Chapter 64: Unthinkable (Part 4) “Before you give to others’ feelings,…
The sun was clearly shining brightly overhead, but Lian Qiang felt her hands and feet, which had been warmed by the sun just now, inevitably turned cold. She looked at Yue Lingjun, who seemed to be asking casually, swallowed, and rubbed her forehead seriously: "...I forgot."
Yue Lingjun looked at her silently, her gaze heavy, a look that could only reveal a heavy heart. She lowered her eyes with a look of concern, then asked, "When I came back, I saw your brow furrowed. I guessed it wasn't a good dream, so I didn't dare to wake you up."
"I... can't remember what I dreamed about." Lian Qiang rubbed his forehead while trying to see the other person's expression.
Seeing that she couldn't get any more information out of him, Yue Lingjun stopped probing and stood up, breathing in relief. "The air here is pure and clear. Being here calms the mind. I haven't had a dream in a long time since I settled here."
Lian Qiang stood up slightly from the recliner, and said with a serious expression: "Really? That's rare."
Her movement caused the butterfly she'd been clutching before falling asleep to slip and fall out of her arms. Yue Lingjun caught a glimpse of it, but without looking away, she pointed with her index finger, "This butterfly... looks so familiar."
Hearing this, Lian Qiang hurriedly handed it over: "It must be yours. I found it over there. I wanted to chase you and return it to you, but unfortunately you walked away too fast - did you miss anything?"
"I probably dropped it by accident. It's okay," Yue Lingjun tried to take it, but her movements froze in the middle. "It's useless to me now. If you like it, I'll give it to you."
Lian Qiang waved her hand to refuse, but then changed her mind and calmly held her hand tightly, saying, "That's perfect. I'll figure out how this was made up."
"It's up to you." Yue Lingjun was much more talkative at this moment. He said this and left.
Even after she had walked away, Lian Qiang still breathed softly, gently. Unbeknownst to her, she was already covered in cold sweat. These days together had been so peaceful that she had almost forgotten how incredibly kind and thoughtful Yue Lingjun truly was.
She recalled the deeper meaning behind Yue Lingjun's words. Her talk of contemplating the weaving method was, of course, just an excuse. Lian Qiang caressed the butterfly, which had been passed on. Where it might have been rough and prickly before, it had become smooth and glossy, as if it had been touched countless times. It didn't look as if the owner, or rather, the custodian, didn't care for it.
Of course, she also lied to Yue Lingjun about the content of the dream. She remembered it very clearly, the flickering candle in the dream, the young man's slightly disappointed face, and Yue Lingjun's subtle coldness. She remembered it all.
Lian Qiang had no doubt that this was a memory attached to a butterfly, not just a dream. She had a vague feeling long ago that she was seeing more and more things... If she were to find out when this started, it would probably be the day she parted with Shao Yu.
Ever since she parted ways with Shao Yu that day, she couldn't help but see Qing Ji's memories, and she often saw other people's pasts.
The time she accidentally entered An Sijia's illusion can be said to be a coincidence, and because of An Sijia's powerful soul, Chu Shan's special abilities afterwards are also understandable. So, what does what she saw of Luo Wu's past and the current relationship between Yue Lingjun and her late husband count for?
Yue Lingjun possessed a strong and resolute mindset, so it seemed he wouldn't let his obsession with an object slip... So, was this Qiu Ruozhao's memory? Lian Qiang was baffled, waiting for a chance to discuss this with Chi Xingji, a wait that lasted until nightfall.
The tacit understanding between the two allowed Chi Xingji to see through what she wanted to convey early on. After dinner, they found an opportunity and climbed the slope to a high ground. After confirming that there was no one around, Lian Qiangfang told her what they had discovered during the day.
Chi Xingji pondered for a moment before saying, "It may not be due to external factors. Perhaps, you are just good at capturing other people's emotions and unconsciously using them."
Lian Qiang nodded in agreement, but then she felt something was wrong. She had spoken so long and eloquently, but the first thing Chi Xingji mentioned was the abnormality in himself that she had briefly mentioned. She quickly changed the subject: "That's not the most important thing..."
After she pulled him, Chi Xingji finally realized that something was wrong: "You mean, there's already a rift between the two of them?"
"It might not be called a rift, but there are definitely misunderstandings," Lian Qiang pondered over the oddities in their relationship. "Qiu Ruozhao isn't as passive as the rumors say, and Yue Lingjun..."
Her meaning was conveyed before she even finished her words, and Chi Xingji understood.
Untangling Yue Lingjun's lies and their truth was no easy task. Lian Qiang felt a headache throbbing as she thought about it. Chi Xingji stroked her hair and said softly, "If you can't figure it out, then forget it. There's no need to rush. Besides, what if the truth isn't as complicated as we think?"
"...That's right." Anything Chi Xingji said would inevitably lead people to believe it. Lian Qiang wondered, what if she was really making malicious assumptions about Yue Lingjun? How could she define someone based on just a short memory? What if she happened to see a rare moment of discord between them? This shouldn't be the case.
