Chapter 153 Chapter 153 The kiss is like a carnival ocean.
"That dog said that when you fell down the stairs, burned your hand, and were shot by an arrow in a trap, every single one of those things was actually staged and orchestrated by you. It was all intentional." His voice was cold. "Is that so?"
She lowered her eyes and laughed sadly. After all, she heard these dirty things from his mouth.
She was determined to get rid of the disease and get rid of the bones, no matter the cost, and she agreed without hesitation.
Gu Huaijin's hands paused for a moment, her long hair draped down from her shoulders, and piled up at her side along with her extravagant cloud-like feathered dress, making it impossible to see the expression on her face.
He didn't speak for a long time.
After a long moment, he pulled his hand away, resting his hands on her sides. He took a deep breath, staggering slightly. "Why did you lie to me about these things?"
She couldn't answer.
She exploited his kindness to do evil, and his trust to do evil. She deceived him, failed him, betrayed him, and finally, she used his love to deceive him and directly led to the destruction of Tianshan.
Tianshan collapsed because of his mistake. She didn't have to think about it to know what this meant to him.
"You want me to love you? You want me to let my guard down and let you lead me by the nose. You want me to feel sorry for you, pity you, and always worry about you. You know I'm soft-hearted... and you're using that to get me."
She stopped talking.
At this moment, she suddenly recalled those days in the Muxue Courtyard on the Tianshan Mountains. The mountain was cold, and she always had restless sleep at night. He was afraid she would be cold, so he held her in his arms every night. Later, only when he was around could she sleep peacefully.
The courtyard is covered with colorful flowers in the evening snow, and the Yao Peak is magnificent. I don’t know how many of those nights when birds are chirping, cicadas are buzzing faintly, and the moon is covering the earth through the ice-cracked window, are all false and pretentious.
The young man's first heartbeat was a complete scam and murder.
"say."
Tears welled up in her eyes. She pursed her lips and nodded slowly and heavily.
Two lines of tears flowed from the corners of my eyes.
good.
Gu Huaijin sniffed and smiled for a moment.
He didn't seem to react much, and asked with a calm smile as usual, "Have you really thought about taking advantage of my love and softness back then and killing me with a sword?"
She replied, "Yes."
good.
He had nothing to say and continued to laugh: "From the very beginning, you knew that I was soft-hearted, kind-hearted, confused, and easy to take advantage of. You came up with a set of methods specifically for me to hurt myself and abuse myself. Do you think I should believe you?"
"yes."
"So, Jiaojiao, I treated you with such kindness, but all you wanted was to take advantage of me. You were just waiting for me to fall madly in love with you, and then you'd be done with it, betray me, and take the Mountain Guarding Jade Plate, right?"
Bright and clear.
This name was too old, too distant. Even to her own ears, it sounded like a tear on yellow paper, a blurry, yellowed, damp shadow that would burst with a poke, revealing nothingness behind it.
She still said, "Yes."
He said, "Jiaojiao. What kind of person are you to treat someone who loves you like this?"
As soon as he said these words softly, she understood with tears in her eyes.
They can't.
He raised his head and looked out through the crooked gap in the bamboo curtain, gazing at the distant lake and the moon.
She murmured absentmindedly, softly, "Jiaojiao, have you ever thought that it would have been better to kill me back then?"
The moonlight on the lake was reflected in his eyes, two balls of dazed, pale, empty light.
"Kill me, the sect will fall, and I'll be considered a martyr for the mountain. Even in the underworld, I'll still feel guilty, but it's still better than now."
He turned his gaze away and looked at her in a daze.
Her cheeks flushed, tears of sorrow and shame filled her eyes. He looked at her sorrow without a ripple, "As for you, just continue to walk the path you should walk and do what you should do without distraction. No one will bother you anymore, right?"
She didn't understand what he meant by these words.
But these words would inevitably lead to one conclusion—the conclusion she feared most.
