Chapter 42 Chapter 42 Love me or not, it is not up to you, Gu...
Just now, while lying on the couch, she had actually figured it out roughly.
Perhaps, it wasn't that Gu Zhi didn't have feelings for her. It was just that due to some circumstances, he had to suppress his feelings and pretend to be indifferent.
For example, the mountain rules. For example, the three-month period. For example, the doubts about her identity.
For example, the position of young leader requires him to be fair and not partial.
For example, his partiality had once put her in danger.
With his gentle and considerate nature, once he decided that as long as he gave up his own feelings, it would be good for both the sect and her, he would definitely make this choice.
But if he restrains his emotions.
She couldn't stay on the mountain.
Her identity was already in doubt, and even Gu Zhi still had vague suspicions about her.
If she were to ask Gu Zhi to let her stay, even if Gu Zhi didn't doubt her, the others would definitely not look at her favorably. With her shady background to begin with, she didn't know how they would frame her.
So, if she wanted to stay in the mountains, she not only had to stay, but also had to ask for help - to ask for help.
She had to make him understand that she had stayed on the mountain, but she hadn't wanted to. He had forced her to stay, and she had stayed for him, reluctantly.
She has to be the prey that is loved bitterly, forced upon, and loved to the point of being almost trapped.
Ideally, he could kiss her.
Active and sober, neither drunk nor drugged, a kiss that one knows is wrong but cannot control.
Is it too difficult to make someone like him lose control and lose his composure?
But she didn't care. When she thought about how someone so restrained and self-controlled might also be feeling both self-loathing and emotional, hating both her and himself, holding her face and chasing her lips, she felt an inexplicable sense of victory in her heart.
She would let him kiss her.
So, when the anxious and respectful Asong stood under the dark blue night sky and knocked on her door with difficulty, Nan Qiongshuang looked at the bright moonlight and chuckled silently at first.
——Whether you love me or not is not up to you, Gu Huaijin.
She slowly smiled a smile as bright as a white rose, kind and cheerful, and asked, "'Save?' What do you need my help with?"
Ah Song: "I wonder if the young lady knows that the young master was punished today."
How could she not know? She feigned surprise and asked, "Being punished? What for?"
"It's because..." He stopped talking halfway.
"Is it because you saved me?" Gu Zhi must have given an order not to let them speak to her.
Asong covered his mouth and remained silent for a while.
He will tell you. Nan Qiong Shuang just waited.
"Miss, do you know...how the Young Master rescued you that day?"
"I don't know." She shook her head. "I've asked many people. I asked the young master in person, and I also asked Young Master Xuanbai. Neither of them gave me an explanation."
Upon hearing this, Asong continued to keep his head down and remain silent.
Under the moonlight, his usually calm and respectful eyebrows were stained with a melancholy indigo by the night, and he looked silent and embarrassed.
After a long pause, he spoke, "Young Master originally instructed me not to let the young lady know about these matters. But now... I will speak directly to the young lady."
"The Young Sect Leader forced the underground palace open to rescue people. Although he claimed to be inspecting the treasures hidden within, his real purpose was to save the young girl. To this end, the Young Sect Leader violated the mountain rules and convened an internal meeting, summoning all the elders who were in seclusion outside the mountain. He then used the Mountain Guarding Jade Plate to open the Star Pavilion and mobilized seventeen mechanisms around Hualongtan to divert the water downwards. Only then was he able to force the Hualongtan underground palace open at the beginning of spring."
The more she spoke, the more Nan Qiong Shuang's brows furrowed. She couldn't be sure whether she understood correctly.
"The Young Sect Leader knew that he had violated the rules and abused his power for personal gain. He felt truly guilty for holding the position of Young Sect Leader within the mountain. Therefore, he asked Elder Huide to lash him with fifty poisonous lashes, to be punished in front of Minglun Hall."
Fifty poisonous whips? !
Back then, when she was with General Hu, thirty lashes nearly cost her life. Fifty lashes?!
Moreover, inside the Bodhi Pavilion, Huide seemed to have added twenty more whips.
If someone is whipped seventy times in one day, no matter how strong his body is, he won’t be able to withstand it.
Her first thought was to ask, "Isn't he already dead?" But then she realized that such a wording was not very clever, and for a moment she was speechless.
"After the Young Master received his punishment, Elder Huide sent a doctor to treat him. The Young Master's point was that he held a high position and should have set an example for others, but he knowingly broke the law and did so willfully. He thought that if he wasn't severely punished, it wouldn't be a good lesson for him, so he flatly refused."
Nan Qiongshuang stood at the threshold, and her hands that were supporting the door frame unconsciously tightened slowly, causing pain in her finger bones.
"Even when I was carrying the medicine just now and wanted to apply it to the Young Master, he said..." As he spoke, his lips trembled, and the usually serious man's eyes actually shone with tears. "Everyone in the mountain should take him as a warning. Just be sensible and accept the warning, and don't feel pity or heartache for him."
She listened to every word Asong said and couldn't believe it.
Seventy lashes, without applying medicine, can you still endure until tomorrow dawn?