Besides, wasn't it what she had hoped for in the beginning, to get through this month smoothly and safely down the mountain? What was she doing now, adding to her worries?
But... there was a guiding light in the dark, which forced Lian Qiang to think more.
"Don't worry," Chi Xingji slowed down his tone again when he saw Lian Qiang's expression was still unremarkable. "Since I brought you here, I will definitely take you out safely."
This wasn't a promise, but an unfulfilled reality. The night breeze blew gently, and there were no open flames on the mountain. The two sat in the dark, their eyes facing each other incomparably bright and earnest, so bright that Lian Qiang was momentarily speechless, yet the heart hidden in her chest beat with exceptional intensity.
She instinctively wanted to avoid his gaze, but her gaze wandered halfway before she realized she shouldn't feel guilty, so she turned her head back and encouraged herself, "You have to keep your word."
"Well, keep your word."
Chi Xingji responded naturally, and the two of them sat facing each other quietly for a long time. In silence, the embarrassment they had just felt disappeared.
"... Let's talk about you," a clear voice broke the peaceful calm. "Tell me, when did you start to behave strangely?"
Lian Qiang hadn't expected the topic to veer back to her. After a moment's pause, she explained her situation in detail. Chi Xingji lowered his eyes in thought and didn't answer for a moment.
"The world is full of wonders. Whenever you observe these things, do you feel anything unusual? For example, feeling unwell?" After saying that, Chi Xingji looked at Lian Qiang from head to toe with a serious expression, waiting for whatever she would say.
Being stared at like this, Lian Qiang's hands and feet stiffened slightly. She racked her brains to recall, "It seems... I don't have any other discomfort, it's just that my emotions are affected by these things, and I can't help but feel unstable."
In those moments, she was one of the others present.
Unfortunately, most of these fragments are profound and full of loss. Even though Lian Qiang repeatedly tells herself to withdraw and protect herself, she still gets tainted by emotions that don't belong to her.
Chi Xingji still refused to give in: "Besides this, nothing else?"
"No more," Lian Qiang said helplessly, "Really, if you feel any other discomfort, I'll tell you."
"Even when you're feeling down, tell me. I may not be able to share your feelings, but it will always make you feel better...right?"
Lian Qiang frowned as she looked at Chi Xingji, thinking that he was considering this matter as something very important.
——The Immortal King who is always confident of victory actually has moments of hesitation. Is this considered a case of being confused due to worrying too much?
It was as if something was silently overflowing, tightly enveloping her. Then, Lian Qiang nodded firmly, imitating Chi Xingji's tone and smilingly replied, "Yes, of course."
Lian Qiang understood that it was something called "joy".
As they talked, stars dotted the night sky, and the cool breeze tickled their cheeks. It was truly a perfect time for a heart-to-heart talk.
Lian Qiang's mind shifted slightly, and she spoke with a caution she didn't even notice: "Do you remember when we talked about Qiu Ruozhao before? You didn't quite agree with his approach. Why...?"
"Huh? Why do you suddenly mention this?" Chi Xingji was a little surprised, but quickly gave an answer, "It's not that I don't agree, but if it were me, I wouldn't do it. But if he did it, I wouldn't say too much."
"If it were you, what would you do?" Lian Qiang seemed to be asking questions step by step, but in fact, her ten fingers had already curled up in her palms.
She was afraid that the chirping of insects in the mountains and the night wind would damage her hearing, leaving her with only a vague answer.
Lian Qiang couldn't tell whether this was the answer she wanted to hear now or the answer she wanted to hear a hundred years ago. If she really had to ask, she guessed it was the latter.
Fortunately, Chi Xingji's voice was as steady as ever, and Lian Qiang would not miss any pause or intonation.
"Yi Chu thought, I am Qiu Ruozhao, I will not seek death. Yue Lingjun loves me and will not leave me. It is easy to die for someone, but it is even more difficult to live in agony for someone. If I love her, I will not let her become depressed and frustrated because of losing me.
"But it's precisely because I'm not Qiu Ruozhao that I can offer this detached assessment. Perhaps he's also experienced struggles and pain that others can't even begin to fathom, leading to this decision."
Lian Qiang stared at her beloved's profile, her long eyelashes covering her eyes, her soft lips uttering words that made her happy. She smiled and said, "If I were Yue Lingjun, I would definitely be very reluctant to let go."
Those eyes moved and looked at her deeply: "Why?"
She smiled but did not answer: "I still want to ask, if she doesn't love you, what will you do?"
"I still won't ask for death. She doesn't love me, and it has nothing to do with me. Love is something that is difficult to measure and count, but the only thing that is certain is in my hands." Having said this, Chi Xingji paused, as if deliberately keeping the other person in suspense.
It was not until Lian Qiang thought his voice was too soft and leaned over that his eyes fell on her fair face and he murmured.
Lian Qiang clearly saw him turn his eyes away, and even the corners of his lips softened. In an instant, it seemed as if he had decided to give another answer.
“Before you give others love, you must remember that you are the one who cannot be easily let down.”
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The author has something to say: Guess what the ex-husband might have wanted to say~
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