She swallowed her panic: "No."
Gu Huaijin blinked his stunned eyes and came back to his senses.
He asked, "Then why should I live?"
"What do you mean by 'living for a reason'?"
"If the sect collapses, how can I survive?"
He tilted his head, as confused as a child:
"Because you love me? But that's not fair. The others didn't survive without your kindness. It was my gullibility that killed them. In fact, I was the one who deserved death the most. My selfishness dragged down the entire mountain. And because of my own personal feelings, I saved my own life. I was the one who deserved death the most, but I was the one who survived."
He stared blankly at his open hands, which were unable to grasp anything, and muttered in a daze:
"I am the one who deserves to die the most, but I am the one who survived."
He asked, "Jiaojiao, if you wanted to kill him back then, why didn't you do it?"
Nan Qiongshuang looked at his sad and calm face.
He was desperate and numb, numb to the point of having the innocence of a child. He looked at her without blame, resentment, or anger. After so many things had happened, the tragedy was a thing of the past. He just wanted to ask.
She swallowed her tears: "Because I love you."
He blinked his eyelashes woodenly: "But, we can't be together."
Finally got this sentence.
"I don't want to be with you." She felt she should be relieved. She sat up, put her hand on the back of his hand, and tried to comfort him. "I came here today just to make sure you don't stay with me anymore. So today, whatever you ask, I'll answer."
The outer garment draped over her shoulders and trailed, sparkling with gold flakes. In his eyes, she was as beautiful as a fairy.
She could even say such words with ease. He thought, she was not tainted by the worldly world at all. She must be a fairy.
Her hand slowly tightened, and he placed his fingers one by one in her palm, gently and seriously, "Huai Jin, the disaster in Tianshan is not your fault, but mine. If you want to hate someone, you shouldn't hate yourself, but me."
He looked at her calm expression.
She felt that her tone was calm and her expression was cool enough that he wouldn't notice.
She gently advised: "Hate me."
Gu Huaijin said nothing.
suddenly.
He leaned over and kissed her.
She was caught off guard and fell backwards under his pressure. He put his hands on her back, supporting her, and slowly lifted her down, laying her on the deck.
He pushed her knees apart with his knees, held her wrists and kissed her greedily.
A kiss is like a thirsty ocean.
He had made up his mind today to devour her and become one with her.
"Okay." After a long time, he let her go, breathless. Her lips were already crystal clear and her neck muscles were tense from kissing her. He lifted her outer clothes with his fingers and rubbed her waist with his rough palms. Finally, he took out a mortar and pestle from the side.
Gongsun Hong loved flowers and especially liked to grind the petals to make rouge. At this time, she placed a mortar and pestle in the boat.
Nan Qiong Shuang also liked these flower powders, he knew it, so he took it and touched the most fragrant part.
He plunged the pestle into it and pounded it slowly.
"Then I will ask once today, and only this time."
Nan Qiongshuang smelled the fragrant flower scent and closed her eyes, resigning herself to her fate.
"What's going on between you and that guy?"
"That person?" She was so choked that tears welled up in her eyes and she struggled to resist.
"You know who I'm talking about." Facing her, he didn't even want to mention his name, let alone hear it.
"What do you mean by 'how'?"
"Do you love him?"
She suddenly felt the petals being smashed into pieces by the pestle. There was a series of solid, thumping sounds, and she screamed in panic and had to hold on to something to steady herself.
He came here with real determination.
She hurriedly tried to mediate: "I don't love you, I really don't love you."
"Then you love me?" The fragrance was so intoxicating that he was afraid of affecting others, so he lifted her knees and supported her on his shoulders.
On her slender ankle, a thin red rope hung with a golden bell, which rang anxiously in his ear.
He suddenly slowed down his attack for a moment, and she took advantage of the opportunity to calm down and moisten her dry throat: "...Yes."
He chuckled and leaned over to kiss her leg.