She said with difficulty, "He refuses to take medicine, you..."
Ah Song's voice trembled, and tears began to fall. "The young master forbade the people on the mountain to apply medicine to him, and we servants dared not disobey. But the young lady..."
But she is not from the mountains.
Nan Qiong Shuang finally understood why Asong came to her for help.
She closed her eyes, slowed her breathing, and for the first time, she felt that sometimes men really could not understand.
Opening my eyes, I asked, "Where is he?"
Ah Song: "It's in the Young Master's room. Don't worry, young lady, the servants won't spread this matter."
She seemed a little confused and didn't care whether the news would get out or not. She took the medicine from Asong's hand and walked towards Gu Zhi's room.
Wu Dao: "Tsk tsk tsk, you acted so convincingly."
Her steps suddenly froze in place.
Asong: "Girl, what's wrong?"
Under the moonlight, Nan Qiong Shuang closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe steadily. The cold moonlight sprinkled on her snow-white face, and she looked like a pale lump of ice.
She didn't say a word for a long time. When she opened her eyes again, they were as calm and clear as before.
Pushing open the door, Gu Zhi was resting on the couch. The room was unlit, the bed curtains hanging loosely. Two or three white streaks of moonlight streamed in through the ice-cracked carved window, hitting the cyan floor tiles and making the room look almost riddled with holes.
She turned around, creaked the door shut, stood in the shadow of the doorway, and called softly, "Master."
Gu Zhi did not answer.
In the moonlight, he was lying on the couch, seemingly without a shirt on, with a large area of his back exposed. The bed curtains were hanging down, so he couldn't see clearly.
She knew that it was because she had been whipped on her back and could not lie flat.
She walked over gently and called out again, "Sir."
The person on the couch still didn't respond.
He didn't respond even after calling out, could he have fallen asleep? With such a serious injury, how could he still sleep?
She carefully hung up the bed curtains, gathered her skirts, and sat down beside his couch.
Only by looking at it from such a close distance can you see how shocking the injury is.
Ah Song said at the time that he had been whipped with a poison whip. She knew what a poison whip was. To make the poison more potent, the whip was equipped with barbs. Each lash not only left marks but also ripped flesh off. Often, after a round, the whip would leave not only blood but also slippery flesh. Because it was so horrific, even the Paradise Hall did not use this punishment on them.
He received seventy lashes of such a poisonous whip in one day.
Even a cat with nine lives probably only has half a life left now.
She lowered her eyes and watched silently.
It was more than just a bloody mess. The intact parts were just red and swollen, and some places were whipped so hard that the skin and flesh were curled up, and some of the blood inside was still bright.
His entire back was covered in large areas of blood, which were almost torn apart - his skin was originally cold and pale, and those hideous bloodstains on his body looked even more bloody and horrible, like scarlet brambles.
After looking for a while, even she felt a little afraid to look at it and turned her eyes away.
I don’t know what mood she was in, but she seemed a little irritated and bit her lip.
After a while, he lowered his eyes, stretched out his hand, and gently brushed the curled wound on his back, muttering:
"...Young Master."
Gu Zhi still did not respond.
Why bother, she wondered? Was it worth it?
Why did he have to do this, just to save her?
What was it that she needed to be saved?
She laughed at herself.
Is it just because... of love?
like?
She knew that he might love her a little bit. But, love... is such a disappointing thing.
You can count on anything, but not on love.
She shook her head silently and chuckled. When they first met in the middle of the lake that day, she was right. He was truly a naive and soft-hearted fool.
She whispered, "Gu Huaijin, I didn't ask you to save me. I didn't ask you to do this."
As she spoke, she hesitantly reached out her hand, wanting to touch him, but now, there was not a single good spot on his broad back.
She bit her slightly trembling lips, lowered her head and restrained her expression.
She said, "I didn't ask you to do this. You did it on your own initiative. I don't owe you anything."
The person on the couch was still asleep, but he also acquiesced in Gu Huaijin's style.
Even if he was awake, she knew that, with his personality of hiding the bloody hem of his clothes from her even though he was seriously injured, he would definitely say, "You don't owe me anything. I just want to have a clear conscience."
She really felt that the current situation was a bit ridiculous, so she actually sneered out loud.
That day in the underground palace, when she was on the verge of life and death, she almost shamefully discovered that she was actually vaguely expecting Gu Huaijin to come and save her.
She was looking forward to his coming, perhaps because, these days, she did feel a little bit of pain in his eyes.
Nan Qiong Shuang was someone who never felt sorry for herself. Even when she was poisoned and pushed off a cliff, she never felt sorry for herself.
Therefore, she was almost never moved by his pity. It is impossible to move someone who does not feel sorry for himself by showing pity.
But now, she really...felt a little pitiful.
It’s not about how many injuries she’s suffered, how many times her life has been on the line, how many people have hunted her, or how many people she’s killed by paralyzing herself.
But...
The only person in the world who might really care about her and feel sorry for her, if she doesn't want to die, he can't live.
In the darkness, Nan Qiong Shuang slowly covered her face.
Oh, fate, why treat me like this.
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