I thought, if I had become a ghost and I could see you, then I must be dead. So for a while, I kept thinking about committing suicide."
She suddenly remembered her dream. A sword, she thought he was going to kill her, but unexpectedly the blade turned and rested on his own neck.
"Don't be silly. No one commits suicide twenty-seven times. I've saved your life so you can live well. Don't try to kill me!"
"Didn't you say so, dear?" He lowered his eyes, afraid that she would feel uncomfortable, and moved slowly. "Didn't you say that you wanted me to die with you?"
"I just..."
"You were just saying that," he laughed, "but I took it seriously. We're always like this. Whatever you say, I take it seriously."
"No, Huaijin..." She held his arm and pulled him down, pulling him into her arms. His broad back felt solid and reliable. He came down to hug her and slowly pushed in. She bit her lip and said in a voice that was hard to understand. "From now on, I won't act with you anymore. I'll keep my word, okay?"
"Do you keep your word?" His nose touched hers.
"Every word counts."
"Once you've promised me, you can't go back on your word," he said. "I mean it."
She nodded: "Okay."
He suddenly came into the room, frowned impatiently, closed his eyes and kissed the end of her eyebrow. She couldn't help but let out a cry.
"Dear," he lowered his head and kissed her lips, connecting them up and down. He liked to ask her for promises this way. "If this happens again, come find me."
"What's the matter?" She slowly began to lose her mind.
"If...something happens," he suppressed the muffled breath in his throat, "you can come to me. Get on top of me...we can share the same body."
He coaxed, "Did you hear that?"
She had tears in her eyes, and the tears trembled with his movements.
He doesn't want to be separated so much, what will he do when he returns to Luojing, what a fool.
"Did you hear that?" he demanded.
She was speechless. She only felt like there was a fish stuck deep inside her body, the head of the fish was drilling forward, and the tail was flapping outside. She learned to welcome and send it back without any instruction. Gradually, the fish, which did not know how to advance or retreat, swam upstream along her blood vessels, causing every delicate nerve in her body to crackle and explode with sparks, rushed into her brain, cut off her general flag and broke her war drum. The next step was to destroy her city.
"Huai Jin..." Her hands and feet were numb.
"Did you hear that?"
"……good."
"Also." He whispered while sucking her earlobe, "From now on, choose me and never give up on me again."
She actually didn't know what he was saying anymore, she could only vaguely hear the roar in her blood vessels.
"Okay."
The city was captured in just a moment.
She couldn't help but refuse.
"……good."
He wiped away her tears with his thumb, bent down and kissed her lips, sealing them.
There were twelve black-clad guards downstairs. After she regained consciousness, she didn't want anyone to hear her long, helpless cries.
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