The bell stopped ringing for two moments, then started ringing again, the sound of the bell lingering in the boat.
"You said you loved me, can I really believe it?" He was getting more and more anxious. This question had been lingering in his mind for the past few days, as he had been thinking about her so much. He felt resentful at the thought. "You said you loved me a long time ago. You kept saying it on Tianshan Mountain. But even now, I don't know how much of it was true or false!"
"I'm serious..." She was almost overwhelmed by the strange fragrance of the drug. A wave of ecstasy and soreness surged through her body. She had no way to dodge and was trembling with anxiety. "Of course I...! Otherwise, why would I have kept you back then?"
"If you love me," he snorted coldly and pounded into the mortar, nearly cracking the walls, "why did you let him go down the mountain?"
She screamed and couldn't say a word. She gasped with a hoarse throat. In front of her eyes, large blocks of color blended into each other, and the world was spinning and she felt dizzy.
"Tell me. If you love me, why did you let him go?"
Another heavy blow.
She screamed, put her hand between her teeth, bit the edge of her palm, and forced herself to calm down.
He refused to give in, and continued to press forward with his swords and knives. Suddenly, the entire boat rocked with his movements, and the sounds of splashing water, pounding flowers, and bells overlapped and spread out. "Tell me! Why did you let him go? Why did you say you loved him? Why do you hang out in Daming Palace every day? Why do you hang out in Daming Palace in front of me every day? If I'm not here, then you must be living in Daming Palace!"
She couldn't bear it any longer, her mind was in a daze, she could only frown and sigh repeatedly: "No... please don't..."
"What do you think of him?" The bell rang loudly, almost spinning around the red rope. "I've asked you this question a thousand times over the years! What do you think of him? If you don't give me an answer today, you'll never—"
The conversation stopped abruptly.
If you don’t give me an answer today, you won’t even be qualified to ask questions in the future.
He felt as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over his head, and tears fell like rain.
"If you don't give me an answer," he froze for only a moment, then shook hysterically again, blood and tears splattering everywhere, hitting her face. She was almost heartbroken. "If you don't give me an answer, I won't be willing to die!"
"I..." She couldn't speak at all, her ears were ringing and she was dizzy.
"You know, I'll only ask this once, today for the last time." He suddenly paused, speaking each word seriously. "No matter how you answer, I'll only remember your answer for this day. After tomorrow, we'll have nothing to do with each other, so whether it's true or not, it doesn't matter. I just want an answer!"
Her tears immediately burst out from her eyes, flowing down to both sides and filling her ears.
"I never loved him. No matter whether you want to hear it's true or not, the answer is only this one. I said no and it means no!"
When he heard these words, it was as if a drowning man was given a cigarette, or a dying man was given a peaceful death.
He was breathing lightly, almost fainting, sweating profusely, with tears in his eyes.
In such crazy moments, his eyes were always dark pink. The handsome man, like a jade sculpture, had a touch of gorgeousness.
It looks really good.
He immediately chased her and kissed her lips fiercely, kissing her until her head was buzzing and she was exhausted.
There was a pause, both of them knowing there was no time for further idle chatter—this was just one night, just this one night, nothing more—and he picked up the pestle again, pounding like a torrential rain. The petals in the mortar could no longer withstand the pressure, becoming sticky and soft like a pool of fragrant mud. He was too anxious to care, "Then, let me ask you again, did you really kiss that person?!"
Her breathing and mind froze for a moment.
Wu Dao, that dead dog, even told him such a trivial matter that had nothing to do with the overall situation.
I was determined that he couldn't get over it and couldn't figure it out, so I told him this on purpose.
That dead dog.
Seeing her eyes suddenly change, Gu Huaijin knew what she meant even if he was dumb. There was a loud rumbling in his heart, as if a thunderbolt had split his head open, and two lines of blood spurted out from the bottom of his eyes:
"You kissed him?! You really kissed him?!"
Nan Qiong Shuang was shaking so hard that she couldn't even hold herself up. She didn't even realize it, but she was already crying out uncontrollably. The person in front of her was also yelling out loud, "Did you really kiss him?! Why did you kiss him? Why?! What did you kiss him for?! Why did you kiss him?! Why?! You——!?"
"Answer me. Will you tell me or not? Why? What happened? Why did you kiss him? Did you want to kiss him?! You kissed him as soon as you met him?! At that time, I was—"
He didn't even dare to call out the word "Jiaojiao".
Why. Why why why why. Why.
If it was a trick, he would want to die. If it was love, he would want to die even more.
"Liar. Frivolous, selfish, cruel, careless, philandering, a liar!" He cursed with tears in his eyes, "You kissed him the first time you saw him?! If you loved him, I would have let him go long ago. Why did you go to such lengths to deceive me like this! Kiss him, what gives you the right to kiss him!"
"Do you know how I've been spending these days? How much I miss you! I miss you! You go to Daming Palace to hang out every day, and it's as hard as climbing to heaven for me to see you! I miss you so much... I miss you so much... I don't care about Tianshan, I miss you so much that I'm going crazy. What am I doing for you? What gives you the right? What gives you two the right? You might as well die together... You unfaithful things, die soon..."
The person below me doesn’t answer, always, always, always, no answer.
The boat was rocking to the left and almost sinking. Waves of the lake hit the hull, and the bells inside the boat rang like a strong wind blowing through tall trees. There were heavy gasps, groans, shouts, and screams in the boat, but no one uttered a word.
Finally, there was a sharp cry like a cat, and the petals in the mortar were shattered into pieces. The flower juice splashed everywhere, dyeing the walls of the mortar with a beautiful thin pink. The fragrance in the boat was so fragrant that it was impossible to find a place to stand, and the rocking of the boat finally stopped.
Neither of them spoke.
They put on their clothes in silence.
Unspokenly, they turned their backs to each other.
Nan Qiong Shuang held onto the side of the boat and managed to stand up. However, as soon as she stood up, her knees went weak and she could no longer support herself and fell to her knees on the ground.
Gu Huaijin stood far away at the door, waving his sleeves calmly and without moving a step.
He was wearing a black robe with wide sleeves, and without saying a word, he tied the black silk ribbon.
Nan Qiong Shuang didn't show any expression at all.
She walked to the pile of nightgowns that had been placed there at the stern - she was supposed to change into these clothes before returning to the palace - squatted down, and took out two things from the secret pouch in her clothes.
With the sound of footsteps, she walked to his side, spread out her palm, and handed the thing to him.
Gu Huaijin looked down for a moment with an expressionless face.
The middle is solid and the outer circle is hollow, and when the light is refracted, it shines brightly.
It was the pair of earrings he had made for her using his natal pearl.
He was shaking uncontrollably.
"I'll give it back to you." Her voice was soft and quiet, as gentle as the whisper of the night wind on Tianshan Mountain. "Important things should not be entrusted to the wrong person."
Trust is not the right person.
The moonlight was silent, the water was shimmering, and he was powerless to change the situation. He felt extremely lonely and closed his eyes.
After a long pause, he said, "I have indeed entrusted my trust to the wrong person."
After saying this, he lifted the curtain and left.
Only the bamboo curtain was left dangling gently at the door.
She stared at his back as he disappeared behind the bamboo curtain, knowing that he would not come again.
The two crystal clear beads were still held in her palm.
She clasped her hands together and suddenly a tear fell.
So what if we meet again?
We passed each other. We passed each other from then on.
Nan Qiongshuang didn't know what to do. She pushed aside the bamboo curtain, walked out of the boat, and took a deep breath.
Look up.
In the city of Luojing, the streets were decorated with lights and lanterns. It turned out to be the seventh day of the seventh month, the Qiqiao Festival.
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